Remember me
by Donniluvsgaston
Summary: Jake leaves Bella to raise a baby all on her own. He disappears without a trace. Everyone has given up hope except for a 7 year old girl with a mysterious imaginary friend
1. Prologue

Prologue

B.P.O.V

"Jacob!" I yelled as I ran after him into the house.

We never learned to agree on anything, it was always what we could agree to disagree on. Most of our arguments consisted of me yelling in order for him to listen, mostly forced; and Jake managing to get angry, punching holes in the wall and walking away from me.

I slammed the door behind me as I got into the house. The impact of the door reverberated through the living room making the windows nearly shatter in their frames.

The house was silent and cold. Things fell apart in our lives when I told him I was pregnant. I'd never imagined our lives would end up like this.

"Don't walk away from me or this , Jacob!" I yelled.

He ignored me as he made his way towards the stairs.

I needed to calm down. I had to make him listen. I grabbed his arm gently to make him stop to look at me. He froze where he stood which was a good sign; it meant he was willing to listen. If there was anything I could possibly say to make him understand I needed to say it now.

I inhaled and exhaled a deep breath. My heart was beating erratically against my chest; the blood pumping in my veins was thudding with each rhythmic beat pounding in my ears. The thought of Jacob telling me he couldn't do this again would shatter my world and bring reality crashing down on me. There would only be so much I could take now.

My heart froze, turning almost to stone as he turned around and faced me with those eyes. The eyes I once thought that could save me; make me whole again and love me unconditionally. Now those eyes were filled with emptiness, I couldn't see anything through those eyes anymore. No love, no hope, no future.

"Bella, I'm not ready," he breathed out in a whisper closing his eyes shut.

The tone of his voice after he said this told me he had made up his mind. There was no turning back. How dare he utter those words to me? When are we ever ready for anything? We had been through the fires of hell and back. I'd given up practically everything just to be with him and now here we stood, both of us emotionally exhausted, my soul shattered by his unwillingness to continue the fight for our love.

For the first time in my life this was something that would be good for me, the best thing that has happened in my life. The worst part of this though, the one person I thought who wouldn't quit on me would just leave without hesitation. I felt cheated, robbed as if someone took something from me that I could never get back.

"I know this a huge life adjustment, Jake. I get that and understand you just as well. But we can both help each other get ready. We can get ready for this baby together." I pleaded to him as the pool of hot tears welled up in my eyes, running down my cheeks.

His head was bowed down as he shook his head reluctantly. A part of me wanted to understand so bad what it was that had him acting like this. I knew Jake hated what he was. I knew how much danger we both had been in but all of that didn't matter now.

A beautiful thing was happening within me. The life growing inside of me deserved happiness. This should have been part of our beautiful memories we had shared in the past. Now, this just seemed like a nightmare where I couldn't breathe as my lungs constricted against my rib cage.

Jake looked up at me, "Bella, I can't. I don't wantthe responsibility. I have enough to be responsible for already. I won't bring a life into this world knowing that it will have the same fate as I have. Please, can't you understand that?" He asked with sorrow in his eyes.

The dam let loose as the tears began to fall as I held myself up against the banister, "I can't understand, Jacob. I refuse to understand why you don't want this baby, why you don't want our baby, a life we made together. I'm not going to have an abortion, I won't and can't do that."

"Bella," he sighed, "I'm not going to stay here and pretend everything is alright while everything inside of me is telling me this is all wrong. This isn't how things were supposed to end up. I can't and I won't do this."

I felt the dagger pierce through my heart, the blade turning and shredding what was left of it. I backed away from the stairs shaking my head, clutching my chest. I ended up against the wall as I slid slowly down to the floor. This child belonged to me, was a part of me. It belonged to us. No amount of words could express the amount of pain that my body and soul were in.

I held my head low looking at my abdomen, caressing where the little life was growing inside of me. The tears were streaming down my cheeks as I raised my head up, I saw the only man I've ever loved turn and walk out the door.

As he walked out he uttered the last words that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

"Bella, I love you but I'm doing the best thing for you and this child. I hope you understand."

The door shut as my world crumbled around me and the darkness consumed my entire being.


	2. Chapter one Whimsical delusions

******Chapter One – Whimsical Delusions**

**B.P.O.V.**

My mind escaped all thoughts as I reached for the back door. I flung it open with such force that I heard the knob bang against wall behind me as I jumped off the porch into the woods. My feet felt light as I sprinted into the forest ahead of me.

Jade was nowhere to be found inside.

It was a common occurrence, her disappearances; as my back was turned doing house chores. Every time though, it scared the hell out of me.

My heart beat out of sync every moment she was away from me, my sanity completely annihilated every second lacking her presence.

My mouth parched and my knees grew frail. The fear enveloped my heart rapidly at the thought of something awful happening to her, always afraid _for_ her.

Even at the moment she spoke her first word, 'Daddy'- the terror consumed me for this beautiful baby girl that is my entire life, who I lived for; every waking moment of mine _for_ her.

Her smile brought about a melody in my heart, my entire being harmonized with her laughter, her voice delicate as a feather. She was my angel.

I ran deeper into the woods behind the house; pushing forward, harder, faster as the sensation of fear crept up my spine.

"Jade!" I yelled as my voice trembled with apprehension. "Jade Emilia Black, please come out now before you give me a heart attack," I pleaded as I slowed my pace down.

The silence in the air ate away at me as I felt the stinging of tears form in my eyes.

As I started to push away the branches of the trees and enter the darkness of the forest I heard a low growl, then….

"Boo!" I heard a giggle echo through the forest trees.

I turned around to feel an extremely warm body wrapped around my right leg. There, before me was my Jade with her gorgeous smile on her face.

Relief flooded through my entirety. I exhaled a breath of air as my being relaxed.

Jade unwrapped her tiny arms from my leg and stepped back. I bent down onto my knees, we were eye level now. Her chocolate brown doe-eyes glimmered with joy and wonder. She held both of her hands behind her back playfully.

I shook my head as a smile rose on the right side of my lips.

"Are you playing with fireflies again?" I asked. "I told you they make your hands smell awful."

She chuckled and smiled enthusiastically with those deep dimples that indented her tawny cheeks.

"Mom, fireflies are cool," she said. "But no, I have a gift for you….well it's not from me but my friend said for me to give it to you."

Jade had an imaginary friend. He was the topic of _every_ conversation. Over the years I had grown a silliness of jealousy because of this said friend of hers. I knew it was ludicrous because this friend wasn't real, just a figment of her great imagination. She had a bond, closeness to this friend though that only she understood.

This was a part of her world that she didn't completely share with me.

She never mentioned him by name but always referred to it by a male. I never pressed her for anymore information though. I figured the lack of her real father in her life was the reason behind this.

I desperately wanted Jade to have a father but I hadn't seen Jacob since the day he walked out on me when I was only two and a half months into my pregnancy. Even though he was absent, he was still her dad.

The rest of the pack had been the uncles and aunt that she needed in her life. That was all that mattered.

I thought children grew out of those fantasies the older they got. As she grew older though, the imaginary friend became a more permanent fixture in her life, it had begun to scare to me. For Jade, the more real it had become.

I smiled graciously, "Is my gift behind your back?" I asked; my brow rose in curiosity.

"Yes but you have to close your eyes, okay?" She said. "Momma, you have to close your eyes and promise to keep the gift and not throw it away. It would mean a lot to my friend."

"Okay Jade, just hurry. Momma has dinner on the stove and granddad says you promised him a tea party."

I closed my eyes, "Tell me when I can open them, okay?"

Her tiny fingers brushed against my wrists as I felt her breath on my face. She was making sure I wasn't peeking.

"Okay Momma, open your eyes."

I opened my eyes to something that sent chills down my spine. I quickly stood to my feet as I gazed around the forest anxiously. Jade's mood changed in an instant as mine had. She looked around and then back into my eyes.

The pain and fury surged through me. Before I could get a hold of myself I yelled angrily at her.

"Where did you get this?" I snatched it out of her hands.

The emotions of a panic attack were coming at full force as the tears emerged from my eyes.

I looked at Jade as her smile had faded long ago, now replaced with a frown as her tears trickled down her face. I knelt down in front of her and wrapped my arms around her tiny body. I had scared her. I didn't mean for my anger to flare up like that towards her. It had dominated me at the moment. I was acting on erratic emotions from the gift she had presented to me.

"I'm sorry Momma," she said to me. "I didn't mean to upset you," she sniffled.

"No baby," I shushed her trying to hold back my own tears now. "I just…I haven't seen one of these things in years."

I rubbed soothing circles on her back to make her crying subside. After a few moments her breathing became steady again as she sighed. I pulled away slightly, staring into the depths of her brown eyes and mouthing 'Momma's sorry' as I wiped a tear off her cheek with the pad of my thumb.

She smiled and pushed my hair from my face with her tiny teal polished fingers.

"It's a dream catcher Momma," she whispered in her melodic voice.

I tucked a loose strand her raven black curls behind her right ear and began to fix her disheveled clothes as she explained further to me what I had already known.

"It catches bad dreams. You don't sleep well Momma, so I asked my friend if he knew what would help you. He told me to give this to you."

A sad smile spread across my lips and I grabbed her hand, "Thank you Jade for caring. I'm sure it will help."

We walked back to the house hand-in-hand. I led her into the house and closed the door behind us.

Once inside, I walked my way into the kitchen to finish cooking.

I pushed all the depressing thoughts aside with all my strength. I couldn't, no, _wouldn't_ allow Jade to see me broken. The agony I had been in while carrying her was relentless. I was pregnant, afraid and alone. Both of our families had been there with me throughout the entire pregnancy but it didn't fill the void I had after Jake left. He abandoned me without a phone call or at least a letter. It's been seven years since he walked out of my life and I promised myself I would forgive and forget. The more I thought about him though; it only made me realize that I would never truly forgive him. I had never forgiven him and I doubt that I ever would.

The Pandora's Box that held Jacob's memories was locked away deep within my heart. A dark place I wouldn't allow myself to go. It was a place Jade would never be allowed to see her Momma in.

My lack of attention to the task at hand was felt as the hot steam rolled up my arm.

"Shit," I muttered through my teeth, turning around to the sink and running cold water on it.

I turned to see Jade with an amused smile on her face. She was playing with the alphabet magnets on the refrigerator.

"Momma didn't say shit," I said.

I knew that was the reason for the smirk that played on her face. She hated when I used profanity but she loved catching me in the act.

"Yes she did," Jade mused.

I checked the steak in the oven and walked to stand behind her to see what she was spelling out. I was ecstatic to see the words 'Jade loves Momma'. I leaned down to give her a peck on the cheek.

"I want you to go get your hands and face cleaned up for dinner, okay?"

"Is grandpa coming over?"

"He'll be here shortly."

Charlie arrived at our house about thirty minutes later. Jade was sitting in the living room at her play table, setting up her tea cups and plates. After Charlie promised Jade he'd be ready to join her in a few minutes, he joined me in the kitchen.

He sat his rifle down on the kitchen table. That always pissed me off. Jade knew to stay away from it and not to go anywhere near the thing. It always got the best of my nerves though, accidents happen! But being the police chief of Forks, Charlie was always prepared for something to go wrong, always.

Charlie gave me a half-smile and sat down at the table.

"Hey grandpa, how was work?" I greeted.

"It was great Bella, just great. It smells good in here kiddo."

"I'm making steak and baked potatoes with some steamed vegetables. I think Billy is coming over but he said not to wait for him to start dinner."

I peered back into the living room to see Jade laughing. Her voice was just so beautiful that I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face.

Charlie seemed pensive for a moment, as if he was thinking for the right way to ask a question he had on his mind. I knew he probably figured something had bothered me today. He always seemed to know when something was off.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked straight forward.

Yes, Charlie always knew when something was wrong. Whether it was the father/daughter connection or just because I was fidgety since he arrived and avoided eye contact, he sensed it.

"I think I would like for Jade to see a children's therapist," I blurted out. I was terrified of what his reaction would be. He wasn't fond of any type of psychologist or therapist. He said they reminded him of magicians, the only difference being is a psychologist pulled habits out of rats. Both my mother and Charlie had gone to one and never went back. I guess he thinks that may be the reason their marriage failed miserably.

"Um, you want to do what Bella?" He asked in a surprised tone. "Did I make _you_ go see a shrink when you turned into Dawn of the Dead when Edward moved away?"

I rolled my eyes, "That was different. I'm really worried about her. This imaginary friend of hers is scaring me. What if she's in danger? I ask her what his name is and she refuses to tell me. I ask her what he looks like and she says it's a secret, dad. I need to know what's going on inside of her head."

"You want me to let some god damn shrink drill into my sweet little angel with meaningless questions?" He scoffed. "I don't think so. She's seven. Jade is certainly capable of answering any questions you may have, Bella."

I sat down at the table, "I'm just worried, and today just pushed me to the limit." I sighed.

Charlie frowned, "What happened today?" He asked.

"Well, I turned my back for two minutes and then Jade was gone. She always disappears and then I find her out by the woods; only this time she had a gift waiting for me."

"What was the gift?" He asked curiously.

I pulled out the little wooden dream catcher from my pocket and held out my hand for Charlie to see it. He took it and held it up in the air with a grin on his face, "Bella, this is wood and feathers."

I rolled my eyes at his ignorance. I mean, of course it was wood and feathers but the significance of the item was what mattered.

"It's a dream catcher. The tribe uses them to catch bad dreams. Jade says she told her imaginary friend that I have been having bad dreams. Then apparently her imaginary friend told her to give this to me and make me promise not to throw it away."

"This is freaking you out why exactly?" Charlie asked perplexed.

I rose from the seat and walked over to the stove, turning the burner off, "I've only seen a dream catcher once in my life. It's identical to the one Jake had given me."

Charlie's face grew hard, "You don't think…"

"No dad. It's not him. He disappeared remember. If he would have returned, the pack would know. Besides, Jade has had this imaginary friend for quite some time. There is no way it could be him, no way." I stated shaking my head.

Time flew by rapidly after that. We had a nice quiet dinner and after I cleaned up, Charlie had his tea time as he promised with Jade.

I watched silently their interaction. Charlie in a pink hat with his grandma voice was classic. I grabbed the camera and took a few photos. Jade was glowing and grinning from ear to ear.

"More tea granny?" she asked in a sweet voice.

"Yes, my dear," Charlie said softly in a high abnormally pitched voice.

I chuckled. Where has this sense of humor been all of my life?

I grabbed the dream catcher out of the drawer I had placed it in. I stared at it in the palm of my hand. I could feel myself on the verge of tears. I quickly tried swallowing the lump that formed in my throat and placed the thing back in the drawer. I had to keep it together for Jade. My baby girl needed a strong parent. I had to be strong for my own sake. It was the most difficult thing to do but she was worth it.

Jade was happy. That was all that mattered.

After their tea party it was bed time. Charlie carried her upstairs to her bedroom to get Jade ready for bed. As he tucked her in, he started with one of his typical bed time stories which I thoroughly disapproved of. It was actually my own life story with a few character name changes and some missing details.

I knew Charlie well and deep down inside, he hoped Jake would come back home to everyone. Charlie took his leaving just as hard as I had. He went through the heart break, the pain, and all the anguish along with me. Charlie had shed as many tears for Jake as I had. Jake's absence was hard on all of us. A piece of everyone had died when Jake left. It was as if he died.

After all, he could have been dead for all that I knew. I couldn't bring myself to believe that though. Somewhere, deep down inside of me I hoped he found happiness wherever he was. Happiness was all I had wished for him since the hate that once consumed me had been bottled away.

I learned to accept the fact that Jake was gone. I knew he would never come back. A few years ago, I even accepted that he didn't love me anymore. I never doubted the love he had for me in the past when we were younger, it wasn't until he was gone that I realized our love had died the day he walked out on me. I just figured it was the only explanation; the reasoning, for his abandonment.

I had learned to box my feelings away from him. I stopped crying. I stopped crying for many reasons. The first reason being Jade, she didn't need to see me in that state. She had a perfect life; she had my love, Charlie and Billy's love and the love of everyone in the wolf pack. I didn't want her to feel as if she was lacking anything. Secondly, I stopped crying because Jade had filled the void that Jacob left behind. Maybe not completely but having her helped the pain fade away.

It didn't bother me that she ultimately looked like him. I was glad that I had a small memory of him with me at all times. She was definitely Jacob's daughter, Jade had the same brilliant smile as Jacob; it made anyone's gloomy day shine bright with the sun. Her skin was darker than mine, not as the russet color of Jacob's but a caramel color that made anyone aware of her Native American heritage. She had his raven black hair but it was curly like mine and long, I never cut it and I never put it up in any sort of a ponytail. It reminded me of the days when Jacob had his long hair. Her eyes were a deep dark brown, almost as dark as Jake's but hers sparkled with all the love and adoration he once held for me. Jade's facial features were as sharp and prominent as his too. Every time I looked at her, it was always a reminder of the man I once loved.

On the other hand though, Jade was quite the diva. She loved make-up and dolls. I didn't even own a pair of heels until she came along; she just loved to play dress up in Momma's clothes.

She was such a remarkable little thing. This was another reason I wanted to keep her close to me at all times. I worked from home after she was born. I was able to get my degree online and pursued freelance writing for the Port Angeles daily news. It wasn't my dream career but it paid the bills. Charlie insisted that I try to become an author but there just didn't seem to be enough time in the day to even think about all that.

I stood leaning against the doorway as I continued to watch them with a dreadful expression, listening to Charlie's bed time story he conjured up.

"Isobel finally decided that Jack was the one for her. So, she got rid of her loser boyfriend Eric. Then she and Jack got married and had a beautiful baby girl." He smiled.

Jade beamed a bright smile, "What was her name?"

Charlie grew quite as he thought about the answer, "Jamie. They named their beautiful baby Jamie White."

_Jamie White, is that the best you've got grandpa?_

I chuckled.

"Okay girls, it's time to say our prayers."

I walked over to where they were and knelt down next to the bed, "Miss Jade would you like to do the honors?"

"Yes please," she said softly. "God bless my mommy and Grandpa Billy and Charlie. Bless Aunt Emily, Aunt Leah, Uncle Quil, Embry, Jared, Paul, Sam, Seth, Collin, Brady and everyone else on the reservation. I would also like you to bless my friend. He is very lonely. I think I am the only friend he has. I hope he sleeps well tonight and he hopes mommy sleeps well tonight too. Amen."

It took me a few seconds to realize the prayer was over. I sat there with my head held low.

I felt the tear stream down my face. I looked up and wiped the tear away, "Okay Jade, time for bed. You have school tomorrow. Charlie, please tuck her in, I have to use the bathroom."

I stood up and exited the room quickly; I made my way towards my bedroom. My feet felt heavy with every step I took. The pangs of pain were crushing my chest making it difficult to breathe. I closed the door behind me and locked it. I walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on as I stripped from my clothes and got in. The steam of the hot shower filled the room. I allowed the hot water to penetrate my skin; I wanted every pore on my body to be washed and rid of the self-loathing that started to over take me. I crouched down on the tub floor, wrapping my arms around my knees. I hadn't cried so hard in years but there I was, curled up like a baby, bawling in the shower. I wanted to believe this was all a dream. I wanted anything and everything to point to all things that this couldn't be him. Maybe I was just over reacting? Had he really been here? Had he been there all this time?

The more those thoughts flooded my mind the angrier I became. If in fact he had been watching from the shadows this whole time, it meant he knew how much I struggled. He saw the heart break and mourning process I went through and he allowed me to believe I was raising Jade on my own. He had no rights to her. He had no right to see her after all this time nor did he have any rights to try to teach her things without speaking to me first. I carried her, I have been parenting her on my own, I watched out for her every waking moment of her life. He denied her after I begged him not to leave. He wasn't there when _I_ wanted him to be there. I clenched my eyes shut as I let the water droplets roll over my entire body.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Morning came faster than anticipated. I hadn't even realized that I was in my bed or how I managed to get here, last night just seemed to be a haze of fog. I peered out the window to see the horizon above the cliffs. The hues of oranges, reds and some purples danced across the beautiful morning sky. Today was a new day; I intended to make the best of it.

I woke Jade and got her dressed for school, which had never been an easy task early in the morning when you're rushed. She always played hide and seek with her clothes or shoes. She would always hide something and I spent more time than we had searching for the item. This morning it was her boot. I searched high and low in her room for the damn shoe.

Jade sat on the edge of the bed swinging her tiny legs which were covered in striped tights. I looked up from searching under the bed and shot her a glare that made her straighten up.

"You know Jade, you're getting too old for this," I said standing to my feet. "Where is your boot?"

She smiled innocently and shrugged her shoulders, "I honestly don't know Momma, really."

"Jade, I am going to take you to school with only one shoe in less than two minutes. Please sweet heart; get your boot so you won't be late."

"But mom, I honestly don't know where my boot is."

I sighed, "Okay you're switching shoes then."

I grabbed her black Mary Jane shoes and made my way over to her, kneeled down and slid her shoes on one by one. Jade's tiny fingers twirled my hair gently as she stared down at me, "Mom, why don't you like people calling you Bells anymore?" she asked. "I think Bells is perfect, it's a beautiful name."

I looked up at her in disbelief. "My name is Bella, Jade."

"Well, people called you Bells before I was born right?" She said tilting her head to the side. "I would like to call you Bells mommy. I like that name a lot."

I stood to my feet, "Who told you that everyone use to call me Bells?" I interrogated.

"I can't say Momma, sorry." she whispered.

"Well, what can you say?" I asked her. "Honey, your friend…what's his name?"

"Mom, I can't say." She repeated.

"I need you to tell me something about your friend, Jade. Tell me something so that mommy can stop worrying," I pleaded.

The right side of her lips twitched up into a smile, "You don't have to worry mommy. Me and my friend, we like to keep promises. I promised him that I wouldn't tell you certain things. But do you want to know what he promised me?" She asked with the same amusement in her eyes.

I nodded, "He promised me that he would always keep us safe from big scary things…like monsters and lions."

I exhaled a breath. "Are you sure you can't tell me his name?" I asked again. "Or can I meet him? How come he never comes out when Momma is around?"

"Your eyes…what he sees in your eyes, it scares him."

"What does he see in my eyes?" My eyebrows furrowed.

"Pain."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As I drove Jade to school the atmosphere in the car was quiet. The rides to school were never this bleak. I was having difficulty being the happy peppy Mommy Jade needed.

We finally reached the school grounds and as I drove up to the curb to drop her off, I gave her a hug; kiss and we said our good-byes for the day. I had to talk to someone about all this. I needed to let out all this frustration or at least have someone tell me I wasn't overreacting over this whole situation.

I drove down to the reservation to Sam and Emily's place. As I arrived I saw Sam and Leah sitting on the porch steps talking so animated and laughing with each other. Their relationship had changed drastically over the years. Leah finally imprinted and after that, the whole world seemed better in her eyes, of course. They were both finally able to move on with their lives, happy with the one person they were meant to be with.

Their attention flashed towards the direction of my car as I drove up the driveway. The smiles on their faces faded as they waited for me to get out of the car and make my way over to them.

_Of course, they're werewolves; they would be able to smell the fear and frustration emanating off me._

"Bella, what's wrong?" Leah asked as I finally reached the house.

I sat on the steps and sighed, "It's Jade."

"Is she alright?" Sam asked in a panicked voice. "Where is she?"

"She's at school and yes, she's fine." I said exasperated. "Do you remember when I told you guys about her imaginary friend?"

"Yup," Leah said. "You mean the same imaginary friend who told her that guys were made of trash and she should never get close to them otherwise she'd start to smell?"

I chuckled, "Um…yeah well, I think that her friend may not be as imaginary as we all may think. I'm inclined to feel that he may be real."

_Yeah that or I'm completely insane._

Leah laughed, "If he were real Bella we would have seen him already."

"Not if he didn't want us to," I said standing to my feet.

"Bella, what are you trying to say?" Sam asked inquisitively.

"I'm saying that your search for Jake may be over," I crossed my arms over my chest.

"That's impossible. The pack has searched high and low for him for the past seven years. If he were here, we would have sensed it, smelled him." Sam said, now he was standing with his arms crossed.

"Look, Jade….she just, knows things; things that she won't tell me when I ask her and then sometimes she just blurts these things out when I don't ask her to. This morning she asked me why no one refers to me as 'Bells' anymore. She wanted to call me 'Bells' all of a sudden. You know how much I hate that name now. No one has referred to me by that name since _he_ left me. All morning I was 'Bells' to Jade. 'Bells' doesn't exist anymore. She died a long time ago. I'm not that broken little girl I was seven years ago. I'm a twenty-five year old mother with a child that needs a strong parent." I shook my head as my hands came up to grasp my hair. I groaned clenching my teeth.

"But, hearing that name this morning, made me feel that way again. I tried not to let it get to me. Then yesterday, she gave me a dream catcher. Identical to the one Jake had given me years ago. I asked Jade why that particular gift." I turned around to face both Sam and Leah. "And you know what she responded? Jade said she had told her 'friend' that I wasn't sleeping well, that I was having nightmares. So her friend told her to give me the dream catcher." I let out a puff of air I didn't realize I was holding. "Leah, I may be a lot of things, I know that but I know for certain I'm not certifiably crazy! This morning I woke up and when I rolled over to the left side of my bed it felt as if someone had been lying in that spot. I've always slept on the right side, always; for years since he left. I'm not crazy and I need to know that," I said frustrated.

Leah stood up and grasped my shoulders tenderly, "Bella, why don't you just say his name around her? She may not be forthcoming with the information but she may react in a positive way hearing his name."

I huffed, "I can't."

"Why?" Sam jumped in.

"I don't want him to come back. I don't want to have to explain anything to Jade. I don't want to deal with him or what he did to me, to us."

"Bella, I understand. I do. But you have to think about Jade. She can't hide this from the rest of the world forever. Sooner or later it's going to come up and I think if you explain it to her now, it may help fix things if indeed it's him."

I shook my head, "It won't fix anything Sam. It will only bring heart ache and bring the memories of what happened back. He walked out on us. I don't give a damn what he wants now. I don't want him in our lives. We've been doing fine without him for the past seven years."

"Well, I hate to break it to you but if it is him, he's already a part of your lives Bella. Jacob made a mistake that none of us can forgive him so easily for. What he did was wrong and I agree with you on that. He walked out on you and your child. Jade is one of the best things that has happened to all of us though and that's why I'm telling you that you have to swallow your pride and confront him as an adult, as the mother of his child. You must face him. Jade is bonded to him whether you like it or not; his blood along with yours runs through her veins. Look, I would just much rather you know what's going on than to be ignorant about the whole thing."

I sniffled as the tears slowly started to make their appearance. I wrapped my arms around my torso tightly in a protective mode.

"Sam is right Bella," Leah chimed in.

"I know that," I snapped. "Can you guys just…be there when I ask her about him?"

"Sure we will Bella but under one condition," Leah had her index finger up and a grin playing on her face.

"Which is?"

"You must make your famous double fudge chocolate cake!" They both laughed.

I smiled. "Sure, I guess I can make that happen."

The afternoon passed as we all hung out at Sam's place chatting away and making our plans for the afternoon. I was still filled with so much frustration and anxiety now with so many things. One in particular that had me on edge was the fact I may have to possibly come face-to-face with Jake; the one man who broke me. He had ripped and shredded the heart that existed in my chest that beat only for him, that heart was pieced together slowly over the years but now beat for my little girl. I learned to not care that he turned his back on me. That didn't matter but for him to turn his back on his own child? I was resentful for that. Even with all the negative feelings I had for Jake, a tiny piece of me hoped we could be a family for Jade's sake. She deserved it.

As much as I wanted to believe I had forgiven him, I hadn't. I wasn't ready. My heart wasn't ready. I feared that if he did come back, that it would destroy the bond they had already. It would be as if Jake were some random friend to her. We would both have to explain to her everything that transpired between him and me. I didn't want to be the bad guy but I knew the situation would head that way because I didn't want him in our lives, at all.

Three o'clock came around and I found myself waiting down the road from my house for the school bus. My gaze fell back to the house where I had left Sam and Leah in my kitchen. It was astonishing how Sam and Leah turned out to be like best friends now. I was positive they had devoured that cake by now.

I turned my attention back to the road to see the huge yellow bus driving down the road. It strolled to a stop and the doors swung open. Jade bounced out to the bottom step ecstatic at the sight of me. She turned to face the bus driver and gave her million dollar smile.

I heard her tiny voice as clear as day as she gave specific instructions to the driver, "Remember Miss Marshall, two top coats will get your nails sparkly like mine."

She flashed her tiny teal polished finger nails

"Thank you Jade. I will keep that in mind. Hello Mrs. Swan," She waved.

"Hi Mrs. Marshall," I said as Jade jumped into my arms. She wrapped her tiny legs around my waist and kissed my cheek a hundred times. I smiled gripping her tightly as I walked back to the house, making my way up the driveway.

"I take it you missed Momma?"

"Yes," She said wrapping her arms around my neck, squeezing me tightly. "I missed you so much and I drew something for you at school."

"Really, well thank you Jade."

"No problem Momma," she grinned.

I walked up the porch, "Jade, we have company." I said placing her on her feet once in front of the door.

"Who?" She asked curiously while turning the knob to the door.

Jade dropped her book bag on the floor and ran into the house jumping into Leah's arms.

"Auntie Leah," she chanted hugging her tightly.

"What? No love for uncle Sam?" Sam asked in a playful jealous tone.

Jade looked up from Leah's neck and smiled, "Of course uncle Sam."

Leah handed her off to Sam as she hugged him tightly as well, "You're getting big," she giggled.

"Look who's talking," Sam said amused. "How old are you again big girl?"

"I'm seven, duh."

Jade jumped out of his arms and stood to her feet. She fixed her pleated skirt and unzipped her jacket. I smiled making my way over towards the sofa as I flopped down on it. Jade snuggled in next to me as I flipped through the channels on the television.

Leah gazed over at Sam, then me. I sighed and rolled my eyes. I knew what those glances meant; they were trying to egg me on to get the conversation started.

"So Jade, anything interesting happen at school today?"

"Not really," she shrugged.

I breathed out heavily and turned to Sam looking to him for some saving.

Apparently, this had to be done by me with the look they both gave me. "Did you ask Jake the Plumber to stop by yet?"

Sam looked confused but then composed himself as he smiled at Jade, "Um…yeah, Jacob and I are really good friends so he said he'd come take a look at the leak you're having in the kitchen sink."

Jade's eyes flashed in his direction. I continued to stare out of the corner of my eye at her. She bit her bottom lip nervously and then looked back down.

I heard Leah snicker.

"I think I remember Jacob, now that you used his real name. What about you Leah?" I asked "Do you know Jacob?"

"Uh…yeah, yes; of course I do," she said.

I looked at Jade with a big grin. She didn't return it. Her gaze just held so much curiosity.

"Do you know anyone named Jacob, sweetheart?"  



	3. Chapter two The Return

**Rating:** R

**Content Warning:** This chapter may include adult themes, concepts and language.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Twilight Saga, etc. etc. etc., you know the spiel.

**Author's Note:** We'll save the A/N for after the story, we know you eager beavers want to get on with it! ;)

**Beta:** RockSteady54

**B.P.O.V.**

I sat next to Jade dumbfounded. Her words were laced with fear as she whispered, "No."

No. Jade wasn't truly sitting here dissolving the suspicions my mind had conjured up. The only reason she'd lie was to protect him. Even as a child she knew how much he must have meant to me; to her. But what would she be protecting him from? We are his family too. Did he think we hated him that much? Was this the reason he may have asked _our_ daughter to lie?

My god! Maybe I am just going insane. Jake is gone. I'm putting everyone through this pain all over again purely for my own heart's selfish reasons.

Forgiving him would take so much out of me but I eventually knew if he did ever come home, I would. I would take him back if he just asked. This was the problem. Somewhere inside me, no matter what I told myself or others on the outside, I had a glimmer of hope.

This was exactly why I sat here questioning my daughter about her father under ridiculous innuendos. I had never had the courage to actually sit down with her and spill everything about him. I didn't even have the balls to utter his name around her. She was suffering because of me. I couldn't bring myself to tell Jade the reasoning behind his absence. It would shatter her innocent soul to learn he didn't want her.

It's been seven fucking years since he's been gone. It's been four years that I've truly come to finally accept it, or at least that's what I kept repeating to myself so I would eventually believe it. My mind had grown wiry of things lately. I couldn't believe I allowed myself to be gullible enough to imagine for a second that Jacob would come walking through the door, yelling like some stupid 50's TV sitcom, 'honey, I'm home!'.

"Sweetie, so you don't know anyone named Jacob?" I inquired again.  
I kicked myself inwardly. I knew I should just let this go. But I couldn't because a mother _knows_when her child is lying. And I had a feeling Jade was lying straight through her teeth. I knew that for a fact.

There wasn't any point in catechizing her though. He resolve wasn't failing. After about an hour of us trying to coax information out of her to no avail; Sam, Leah and myself said our good-byes.  
I sat down at the table with Jade to help her with today's homework assignment. It was the dreaded math homework she despised but it had to be done.

I smiled as I watched her facial expressions when she worked. Her eyebrows furrowed together with her bottom lip jutting out slightly as she concentrated so hard at the equation. God, she just looked so much like _him_. My mind was consumed with memories of him; I couldn't get away from him even if I wanted to.

Jade peeked up at me through her long lashes and smirked, "Mom, you're doing it again."

I sighed, "And what is it exactly that I am doing?"

"You know Bells, you have that dreamy look on your face again, like you're star stuck," she giggled.

I sat frozen in my seat, the panic starting to rise within me. Normally I would have laughed at her for being the pretentious child she could be at times but the nickname she uttered was echoing louder than ever, as if the vibration of sound bounced off the cliffs, striking the effervescence I tried to wrap around us again; painfully stinging reality to set in once more. I wasn't crazy.

_Someone_ must have told her about that name. I had made every single person that knew me aware to **never** mention that name in my presence, ever. The only person that would know to still refer to me by that name was the very person who walked out on me.

"Honey, I told you to call me momma or Bella but you can never call me 'Bells'," I stated sternly.

She gazed at me with curiosity in her eyes, "Sorry momma."

How could I be upset with her? She wasn't responsible for any of this. It wasn't her fault the way my life had turned out.

"It's fine sweetheart," I patted her hand gently, "Do you want me to help with your multiplication tables?"

She nodded.

"Okay, so my mom used to have me draw shapes to help me solve problems like these. Do you want to do it that way or would you rather try the hard way?"

"Shapes," she chanted.

"Okay, what kind of shapes do you want to draw?" I asked while gripping the pencil in my hand ready to press it against the white sheet of paper.

"Wolves."

_What?_

I nearly choked on my own saliva. Wolves? Where did that come from? What did she know about any wolves? I haven't spoken about wolves around her, ever. That was one part of our lives I didn't want to make her aware of.

I shook my head to eliminate those thoughts. Maybe it was just my maternal instincts kicking in and I was being too protective of her. Maybe she just likes wolves. Maybe?

"Why the sudden interest in wolves?" I asked curiously.

"Because they're soft and cuddly like my fur coat that Grandpa Billy gave me," she smiled.

"You think big, vicious wolves are cuddly and cute?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "You know that wolves aren't vicious, momma."

"No, I don't. You know, I used to think the same thing as you," I tapped her nose gently with the pencil.  
"But over time, I realized that if you let them too close, they'll rip you apart and then roam free while leaving you to die."

I could see the horror in her eyes as she stared disbelievingly at me. Jade quickly flashed her attention back to the paper. I didn't mean to frighten her. I had to get control of my stupid emotions. They were chaotic at the moment with everything going on.

* * *

Later that night after I tucked in my little angel in bed I was alone. Charlie came over for dinner earlier in the evening and had gone home. He seemed to live here more than his own place since_he_ left me. I guess he always wanted to be sure I was OK. I was left with my own misery though. Speaking about this whole situation was a moot point. There wasn't anything anyone could do to help me feel any better. My inner demons would continue to haunt me if I kept walking down the path of illusions.

I grabbed a towel from the linen closet and headed to the shower. After this long day, a warm shower always helped soothe me and put my mind at ease. I started to slightly feel better, so much that I even applied a fancy facial masque that Leah had given me and polished my nails.

As I finished washing my face and cleaned up the garments off the bathroom floor I heard a thump coming from the other room. My body grew tense and I felt the hairs on my arms rise up.

I grabbed the bat that I had always kept behind my bedroom door and crept out into the dim-lit hallway. The fear prickled my skin and started to spread throughout my entire body.

I gripped the bat tightly in my palms as I approached Jade's room. The noise was coming from inside her bedroom. I placed a hand on the doorknob, turning it and opening the door slightly. I stepped into the room with caution.

I furrowed my brows, it was dark as I suspected, Jade had to be sleeping.

I reached over to the nightstand and turned the lamp on. What I saw made my heart clench and the horror spread through my entire being. It felt as if the wind got knocked out of me.

The bed was empty and when I glanced around the room the window was wide open with the gust of wind howling through it. My heart thudded against my rib-cage as I ran out of the room, down the stairs and out the back door.

"Jade!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. My feet hammered the dirt with every stride I took. The darkness covered everything making it impossible for me to see. I pushed through the forest trees searching for any sign of her.

The tears stung my eyes as I swallowed the large lump that formed in my throat. Every minute that passed was torture. I started to hyperventilate. I couldn't lose it though, I needed to find her.

"Jade!" I yelled in a panic.

A snarl ripped through the silent air.

_Oh god._

My speed increased as I kept running towards the noise. As I approached, I saw my Jade lying on the ground. Her eyes were shut but I could see her chest moving up and down. She was alive and breathing.

I sighed in relief for a moment but the feeling of relief transformed to fear in an instant when I saw_her_.

Her long wavy fiery red hair danced in the wind as her blood red eyes glared at me. Something inside of me died at that moment.

I always thought the Cullen's had finished her off. When I decided to end my relationship with Edward, he promised to himself and me he would set out to kill Victoria so that all the ties that bound us would be disintegrated. Never once did I think he wouldn't keep his promise but staring straight into those deadly red eyes as she hovered over Jade felt as if I was falling into a deep black abyss.

The sight of her so close to Jade made me fall to my knees. My lungs constricted against my ribs making it difficult to breathe. This was impossible. It had to be. The knots in my stomach became unbearable.

I shook my head vehemently. The flood of tears streamed down my cheeks, "Please don't." I begged. "Kill me. Just don't hurt her, please." I pleaded. The agony that ripped through my chest had me wailing in tears. I whimpered and shrieked uncontrollably.

Victoria smiled and moved closer to her as she crouched hovering over her tiny body. She brought her cold fingertips to brush lightly against Jade's cheek. I saw Jade shiver and turn her head slightly but she was still asleep.

I sucked in a shaky breath.

"You know Bella; I haven't seen you in years. Well, only in my sinister dreams," she cackled. "I knew I could never kill you with the Cullen's alive. So I set out to kill them myself. It took me seven years to complete the task but here I am, triumphant." She flashed an evil grin. "One by one I ripped them to pieces and torched them. I thought killing them all would take away the pain of losing my James, but it didn't," she hissed angrily. "As long as your heart continues to beat," she pointed directly at me. "I'll live with the pain of not killing you," she spat as she stood up.

"But you know I never expected to come back and find you alone, with a child. I thought you would at least have that stupid mutt not too far behind. Did you actually believe I wouldn't come back to kill you? I wanted you dead then and that fire of hatred still burns within me. I still have the urge to kill you with every needless breath I take. I want you to suffer the same agony and heart break I did and now, I think it may be possible," she snarled.

"I can kill her and allow you to live with the guilt. I could squash her like a bug. You're such a weak, pathetic human that you'd probably take your own life and it wouldn't be necessary for me to kill you," she spat with such ferocity.

She raised her boot over Jade's head and grinned wickedly.

"Oh god! Please don't! Please," I screamed hysterically. I felt defeated as the tears poured from my eyes.

She was going to do it. There wasn't anything I could do or say to change her mind. I would have to live with the hatred and abomination I felt towards myself after Jade was dead. These were the consequences of all the bad decisions I had made.

Victoria was going to keep me alive in order for me to feel the anguish I had put her through when Edward killed James.

I gazed over at Jade's beautiful form. She was still sleeping so peacefully throughout all of this. She had no idea what was about to happen.

The sobs erupted even louder from me.

"Say good-bye Bella," Victoria taunted.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I'm so sorry Victoria, please….." I sobbed relentlessly.

At the moment, I was sorry. I was sorry that she had to live with a broken heart. I knew that killing James was the right thing to do but the wounds of losing someone you love never heal. Victoria had eternity to live with that pain and for that reason I was sorry.

My legs gave out and I collapsed to the ground. My hands dug into the dirt as I stumbled with my face first into the soft soil. I didn't want to see this. My stomach lurched and I felt the urge to vomit. The air had been sucked out of my lungs as I strangled helplessly for a breath. I couldn't bear witness to this. I brought my arms to cover my head.

Suddenly, a growl filled the vastness of the forest. I was too afraid to look up. I was afraid of what I may have to see. The agony coursed through my veins as I heard the breaking of branches then a louder growl getting closer. My heart pounded in my ears as I inhaled and exhaled deeply.

Then there was silence. I heard nothing. I lay there for a moment not understanding what the hell had just happened.

I slowly tilted my head up; I saw Jade's body where it had lay before. She was still sleeping. Victoria was nowhere in sight. I could hear the tussling of the trees and branches in the distance.

The wolves came. God, I was extremely relieved and all too happy at the moment! I exhaled a heavy sigh of consolation as I shuffled to my feet. I ran over to Jade and scooped her up in my arms, cradling her and squeezing her tight as if she was going to disappear at any moment.

I ran back towards the house, not stopping until I was inside. I locked the door and rushed upstairs to my room.

Jade was still asleep in my arms. It was impossible for her to sleep through all this. The pools of tears were flowing at a magnitude I didn't know any human being could possess at the thought that I almost lost her. My body trembled intensely as I laid her on the bed to get composure of myself. I didn't want to let her go but I didn't want to wake her. I didn't want her to get scared.

I knelt down against the bed and for the first time in a long while I said a prayer to whatever higher being was above.

I didn't want to be alone right now but I couldn't bring myself to leave the house. Jade had school in the morning but there was no way she was still going after tonight. I thought maybe home schooling would be a better option; I'd be able to keep her with me at all times. I'd teach her myself if it came down to it.

I had to assure that Victoria was dead. She had to be dead this time. I couldn't handle another incident like this happening again; there couldn't be a next time because if Victoria decided to come back, she'd kill us both without hesitation.

I rose up from my kneeling position as I walked to grab the phone in my uncontrollable trembling hand. My fingers were on the phone dialing Emily's number.

To my surprise, Sam answered. I didn't expect that. I thought he'd still be with the pack.

"Sam, thank you so much! I can't….oh my god, I can't breathe," I gasped while clutching at my chest.

His voice was heavy with sleep, "Bella? What's wrong? What's going on?"

"Sam….Victoria was here! She came to finish me off and nearly killed Jade," my sobs started all over again at what had transpired earlier.

His voice was laced with dread, "Are you alight? Oh god, Bella please say Jade's fine! I didn't smell her. Why didn't I smell her?"

I inhaled a deep breath allowing my crying to subside with subsequent sniffles coming from me, "Well, if you didn't know she appeared; then which one of the wolves do I have to thank for saving Jade's life?" I asked confused.

"Bella, all the guys are here. They spent the night because we have to wake up early to work on some construction site and thought it'd be better for all of us to carpool to the location. I'm looking at all of them asleep in my living room as we speak….wait, how did you get away?" He asked perplexed.

"I, I….I assumed that you guys came. I-I….was on the ground with my head buried in the dirt and th-then when I looked up Victoria was g-gone but I heard growls in the distance," I stuttered still shaken up at the night's events.

"Stay in your room Bella. Don't open the door for anything. We'll be there in a few minutes."

The line went silent.

* * *

The time passed rather slowly to me, it felt like I was waiting an eternity for the pack to arrive. It really did only take about ten minutes for all of them to appear at my front door. They were all downstairs as I stayed with Jade in my room.

By the time Sam and the others reached our home Jade was fully awake. I cradled her tiny body in my arms rocking her back and forth like I did when she was a newborn. She didn't question it nor did she try to wiggle out of my hold. She'd barely spoken any words though. I felt her body tense against mine.

I tried to get her to calm down, "Jade honey are you alright?" I asked smoothing her hair with my hand.

She shook her head no as the tears formed in her eyes, "Mom I'm hurt."

"No sweetie, no, no, no, shhh – you're perfectly fine." I smiled at her but I grew anxious at her behavior.

"Mom I'm hurt. I can feel it. It burns...…stings, mom," she said almost hyperventilating. "It hurts so badly," the copious tears were now rolling down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" I asked cupping her face "What's wrong Jade?" I asked in a panic now.

She screamed placing her hands over her eyes shielding herself from me.

Sam entered the room and fell to his knees in front of us. He took Jades hands into his but her eyes were closed shut tightly.

"Bella, I thought you said she was fine?" he asked alarmed. "You said she was fine."

"She was fine, Sam. I don't understand. There are no wounds, I checked already." I answered desperately.

Jade screamed again. Her body was tense as she curled herself into a ball. The tears rolled down my face as I sat there helpless unable to do anything that could help her, unable to make the situation right. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't think coherently.

I needed some air, I needed to breathe. My chest was heavy with distress.

I leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Jade, you have to tell mommy what's wrong," I pleaded. "You have to tell me how to make your pain go away….please." I asked in anguish closing my eyes.

I hated to see her suffer. I brought all of this on her. She didn't deserve all of this agony. How could I not think that my actions when I was younger would mess up my life so badly?

Death had been literally at our door step today. I alluded to the idea that no harm would come to us ever again but the fact was that wasn't true, we weren't far from it. I failed to protect Jade, my only daughter; the one person I lived for.

I entrusted a family of vampires with my life which was a huge mistake now that I had finally come to my senses from no longer being that naïve seventeen-year-old girl.

She sniffled and wrapped her arms around my neck, bounding them tightly together.

Her eyes were still closed as she murmured against me, "We will heal."

I stood to my feet as Leah walked into the room.

"Leah here, take her please," I said placing Jade in her arms.

I paced back and forth frantically with my arms crossed over my chest. Jade's sobs wouldn't stop. I couldn't handle it. How could I make this right? How could I fix this? The same questions kept replaying in my head like a broken record.

After a few minutes, Leah spoke up. "Bella, what happened?" she asked. "How were you able to get away?"

"I don't know," I snapped frustrated. "But you can guess what I'm thinking but I just don't want to believe it. Leah, he's not supposed to be the hero." I said shaking my head.

"Maybe not, but you should be happy that he is."

Paul interrupted us as he came into the room, "Bella this is some freaky shit."

"Profanity," I said pointing in Jade's direction.

Gradually, Jade's sobs subsided. Leah had managed to calm her down. For some reason, Leah always had that affect on her, ever since she was a tiny baby. At times it made me jealous of the close relationship her and Leah shared. I was the mother. If anyone was supposed to make Jade feel better, it should be me.

I was brought out of my reverie as Paul spoke again, "Sorry Bella, it's just….we don't sense him. I mean, all signs point it being him but we haven't caught his scent around here. Maybe something is wrong with us?"

"For the first time I really don't know Paul," Sam interjected, staring into space clueless.

Embry popped in the room with an idea that almost made me jump up and strangle him, "Why don't we just put Jade in harm's way again and see if it really is him?

I glared at him with menacing eyes. "Hey asshole, if you _ever_ suggest anything like that again, next time you'll disappear. I'll make sure of it."

Embry gave an apologetic smile. "Sorry," he muttered under his breath.

"Momma didn't say asshole," I faintly smiled looking over at Jade hoping to gauge a reaction from her.  
She had her face buried in Leah's hair.

"Yeah she did," she mumbled.

I smiled sadly. _That's my girl_.

We all were drained. The endless thoughts kept us up through the remainder of the night. I sat with Jade cradled in my arms. She cried in her sleep all night. I couldn't help my tears. She was always a happy child. I couldn't bear to see her tears.

I bit on my lip as I watched the sun appear on the horizon through the window.

Slowly everyone began to drop like flies. Everyone had fallen into a deep slumber but me. Here I sat with my angel cradled in my arms staring out the window lost in thought. I had begun to wonder if I was failing Jade as a parent. I couldn't protect her or myself last night. I was pathetic and lost as I watched helplessly as the walls crumbled around me. It wasn't a good feeling.

Sleep finally took a hold of me. It wasn't until I felt butterfly kisses all over my face that I opened my eyes. Jade was hovering over me with a beautiful smile on her face. That smile alone put my heart at ease. She kissed me again and slid her tiny body beside me.

I brushed her hair away from her eyes, I was still in a daze from my sleep but I noticed she had flour in her hair.

"You know you should greet momma like this every morning."

She smiled lightly and nodded, "How are you feeling?" she asked out of concern.

"I am okay. What about you?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes, "Well I am sort of upset."

"Why?"

"Because I played tea party with Uncle Sam and he drank all of the tea. He does that every single time."

I laughed and sat up. Jade sat up as well and watched me stretch like a cat.

"We made you pancakes. I put sprinkles on them."

_Oh god, another one of Jade's recipe's._

"Sprinkles Jade…that's gross," I laughed.

"Don't diss it until you try it," she said bolting from the bed.

I got up and followed behind her. Downstairs in the living room I found Sam, Emily, Paul, Leah, Quil, Jared, Seth, Collin, Brady and Embry. Each of them had a stack of pancakes sitting in front of them, all except Emily who was eating a bagel.

"Morning," I said.

"Bella it's three o'clock in the afternoon," Emily smiled. "Just thought I'd let you know."

"Really did I sleep that long?" I asked. "Why didn't anyone wake me?"

Jade came prancing in the room with two dolly's in her hand, "I made them promise not to; you looked so peaceful."

She positioned herself beside me on the floor. We watched cartoons for about an hour. I managed to eat the pancakes covered in pounds of sprinkles and syrup. I definitely would be making a dentist appointment really soon.

Sam and Emily took Jade to the reservation to see Billy for the day. They thought I needed some 'me' time which apparently didn't consist of only me. Leah had tagged along. We decided to go shopping. I hated shopping but Jade loved clothes and shoes. I could bear shopping for her sake. So a trip to Justice was needed.

* * *

The drive to Seattle was nerve wracking. The entire time I couldn't stop mentally berating myself. Why did I leave her again? I knew Jade was safe at the reservation but my mind was still rattled.

Victoria could have still been alive and waiting to attack. The thought of that made my stomach churn as I pulled into the parking lot.

I glanced over at Leah, she was texting. I hated her damn cell phone. It beeped and beeped and beeped every time she received at text. Her imprint wouldn't stop texting whenever they were away from each other. Talk about clinginess. I glared in her direction as I snatched my purse from the back seat. I got out of the car but not before I slammed the door really hard to get her attention.

_That's perfect Bella you always knew how to destroy your property._

Leah got out of the car with apologetic eyes, "I'm sorry Bella. Rick is away visiting his sick grandmother in Texas."

I sighed, "You don't owe me an apology Leah. I'm just being a brat and worried as usual."

"Maybe if you had someone to ease some of that stress you would be fine," she snickered.

I ignored her smart ass remark but for some reason they held some sort of truth in the back of my mind. I knew Leah wasn't finished with the topic of Bella and other men. Other men hadn't crossed my mind at all, not even once since _he_ left.

"Bella can I be honest?" she asked while rummaging through pink sweaters and texting, a talent of multi-tasking to say the least.

"Yea sure," I said.

I grabbed a small basket to fill with accessories.

"Well, I think you should find a man or at least have sex with someone."

I laughed, "And you think sex will solve all of Bella Swan's problems?"

"Maybe," she said with a smirk.

"Hey Bella, have you told Jade that your last name is Black like hers?"

I rolled my eyes, "No and it wouldn't be if the divorce was actual finalized."

"I'm going to give you a piece of advice; talk to Jade, you would be surprised by her response. I tell you that little angel of yours is wise way beyond her years. She gives the best relationship advice."

I paused and turned to her, "You talk to Jade about you relationship?" I asked incredulously. "If she ever asks me what sex is, I'll kill you."

"Oh hush I would never talk to her about sex but Jade's communication skills are amazing. She helped me understand Rick better."

"That's because Rick has the IQ of a one year old," I joked.

"Ouch. Harsh but no and let's not change the subject. Rick has a friend that would be perfect."

"No. I don't think so."

"Why not?" She asked. "He's into books just like you. Bam! Match made in heaven."

"Just because we have one common interest does not make it a match made in heaven."

Leah rolled her eyes. She grabbed a motorcycle Jacket from the rack and held it up.

"No," I disapproved. "She's seven years old. Not some Hell's Angels. Momma does not approve."

"Well, momma will never approve of much if she doesn't get laid."

I shot her the evil glare as we made our way towards the counter to purchase all the merchandise we picked out.

_This will surely leave a dent in my bank account._

"Bella, are you waiting?" Leah asked softly.

"Waiting for what?" I said as I handed over my bank card.

"You know…are you waiting….for him?" she asked. "It's been seven years Bella. I love him as my own brother but you have to move on."

"I have," I said flatly looking away,

"No you haven't. You have to love again. Not everyone will hurt you if you do."

"Leah I know that. My life is too busy to worry about men."  
"It's not just about men Bella. It's about love. You remember what love felt like when it was good. It was the best feeling in the world."

I nodded in agreement, "It was but I also remember how love was when it was bad. It was awful Leah. I'm not ready," I said waving her off.

"Okay but one last question," she said "Will you ever be ready? Jade is going to grow up Bella and when she does I don't want you to be alone wondering what if? I don't want you to think I'm pushing you to do something your not ready to do. That's not what this is about. It's about me being your friend and as a friend I say you should get ready. This is the beginning of the rest of your life, your life without him."

_Ugh! Maybe she has a point. She does have a point._

"Okay fine! One date won't hurt but under one condition?" I stated.

She jumped up and down grinning from ear to ear, "Sure anything."

"You never talk to my kid about your relationship ever again."

"Deal."

So for the first time in seven years I had landed a date thanks to Leah. I had better keep my switchblade on standby. I was sure I'd end up in a bar surrounded by drunken men with my luck. 


	4. Chapter three Memories

******Rating:** R

**Content Warning:** This chapter may include adult themes, concepts and language.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Twilight Saga, etc. etc. etc., you know the spiel.

**Author's Note:** Thanks to my Beta, RockSteady54 for all the work she's done and thanks to all my readers for continuing to support my story. I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
**Beta's Note:** Quick note here, I just want to say so sorry for the delay in posting this chapter, it's totally my fault; Donni is wonderful though because she's so patient and didn't kick my ass, she's forgiven me so that's all that matters! Lol Enjoy!

**Beta:** RockSteady54

**Chapter Three – Memories**

Death.

What does it truly mean to die? Someone told me once that the dead never stay dead. They told me that the spirit of the dead will come back to haunt you. I found that is true, however the living can haunt as well; making you feel small, as if you never existed at all. When you die you become dead to the world and everyone you have ever known. The seasons change and time disappears. Where does the time go? The time stays with you along with the memories made within that time. You are left with nothing but the memories of what use to be. You are haunted with the thoughts of what is to come, with the thoughts of what they will become without you.

The pain of knowing makes your insides rot and incinerates your heart to ash. The wounds never heal themselves. The internal pain never subsides. The physical pain I feel has nothing on the mental pain. To hear the screams and to see the blood tears me apart. With every moment that passes another memory is made. It's a memory you get to see but a memory without you. I never knew memories could be painful until I had to remember them and plead with my mind to look away. I watched her change because of me. The smile was gone. The light was gone. She faded along with me and because of me, she died.

So what does it mean to die? What does death mean to the world? It means nothing. The seasons change and time flies. You watch the change and you learn to deal with it. Everyone gets to heal. Everyone gets to grow; everyone except me. They all get to continue to hope. They get to wish and wonder whatever became of the person that they once loved. But I have the knowledge; the knowledge of knowing what happened to me and the guilt of knowing I took the light that existed in her world with me.

**The Beginning**

_"Dad! Stop please," I heard Bella yell. Her voice was full of frustration. "I have decided."_

"We talked about this Bella. What changed?" Charlie asked. "This scholarship means everything. It's your one chance to get out of this place. I thought you wanted more than to be stuck here."

Bella blew out an angry breath, "I did dad…but I can't go away to school."

"Help me to understand what changed? Just a few weeks ago you needed this more than the air you breathe. We have wracked our brains for the last two months awaiting this letter. Is this about Jacob?" He asked.

I did not want to be the reason she turned down the scholarship. If anything, I had been pushing her to take it. I had been pushing her to get the hell out of forks. Bella was talented. She was far more talented than I was. Even if I bared talents I would never get to do anything with them. I had the tribe and the pack to protect. I would never get out of this place but Bella could and she would. I would make sure of it. She deserved so much more than I could give her. But I could never bring myself to tell her that. She would only say, 'Jake you give me everything just by loving me.' Then she would bat her long eyelashes and just like that the world would fade. I would forget what I was saying and then everything would be perfect again even though it was never perfect.

My thoughts came to a halt once I heard Bella's voice again.

"Dad I love him. What part of that don't you understand?"

"I get it Bella. You know that I know how much you love him. Jake is like a son to me but I am thinking about what's best for my daughter right now."

"Charlie please, I don't want to talk about this."

"Bella please," Charlie continued. "Please tell me why you want to turn down this scholarship? Jake would understand if you chose to leave, he has said so himself."

"This is not about Jake," she yelled. I could hear the tears in her voice. "Dad I can't leave."

"Why? You have worked so hard for this Bella. You have worked so hard and you deserve this, don't you get that?"

Bella was silent; she was hardly the silent type so this wasn't a good sign. I knew for a fact that Bella was a great debater. She would argue and argue until she made you see that she was right. I love that about her. I loved how strong minded she was. But silence from Bella was not a good thing.

"He's my husband," she said.

It felt good to hear her refer to me as that.

"Do you two even know what it means to be husband and wife Bella?" Charlie asked angrily

"And you do?" Bella protested. "Your marriage failed so I'm not going to take advice on marriage from you."

"Fine," Charlie said defeated.

I felt bad that she had thrown the past in Charlie's face like that. But I had no voice in this argument. After all I was eavesdropping. I know that I should have made my presence known a long time ago but I wanted to know just as much as Charlie why Bella had a change of heart. Her mind was made up on taking that scholarship a few weeks ago.

"Dad I'm sorry," Bella said in a whisper. "I'm sorry for failing you as a daughter. I'm sorry I can't do the right thing and leave. I want to take the scholarship. I want that more than anything in this world. My future has always been a priority to me but so is Jake. I can't leave him... not right now anyway."

"What do you mean? Bella is there something that you want to share with me? You can tell me anything you know that right?"

"I know dad. I know," she said. "Actually there is…"

There was a long deathly pause; the pause was so long and frustrating that even I let out a sigh of annoyance. Bella finally spoke again, "Dad I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant as in Jacob and I are having a child pregnant," Bella said.

After that last sentence left her lips Charlie flew off the handle.

"A baby Isabella Swan, you and Jacob are practically kids still!" Charlie yelled. "I swear I will shoot him dead. You don't have to live this life Bella. You are not obligated to go through with this."

"Are you suggesting I get an abortion?" she asked mortified. "If you are, then I should just leave right now dad. I am not going to kill the precious life that Jake and I created. Maybe the timing is a little off but it was bound to happen sooner or later."

"Not right now," Charlie insisted. "You were going to go away to college and be successful. You were going to get the hell out of this place and make something of yourself."

"Charlie please…who says that I can't be successful in Forks? That my destiny is not to just be with Jake and have a family with him."

Charlie yelled, "That's not who you are Bella!"

"No dad, that is not who you want me to be. Jake is the most important person in my life right now. I don't care about anything else. You can call me young and naïve but I'm not going to give up the only real thing in my life for an opportunity that may or may not happen."

"Bella you are going to waste away here. Twenty years down the road you are going to wonder what could have happened if you had left. You can still make that decision. It's not too late."

"Dad if I leave, twenty years from now I will end up where I started …alone, lost, and afraid. But most importantly, I will be without the two things that are important to me; Jacob and our child."

Charlie fell silent. He knew arguing with her was pointless. She had made up her mind and there was no changing it once she made the decision. I never wanted to come in-between her and her happiness but a small smile spread across my face knowing that she'd always choose me, that I was number one in her book as she was in mine.

I heard Charlie speak again; he had calmed himself a lot in a short period of time.

"Does Jacob know?" he asked. "What's the game plan?"

"Dad this is not a football game. There are no plays or a game plan."

"I know that," Charlie hissed. "Bare with me…at least I am attempting to be calm and not go down to La Push and murder Billy's boy. That would put a real strain on our friendship."

I heard a light chuckle from Bella that ended shortly after, "No but I'm going to tell him soon."

I stood there on the front porch completely dumbfounded after taking in all the information I had just overheard. The weight of the world was now on my shoulders. Bella was pregnant. I wanted to run inside and cradle her in my arms. I was going to be a father. Daddy Jacob; I loved the sound of that. Maybe it would be a boy or maybe a girl; she would be my little angel. I would protect her. She would be bright eyed and smell of cherry blossoms like Bella. I'd kill any guy who came close to her. I would hug her every second of everyday. I hoped it was a girl; a beautiful baby girl.

But then the reality of it all hit me leaving a huge knot in my throat. It was worse than eating Leah's cooking. Bella was pregnant. There would be no scholarship, she would not leave forks. Her future was changing right before my eyes. Suddenly I felt as if time had frozen. Her life had frozen right before me. Everything turned grey. I felt the tears forming in my eyes. I was fucking up her life, because of me she was going give up everything she wanted and worked so hard for.

I raised my hand hesitantly and knocked on the screen door. Everything got really quiet inside and I heard Bella whisper, "We will talk later."

I swallowed back the lump and took a deep breath. She appeared in the doorway with a strained smile on her face. She looked as if she would break down at any minute. I smiled lightly keeping my emotions under wraps. I didn't want her to know I heard the conversation that had taken place. She would talk to me about it when the time was right.

Bella opened the door and closed the distance between us by wrapping her arms around my neck. She squeezed tightly as I pulled her from the doorway, hoisting her up in my arms. She wrapped her legs around my waist and buried her face in the crook of my neck.

Bella moaned slightly and gripped tighter onto me, making me chuckle.

"Jake?" she asked.

My stomach muscles tightened at the thought of what she would say next," Yeah babe?"

"You smell so good."

I smiled as her body slid down from mine. Bella pushed her loose strands of hair from her face and smiled warmly at me. My eyes shifted to what she was wearing; to any normal person all she was wearing was jeans and a tee shirt but to me she was wearing clothes that almost looked painted onto her beautiful curves.

Her jeans were low rise but not too low to expose anything except her midriff and a small section of skin from her lower back. She wore a tan striped shirt with buttons leaving two buttons opened at the top to expose her breasts enough that showed they were voluptuous and perfect.

Normally I was able to control my thoughts of how sexy she was but not today. She was literally glowing. Bella grabbed my hand and led me towards the steps leading back to the driveway. I watched her sexy walk admiring the two dimples at her lower back. God she was such a turn on. It did not matter what she was doing because everything she did was just sexy. I paused for a moment and watched her straddle my bike.

"You know sometimes I think you are made to straddle things," I said as I smirked at her.

"Not everything," she chimed. "But I do love to straddle things from time to time."

I laughed making my way over to help her with her helmet.

"So what did you do today?" she asked.

"Avoided Billy by going to the gym and working up a sweat; I have been there all morning."

Bella smiled, "Mmm you and a gym. That sounds…"

"Are you being a pervert right now?" I mused. "I kind of like it," we both laughed as Bella swatted my arm playfully.

I got on the bike as Bella wrapped her arms around my waist. It was not at all distracting until I felt her hands moving lower playing with the zipper of my pants. I sighed, sucking in a deep breath and steadied myself.

"You know Jake, I really love you," she whispered leaning her head against my back.

I smiled, "I really, really, really love you too Mrs. Black. Hold on okay?"

".…as if my life depends on it," she squeezed her arms around my waist tighter.

The ride to La Push was quick. Bella was relaxed as she gripped my body firmly. She was very quiet. It did not bother me though because I knew why. When we reached our house I helped her off the bike as she removed the helmet. She shook her brunette locks until her hair was back to normal framing her face. Wrapping my arms around her I pulled her to me quickly and peppered kisses on the outline of her jaw.

"Jake," she whined. "Jacob," she moaned slightly closing her eyes as I brought my lips to skim her neck, sucking and nipping while biting her soft skin between my teeth. My hands roamed freely down her sides and rested at the back of her thighs, forcing her up as her body leaned against my bike. My lips found hers with such intensity and so much passion that my entire being nearly shook. My head was spinning from so much heat that it was making me weak. I gripped tighter onto her waist, pulling her closer to me.

"Oh Jake," she said breathlessly. "We um…stop, have to stop... shit."

Her sentences were anything but coherent. I didn't want to stop and neither did she. I pulled away slightly. Her legs were still wrapped around my waist as she panted uncontrollably while trying to catch her breath. I stared at her for a long moment as she smiled pressing herself to me again.

"Will you two get a room," I heard a voice from behind me say.

I sighed and turned slightly to see Sam. He waved and continued his stride. At that moment a light bulb went off in my head.

"Hey Sam we need to talk," I yelled in his direction.

"Sure thing Jake what's up?"

I stepped away from Bella, "I'll come by later. Now is not a good time."

He nodded as he turned away to walk back into the forest. And with that I turned back to Bella and picked her up and made my way over to the front porch. Bella smiled sweetly at me, "Why were you avoiding Billy?" she asked.

"Oh um, he's been really weird these days. It's like I don't know who the hell he is anymore. He's been obsessing over what he calls 'dark magic'."

"Dark magic?" she asked.

I turned the keys to the door opening it and stepped through the doorway.

"Yeah, dark magic," I shrugged.

"Should I be worried?" Bella asked. "I mean Billy is always you know…Billy."

"Yeah well, he keeps saying that we need to talk. I'm not sure that I know what it is about but he's been freaking me out lately...always talking in riddles and um…he's been going out."

"Going out?" Her brows furrowed in confusion.

"Yeah, as in going out; I don't know where or even who is taking him out but he has definitely been creeping out."

Bella smiled, "Maybe Billy is seeing someone?"

"I don't know Bells. If he were seeing someone he'd be like me every time I have sex with you...all goofy happy and what not."

She chuckled, "Well I am sure Billy is fine."

I made my way up the stairs quickly and down the hallway until we were in our room, closing and locking the door behind us. I placed Bella on the bed.

"So what is this dark magic you're talking about exactly?" she asked.

I turned to her slightly as I removed my shirt, "Don't know…I will talk to Sam about it later. All I know is that right now my sexy wife is in my bed and all I want to do is make love to her."

Bella blushed, "I have a surprise."

I smiled and made my way over to her, "What?"

She positioned herself on her knees and turned so that her back was facing me, "Bells honey that's not much of a surprise since I've seen you in that position quite a few times but it is such a turn on," I said as I gripped her waist pulling her back towards me.

Bella unbuttoned her pants and slide them down. There was a tattoo above her ass on the right side. I smiled as I traced the outline of it, it read '**Jacob**' and engraved under my name on her skin was the date 08/20/03, the day we married along with a Quileute tribal design around it.

"So what do you think?" she asked gazing back at me through her long thick lashes.

In one swift motion Bella was on her back. She laughed, "I guess you like it."

"I love it," I corrected.

My lips captured hers as I nipped and sucked on her bottom lip just the way she liked. Our tongues intertwined as she lifted her hands to my hair, moaning into my mouth. I could smell what I was doing to her. It was the most beautiful scent in the world. I pulled away slightly leaving her breathless as I ripped her clothes off quickly. I was sure her wardrobe was suffering because of me but we both were pretty hands on and anything but patient. I assaulted her body running my tongue languidly all over her beautiful milky flesh; loving her entire being with it.

Bella moaned loudly as I got closer to where she wanted me. My own arousal was getting the best of me but I needed to pleasure her first. I needed to taste her.

"Oh my god," she moaned. "Please..."

"Please what?" I whispered against her delicate flushed skin.

"Please just make love to me," she said in an inpatient voice. "I want you inside of me. All of you."

God she was just so beautiful, so right for me; all mine. I moved up to kiss her soft, plump, pink lips again.

That was when I heard it; the same voice that had been stealing the calmness of my nights, leaving me to awake panting and afraid.

I paused while I quickly lifted my head, gazing around the room.

There was a little girl in the corner of the bedroom. I blinked my eyes a few times to be sure that this was not some random hallucination. The child had no face. Then the screams abruptly started.

They were inhumane deathly screams that were making it hard for me to breathe; I closed my eyes tightly and gripped tighter onto Bella wrapping my arms around her waist as I rested my head on her stomach. My insides were rattled as I buried my face into her. Bella gripped tighter onto me.

I could hear her voice softly but the violent and relentless fear was radiating over her voice; the disturbing screams from the child that appeared in the room disappeared as quickly as they came. The girl had vanished but the fear within me had not. I was gripping onto the sanity in this room for my dear life. I was afraid to let her go. I was afraid to come up for air let alone open my eyes.

"Jake," Bella said worried. "Jake, sweetie; open your eyes," She whispered as she smoothed her hands over my hair.

I pulled away from her slightly and opened my eyes. Bella was staring down at me with tear filled eyes. My heart fluttered in an unpleasant manner as she lifted my face and kissed me sweetly.

"Babe what's wrong?" she asked panicked. "And don't say 'nothing'. Talk to me Jake."

"I can't."

"You can talk to me about anything. This is what I am here for. Did you hear yourself Jacob? You were screaming and begging for me to make it stop. What do you want me to make stop Jake?"

"Nothing," I lied. I got up from the bed and grabbed a towel.

"Okay fine. Go and run to Sam about it," she said rolling her eyes.

"Bella it's not like that," I pleaded.

"Yeah sure, all that I know is that my husband would rather talk to Sam instead of me. So just go because we both know that's what you're going to do."

I walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower. After about 10 minutes I came back into the room and found Bella asleep. I walked downstairs and out to the front porch.

There was no way I would talk to Sam about this. The only person who would believe me was my dad. A few hours passed until finally Billy had come home. I sat in the living room with my head in my hands as I heard the front door open and close. Gazing up I saw it was my dad; he was staring at me emotionless.

"I take it you are ready to talk now," he said.

"Yeah," I sighed.

"Son, I don't know how to tell you this..."

"Just tell me whether or not you know what is going on with me."

"It's not just you Jacob. It's all of us. Every one of us is doomed."

"The pack?" I asked confused. "The tribe?"

"No Jacob. The Black's; think about it Jacob. No one in this family has a life that they want. Look at Rebecca, Rachel, and look at me. Jacob, the things in life that we cannot change are not due to our faults nor do we have any control over them. It's all due to Ephraim Black."

"Dad what are you talking about?" I asked "I don't have time for you to get all insane on me with bullshit."

"Is that what you think?" He raised his voice. "That I am just an insane, always talking nonsense, miserable old man in a wheelchair? Jacob, this family is cursed and don't think for a second that the curse has skipped you. You are fading away Jacob and once you fade you are never coming back. I've tried everything that I could." The tears were streaming down his face now. "I tried to find a witch who could undo what was done but it's been impossible."

"Dad have you been drinking?" I was beginning to think he really was a crazy old man.

My dad came closer and handed me a small tattered brown leather book. It was my great great-grandfather's journal.

"Everything that you need to know is in there."

* * *

__

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

**You have one new voicemail.**

**"Hey Jake it's me Bella. It's been a week and I haven't heard from you since the day you unexpectedly left, I am literally going insane. Baby, please call me back…I'm really worried. I love you Jake."**

Saturday

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

**You have one new voicemail.**

**"Jacob Ephraim Black! I will see you at five o'clock this evening. You had better be home this time or we are done, I'm not playing around!"**

* * *

__

I was in the garage when Bella arrived home. Neglecting her was a wrong thing to do but I could not make up my mind on what decision I would make. Reading that journal took a lot of time and I was really in a bad place now. Being away from Bella was hard but I could not let her see me like this. The voices in my head had worsened but the nights were even more horrible and to the point of unbearable now. Bella still had not told me she was pregnant but I had a feeling she was going to today.

"Jake we need to talk," she stated.

I looked up from the hood of the car and smiled at her. I was not sure how much longer I could avoid the conversation. It's been a few days since I overheard the conversation between Bella and Charlie. It's been two weeks since Billy spoke of the curse. Keeping up this act is hard. It's hard to tune out the screams in my head and pretend to be normal. I started to see things a few weeks ago. At first it was small things in my dreams but lately my dreams have been with me when awake. My plan was to tell her and to enjoy the little time we had left but I could not do that now. I could not do that knowing that she was pregnant and planned to keep the baby.

I wanted her to keep it but that would be selfish of me. It would be selfish because she got the scholarship to attend UCLA. It was all she ever talked about in the past year. The long distance would be hard but there was never going to be another Bella in my life. She is my imprint and we would have managed somehow. But that was before the circumstances changed. I could not leave her to raise our child on her own. My decision to talk to her about this had changed. This was something I could not discuss with Bella. Knowing her, she would try to find the good in this but there was none.

My plan changed drastically. She could not keep this baby. She had to go and be happy without me. There was only one way to force her to that.

I wiped my hands on a moist towel and stood up straight. Bella stood there fidgeting with her fingers as she stared at the floor. She was nervous. She had every reason to be with the reaction I was going to force to give her. I did not want to break her heart but I had no choice. Over time a broken heart will mend; she's living proof of that. She did it once, she could do it again. I had more faith than I probably should have.

"Bells," I said caressing her face with my hands. "Talk to me."

She smiled warmly, "I have something important to tell you."

"Which is?" I asked pulling away.

"Well, um…Jake I-I'm…pregnant," she stammered.

I sighed; using all of my might to keep my guard up. I really wanted to take her into my arms and kiss her over and over again. But I knew that was the last thing I was going to do. I walked away from her and headed towards the mini refrigerator to grab a drink.

"So what do you want to do today?" I deflected the conversation.

I could feel her eyes burning a hole through my back as I turned around to face her. Her stare was cold and hard as she placed her hands in the pockets of her hoodie.

"So that's it?" she asked sternly. "I tell you that I am pregnant and then you just change the subject like it means nothing?"

"Well what do you want me to say Bells?" I asked in an unsympathetic tone.

"Something….anything, I just told you that we are having a child for Christ sakes!"

"I can't because I don't want to hurt you," I shrugged as I took a drink from the soda I had opened.

She walked closer to me, "Why would you be hurting me?"

"I don't want it," I said bluntly.

"It…what; y-you don't want it?" she asked confused, the tears started to pool in her eyes. "It's a baby Jake not a thing and what do you mean you don't want it?" Bella began to raise her voice.

I walked away from her and towards the door to exit the garage. She hated when I ignored her and walked away. I knew that so that's was why I did it. It would make the argument bigger.

"Jacob Black," she yelled chasing behind me. "Where are you going?"

"Home; are you coming?" I asked as if nothing life altering was occurring here.

Bella grabbed my arm until I turned to face her, "You don't want this baby?" she asked again with tears flowing down her beautiful face.

I want it Bella. God I love this baby already. That was what I wanted to tell her but I could not do it. I was going to die. Not completely but my life on this god forsaken earth was coming to an end. I kept that to myself when I found out. I made Billy promise to keep it to himself. It would be easier for everyone if I just ran off. At least they could hope that one day I would return.

"I don't want it," I stated again.

"So…you wanted to have sex without condoms but you don't want the consequences or responsibility of that? We ran off and got married Jacob, I am your wife," she said flashing her ring. "You knew this was bound to happen, we always planned on having a family. What's wrong with you? You disappear for two fucking weeks then you come back acting like an asshole?"

"I don't want that day to be anytime this year or next year Bella. I don't want a kid," I said storming off.

Of course she followed me. Maybe she knew I was lying. Bella followed me up the hill and onto the porch.

I picked up my pace but I knew she was right behind me.

"Jacob," she yelled.

I made my way towards the steps as the door slammed and echoed throughout the entire house.

"Don't walk away from this or me Jacob!" she yelled.

I could hear the anger and fear in her voice. My heart was shredding into a millions pieces. I could feel it in my chest. I was close. So close to fading from her life and leaving everyone behind. I hated to leave her wondering if I ever loved her or even cared but that was the only way to make her see that an abortion would help fix her life. I didn't want to leave her but this was not my choice and staying here to raise a baby was not an option for me, it was an option that wasn't given to me.

I felt her hand on my arm again. I stopped and slowly turned to face her. The tears streaming down her cheeks made me want to fall to my knees and tell her just how sorry I was. God I was so sorry for fucking up her life, for breaking her heart, for existing. I sighed and tried not to meet her gaze too much; knowing I would crack under it.

"Bella I'm not ready," I lied.

That was a lie, such a fucking lie. I didn't want any of this shit that I had been cursed with. All I wanted was her and the life we created growing inside of her.

I could see the spirits filling the room. I was losing my damn mind. They were everywhere, calling my name. I tried not to look terrified but I was. My life was leading me straight to hell. I was sure of it. I closed my eyes tightly hoping the spirits would fade but I knew they wouldn't.

I left Bella alone and broken.

They were waiting for me. They were going to haunt me until I took my last breath and they did.

Taking my last breath was easy. But living in the shadows afterwards was the most difficult. It's harder than you could ever imagine. I wish it would have been easy for me to not care and ignore the fact that I was able to watch every moment of their life. But I could not; my thoughts of Bella still haunted me in the afterlife, if that is what you would call this place.

The place on the border line of life and death; it's dark and cold. But the worst part is that I got to watch. I got to watch her entire life play out. No one could see me but I was there. Every day I was there watching helplessly as Bella suffered.

She didn't get an abortion like I had hoped so that she could have had an easier life. Even Charlie wasn't able to talk her into it. She spent her days locked in her room almost comatose; staring into nothingness. Bella got rid of anything connected to the outside world and pushed away all our friends. She never shed a single tear though.

When I was able to bear it, I would sit and watch her for hours. I was only a spirit though. She could not see me. But every now and then she would look in my direction. Maybe she could feel my presence but in that same instance she would look away and keep her lethargic demeanor.  
Every day was a reminder of the life growing inside of her as her belly grew beautifully round. Bella did speak to the baby all the time but never about me. I guess that was something I shouldn't have expected to be different. All of the pictures of us were gone; her room was nearly empty.

I felt defeated every time I visited her. I should have told her. I would have if I had known that she was going to choose this life. I regretted the decision I had made not to be honest with her. She turned down her scholarship and the chance of getting out of this place. Bella did that selflessly for our child; the beautiful baby that I would never know. The baby I would be forced to see grow up without their father.

Bella was the most beautiful creature I had ever set my eyes on, even more so when her belly swelled as she carried _my_ child.

Charlie finally convinced Bella to find out the sex of the baby during her sixth month; it was a girl. Then soon after Bella picked out a name for our baby, she named her Jade Emilia Black.

I loved the name she chose for our child; it was nearly identical to mine. Now I was convinced that Bella did think of me often even though she never uttered my name; neither did anyone else.

I guess that was the only way to avoid the painful memories of me, to remove the pain I caused; act as if I never existed at all. Every one of my pack brothers didn't mention me nor did my own dad. I notice no one called Bella 'Bells' anymore. That made me angry but I had no right to be. There was not a damn thing I could do about that now.

Bella didn't want anything to do with the baby shower the pack tried throwing for her in the last month of her pregnancy.

The night she went into labor with Jade, I was there. I watched as Bella tried not to panic and keep her calm and she scurried around the house to find her things. She was always trying to be independent. If I was human I could have helped her even though I was sure she would refuse my help in doing the little things.

She called Charlie who had a huge grin on his face when he arrived to the house to take her to the hospital. Over time he had warmed up to the idea of Bella being a mother and he a granddad. Jade was already his little princess.

Sam, Emily, and the entire pack were present at the hospital. My dad was there as well. I was happy that they were there for her. Leah never left Bella's side. Bella wanted her in the delivery room and Leah held the video camera and got the whole birth on tape.

Bella bitched about everything and cried a lot; not once though did she ever speak about me or even mention my name.

I watched in awe as Bella went through the labor and delivery process.

Jade was stunningly gorgeous like her mother. Every sweat and tear Bella shed was worth the gift presented at the end when the doctor placed Jade in Bella's arms.

I stood over them but no one was able to see me. Bella cradled Jade in her arms gazing into our precious daughter's eyes as she wept tears of joy; everyone was present in the room with them once the baby was delivered.

Charlie had phoned Renée soon after; Bella and Renée had not spoken much. She thought Bella had ruined her own life by having a child.

The tears formed in my eyes as I watched Bella kiss Jade gently on her nose. I wanted to do that. I needed to kiss her too.

This was the worst part of the curse of the spirit wolf. I get to watch everything and I get to feel everything.

Just as I was turning to leave, baby Jade opened her eyes slightly; whether it was just reflexes to get her eyes adjusted to the light in the room, she seemed to be staring directly at me. Could she see me? I leaned in to kiss her knowing that I would not feel it and neither would she but to my surprise I did. I felt the soft skin of her warm delicate cheek on my lips.

I smiled sadly. "I love you," I whispered. "But you know that don't you?"

She closed her eyes again after I spoke. Bella looked up and even though she would never know she was staring into my eyes. She could feel me here I knew it. She was my imprint. I knew she could feel my presence.

She sighed and turned away and began talking to Leah. Leah took the baby in her arms and cradled her; forming her own bond with my daughter.

Bella rolled over onto her side and curled up into a ball. I saw the tears form but this time they were out of sorrow. Finally she had begun to cry. I could not bear witness to the anguish I caused in her. I headed back to the shadow realm. That place had become my reality.

My old life was merely a dream.


	5. Chapter four Bleed the pain

**Rated: NC-17**

Forewarning: This chapter includes content regarding deliberate self-harm which is defined as the intentional, direct injuring of body tissue without suicidal intent.

Beta: RockSteady54

**A/N**: Hey Guys this is a quick apology for the delay:) sorry. This chapter also introduces two new characters who play a huge part in this story. Anyways let's be done with already. Enjoy!

**Chapter Four- Bleed the Pain**

**B.P.O.V.**  
I arrived at Charlie's. Inside I found Jade jumping up and down on the couch. She had my brush in one of her small hands and the radio was radiating loudly off the walls throughout the entire house. I smiled, sitting the bags on the floor. Her voice remained soft as she sang the words along with the song.

My little superstar was singing and bouncing up and down on the couch in her footed  
pajamas.

She waved at me, gesturing for me to come towards her. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. I hated ponytails but the infamous Charlie disobeyed me once again. He was sure to hear of this later.

**It might be crazy**

Have I told you lately that I love you

You're the only reason I am not afraid to fly

And it's crazy that someone could change me

But no matter what it is I have to do I'm not afraid to try

And you need to know that you're the reason why

Jade abruptly stopped singing and yelled, "Mommy, mommy sing with me please! I will share my brush with you. Hurry momma, your part is coming!"

She giggled lightly as I walked over to her. Her smile was gorgeous. She reached out to me holding the brush to my lips as I mouthed the words to the song.

**If it was raining you would yell at the sun**

Pick up the pieces when the damage is done

You say it's just another day in the shade

Look at what a mess we made…  


We sung in unison. Jade jumped into my arms holding steadfast onto me. I held her tight in my arms.

The gleam in her eyes was breathtaking.. This was definitely the best part about being a mom. I was blessed enough to come home to Jade. Unpredictable Jade with the heart of gold and a smile that could make your heart melt.

**It might be crazy**

Have I told you lately that I love you

You're the only reason I am not afraid to fly

And it's crazy that someone could change me

But no matter what it is I have to do I'm not afraid to try

And you need to know that you're the reason why

The song finally came to an end; Jade buried her face in my hair playfully inhaling my scent and squeezed me tightly. I chuckled, "Where is grandpa?"

She pulled away slightly, "Cutting my sandwich into tiny hearts."

"Hearts?" I asked playfully in a confused tone.

"Yes. Grandpa Charlie said he could do anything. So I asked if that included cutting my peanut butter and jelly sandwich into tiny hearts and he said yes. I think we should check to make sure he's alright."

I smiled, "Yes. We should."

I made my way into the kitchen with Jade still in my arms. Charlie sat at the table concentrating on the sandwich in front of him. A trash can was next to him full of sandwich bits. It seemed his attempts were unsuccessful. I chuckled. At the sound of my voice his head shot up in my direction.

"Dad what are you doing?"

"I'm making hearts."

"You are failing miserably."

Jade smiled placing her head on my shoulder.

"Bella, I am on a mission here."

"A mission to starve my daughter? Charlie, we understand if you can't do it."

Jade piped up. "Yes grandpa, everyone can't be gifted like Grandpa Billy is at making sandwiches."

Charlie smirked. "Uh huh. So you think Billy is a better sandwich maker?"

Jade nodded. "He makes them in different shapes whenever I ask him.."

"Show off. "Charlie muttered.

I sat Jade down at the table. She took the sandwich Charlie had massacred and started eating. I walked over to the cubbard to grab a cup.

"So Bella how was your shopping date with Leah?" Charlie asked.

I poured myself a drink and joined them at the table. " It went well but I sort of allowed Leah to talk me into a date."

Charlie's eyes widened in shock. Then a huge smile spread across his face. "A date as in 'a date with a guy'?" he questioned.

I nodded nervously, "Yeah, he's a friend of Leah's boyfriend from the Makah Rez."

Jade gazed over at me curiously, "Mom what do you do on dates? Do you make-out?"

I choked on my soda. Charlie patted me on the back until I was able to breathe again.

"Where did you hear that?" I wondered. "Let me guess, Aunt Leah?"

Jade shook her head. "Actually, Uncle Jared and Uncle Paul were talking about Uncle Seth's date. Apparently, he is terrible at making out," Jade stated. "Momma what is making out?" She asked curiously.

Charlie interrupted. "Bella those boys had better learn to discuss something appropriate when my angel is around."

I smirked. "Sweetie, making out is something grown-ups do. When you are older, momma will explain it to you."

"Okay."

"Dad, do you mind keeping an eye on Jade ?" I asked. "I really don't want to take her to Emily's right now. I know that Sam would not mind Jade staying over but it's already getting late and I have to get ready for my date."

"Sure thing kiddo. I am dying to watch 'Barbie Swan Princess' again," Charlie said sarcastically.

I chuckled, "Take it easy on my 's mommy's beautiful princess."

"Do I get a tiara?" She smiled.

"Yes, you do sweetheart."

"Where is this princess from? I need a palace now momma."

I thought for a long moment.

"You are princess Jade of La Push."

"Really?"

"Yup," I nodded. "Do you want to help momma get ready for her date that she has in an hour?"

"Yes."

Jade jumped into my arms. We kissed Charlie on the cheek and made our way upstairs. My old room looked like a hurricane had been through there . I had totally forgot that Jade took over it when we moved out. I had no clue Charlie had been buying her all of this stuff. There were cars, doll houses,babies and strollers strewn all over the floor. My room looked like a mini Toys-R-Us.

Jade hopped out of my arms and onto the bed.

"Is grandpa in trouble?" She asked.

I smiled. "How could you tell?"

"You have that look on your face. Don't be hard on him okay? It was all my fault. I talked him into buying these things."

"You? Jade I don't believe it," I snorted.

"Really! I did. All I have to do is say 'Grandpa Billy did something' and then Grandpa Charlie tries to do something better," she shrugged. "I'm sorry momma. Please don't yell at him."

I sat down next to her. "I will not yell at him for buying all of these things for you but only under one condition."

She beamed at me and nodded her head quickly. "Anything."

"While I was out with Aunt Leah she mentioned that you wanted to talk to her about something important. "

Jade began fidgeting with her shirt and stared at the floor. "I don't want to upset you," she whispered.

I gently lifted Jade's face in-between my hands to look at me. The tears were filling her eyes.

Whenever Jade cried I reacted the same. If she was in pain I felt it. The anxiety washed over me as the silence filled the room. I needed to know what was bothering her. I desperately wanted to know what she wanted to discuss with Leah. She glanced away from me and sighed.

"See I'm upsetting you. I'm so sorry," she began to cry.

I stood to my feet and knelt down in front of her.

"Jade, look at me please."

She gazed into my eyes for a moment as the tears fell quietly.

"You're not hurting me sweetheart. My pain is not your fault. Anything you want to know you  
can can talk to me about anything."

"I know," she whimpered.

"Then talk to me honey. Why are you crying?"

"Because we are alone..."

"Sweetheart, we are surrounded by family every single day ."

"But it's not the same is it?" she asked. "Go ahead momma, you can talk to me about anything."

I stood to my feet and began to pace back and forth. Jade watched me for a moment until I stopped and knelt down in front of her again. "It's not the same. You're right."

"Can I ask another question?" she asked.

"Of course," I said as I wiped my tears away. "You can ask as many questions as you like."

"Can you tell me about him please?"

I inhaled deeply and exhaled. I joined her back on the bed. Jade placed her tiny hands in mine. The tears tracks were evident on her cheeks. This conversation was bound to come up. I could not tell her what I thought of him based on the last moments he and I shared. No, I had to tell her what I thought of him before all of this occurred. The pain had already begun inside of my chest. It hurt more than it should after seven years and more than she would ever know. Jade is everything to me.

The pain seared my heart at the mere thought of Jacob's name. But I would endure it for her.

"Jake."

The name seemed to echo throughout the room. There was an urge to clutch my chest but I ignored it. I had to be strong; whenever I became distressed, Jade panicked.

"I had known your dad most of my life. Somehow, I knew we would end up together," I inhaled deeply before continuing.

"He was very sweet. He loved the outdoors as much as you do. You look exactly like him, so much like him that it scares me sometimes. I see more of him in you than I do myself. He was wise. It felt as if I were speaking to someone who had lived in a previous life. But there were times that he acted like a two year old; he was so stubborn . But he was strong and a leader. Your dad had a great responsibility to the tribe and he made very important decisions. He always included and spoke to me about everything."

Not everything Bella.

I paused once more. "Your father was my best friend. I trusted him with my heart. I dedicated my life to him because I loved him. It was a different kind of love. The love we shared should have lasted a lifetime."

Jade sighed. "I just have one last question momma."

I nodded.

"Did he love me?"

I had to answer that question carefully. I could not hurt her in the way that he hurt me. Jake told me that he did not want her the day that he disappeared.

"I'm sure that if he had a chance to meet you, he would love you and never leave your side."

"He left us alone. That means that he did not love me."

"Honey, we are not alone."

"Momma, we are alone. All of my friends have parents, brothers, and sisters. I only have a mom."

I squeezed her hand and dimly smiled. "Honey your dad loved you. I know that he did. As far as brothers and sisters," I grimaced. "That is another story."

"But I want one. Maybe we could order one?" She smiled sweetly looking up at me.

I laughed.

_Order one? if only it were that simple._

"How about we look into that tomorrow?"

"Okay…"

"Let's nap now. I only have about 30 minutes until your Aunt Leah comes and becomes a royal pain in my -,"

"Language," Jade chimed.

"Sorry," I said.

I slid up in the bed and Jade followed. She curled into my side and placed her head onto my chest. I twirled one of her loose curls around my fingers.

"One last thing?" She piped up.

"Alright."

Jade furrowed her brows. "Where did he go?"

"I wish I could answer your question, Jade. But I honestly don't know."

"Will he ever come back?"

"I don't know, honey. "

"Okay," she muttered.

I held her in my arms until she drifted into a deep slumber. If only it were that simple for me. I wish our conversation did not flood me with so much anxiety. There was no way I would be able to sleep peacefully. Jake was at the forefront of my mind. The tears began to brim around my eyes. It's been seven years and everyday the memory of him tortures my soul. The wounds are still fresh from the day he left .

_Why was it so easy for him to walk out on me?_

Maybe he was just sick of life altogether?

It was clear this was a life he did not want from the beginning now that I recall. I thought he had learned to accept his position with the tribe and pack but I guess I thought wrong.

_Maybe he did not love me after all?_

Maybe I was a burden to him?

Could it be that he was waiting for the perfect opportunity to start over?  


There were so many questions that had not been answered. I wanted the truth. When the love of your life walks out on you without any regard; it destroys you.

The truth is all I ever wanted. I deserved a phone call or a letter explaining why he left. That could have been his last futile attempt at doing the responsible thing.

I could not believe the bullshit he fed me before he disappeared. He left me bleeding on the floor with the horrible words he pierced me with. The sobbing nights seemed endless.

I removed myself from Jade and carefully slid off the bed. I did not want to wake her. I sat on the floor by the window pulling my knees to my chest.

I brought my right wrist to rest on my knee. I stared at the scars that were evident on my pale skin. I sighed. I traced my finger over the raised skin. I had promised Charlie never again.

But I need to do it. It numbs the pain. It is the only way I know how to cope. The desperation still lingers inside me to not feel the anguish. This is a release from all those emotions.

I stood to my feet. I moved swiftly to the wooden dresser of my old room and began to search the junk drawer.

It has to be here somewhere.

After a few minutes I found what I was looking for. As I turned to head out of my room the door opened and the light flicked on. Leah sat her bags on the floor. I quickly hid my hands behind my back; gently slipping the razor blade into my back pocket.

"Alright Bella it's time to -," she finally looked up into my eyes and her smile faded. Leah walked over to me and put her hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied.

"If you are not up for this date we can cancel it."

"Leah, I am going on this date."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to tell me why you are crying Bella?"

I sighed.

"I spoke to Jade. She wanted to talk about Jake..."

"I'm sorry, honey. Are you sure you are up for this date because I can postpone it if you are  
not ready."

I rolled my eyes. " Yes."

"Okay. We will talk about the conversation you had with my little angel later, right?" she  
asked.

"Yeah. Sure. Listen, I'm going to shower."

"Alright, but hurry up."

"Okay," I said while grabbing a towel and leaving the room quickly.

I went into the bathroom and locked the door. Quickly, I turned on the shower.

Bella you don't need to do this. There has to be another way to cope.

I took the blade from my back pocket and placed it on the sink. I removed my clothes and  
stood in front of the mirror. I stared at my naked reflection. I never saw much beauty there.

My eyes were red and puffy. I was not able to see the true me; who I was now. The person staring back at me was his Bells.

I thought I had rid myself of her but she was constantly there. Just like he was constantly present in everything I did. There was no escape from this.

I picked up the blade and held it to my right arm. The hard metal object had become my best friend over the years. My need for Jake had been replaced with the need of self-inflicted pain.

It had been a while since the sharp steel penetrated my delicate skin but I could never forget how good it felt to bleed out all the emotional torment.

I pressed harder and the blade punctured through my flesh. The exposed wound stung when it made contact with the air. I winced for a fraction of a second. That initial pain soon faded.

I allowed it to bleed until my body went numb. I watched the red droplets stained the sink. I wished for this moment to last forever. I could not go as far as I would have liked right now.

I eventually got in the shower.

Everything had become a blur. My brain didn't focus until I was in the comfort of my room. Jade was awake now. She was sitting on the bed while Leah was in the process of putting eye shadow on her.

I frowned at Leah, " That too much!"

"Sorry," she smiled.

"I promise to wash it off momma. I just wanted to see how I would look with the pretty  
eyeshadow."

I smiled and made my way over towards her. I sat down, "You are beautiful without it."

"So are you," she said kissing my nose and getting up from the bed.

"Okay are you ready to see your outfit?" Leah asked.

"Not really," I rolled my eyes.

Leah grabbed the bags. " Sure whatever. So Jeremy is taking you to a club tonight," she stated blatantly ignoring my crassness.

"A club?"

This night will be a disaster. Clubs are for dancing. Dancing and Bella are like oil and water. It does not mix.

"Yes, a club. I explained to him that you have not been on a date in a while so he wanted to make this exciting for you."

Exciting for me or him? I have an idea of what men and women do at a club for fun.

She held up a black strapless dress and red glittery pumps.I was sure I would fall and break my neck with those things.

I shook my head and she frowned.

"This is not the Wizard of Oz and I have no intentions of skipping down the yellow brick road."

Jade snickered. "Momma's allergic to dogs so Toto would not exist."

Leah laughed at Jade's comment and then quickly glared back at me. "Really? I thought momma had a thing for dogs?"

I nudged her and rolled my eyes.

_Smart ass. I had a thing for werewolves, not dogs._

"I happen to think that the shoes are sexy and they are in-style at the moment . Bella, you have not been out in years! I will be in charge tonight, alright?"

"Fine."

"Can I break the shoes in?" Jade chimed.

"Of course angel," Leah said placing the heels to the floor.

I would have loved to watch Jade prance around in them but I had to keep my eyes closed  
for make up, get my hair curled, and get the stupid dress on. Not to mention putting on the five pound earrings that Leah said made my eyes stand out . I'm not really sure how true that was but I was not going to object.

"Bella," Leah said. "What happened?"

"Huh?" I snapped the bracelet on my wrist and opened my eyes.

"Your wrist?" she asked pointing down at my hand. "It looks like a cut. Bella you haven't…"

"I cut myself shaving," I lied. "Don't worry. I would never do that to myself again," I quickly  
answered.

Her face was full of worry until I plastered a fake smile on my face. She bought it and let the subject go for the time being.

"Momma, are you going to make out?" Jade mused.

Leah laughed loudly.

"This is why I asked you not to talk to her about your relationship."

"Hey," Leah shouted shockingly. "I never said anything like that around her."

"I know you did not. Uncle Jared and uncle Paul did." I rolled my eyes at her. " Has anyone  
been over to check on Billy?" I wondered.

"Yeah, I saw him earlier. He's still asking if you and I would come around to clean out Jake's old room. He really wants to turn it into a room for Jade."

"Yes, I know. I guess I can handle it soon."

"It's no rush Bella. We will get it done when you are ready."

She grabbed the perfume bottle and spritzed it into the air in front of me causing me to cough.

"Sorry," she smiled.

"You are not.''

Leah, Jade and myself made our way downstairs. Charlie was yelling at the television. He turned slightly and smiled.

"My baby girl is going on her first date. Let me get the camera," he joked.

I rolled my eyes and put my jacket on. Leah joined him in the living room and sat on the sofa propping her feet on the coffee table. Charlie handed her the bowl of chips. "Who's wining?" she asked.

"Seattle," Charlie answered.

"Figures," Leah muttered.

There was a knock at the door. Charlie went to move but I shot him an evil glare.

"Have a seat Grandpa or I'll tell Sarah where you keep those disgusting playboy magazines," I teased.

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, I so would," I smirked. "When is she coming over?"

"Tomorrow," he said sitting back down.

"Perfect."

I leaned over to kiss Jade and she hugged me.

"I love you. Be a good girl for Charlie."

"Okay. Could you call when you get home? I want to make sure you get home safely."

"I sure will," I said kissing her again. "I love you."

"I love you."

I turned to charlie. "Dad, bring Jade home in the morning."

"Sure thing kiddo," he muttered.

"Text me," Leah said.

"Yeah, sure see ya."

I rushed to the door and pulled it open. I had forgotten the knock from earlier and rushed out. I collided with a wall. My keys fell to the ground. I reached down to retrieve them but quickly stood back up.

My eyes widened in shock. _Damn!_

I took in the beautiful man's features. He had nicely cropped brown hair that matched his intense brown eyes. His physique was amazing.

Oh god!

He smiled. Butterflies formed in my stomach. That scared the hell out of me. I had not felt butterflies in this manner in a very long time. I stood mesmerized as his smoldering eyes roved my body from top to bottom. His gaze stopped at my lips and he lingered there longer than they probably should have. He brought his attention back to my eyes and I stepped back creating space between us.

"Hi, I'm B-Bella," I stuttered holding out my hand.

_I looked like a stuttering fool but hey, what do you expect from me when not being near the opposites sex like this for so many years?_

His huge hand swallowed mine whole before pulling away.

"I'm Jeremy," he said.

"I'm nervous."

Thank you captain obvious. Bella, you idiot! Don't tell the guy you are nervous.

He chuckled, "Don't be. Let's go."

"Okay"

We proceeded towards the driveway. Jeremy walked over to the passenger side and opened the door for me. I got in as he closed it behind me.

_Relax Bella. Remember to breathe. Don't say anything embarrassing._

He got in and closed the door.

_God, he smells so good._

I wanted to ask him what kind of cologne he wore but I didn't want him to know I was paying that much attention to him. I watched as he started the car. I admired the way his dark denim jeans fit around the muscled contours of his thighs and butt. His crisp dark grey v-neck tee shirt pressed against his torso making the taut outline of his abs visible. His brown leather jacket added some edge and sexiness to his outfit. I sat quietly appreciating the fine male specimen before me until he gazed over at me and caught me staring.

_Shit!_

He smirked and bit his bottom lip which caused me to look away. If I had not turned away he would have saw me turn a million shades of red. I shrunk in my seat a little from the embarrassment. Jeremy backed out of the driveway and we were on our way to our destination. I didn't bother to ask him what club we were headed to.

"Bella tell me something about yourself…besides the obvious."

I smiled glancing over at him, "What's the obvious?"

"You are beautiful," he said.

I blushed. "I'm not really beautiful. Pretty I guess but…"

He cut me off, "Are you going to tell me that I should think less of you?"

"No but…"

"Okay good because I think your beautiful. Tell me something else about you."

"I have a daughter. You don't have a problem with that do you?" I asked nervously.

"No," he stated. "Children are precious. I have a daughter too. She's ten and her name is Alba."

"That's a very pretty Jade is is Alba's mom?" I asked reluctantly.

_I did not mean to be forward but I was curious._

"She died a few years ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I really am…I didn't mean -,"

"It's fine Bella." He smiled genuinely, "Tell me something else. What do you like to do?"

"I don't really do anything without my daughter. We do whatever she wants to do."

"So," he said sucking in a breath. "My mission is to find out who you are what you like to do."

"Seriously?" I asked gazing over at him.

"Yeah," he said. "Okay, so you don't really have any hobbies? Is there anything you like to do specifically?"

I bit my bottom lip and my brows knitted together before responding. "I like to read and write. I know it sounds boring but…"

"It doesn't. I love to do the exact same things amongst others."

_Others? Oh this is really going to be a really long night. So far Jeremy is sexy, confident, smart, outgoing, considerate, and loves kids. Is there anything wrong with him?  
_

"So tell me something about yourself other than the obvious," I mimicked his earlier question.

I saw the corners of his mouth turn up slightly and then he bit down on his lower lip again. Jeremy and his lip biting was going to be the death of my panties. I was pretty sure of it.

"What's the obvious?" he asked raising a brow.

"Well, you are attractive."

_You make me wet_.

"Go on," he mused.

"And confident."

_You make me want to do naughty things to you.  
_  
"Mhmm," he said smirking.

"And full of yourself," I laughed.

_But I sort of like it._

He joined in on the laughter and sighed, "You know Bella, I think I found one thing that you love to do that I don't mind you doing."

"Oh yeah, and what's that?" I asked.

"Smiling. Your smile is beautiful."

"Everything is beautiful to you isn't it?" I said rolling my eyes.

"Not everything, just you."

Okay, I am a goner. He is absolutely perfect. There is not one flaw in sight. Great job Leah!  
As I watched him out of the corner of my eye something inside of me changed. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Jeremy reminded me of someone. He was exactly like someone that I knew and suddenly this night had gotten bad. Really bad and I was sick to my stomach, really sick. He was like a clone. A clone of someone I was trying to forget. The rest of the ride was quiet. I didn't want to talk and I had not looked in his direction the rest of the way. I didn't want to see what I knew I would when I looked at him. My mind was reeling so much that I did not notice when we stopped.

"Bella," Jeremy's voice pulled me from my daze.

"Yes?

"Relax…please."

"Okay."

That is code for 'I will try'.

Jeremy exited the car and moved towards the passenger side and opened the door. I  
sighed looking up into his eyes. He smiled and took my hand.

"Is this too much for you? Would you rather go some place else?"

"I'm fine. I promise."

_But I wasn't. Inside I was hurting._

Jeremy lead me up the stairs towards the door and we entered. The club was completely dark except for a few blinking lights. It was really hot and loud as we made our way to the bar. We came to a halt and suddenly, I felt his smooth lips against my ear. I closed my eyes slightly as he whispered, "Do you want a drink?"

"I'll have whatever you are having."

Jeremy's arm squeezed gently around my waist and I noticed a smile appear on his lips. He left my side for a moment and went over to the bar to grab our drinks. I gazed around turning slightly until I felt his arm around my waist again. He handed me a small cup and we walked towards a small table in the corner. I sat down first and then he joined me.

"We agreed that you were going to relax," he laughed.

"Sorry."

"It's alright. Are you going to stare at your drink all night or are you going to actually drink it?"

"What is it?" I asked picking up the cup "Did you spike it?"

Jeremy chuckled. "A tequila sunrise," he said with a smirk. "Oh, and I would never spike your drink."

I narrowed my eyes at him for a moment. "Alright."

I took the cup and pressed it to my lips. I could really care less about what I was drinking. I just needed something to take my mind off of Jake. This date was definitely not helping as I gazed back into Jeremy's alluring eyes. I could not help but stare at his lips as he lightly ran his tongue over his bottom lip. I sat the cup back down and sighed trying to keep myself together. Apparently, I was not doing that great of a cocky grin plastered on his face again. If only he knew the real reason I was admiring him so much; then he would be a little less flattered.

Jeremy cleared his throat. "You are distracted."

"A little….I guess."

"What do I have to do to get you to focus?"

_Not much. I am already a little too focused on you already._

"I swear I'm okay."

He shook his head vehemently. "Maybe dancing will help you relax."

"Oh no," I protested as he removed himself from his seat and walked around to where I  
sat.

"Jeremy, no I can't. Dancing and Bella are not a good combination."

He smiled and reached for my hand. I really wanted to protest again. Before I could realize what had occurred, we were headed towards the dance floor. I wanted to object to this but my resolve deteriorating and in less than a minute his body was behind mine. Jeremy's strong arms wrapped around my tiny waist, and his warm breath lingered on my neck as my body melted against him. His grip was firm on me.I closed my eyes allowing myself to get lost in his touch. I had no idea what I was doing. I had never been to a club let alone dance with someone a man in this manner. Hopefully, I could catch on quickly.

"Jeremy this is a really bad idea," I breathed out. "I'm going to embarrass us."

He chuckled against my ear, "You are doing fine. I'll guide you just relax and focus on me."

" I can't…."

"You can. It's fine. No one is watching you but me. Just relax."

I stopped protesting. My mouth was saying one thing but my body was saying something totally different. My body wanted this. It had been so long since my body had strong arms wrapped around it; making me feel this good. But doing this with Jeremy felt so wrong. Internally it felt wrong but my flesh begged for it. His hands started to roam a little and I really did not mind because I wanted him.

The need to feel wanted by Jeremy was dominating all coherent thoughts. Feeling his desire to be with me just turned me on and it was going to be hard as hell to turn me off now that he had hit the switch.

I rested my forehead on his shoulder. My eyes closed as he swayed my hips to the beat. His body temperature was hot. It was not the temperature I had grown accustomed to since he left. I really had no clue what came over me. It felt as if something inside of me was unleashed. The heat inside of me had reached new heights. I felt him grow hard against me. I was completely aroused and ready to let this guy; whom I had never met, have his way with me and even though it seemed so wrong, it all felt right. But it only felt right because everything about him; every word he spoke and every inch of him,  
reminded me of Jake.

_Bella this is so wrong. You can't do this to Jeremy or yourself. Let's say you screw him tonight, and then you will never hear from him again. It's going to be exactly like the day Jake walked out on you and why? Because you are physically attracted to him for the wrong reasons. You don't see Jeremy, you only see Jake._

I stopped moving. My eyes opened.

"Bella what's wrong?" Jeremy breathed against my flushed skin.

"I umm…I think the drink is making me sick. I need to sit down."

"Sure. Alright."

Jeremy took my hand and we headed back to our table. I sat down. Jeremy took his seat in front of me. "Are you really sick? Or is it something else?"

"Sick," I nodded.

"Do you want to get out of here? It's fine if you do."

"No it's not fine. I ruined our date. You can be pissed at me for ruining this whole night."

"Yea I can be pissed at you," he agreed. "But I don't want to be. If you are sick then I will  
take you home. I care about you and your well being is my concern."

"That's the thing; you should not be concerned about me because you barely know me. I could be some psycho trying to get you out of here to kill you," I snapped.

He laughed. "Physically, I could over power you even if you were a psycho. But you are not capable or willing to do something like that. Oh, and you can't tell me not to worry about you."

"Listen Jeremy, this date was a mistake. I only agreed as a favor to Leah. I think you should take me home and then forget this whole thing ever happened."

The truth is I would love to enjoy this date and see you again. I really enjoy the way you make me feel but it is for my heart's selfish desires.

He seemed to be a great guy and he deserved to be with someone who was not hung up on someone else; a woman with little baggage or none at all could suit him just fine, not me.

He sighed. "Okay, well let's go," he replied rising from his seat.

I followed him out of the club. Jeremy opened the car door for me despite my rude behavior and I got in. He walked to the driver's side and joined me inside the vehicle. I sat impatiently, waiting for him to start the car. After a few moments of waiting I turned slightly to see him staring at me. He still had that expression on his face as if he could tell that I was lying about what I said earlier.

I sighed heavily as he started the car.

The ride home was silent. There was no music, no conversation, and I did not attempt to glance in his direction. I was beginning to feel bad about this whole thing but not as bad as I would feel in a few minutes when I walked away from him. The anxiety hit me head on as I saw my house just up the road.

There was a lump forming in my throat that I could not swallow. He was going to leave and I would never see him again. I gazed over in his direction and the person I saw sitting there was Jake. His beautiful face was focused on the road up ahead. I placed my cell phone in the cup holder and turned to face him. His beautiful russet skin glistened in the moonlight. It appeared to be all a dream to me. All I desperately needed was to see those smoldering dark eyes staring back at me; reminding me how much he really loved me. Jake turned and a smile formed on his lips as he pulled into the driveway.

I caressed the side of his face with my right palm.

"I guess this is goodbye," he said.

The tears formed in my eyes as the words hit me like a tidal wave, "No!" I whimpered.

"It's want you want Bella."

I shook my head no. "I won't let you make the same mistake twice. I didn't go after you the  
last I will tonight if I have to."

I unstrapped my seat belt and leaned towards him. The dream was shattered and Jake disappeared from my sight once sat staring at me motionless. My heart clenched.

I grabbed my purse from the floor and unlocked the door. Jeremy quickly grabbed my arm.

"Bella, wait!"

I looked back into his eyes. "Are you alright?"

"I will be as soon as I am out of this car and away from you."

"Bella, whatever I did to make you feel uncomfortable -,"

"Jeremy you seem like a great guy. But you are too good for me. I don't deserve someone  
like you.

You don't deserve the pain and heartache I carry. Consider yourself lucky; I'm ending this  
before it actually began."

I got out of the car and walked quickly to the front door. The sobs erupted shaking my  
shoulders as I struggled with the lock and key, attempting to get inside. As soon as the door closed behind me I dropped to my knees.

I held my hand at my chest as I struggled to breathe. I closed my eyes as the sobs took over me. I could not tell how long I had been sitting on the floor but I finally pulled myself together to stand. The pain would not subside and there was only one way I knew to anesthetize the pain.

My stomach lurched with pure nausea.

If I would have been blind folded the entire time during my date with Jeremy, I would have  
sworn it was Jake holding me on the dance floor; that it was Jake breathing into my ear. It was Jake making me feel desirable and alive. I had to get out of there. The pain began to resurface and it was gut wrenching.

My home was empty and cold as it always was without the sunshine of my life: Jade. She replaced the only sun I had known with her bright rays. Jade was at Charlie's which was a good thing.

I felt awful. I could not control it. I could not bear the thought of her seeing me a mess like this. The emptiness brought about all the memories I so desperately wanted to suppress. The last thing I wanted were memories of the past. I walked into the kitchen but stopped as I passed in front of the mirror that was in the living room.

The smeared red lipstick stained my cheek. _Who the hell was I?_ I'd done everything possible to push the thoughts of Jacob away from my mind. I was desperate to get back to the comfort zone I'd been in for the past couple of years.

But there was no use. His voice was in my head tearing my insides apart. His warm touch still lingered on my skin after all of these years. I tried convincing my heart this longing was over. Jacob made the choice to leave. He was gone. I had no decision in that. I tried over and over to comprehend all the reasons he left. But every road I took was a dead end. That  
was because our relationship was a dead end. I wanted to know what happened to him.  
_  
Was he even alive anymore? Did he want to know Jade? Did he miss his family at all?_

Deep down though, I knew I did not want to know the real reason why he truly left. For all I knew, the true reason could have killed me. Jacob could feed me lies of how he was not ready until I was buried six feet under ground but I would never believe it. I knew him better than that. The last night I saw him the flame that flickered with our love died. He was my torch;and just like that: reality blew it out. I entered the kitchen nearly tripping over one of Jade's dolls. Leaning over, I picked it up and smiled at the reminder the simple toy held.

_What would Jade think if she knew what you were doing to yourself Bella? Think of Jade.  
_  
I set down the doll on the table. I walked to the counter and opened the the drawer and grabbed a small knife. I usually only used a razor blade but I was willing to make a exception. I had to mask the pain right now. I lifted myself to sit on top of the counter. I kicked off my heels and rested my head against the cabinet. I closed my eyes.

"Jacob," I breathed softly. "If only you could see how fucked up I am. If only you knew what you did to me. I wish you could feel my pain."

I began to reminisce on what we used to be. I tried to bury the memories deep within me.  
Warm and strong arms encircled me in the dark as his soft lips trailed kisses up my neck.

I sighed and bit my lip as his hands dipped into my jeans to stroke me; making me feel beautiful and burn with an intense desire. The way he always made me feel. We were a deadly combination . It was undeniable; two passionate people born and destined to be with each other and no one else. He was the other half of me.

_**"Jake," I moaned. "Tell me you love me."**_

"You know I do," he whispered into my ear. "I love you. I could never survive a day without you."

"Will you love me always?" I whispered.

"Bells, I'm yours. I will never leave you. It's just you and me always. I'll love you forever and many more days after forever ends."

My eyes flashed open and I gripped the knife tightly in my hand. The stillness in the air began to eat away at me.

_Bella pull it together. You are not this person anymore._

I closed my eyes again as the images of him filled my head. His warm lips on mine; the smell of his woodsy scent and the color of his rich brown eyes sent my body to hell. His bare chest pushed up against mine as his sweet voice sang to me in volumes.

**_"I love you Bells...always and forever," he moaned._**

The sound of Jacob's words brought the tears to the surface.

"I know Jake. I believe you. I trust you with my heart," my breathing was heavy with lust.

"Do you trust me enough to spend the rest of your life with me?"

"Yes. You are the only person in this world that I love and I believe you would never hurt me," I gasped as Jacob entered me; filling me with his entire being. We were connected as one; I wanted this forever.

The anguish washed over me and the tears streamed down my face. I kept my eyes closed and bit down hard on my bottom lip to suppress the sobs.

**_"Bells…my Bells, will you marry me?" He breathed against my skin._**

"Yes, yes Jake. I want to be with you forever."

My eyes opened and the pain coursed through my veins. I could not get a hold of myself. I was tortured even in my own head.

I tried thinking of Jade but her memory could not pull me back from the dark abyss I was falling into.

The misery began to pry its way back into my heart; it began to ravage me. Before I realized it, once again I stood in front of the mirror with the edge of the steel against my wrist.

The black mascara stung my eyes and smeared down my face mixed with the sorrow filled tears . I held my arm up; the sobbing was never ending.

His voice in my head would not fade. The conversation would not stop.

**_"You're safe with me. Do you trust me?" He spoke softly._**

**_"Always."_**

I shook my head fervently to dispel the fantasy images that haunted me. "Fuck you!" I screamed at my reflection. "I trusted you! I can't see anyone else but you! I can't love anyone else other than you! Why?" My body shuddered as the sobs swallowed me whole.

**_"I love you, Bells."_**

"Love was not enough! If you loved me, why did you leave me alone?" I continued to scream at his words playing in my head.

_**"You are mine forever."**_

"Your a liar and a coward! Fucking Alpha my ass! What about responsibilities? You were not even able to take the responsibility of your own child!" I wailed.

The blade pierced my skin as I forcibly pushed it in. I was completely paralyzed. I watched the blood as it began to exude from the laceration and glide from my wrist, making its way to the center of my palm. It was gratifying. Hell was the only life I knew.

I was pulled back into reality when I heard the doorbell. My gaze flickered to the door. I grabbed a towel and pressed it against the cut. I applied pressure to suppress the blood but it was useless. The injury was too deep. Hopefully, I could quickly get rid of whoever was at the door. I could not deal with anymore shit tonight.I walked slowly to the door and opened it slightly.

I peeked through the crack of the door opening. My eyes widened at the person standing on my porch.

It was Jeremy. "You left your phone in my car."

I kept my injured hand behind my back. I reached through the small door opening with my other hand and grabbed it from his hand quickly.

Jeremy sighed. "I know we don't know one another that well enough for you to think I really care but Bella, whats wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied.

Jeremy turned to leave. I began to close the door until he turned around again. He placed  
his palm against it to keep it open.

I furrowed my brows. "What are you -,"

"Alba's mother's name was Elizabeth. We called her Lizzie. She died in a car accident four years ago. That car accident took our son's life too. His name was Zach. You may be wondering why I am telling you this, right? I know to you I'm just some guy your friend pressured you to go on a date with. But Bella, I know pain when I see it. I lived with pain for a long time. It's hard to deal with it, especially if you feel that you are alone. All I have now are the memories of what we had and a beautiful daughter to show for it. I can't make you talk about your problems but if I can give you a piece of advice it would be to let it go. The only way to let go of your pain is to let it all out. Scream it to the world if you have to. Bella, we are like delicate glass; we think people can't see who we really are but they can see  
right through us. It does not take a lot for our world to shatter," he said with sincere eyes before turning away.

Something within me in that moment cried out for him. Jeremy may have been a stranger but he could see. I was completely exposed for him to see the real me. He could see beneath the layers I buried myself under and for that reason, I was able to admit my faults. I could admit them because I knew he would not judge me. I did not have to cover up what he could clearly already see.

I shook my head and flung the door open completely. "I cut myself," I blurted out. My lips trembled as the tears began to well in my eyes.

Jeremy stopped in his tracks and turned around. The expression on his face was hard,  
I brought my hand from around my back and removed the towel. I held my arm up to him. The blood was smeared down my wrist.

"I cut myself and I don't know how to stop. I tried. I thought I got better but here I am again; bleeding as if it would make everything stop. As if it would make the pain disappear"

"Does it really make you feel any better?" He asked walking closer to me. "Does it make the world a better place for you?"

"For a moment it feels better. The pain is numb," I sobbed. "And then the pain returns and I feel as if I need to do it all over again. I don't want the emptiness to eat away at me."

Jeremy pulled me into his strong arms in a tight hug. I clutched his shirt and cried into his chest. His grip on me became tighter as my sobs increased.

When Jake left me I went numb. I didn't grieve like I should blood from the wounds I inflicted upon myself were the outcry of my tears. That was how I coped.  
We stood in the doorway holding onto one another for what seemed like an eternity. He allowed me to release all the anguish that I held inside for so many years. He gave me all the time I needed.

I don't know how much time had passed but I finally pulled away. "Thank you," I exhaled.  
His hand caressed my arm gently.

"When I'm alone it only gets worse."

"I will stay if that will help you, Bella."

"If it is not to much to ask?"

"It's not."

I stepped aside and gestured for him to come into the house. I was beginning to feel bad for burdening him with my problems. But here before me was a beautiful man willing to listen. I haven't really noticed any men in years. They were all invisible to me. I only wanted one. I wanted the one who did not want me.

We walked into the kitchen. I bandaged my wrist haphazardly. I fidgeted nervously as I grabbed the items I needed to put on a pot of coffee. Jeremy sat on a stool at the counter.

He took off his jacket and placed it on the stool next to him. I turned slightly to get a look at him. His deep brown eyes were watching me like a hawk.

He suddenly stood up and walked over to me. He held my arm gently and wrapped the wound correctly. I flinched at the pain. Jeremy looked up at me and smiled warmly.

I remained quiet and allowed him to finish.

He went back to the stool and sat down. I grabbed two coffee cups, made our coffee, and joined him.

We sat on opposite sides of one another. I took a sip as did he. Neither one of us wanted to be the first to ask a painful question so we sat quietly. His attention flashed towards

Jade's picture on the refrigerator and then back at me.

"She has your smile," he said.

I laughed sheepishly, "She does."

I bit my lip nervously and sat the coffee cup down again.

"Why do you cut yourself?" he suddenly asked

"I don't know," I lied.

"Let me know when you are ready to honest," Jeremy stood up from the stool and grabbed his jacket.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Home."

I sighed, "Don't leave."

"Don't lie to me," he said.

"Fine...please, just sit.

Jeremy placed his jacket on the stool again and sat down. He sipped his coffee again before he spoke.

"Why do you cut yourself?"

"I hurt constantly. Not physically but emotionally. This helps my wounded heart that sears  
with never ending pain. I honestly did stop and I thought I got better. And it worked for a while. I stopped doing this to myself. But the urge returns and I can't stop."

"Why can't you stop?"

"Cutting myself is a way to allow my internal suffering loose. I have dealt with this anguish for years and there is no other way I know how to control it. It's the only way for me to heal."

He sighed. "Bella that's not the way to heal. Cutting yourself only makes your pain worse. All that does is mask it. It will help for a moment but after the few minutes of that sublime experience you feel; the severe internal suffering is still evident. It does not help you "

I nodded my head.

"I know what it feels like to hurt. I wish I had someone there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on."

I faintly smiled. My eyes were heavy with the need of sleep. Jeremy smiled warmly. I had seen that smile before. But only in my personal hell of dreams. The smile did not belong to Jeremy but to Jake.

"Someone is sleepy."

"Yeah, it's been a long night."

"I should let you rest," he said

"Could you uh...could you just hold me until I go to sleep? After I am asleep you could leave if you want. I just don't trust myself right now."

"Sure."

Jeremy and I walked into the living room. We both sat on the couch. He shifted his body to a comfortable position and cradled me in his arms.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"Relax."

I smiled. I was sure in the future when ever I began to lose myself that I would hear Jeremy's voice in the back of my mind reminding me to relax. There was nothing sexual about the way he held me. I closed my eyes as sleep washed over me. There were no dreams, no night terrors, and no memories. It was just me, Jeremy, and the darkness that relaxed my entire being.

##

Morning came faster than I thought. I could hear faint whispers but I did not bother to open my eyes.

I was no longer in Jeremy's embrace. Instead, there was a blanket draped over me. Jade's voice was radiating from the other room. I was anxious to open my eyes and see her beautiful face. But mind focused solely on the conversation Jeremy and Charlie were engaged in. I kept my eye shut tight.

"I understand. I am just happy that she forgot her phone. Honestly, I don't know how far she would have gone. She said she wanted to bleed the pain out," Jeremy said in a low voice.

Charlie sighed. "I thought she was done with this. It's been nearly two years since the last incident. I don't want to worry about what she will do when I am not around. Bella is 25. She is an adult. I should not have to protect her from herself."

"Maybe you should get her some help?" Jeremy suggested.

"There is not a person on this earth that can heal a broken heart. That is what Bella is suffering from."

"But you said it's been 7 years. How can she still be waiting for him?"

"She is not only carrying pain from a breakup; she is carrying guilt as well. You don't know what it is like to live with the memories of everything being perfect and then the thought that a baby changed everything. She blames herself for him leaving. She blames herself for Jade never knowing her dad. I am grateful that you were here for Bella but she has a lot of baggage that I don't think any man would be willing to wait for her to unload. She falls to pieces when left alone. She has to want to help herself."

"I think your wrong. I think I can help her, and I am going to.".

"Oh really?" Charlie protested. "And how are you going to do that?"

"I'm not going to try and change her. There is another life Bella could be living and I'm going to show her exactly what she is missing. I'm not perfect and I am not looking for perfection. I have lost people that I love as well. It's been a while and I want to let someone in. Bella does too. If she didn't want to, I would not be standing here. We can help eachother."

The conversation was making me smile. Here was Jeremy; who was a complete stranger 24 hours ago, saying that he wanted to show me what I had been missing. It was hard to believe but I could tell from his tone of voice that he meant every word spoke. It scared me and the butterflies formed in my stomach. But something with me said I was going to hurt him.

_How could I learn to love someone like Jeremy when he reminded me of someone I wanted so badly to hate?_

The only way I could attempt to even be around Jeremy was if I set them apart. I had be able to differentiate between Jeremy and Jake. That was the only way to make this work.

Otherwise, my memories would haunt me until the day I died.

"If you think you can accept this, then I approve of you Jeremy. You are a good man as far as I am concerned. My daughter needed someone last night more than you could imagine.

You may have saved her life. Thank you."

"It was no problem."

Wait, was he basically giving me away to a stranger?

That was weird. Charlie had never been fond of any guy that showed interest in me; only Jake. I only believed that he liked Jake because Billy was his dad.

I opened my eyes. Charlie's attention shifted and then he was at my side kneeling down before me. I smiled lightly to assure him I was alright. The tears fell from his eyes as he cradled my face.

"You're going to be the death of me Bella," he said. " Listen to me please, and I mean really listen. You and Jade are my life. You can't do this to us. Jade should never see you like this. You can't imagine the look on her face when she saw you Bella. It was horrible."

"Dad, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you Jeremy was here. It must have been awful for Jade to see me in his arms."

Charlie shook his head. "Bella, that is not what I meant. The issue is what you are doing to yourself."

"Dad this was a slip up. I promise I'm fine."

"Bella you harmed yourself again. It is not alright."

I sighed. "I had no intentions of doing this dad. It just happened."

"I think that is what scares me the most. I don't understand how you can not control the urge to harm yourself."

"That's not what I am trying to accomplish when I cut myself, Charlie," I said angrily.

"Well, that is all you are accomplishing. Bella, you have to stop this."

"I'm trying."

"You are not trying. Don't use Jade as a crutch Bella. Help yourself because it's the right thing to do. I understand everything that you do is for Jade's benefit but what about yourself, Bella?" Charlie gripped both of my hands in his. "You have to want to help yourself."

"Okay," I muttered. "I'm so sorry."

"You owe someone else an apology as well."

I got up from the couch. Jeremy smiled warmly at me and I returned the smile. I walked upstairs into Jade's room. Jade sat in the middle of the floor. Her legs were folded and her tiny little hands were placed on both knees. Her eyes were shut as if she was doing a chant. I stood in the doorway for a moment.

_What is she doing?_

I slowly made my way over to where she was. I sat down in front of her and placed my hands on top of hers. Jade opened her eyes and smiled lightly. She didn't say a word. She lifted my wrists with her tiny palms and turned them inward.

"Your hurt," she said as the tears filled my eyes.

"A little."

"Momma, did you do this to yourself?"

"Yes, but I promise it will never happen again."

"I want to make it go away."

"You can't Jade. But I promise to remain strong for you."

"And who will remain strong for you?"

"I don't know. But I think I met someone who would like to help."

"Close your eyes momma," she said.

I closed them as she asked. Her tiny finger traced where I made the cuts. There was a pang of pain. Her finger continued to trace the old scars. After a few moments she stopped and removed her hand.

"Open them Momma. Take off the bandages."

I opened my eyes to look at her. She was smiling brightly.

I looked down at where her hands had been. I unwrapped my wrists from the cloth material. The dried blood was gone. The pain was gone. The cuts and scars were gone. I stared completely stunned. The tears formed in my eyes at the thought of what she had just done. Her smile faded as she took in my expression.

"What's wrong momma?" she asked.

"How did you do that?" I pleaded for an answer. "Jade, how did you do that?"

"I just wanted you to get better. I wanted to help you."

The tears fell from my eyes as I wrapped my arms around her. _Okay, now I was really afraid._ No one could know about this. What would happen to her if people knew she could do things like this? But better yet how could she heal me? Jake was a werewolf. I expected her to sprout a tail before this. No one could know about this but there was one person I could talk to about it and that was Billy. The supernatural blood that flowed inside of her was making itself known. But no werewolf I had ever known or heard of could do this.

"Jade, honey how did you do that?" I pressed again.

"I didn't. My friend did."

"Can momma meet him to say thank you?" I asked. "Please, Jade. I need to see him."

She thought about it for a second and then smiled. "You will meet him soon but it will only be for a while."

"That's all I need."

**One Month Later...**

I stood at the closet trying to find a shirt to wear. I gazed back at Jade. She stood staring at nothing.

Jade had become more open with me about her friend. She still refused to tell me certain things but I did not let it bother me...that much. I watched her as curiosity kicked in yet again. There was nothing in front of her but Jade had the most astounding look on her face.  
I watched as she nodded her head as if saying 'yes' a few times and then looked up with that brilliant smile.

"Mom?"

"You should be getting dressed now, Jade. We have a lunch date with Jeremy and Alba today. We can not be late. I am really looking forward to meeting Jeremy's daughter and you get a new friend."

"Momma?"

"Jade, please honey; get dressed. There will be no hiding your shoes today because we don't have time for that. I want you to wear that navy blue dress on your bed, and don't forget your earrings this time."

"Isabella," she yelled.

"Jade Emilia Black," I snapped. "That is unacceptable. You do not call me Isabella."

"Sorry, but I am trying to tell you something important."

"There are no monsters under you bed," I smirked at her. "Go put your clothes on, sweetheart. For me; please?"

Jade giggled. "Yes they are but that was not what I was going to say," she chimed. "I'm trying to tell you something else."

"What is it?"

"I um..."

"Jade, your making me nervous."

"I want you to meet my best friend."

_Best friend?_

"He's here."

I walked closer to where she stood.

"You can't hear him but I will tell you everything that he says. He says, 'hi Bells'."

I decided to go along with this. The last thing I wanted to do was upset Jade by saying that her friend was just a figment of her imagination. A few weeks ago I didn't believe that, but standing here now and watching her talk to someone that did not exist was all the proof I needed. Jake was gone and he was not coming back.

"Hi," I replied almost sarcastically.

Jade smiled and then turned her attention back to me. "He says you look really beautiful. Your smile is back."

"My smile is back?" I asked confused.

"Yes. He says you have the most beautiful smile in the world. He misses you. I never  
asked how you two knew one another? Was he your friend first Momma?"

"Sweetheart, I don't know. Maybe we have met before. What's his name Jade?"

I felt the tears form in my eyes. I really wanted to make her happy and continue this conversation but my emotions were getting in the way. My heart was racing and I was teary eyed as I stared at nothing.

"I can't."

"Is it Jacob? Go ahead, you can say it honey."

"I can't," she repeated.

_This could not be happening. So many emotions fled through me as the tears fell from my eyes_.

I had started to doubt that her imaginary friend was Jake. I had started to doubt everything that my mind had conjured up. But now everything was clear: I had been right all along.  
Jade's smile faded. I waited for her to turn back to me. The look on her face shattered my heart into a million pieces.

"Sweetie?"

"He didn't have a choice. None of us do."

"What does that mean?" I asked confused.

"I don't know," she said.

"Jacob, what does that mean?" I said aloud.

"Momma, he's so sorry for everything," she said as the tears fell from her own eyes. "Why is my friend sorry, momma? Why is he crying?"

"He's crying?" I said in a strangled voice. "Jade, honey; say his name. I need to hear it from your mouth."

"I can't," she said.

I knelt down in front of her, pulling her tiny frame to me. "Jade, say his name."

"Momma, please don't make me. I made a promise."

I gripped her arms tighter. "Jade, I need you to say it. Say his name," I demanded.

"Mom, you are hurting me…please," she whined.

I let go of her and stood to my feet. The Pandora's box inside of my heart was completely open. The next thing I knew I was yelling. All of my frustration was taking a hold of me. I could hear Jade crying in the background but my pain was at the forefront.

"Tell her that she can say your name, Jacob!" I screamed in rage. "Fucking tell her everything! You owe me that much! Tell her the truth: who you are to her and why you left! Tell her what happened to you! I don't give a damn if it hurts you to say it but you tell her the fucking truth! Don't pretend to be her friend. You are not her friend. I don't know what happened to you but if you are here, if you can hear me; I want you to know one thing: I won't let you hurt her the same way that you hurt me," I yelled in a menacing tone. "For once do the right thing. Tell Jade the truth."

I wiped the tears from my face. I knelt down in front of Jade. She was still crying. I hugged her tightly.

Her tiny finger nails gripped my shoulders as she cried onto my chest.

"I never meant to hurt you, Bells. Everything I said that day was a lie. I tried to do the right thing. What I said that day hurt you, I know. It killed me to say that to you, to break your heart.,"Jade said; apparently repeating after him.

"Where are you Jake?" I sobbed.

"I'm in hell. I can never come back. Forget about me and move on. I have to go now ."

"You are leaving again?" I sobbed harder. "Tell me what happened to you? Tell me what happened to us!"

"I love you," Jade whispered.

"Jacob what happened to you?" I begged for an answer. "Jake please…," I whimpered.

I held onto Jade for a while until she stopped crying. I had not expected any of that to happen. My heart had been ripped to shreds in less than ten minutes. She pulled away.

"Momma, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Is my friend…is he..."

She sniffled and then broke down again. I held her to my chest tightly as her tears soaked  
my shirt.

"Yeah…I'm afraid he is."

"Momma, it hurts. I don't think I want to see him anymore. He lied to me. He's not my friend. He's daddy."

"I'm sorry sweetheart."

She sighed in spurts. "I'm really, really sad."

"I know, so am I. Do you want to cancel our date with Jeremy and Alba?" I asked.

"Yes. I don't feel well."

"Alright sweetheart; climb into my bed. Momma's going to call Jeremy and then she will be right back."

"Alright," she sighed as she climbed into my bed.

My heart was heavy as I exited my bedroom. I made my way down the hallway. I stopped at the top of the stairs when I heard Jade's sobs pick up again. I knew it had to hurt her. Jake had been apart of her life all along and never told her who he was to her. She was hurting and her pain only increased mine. I made my way down the stairs.

I slid my body down to the floor against the wall and pulled my knees up. I took out my cell phone and dialed Jeremy's number. I tried to keep my sobs to myself. He had no clue of any of this.

"Where are you guys?" he warm deep voice boomed through the receiver. "I was getting worried."

"Jeremy - I…we can't make it. I'm so sorry."

I really was sorry. Jeremy was a great guy. I liked him...a lot. When I am with him I smile. He makes me laugh. Jade loves him already. But sitting here in this position, crying my eyes out only confirmed one thing. I was still healing. The wounds Jake left on my heart were still open and it stung like hell. I was confused, afraid, angry, and hurt. I had no idea of what was going on. Jade was hurting and knowing that nothing would fix it did not help.

I bit down on my bottom lip to silence my sobs.

"Bella," he said. "Are you alright? Is Jade fine?"

"She's sick. We need to stay home."

"Bella?"

"I have to go Jeremy," I said hanging up the phone.

I managed to text Leah.

_Leah,_

I need you. Jade needs you. It's Jake...bring Sam.

I pressed send and tossed my phone onto the floor. The tears streamed down my face. I managed to get up from the floor after a few moments. I grabbed my cell phone and walked back upstairs to my Jade. I snuggled in next to her. She wrapped her arms around my neck tightly and buried her face in my hair.

"I love you," I said to her. "I love you so much. I made a promise to myself on the day you were happened between Jacob and I had nothing to do with you. I promised that you would never suffer for it. I'm sorry, Jade. I promise momma will make the pain go away if it's the last thing that I do."

"He's daddy," she repeated.

**Jeremy P.O.V.**

I sat quietly with my cellphone gripped tightly in my hand. Bella was not coming. That was a huge disappointment. I could feel that something was off. The way she spoke on the phone was cold and rushed.

Whatever had consumed her mind was forcing her to push me away again. We were making progress over the past couple of weeks. But now it seemed as if we are back at square one.

"She is not coming is she?" Alba said. "Dad, technically she is not standing you up. You should push that thought aside. Standing someone up requires no phone call."

I looked back into Alba's brown eyes as she took another sip of her drink. She placed the glass down onto the table and smiled. "I was looking forward to meeting her. I guess it's just you and I dad, huh?"

"I guess so," I mumbled. "She was looking forward to meeting you as well."

"I'll meet her soon. She's really beautiful."

"How would you know that?"

"Are you forgetting my little gift daddy?" she grinned. "I always watch you know. I like to see the people you will meet. I have to keep you safe."

"It's not your job to keep me safe. It's my job to protect you. The only thing I want you to do is experience life as a normal kid."

"But that's impossible."

"Says who?" I retorted. "You seem normal to me," I shrugged.

"Dad," she huffed crossing her arms. "Normality is completely different in human eyes."

"You are a clever one, aren't you?"

"Well, so are you," she smiled. "Jade's different."

I raised and eyebrow, "Different?"

"Yes, she's different," Alba replied coolly.

"How?" I asked curiosity getting the best of me. I knew that Alba could see things that I could not.

"I'm not sure. It's her aura. It's different from Bella's. She's special."

"Are you sure?" I asked raising a brow.

"Positive."

"So Jade is special and Bella isn't?" I asked again.

Alba nodded. "Bella's Aura is dark. It reminds me of mom's. Jade's is yellow and orange. It's very bright. It's not like anything I've ever seen, dad. I really want to meet her now."

"Your curiosity has rubbed off on me, my little one."

I smiled at her. Alba giggled and tapped her fingers on the table. "But I think it's good that you found someone you like dad. Today, I am ten and tomorrow I'll be twenty and out of your life. I don't want you to be lonely."

"You will never be out of my life. I'll always have you."

"And I'll always have you dad."

I watched as Alba played with the charms on her bracelet. I was pretty sure there was a grin plastered on my face. She was just so beautiful. She looked liked her mom so much. Alba was a clever one. She was mentally twice my age. Everything I did in my life was for her. She's the sole reason I breathe . She made life great. Her innocence was what kept me going throughout each day. I turned my entire life around for her. There was a time when darkness had consumed my life. It was a time when I could not find the balance. It was a time when I had no idea of who I was and only an idea of what I was capable of.

But when I met Lizzie, I thought everything changed. I thought wrong. She led me into the deepest part of darkness there was. Alba meant nothing to me. All that I knew was that my first born would be the most remarkable thing in the world. It didn't matter to me whether she was safe or not. I just wanted to be free. I was ready to give Alba away. That was because of my ignorance. I knew nothing of innocence until the moment I heard her first cry. The very moment I held Alba in my arms I knew I had to protect her no matter what. She was a special child; a child that I had given away all rights to a long time ago. But everything changed in that moment.I knew that I had made a horrible mistake. There was only one way to fix it and it would kill me once I went through with it.

I remember the night of the car accident all to well.

**Flashback to Four Years Ago**

Alba was sitting in the back seat next to her brother Zach. Lizzie and I had been arguing. I tried to convince her that giving Alba over to them was the wrong thing to do. They would take Zach and me, too. They would kill Lizzie and she would never become one of them. Somehow she had convinced me that what she had decided was right. I was naïve back then and I knew she did not feel equal to me. She told me that I could make more children. She said, 'what's the harm of giving up just one?' I prolonged the exchange as long as I could. I sat in the passenger seat. Lizzie drove frantically down the highway.  
Zach was crying in the back seat. Lizzie had relapsed. I could tell from her dilated pupils.

She turned the metal music up louder to tune out his screams.

"Lizzie," I yelled. "Lizzie..."

She gazed over at me with a crooked smile. Quickly she turned down the music. "We are doing this."

"Pull over!"

"No! I am not pulling over until we reach our destination."

"I'm having second thoughts about this Lizzie. These are our kids. I love them."

"I'll give you many more babies," she said coldy.

"If they turn you Liz you won't be able to. I'm not giving them up."

She blew out an angry breath. "We already agreed. I have put this off long enough, Jeremy. At least we will know that Alba will be safe with them."

"She will never be safe Lizzie and you know that. We can forget about this. We can turn back around and no one will ever know," I pleaded.

"I want this."

"Why?" I asked. "Why do you want to be one of them? To live as they do? Why do you  
want that?"

"I have my reasons. I have rights to Alba just as you do. We agreed Jeremy. We are doing this and there is no turning back. The Volturi will keep her safe. They will give me what I want and this will all be over. Alba will be protected and you and I can go on to live the life that we always wanted."

"They will abuse her. They will kill you once they find out that she is alive. There is no happy ending Lizzie. Right now no one knows that I exist. There is no Alba and Zach. It's not too late to walk away from all of this."

"Don't worry Jeremy. It will all be over very soon."

I turned my attention back to the road. The tears formed in my eyes at the thought of what was to come.

I could walk away from this but I loved Lizzie far too much to watch her self-destruction. I turned around to see Alba sitting quietly in the back seat. She had her legs crossed and her eyes were closed. I watched closely.

"Mommy?" Alba said

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

It all happened so fast after that. Lizzie lost control of the wheel and drove us off the shield expanded around me, protecting me from any damage. I closed my eyes and prepared myself for the impact. There was nothing but my eyes slightly, I realized I was standing on the bridge. I opened my eyes completely to see Alba standing in front of me. She watched as the car disappeared into the water below. I stood in disbelief as the tears fell from my eyes. The pain surged through me as I dropped to my knees. They were gone. I placed my hands over my eyes and sobbed.

The pain stabbed my heart repeatedly. I felt Alba's tiny arms embrace me. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and cried.

"I was not strong enough to save Zach, too. I'm sorry dad. But momma had to be stopped. I saw it. We all were going to die. They would have killed us all."

**End of flashback**

"Sir?"

I gazed up into the waitresses eyes. They were big and blue. Her short blond pixie haircut was pushed back with a headband.

"Uh yeah?" I responded.

"What will it be?" she said annoyed.

"I will have chicken fingers and a refill," Alba interrupted handing her cup over. "It was a coke."

"I'll have what she's having," I smiled back at my daughter.

The waitress wrote down our order and stormed off. I guess today was one of those days for her.

Alba chuckled.

"Are you going to tell Bella?" she asked.

"No."

"She should know what she is getting herself into," Alba said.

"I know little one. I know. But I can't tell her. I can't tell her the truth. Not yet anyways."

**B.P.O.V.**

I heard voices coming from downstairs. I rolled over to see Jade still sleeping. I kissed her and removed myself from the bed. As I reached the top of the stairs, I could hear Leah and Sam. They were having a disagreement about something. It had been a while since I heard them argue. I reached the bottom step and both of their attentions shifted towards me.

"You guys keep it down. Jade is asleep."

"Sorry," Sam said. "Bella we have a problem."

"It is not a problem," Leah said. "Sam don't..."

"What kind of problem?" I asked confused. "Sam what kind of problem?" I insisted again.

"Bella, it's nothing," Leah jumped in.

I glared at her angrily. Leah reminded me a lot of Edward when it came to my safety. She  
would risk lying to me rather than tell me the truth. I hated it. I may not be impossibly fast or strong but that did not mean that I was not capable of keeping Jade and I alive. If I had to die for Jade, I would. I did not need Leah lying to me in order to protect us. The only way to protect me and my daughter was by revealing the truth.

"Leah enough," I said angrily. "I have been through hell for the last two hours. The last thing  
I want or need right now is you lying to me. You and Sam are arguing and I want to know why!"

"We never found Victoria's body," Sam said. "I didn't want you to worry. There were no remains, not even a her ashes."

"What?" I yelled furiously.

"Bella, we are sorry."

"That can't be," I said frantically. "It has to be somewhere."

Sam sighed, "It's not. We are going to keep a watchful eye on you an Jade."

I nodded. "Sam you don't get it. Victoria has to be dead otherwise she will come back and kill us both."

"We will be ready if she returns. Don't worry, Bella. I'll never let anything happen to you or Jade."

"I'm sick of this," I snapped. "I'm tired of ruining your lives because of my past mistakes. Everyone I know is suffering for something I have done."

"Bella you are not a burden to us," Sam said.

"But I feel as if I am."

"Bella, Jacob was my best friend. I know that if I had made the same decisions that he made he would have been there for Emily."

" You've done so much for me already Sam and all I've done is -,"

"Bella you are family. Jade means the world to me. I would die trying to protect you and her if I had to. I would die to protect my family."

The tears fell from my eyes as I pulled Sam into a hug. I had to admit. I was always jealous of the relationship between Jake and Sam, but now it all made sense. Family meant everything to them. Their family values were a lot stronger than what I would ever have with my own parents. Sam was a noble man. He was someone who would jump in front of a bullet if it meant the people that he loved were protected. He saw Jade and myself as his own kind. I could not have asked for anything else.

"Thank you," I sobbed.

"It's alright Bella," he said rubbing my back in a soothing gesture. "I am going to fix this."

I pulled away and wiped the tears from my eyes. I had not forgotten the reason I had called them here.

"Guys, I...um, called you here for a reason," I said gesturing between Sam and Leah. "It's about Jake...he's been here."

"Here?" Sam said. "Where is he?"

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"When will he be back? Bella, how do I reach him?"

"Only through a little person who is heartbroken and does not want to see him again."

"Jade?"

I nodded. "Sit. I have a lot to tell you."


	6. Chapter 5 Disagreement and resentment

_A/N:So many of you want to have my head. It's been about three months since I updated and I am truly sorry. I promise that I will never make you guys wait that long again. With that being said I would like to remind you that this story is angst and OOC. For those of you who are wondering this is still a J/B story. Have a little patience with me. This chapter is not Beta'd. The chapter is forty pages long and I decided that I did not want to make you wait any longer. Rocky/Rocksteady54 is still my Beta. She is taking a little time off and I approve:) Love ya Rock. Anyways grab the tissues and let's get on with it. I would also like to give credit to Shawnie F. for helping me come up with the name :) _

B.P.O.V

I sat inaudibly with my back pressed resolutely my the chair. My hair was pulled away from my face. I was fully out in the open. My tears were perceptible and able to rupture free as I embraced my qualms. They were being thrown at me and there was no way to dodge them. I placed my face in my hands as the tears fell from my eyes. Normally tears transpire after the session has started but not for me. I was a nervous wreck. My emotions were all over the place. I could hear footsteps approaching. I tilted my head slightly to see a man. He was wearing a white shirt and tie. His ethnicity was Korean American. He wore a warm smile as I stood to my feet. I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes.

"Right this way.""

I followed him into his office. His office was exactly what I expected. The walls were white. There was a desk with a name plate that read, Dr Shlong. Then, there was the infamous couch. It was the couch that I would be seated in twice a week, crying my eyes out, and sharing with him my darkest hours. I sighed as Dr. Shlong gestured for me to sit. I sat down quietly, crossed my legs, and tried to gather some form of relaxation. I watched as

Dr. Shlong sat in front of me in a chair. He had a note pad and a pen. I wanted to escape this. Something inside of me wanted to push my feelings into the back of my mind and pretend to be fine. But I knew that would not work. There was no escaping the pain and suffering.

Charlie had been opposed to this sort of thing. But he was not the reason that I was seated here. Something dark was taking a hold of me. I could no longer control myself, my emotions, or my actions. What I needed was help and hopefully I could find it here.

"So Miss Swan how are you?" Dr. Shlong asked.

"Please call me Bella," I answered. "And I could be better."

"Okay Bella I talked to a friend of yours, Jeremy, He was the one who referred you to me  
am I correct?"

"Yes."

" Why are you here Bella?"

Why am I here? Why am I putting myself through this?

"I'm under a lot of stress…all the time."

He jotted a few things down and then met my gaze again.

"I want to talk about your childhood. What was that like?"

"It was alright until I was fourteen. My parents divorced and my mom took off. She left me behind to live with my dad."

"And what was that like for you?"

"Hell," I breathed out. "I felt alone. My mom and I were very close."

"And when she left how did you feel?" He asked

"Broken. For a while I felt broken and abandoned. I asked myself why couldn't she stay for me. But as I grew wiser I understood that Renee did not leave because of me. I do not agree with her decision to leave but it was because my parents could not work it out."

"You have a daughter…am I correct?"

"Yes."

"And her dad?"

I paused for a second, attempting to pull myself together. Dr. Shlong sensed my distress and jotted something else down.

"Bella, we don't have to talk about him if you don't want to."

I nodded, "It's alright."

I think.

"I'm sure that every conversation will lead back to Jacob."

"Is that his name?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to tell me why it hurts you to speak of him?"  
I nodded, "He left me when I was pregnant. I haven't heard from him sense then."

He nodded, "Has he ever done anything prior to that incident that has harmed you, Bella?"

I shook my head no as the tears fell from my eyes, "No. He loved me. Jacob was a good guy and I've tried to convince myself that there had to be some sort of sign that he was capable of doing this to me but there was none. He had never hurt me until the day that he walked out of my life."

"Tell me about the cutting?" He said. "Why do you cut yourself?"

The tears formed in my eyes as I shook my head, "How long is this session?" I asked.

"We can use as much time as you need. With time comes progress and that is what I wish to make here."

"I can't do this," I sobbed, standing to my feet.

"Miss Swan, please just sit. We don't have to talk about him again."

I reluctantly sat back down in my seat. My thoughts were racing as Dr. Shlong asked another question. I never realised how much help I actually needed. The road to resentment was short but the road to forgiveness would be rocky. I was sure of it.

I was 99 percent sure that I had still been sleeping. The first reason being that I were in my silk night gown outside in what seemed to be ten degree weather. The wind did not bother me it was my location that had puzzled me. I watched as the sky darkened before my eyes. The clearing was foggy as I walked down first beach. I was not sure where I was headed but I had a strong urge to walk out into the woods. I walked down the beach. There were foot prints there. They were a lot larger than mine. I proceeded forward until the trees covered me. Each branch that I pushed out of the way felt heavy in my hands. I had begun to ponder on whether I had gone completely crazy until I heard voices. As I pushed forward I noticed three men. Their bodies were barely covered and they were hovering over something.

"We are lost," A woman said.

Or someone…..

I took a few steps forward, "Excuse me," I said.

They are ignoring me. Maybe they can't hear me after all this is a dream right? I hope.

"Ephraim," One of the guys said. "What do we do? They are outsiders."

Wait! Did he just say Ephraim? Ephraim!

"We should help them," Ephraim said.

"Why?"

"They are lost. What kind of men would we be if we turned them away?"

"But they are outsiders."

"They need help. I say that we help them out. What is your name?"

He turned back to the women.

"My name is Villa… And this is my sister Annabelle."

I took a few steps forward until I could see the women. They were mesmerizing. Villa wore her thick curly locks piled high on her head. Her eyes were a shade of hazel that I had never seen before. She wore a white cotton dress that buttoned at her cleavage. But what stood out the most was a huge pendent attached to her necklace. There was a five point star in the middle of it. There was no sun out but the pendent seemed to reflect a light off of it somehow. Her sister Annabelle wore one similar. Annabelle was as beautiful as her. She wore her dark brunette hair down her back. Her cotton dress was similar to hers but her eyes were a deep shade of brown and not hazel.

Ephraim helped the women to their feet and they walked out of the woods. I followed them. Curiosity had begun to get the best of me.

But time seemed to flash before my eyes. Suddenly I was down by the beach. It was night time. No one was insight. No one but Ephraim and the woman named Villa. She was kneeling down by the shore as the waves soaked her. The moon light made the woman appear almost inhuman. She was beautiful.  
Her hair hung flawlessly down her back. I watched as Ephraim approached her. His facial expression seemed painful as the tears filled his eyes. The woman seemed cold and emotionless.

"Have you come to say goodbye to me?" she asked. "I've never been alright with saying goodbye."

"Yes."

"You are the chief right?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Everyone else seems to call the shots except you," she said coldly.

"You don't understand," He pleaded.

"I do understand. I understand how naïve I've been. But I must say that this is my fault. I should not have believed a lie."

"What I said was the truth."

"Show me," she said as she stood to her feet. "Show me that it is the truth. Tell your tribe the truth."

"I can't," he yelled.

"You can't or you won't?"

"I can't. I have duties…..responsibilities."

"But you can hurt me?" She asked bitterly. "You think that I don't know what it feels like to have responsibilities? We all have choices. How dare you stand before me and speak of this being your only option? Goodbye is not your only option."

"I'm not trying to hurt you. I love you."

"You don't get to speak of love," she said. "I should be enough for you. But I'm not am I? After I've given myself to you…only you then you decide that this wrong. Why did you tell me the truth? Why didn't you spare me the details of our fate together. Maybe it would be easy to walk away. "

"What do you want from me?" he asked

"Silly question to ask," she laughed coldly.

I watched as she walked closer to him. Her fingertips caressed the side of his face whipping his tears away.

"Come with me," she said.

"You know that I can't."

"If were bind together in the ways that you say then you will come with me."

What the hell? Bind….as in Imprint?

I watched again as time warped it's self. I was not on the beach anymore. We were back in the woods. Only this time Ephraim was not present. The other two men were present and so was the Villa and her sister Annabelle. They seemed angry.

"You must leave and never return," One of the men ordered.

"I'm not leaving without him," Villa stated.

"Yes you are. Ephraim should have never agreed to help you and your sister. I knew you were nothing but trouble, to seduce the chief and embarrass his wife is unacceptable. You may never come on our land again."

"I never seduced him," she yelled. "What we have is love. I am his imprint."

"You are not," The man hissed. "And even if that were true no one will believe you. Your time here is up. Ephraim wants nothing more to do with you both."

"I don't believe that," she said. "Your lying."

"Your proof is here. He did not wish to say goodbye to you. That is some love that you share," He hissed.

"He's worried of what you will think of him. I'll never understand why he wish to please you in the way that he does but I know that what we share is love."

The man took a step forward, "If you wish to make a fool of yourself go ahead. Go to him and ask him to turn his back on his tribe for you," He laughed. "This is your final goodbye to him. Prove to me that what you have is love. If he denies you, both of you shall leave this land in peace and never return."

The woman grew silent. She turned to her sister before she spoke again, "Alright."

The time warp happened again. This time I was inside of a tent. There was a woman. I could barely see her face. She was kneeling down on her knees. I watched as her sobs picked up. Ephraim stood next to her. He stood there emotionless. The tears were streaming down her cheeks. Both of her fists were clenched at her sides.

"You love me," she yelled. "I know it."

"I don't. I love my wife and I love my tribe. I want you to disappear."

"You do not mean that."

"I mean every word. Leave and never come back."

"Don't do this. I will never allow you to be happy without me," she yelled.

"Keep your voice down."

"Why? Are you afraid of what your people will think of you?"

"Leave. Please."

"I've never been more ashamed of anyone in my existence. I trusted you and you have betrayed me. You have been marked."

"What does that mean?" Ephriam asked confused.

"  
You've been marked?

The dream began to fade into darkness. I could see a shimmer of light. But that was until I realized it was just the sun glaring in my window. I rubbed my eyes continuously until my vision was clear. There was a warm body snuggled beside me. I gazed down to see Jade still asleep. Normally she would have been up playing with her dollys or watching cartoons but not today. I watched as her parted lips let out tiny snores. A smile appeared on my lips as I pulled her closer to me and kissed her tiny nose, her tawny cheeks, and then her tiny lips repeatedly. I loved her so much. I needed Jade wake up and laugh. I wanted her to smile and be my ray of sunshine as she always were. Her eyes fluttered open. I smiled again as she smirked and tilted her head back.

"Morning, Princess. I love you."

"I love you too, Mom."

I sat up in the bed. Jade did the same as we stretched together. I wish I could stay in bed with her like that forever. We could protect one another from all of the heartache and pain that the world had to offer. If only that were possible. But even Jade could not get the images of my dream from my head. It all seemed so real. It had to be real. That had to be Ephraim Black. He looked a lot like Billy, Jake's dad.

I waited for the woman to speak again. I was desperate for her to go on, for her to finish what the words, "You have been marked", meant. I needed to know If it had anything to do with what happened to Jake. Two things were positive to me. One being Jacob was not dead and two there was something wrong with me. I was truly disturbed and needed help in order to be a good mother. Jade deserved that much from me. She also deserved a hero. In this situation I was only fit to be that hero. For the first time it was Jacob who needed to be saved. It was Jacob who needed my help. The only problem with that was the dreading question, why should I help him? Why should I put myself through more grief to save him? Yes I love him still and that is a feeling that will never change. But I would change it if I could.

Because you love him.

Because you are married to him.

Because you am raising his child alone. Not completely alone but without him.

My annoying inner voice continued to banter.

But what has he done to help me?

Nothing. He's done nothing but disappeared but not before dragging you threw the mud and leaving you with unanswered questions. That has not helped you at all.

I got up from the bed, grabbed jade and hoist her on my waist, and walked into the bathroom. I placed her on her feet on top of the toilet seat and turned on the facet. Jade grabbed her pink tooth brush and stuck it in her mouth. I glared at her and began tugging in order to get her to release it. For some weird reason she hated tooth paste. I had to bribe her to brush every single day.

"Jade you need toothpaste," I said. "Please, princess give momma the toothbrush."  
She did as I told her. But her facial expression showed how much she hated obeying me.

"Momma I don't like it," she whined.

"I know. I get that but your breath wont be fresh without the toothpaste Jade."

"But mom," she continued.

"Jade please sweetie let's not do this today alright? We had a ruff night."

"Alright."

We finished up in the bathroom and went down stairs. The house was quiet. I stumbled over towards the counter. Jade climbed onto the stool and sat down. I knew it was a bad idea to talk about what happened yesterday but it was an worse idea for her to hold her emotions inside. I'd done that and look where it's gotten me. I pulled two bowls from the cabinet and sat them on the counter.

"What would the Princess like this morning?" I asked with a smile.

"Lucky Charms," Jade chimed.

"Really?"

"Yes please."

I filled both bowls with cereal and milk, grabbed two spoons, and joined her.

After a few bites I decided it was time to be the parent and speak up. Jade looked at me slightly before lowering her head.

I swear sometimes it were as if she could read my mind.

"Momma I don't want to talk about it."

"Honey I understand. I didn't like talking about it either. But I promise talking will make you feel better."

"It makes me sad. I don't like to cry," She said as the tears formed in her eyes.

"You shouldn't be sad. He should be important to you. He's your father. I can't explain what's going on. I know that this is confusing you but I promise your pain will fade."

"I know," she murmured.

"He loves you and I know that wherever he is right now. He's truly sorry for the pain that he's put you through."

Jade gazed into my eyes, "And what about the pain that he's put you through?"

I sighed, "I don't feel any pain. Not anymore."

That's a lie Bella.

Shut up.

Okay Bella go in for the kill. Ask the million dollar question?

"Jade do you know what happened to your father?"

"No," she said sadly.

"He's never discussed any of that with you?"

"No. Sorry momma."

"It's alright. So Princess what's on the agenda today?" I asked, trying to fight back my tears. "We need to keep busy until Sam and Leah let's off of house arrest."  
Jade shrugged, "Movies, popcorn, you know momma the usual."

I chuckled, "Alright kiddo let's pop in a movie and back to bed we go."

Jade followed me out of the kitchen and up the stairs. She grabbed a movie from her room and rushed back into mine. I waited on the bed as she popped the movie into the DVD player. Jade climbed in the bed and snuggled in next to me. I wrapped the blanket around us.

"What are we watching?" I asked

"Cinderella."

After a few minutes into the movie I realized something. I had blown off Jeremy. Jeremy and I had made progress. I actually liked him. Some days he seemed too perfect for me. Then there were days when he reminded me that he was fit for me. I liked that. I had begun to realize just how much Jeremy was not Jake. They were two very different people. There were still things about Jeremy I did not know. But I found myself wanting to know more. A part of me felt as if I were betraying Jacob. But I was sure that he would have wanted me to move on. I grabbed my cell phone from the nightstand next to my bed. Jade was still watching the movie intently.

I flipped it open and texted Jeremy.

Sorry about yesterday.

Buzz.

Apology accepted. I'll let you make it up to me.

I smirked.

Sure. Sure I have to check my schedule and get back to you lol.

Buzz.

Burn…third degree. Someone is in a good mood today huh?

Maybe;) What are you up to?

Buzz.

Alba and I are at the art's and craft store. Incase you are wondering I am not the artistic one…Alba is.

I smiled to myself. I could imagine Jeremy being a painter.

Well I guess I can't ask you to paint a portrait of me.

Buzz.

An attempt would be nice.

Buzz.

I bet.

Buzz..

You haven't told me what you were up to?

You didn't askJ But if you must know I am watching Cinderella with Jade.  
Buzz.

I'm sensing a lack enthusiasm in your prior text. I thought women loved the idea of being swept off of their feet by prince charming.

We do. That is until some guy come along and ruin our dream of there actually being a prince charming.

Buzz.

So because of one guy you decide that your idea of a perfect man does not exist anymore.

Yes.

Buzz.

Why?

Because the one guy was perfect and then he did something completely stupid.

Buzz.

Which made him less than perfect. But that does not mean that your prince charming does not exist.

I rather not be that girl who searches for love. I'd rather not make the same mistake twice.

Buzz.

Well what if he came knocking at your door one day?

I bit my lip and gripped the phone tighter.

I'd probably let him in to sweep me off of my feet.

I had become impatient waiting for Jeremy to reply.

What is taking so long? Did I say something to upset him?

I sighed. The door bell ring a few times causing my heart to flutter.

Bella pull yourself together. There is no way that Jeremy is at your door. The nearest art store is in Seattle.

I stood to my feet.

"Jade, momma will be right back."

"Okay hurry," Jade said.

Her eyes never left the television. I walked swiftly down the hallway and rushed down the stairs. My heart was hammering inside of my chest as I grew closer to the door. I opened the door quickly. The air rushed through me. There was a little girl standing there. Her eyes were wide in wonder as she stared intensely at me.

"Hi there," I said folding my arms across my chest.

She smiled at me, "Hi I'm Alba."

I smiled warmly back at her. She was adorable. Her hair hung at shoulder length with bangs. She had huge grey eyes that seemed to sparkle.

"Hi Alba. It's so good to finally meet you," I said kneeling down to hug her.

Alba wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me back. After a few moments she pulled away.  
"Where is your father?" I asked.

She pointed over her shoulder. I saw Jeremy briskly trotting up the driveway.

"Where is Jade? I'm looking forward to meeting her," Alba's sweet voice chimed.

"She's upstairs. You can go in if you like."

Alba smiled as I stepped aside, allowing her to enter the house alone. I stood there breathless. My body had grown numb. Mostly from the cold air rushing through me and another small factor was that I had my night gown on which by the way is embarrassing but that did not matter at the moment. What mattered was that Jeremy was here. He was here, standing in front of me with a huge smile and a look in his eyes that showed just how much he wanted to be here with me. Jeremy reached out and grabbed my hand pulling me closer to him. His fingers laced with mine as he closed the distance between us.

"What are you doing here?" I asked confused.

"I missed you."

I missed you too but I will never have the guts to admit that as openly as you just did.

"I….um. Jeremy," I stuttered, avoiding his gaze.

Jeremy moved closer, wrapping his right arm around my tiny waist. His free hand lightly brushed across my cheek before tilting my head to meet his gaze. My eyes shifted from his gaze down to his lips that were parted and moist. My breath hitched as the heat spread throughout me like a wild fire. Without a thought I wrapped my arms around his neck as his lips brushed against mine. My eyes automatically closed as I concentrated on his breathing that were slow and steady.

"Bella?" He breathed out.

"Yes," I mumbled.

Suddenly his lips were melding into mine. Everything faded. I was not sure if it were the fact that Jeremy was kissing me or the fact that I were kissing a guy period that made my body explode. I was aching for his touch. Jeremy's tongue gently parted my lips beginning to taste me and I wanted nothing more than for him to do so. His strong arms were securing my against the heat of his. Our bodies were pressed against one another as his hands massaged the bare skin of my back.

I moaned into his mouth when he tried to pull away. Jeremy sucked my bottom lip into his mouth before pulling away. I sighed. My eyes were still closed.

"Bella open your eyes," he said.

I opened my eyes to see him with a smirk on his face.

Yea he realized that he took my breath away.

"I've been waiting to do that for a while," He said.

I stood there in shock for a few seconds. Jeremy's mood changed as he took a step back,

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…done"

"No," I protested. "I wanted you to."

Jeremy smiled lightly. I gazed over my shoulder and then back at him.

"We should um…you know.."

"Check on the girls," he added.

"Yes."

We enter the house quietly. Jeremy closed the door us. I was still in a lustful haze that was until I felt Jeremy's arms engulf my waist. Before I had any idea of what was occurring my back was pressed against the wall, legs wrapped around his waist, with Jeremy kissing me slowly. The kiss was painfully slow but burned my soul with longing and pent up frustration. The proper thing I could have done was pull away because I knew that the girls were upstairs but I couldn't. His body against mine felt amazing. The way his strong hand palmed my ass keeping me in place made my core pool with need.. Jeremy's kisses moved from my lips to my neck as his sucked and nibbled at my skin. My teeth rested tightly onto my bottom lip to stop my whimpering. The girls didn't need to hear me. Something inside of me had begun to question why did being with Jeremy feel right?

"Jere-my…we have to um…stop," I said breathlessly.

"Why?" Jeremy whispered into my neck.

"We can't," I said. "And the girls…they may hear us."

Jeremy's lips attacked mine again. His lips swallowed my words and even though I had been pleading with him to stop moments ago I was kissing him back again. He removed my body from the wall and placed a chaste kiss upon my lips once more before allowing me to stand.

"God Bella what are you doing to me?" He whispered.

"I don't know what's happen between you and I," I said. "But…I think I like it."

He chuckled before kissing my cheek.

Jeremy followed me up the stairs. We found Jade and Alba in my room. I was mortified.

Jeremy had never been in my room. I felt like a fifteen year old girl again. My eyes skimmed the room for anything embarrassing like panties.

That's it Bella? Panties? I'm sure there are plenty of other things in this room that are embarrassing.

"Momma," Jade chimed. "I have a new friend. This is Alba."

I smiled at her, "We have met already, Princess."

Jade smiled at Jeremy and leaped into his arms hugging him. It was amazing how much she had attached herself to him. Of course Jeremy was great with kids but I did not expect him to be amazing with my kid. Jade had always been cautious and hesitant with strangers. It often puzzled me that she was different with Jeremy.

"Jere," she chimed. "I missed you big guy."

We all chuckled at Jade's comment. Her bouncy curls clung to his jacket as she rested her head against him.

"I missed you too. How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I'm great. Did you miss momma too? She's been very sad. I think that she needs someone to make her smile."

Jeremy smiled lightly at her, "You know what? I agree with you."

Jeremy smiled his luminous smile at me. Sure of my blushing, I turned my attention to Alba  
who was gazing around my room awkwardly.

"What were you girls up to?" I asked.

" I've agreed to paint a picture of Jade," Alba said. "That is if it is alright with you?"

"That's really great Alba. Do you want to become an artist when you are older?"  
Alba nodded, "Yes I'd love that."

"What about you jade?" I turned my attention towards her. "What would you like to be when you grow up?"

"I want to be a wolf."

I nearly choked, "Jade you won't be a wolf."

"I can be if I believe in myself. That is what my teacher Mrs. Charlotte tells me. Do you want to hear me growl?" She said, leaping from Jeremy's arms. "I have a vicious snarl."

"Don't," I laughed uneasy. "I'm sure you have the perfect growl, princess but not now alright? Be a good girl Jade and show Alba to your room?"

"Okay momma. Come on Alba."

I watched as Jade and Alba disappeared through the door. My heart fluttered as I turned back to face Jeremy. His deep brown eyes peering into mine as he took a few steps closer to me.

"Does that bother you?" he asked incredulously

"What?"

"Jade's fascination with wolves."

"She does not have a fascination with wolves," I said wryly. "Everyday Jade becomes obsessed with something new. Today it's wolves and tomorrow she may want to be a tree. Who knows?" I shrugged.

"I know what you mean. Alba has quiet a few obsessions."

"Like?" I asked as I walked over to the bed and sat down.

"She's obsessed with painting."

"That's not so bad."

"It is when the paintings change consistently."

"What do you mean?"

"Alba loves to paint people. People change and when they do she alters the paintings. My basement is full of un finished art."

"She's really talented for a ten year old."

"She is very gifted."

"I think she gets it from her dad," I cooed.

Jeremy smiled, "So I was thinking that we could spend more time together," He said.

"I'd like that."

J.P.O.V. (Jeremy)

A few weeks later...

"Are you sure it is alright for me to be here?" I asked as I followed Bella down the beach. I held a firm grip on the birthday cake as I gazed around nervously. It was normal to be worried. After all I was Bella's boyfriend and this was Jacob's territory or at least it used to be. Yes I get that I should be mature but I also understood that not everyone would be in awe with our relationship.

"Will you stop doing that?" Bella said, gazing over her shoulder.

"Doing what?" I retorted.

"Thinking," Bella giggled. "Jeremy Crowe you think way to much. I promise that the La push men will play nice. Besides look at you. I'm sure that you can take them."  
I smiled inward, "It's not that. I mean…you don't think that by me coming here that…"

Bella stopped and turned to face me. I relaxed as her beautiful brown eyes held my gaze,

"This is not Jake's home anymore. He left everyone behind. No one will hate you because you're here with his ex wife."

"Technically speaking…," I began.

Bella glared at me, "Were not speaking technical right now. Jade wants you here. I want you here."  
"You mean you want me here, right now?" I smirked.

Bella chuckled, "You know what I mean. Just relax."

"Normally I am the one to remind you to do just that."

She smiled that breath taking smile of hers while turning around and continuing her stride. I notice a few people on the beach. As we walked further amongst the few people that were there were Leah and Rick. Suddenly I was feeling slightly better. I liked Leah. She was a good person and the reason that I met Bella. Rick had been my friend for a few years. I could remember our first encounter in Seattle as if it were yesterday.

Flashback…..

The night air consumed me as the fog clouded the streets. I was wiped out. My thoughts were relentless at what had occurred prior that day. My heart held a slow beat as I collapsed to the cold ground. The asphalt was damp as hands pressed firm against it. My back rested firmly against the brick building of what appeared to be an alley. My vision was weak as I closed my eyes tightly in concentration.

My focus was distant as voices echoed in the distance. I turned slightly to see figures at the end of the Alley.

"Where do you think your going?" A man spoke. "We had a deal."

"I'm sorry," Another one said. "I don't want to do this anymore. Just let me go. I promise not to tell anyone."

I watched as the men cornered a guy, taunting him viciously. I strained my eyes in an effort to see what was occurring but no luck availed.

"Of course you won't tell," One of them stated. "Because were going to kill you tonight. But not without a little fun first."

"Please…"

"Please what? Please give you the opportunity to squeal like that rat you are?" He yelled. "I don't think so. When your in there is no getting out, accept one."

Slowly I stumbled to my feet. My balance was unstable as I rubbed my eyes. I knew the effect magic had on my body. I had already suffered from helping an old friend out but I could not walk away. My hand pressed firmly against the brick wall helping me maintain my balance. Walking closer I stepped on what sounded like a soda can, catching the men attention. The taller one turned to me, "Looks like we have company. I guess tonight is our lucky night."

I could all but feel the cool steel that he held in his hand as I got closer. I felt the heat rise within me as I screeched, "Let him go."

"Why don't you make me?"

"You don't want that. I'd kill you in a blink of an eye," I hissed.

The sound of the gun echoed through the alley as he fired straight ahead at me. I felt the movement in body as a harsh sound rumbled from throat. I grunted as the first bullet struck me in the arm. As quick as a blink of an eye all three men were dead. My body collapsed onto the ground with an loud impact. I closed my eyes tightly.

The silent footsteps caught my attention quickly, "Hey man are you alright?"

"Help me up," I murmured.

He reached over to grab my hand only to have me grip his wrist. I restrained him against the brick building, "What is your name?"

"Rick," He managed to blurt out.

"Omnia vidisti videntur fore. Recordamini omnes qui erunt  
absunt. Omnia noueritis oblítus".

Rick's gaze fell flat as he stared at me confused, "Who are you?' He asked.

"You dropped this," I said hanging him a fifty dollar bill.  
Rick took the money from my hands and smiled, "Thanks. Hey man you seem hurt. Can I offer you a ride somewhere?"

"Thanks."

End of flashback…...

The sound of Leah's voice brought me back to reality. All thoughts of that night vanished into the depths of my mind as I watched their embrace.

"Bella," Leah chimed as she wrapped her arms around her tightly. "I missed you."

"Leah I just saw you a few hours ago," Bella smirked.

"I know. It's been forever. Hi Jeremy. I see your doing the heavy lifting," Leah greeted me.

I sat the cake down on a nearby table, "Just being a gentleman."

I wondered away from Bella and Leah as they began to chat and went over to talk with Rick who was stuffing his face. We were two very opposite people but Rick and I had been there for one another in times of need. Sure he was not the guy everyone thought that he should be. But it didn't have to be.

"Put down the snacks and no one gets hurt," I joked.

He turned to face me, "Jeremy, haven't seen you since Bella kidnapped you."

"Whatever," I smirked. "So I heard the great news?"

"I'm sure you have," He piped up.

"I still can't believe that you and Leah are going to be parents. No offense."

"None taken. I'm still adjusting to the morning sickness. I'm completely wiped out."  
I laughed, "Leah is the one who has to go through it."

"I go through the sickness too man. Imagine waking up to the smell of ice cream, chocolate, and pickle juice. That smell is not good on any man's stomach."

After a few minutes Rick and I decided to head back over to where Bella and Leah were setting things up. Shortly after more women and children appeared. I watched closely as Bella mingled with the guest. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. The way her blue jeans hugged her curves was amazing. Her white shirt was v cut right at her round firm breasts. Bella wore her long brunette locks of hair in a lose braid that rested in the middle of her back. I watched as she smiled with Leah and her laughter echoed loudly. No longer could I wait. I needed to be close to her. I walked closer to Bella and reached for her hand. Her fingers intertwined with mine as she smiled sweetly at me.

"Hi," she said. "Rebecca and the girls are about two minutes away. I'm so excited. This is jade's first party."

I squeezed Bella's hand lightly, "You did a great job. This bonfire will be amazing for her."

" You think that she will love it?" She asked worriedly.

I caressed the side of her face with my fingertips and gazed into her eyes, "Of course she will."

Bella smiled lightly as I leaned in to kiss her. Her lips were like rose petals as they intertwined with mine. Just as she slightly opened her mouth to deepen our kiss someone cleared their throat behind us.

Bella pulled away quickly. We turned to see a older man with raven black hair. He was in a wheel chair, a cold glare decorated his face as his attention shifted between Bella and I. She sighed awkwardly and removed herself from me.

"Hi, Billy."

Billy. Oh great.

Anger laced his voice as he spoke, "Sorry to interrupt but Sam needs you, Bella."

Bella turned to me, "Be right back," She said before taking off.  
I turned my attention back to the older man giving me dirty glares in his wheelchair.

"So," He started. "Jeremy, how are you?"

"Great," I replied nervously. "Your…umm.."

"Jacob's dad," He finished my sentence. "Yes I am. I've heard nothing but great things about you. I would believe that you are perfect but I've learned that no one is perfect."

I gulped back thickly and managed a smile, "Ok-ay."

"I'm going to be frank with you," Billy stated. "I don't like you around my granddaughter. I don't care for the relationship that you have with her. She does not need you to be a father to her."

I stared at him in disbelief, "Excuse me?"

"Jade does not need a father. She has one."

"I'm not trying to be Jade's father," I stated angrily. "And who are you to tell me what I can't be to Jade? I don't see your son around. If he were than you and I would not be having this conversation."

"You don't know the first thing about my son," Billy yelled angrily. "How dare you."

"I know that he walked out on Bella when she needed him the most. I know that he abandoned a beautiful baby girl and I do not respect a man who would do that to someone that I care for."

"You do not belong here," Billy shouted, causing people to stop and stared us. One of them were Bella. She began making her way over to us.

"Jacob does not own Bella. He is gone. What, did you think that Bella would sit around and wait for him to prance his ass back into her life?"

"Watch your tone," Billy warned. "She will never love you the way that she loves him. You will always be second place to a man that is no longer around."

"I will not," I could feel the heat rushing through my veins. It was not a good idea to get worked up here. Before I could speak again Bella's fingers intertwined with mine, "What's going on?" she asked confused.

"I want him out of here," Billy yelled. "He's a prick and I do not want him around Jade."

"Billy, your over reacting," Bella stated. "Can we discuss his later? Jade is a minute away."

"Sure. You and I can discuss this later," He stated.

I walked away from them in an attempt to calm myself. A few feet away I was stopped by

Bella's voice calling out to me, "Jeremy wait," she pleaded. "Whatever happened between you and Billy we can fix just…"

I turned to face her, "Should I be worried?"

"About?" Bella asked, folding her arms over her chest.

"If he comes back Bella," I stated. "If Jacob ever comes back will that change anything?"  
She paused for moment before looking into my eyes again, "It wont change anything. I will still feel what I feel for you."

I took a step closer to her, "And what do you feel for me? I need to know that you if he comes back I won't lose you because I….I love you Bella."

Bella closed the distance between us, "Billy is going through a lot. Don't let his words get to you. Jeremy I love you too. Your all that I think about other than Jade. You don't have to worry."

I wrapped my arms tightly around Bella's waist and pulled her into a hug; my lips pressed against her neck as I inhaled her scent. God she was so beautiful, perfect, and all mine. My grip became tighter as she whispered, "I really do love you."

"I hope it's enough," I replied.

#

Later that night Bella and I had a date. Jade and Alba went home with Leah and Rick. I was excited to do something romantic for her. Bella however hated that it was a surprise. She was dressed beautifully in a teal colored dress and black pumps. Her hair was curled to perfection and her make-up was flawless. The entire car ride was filled with questions, Bella attempting to get me to tell her where I was taking her. I didn't tell her a thing which resulted in Bella's cute little pout that she held all the way there. I led her out of the car and down the pathway.

"Can I open my eyes now?" She asked.

I smiled lightly and continued to cover her eyes with my hands as I led her closer to our destination. I was still surprised that I managed to get Bella to go out on a real date with me. My idea of a date was taking her out to dinner, adding a little romance, and sealing it with a kiss. Bella's idea of a date was crashing on the couch with Jade and Alba crammed in between us watching chick flicks. I enjoyed those nights with them but I also enjoyed alone time with Bella. I enjoyed kissing her without the casual, "EWWW", coming from Jade and Alba.

I led Bella up onto the boat. I was pretty sure that she had never been on a boat before and that part excited. The inside was dim lit. There was a pianist. I spent the entire morning making this place perfect. There were roses, chocolate covered strawberry's, a server, and a gorgeous view of the water. The moon cast light in the class windows onto us a I came to a complete stop.

Bella tensed. She was nervous.

"I really hate surprises," she said.

I chuckled, "I know. But I'm sure you will love this."

"Where are we Jeremy?"

"Here," I said as I removed my hands from her eyes.  
Bella grew quiet and she took a step forward, gazing around. I bit my lip, awaiting her response. She stood in front near one of the many windows quietly.

"So…what do you think?" I asked.

Bella turned to face me. That beautiful smile appeared on her face. I took a moment to admired her teal form fitted dress that hugged her curvy body perfectly with the sexiest pair of heels that I had ever seen. God she was a vision.

"No one has ever done something like this for me," She said.  
I walked closed to her, "You've never let them. I'd love to do things like this for you everyday."

She smiled, " Your are…"

"Wonderful? Amazing?" I asked humorously.

"No," she said. "Your perfect."

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, leaning in to kiss me. The kiss was slow and appeasing. She was showing me just how much she really appreciated all of this. I pulled away and lead her over to the table. I pulled out her chair. Bella sat down.

"I've never been romanced before," she stated.

I smirked, "Oh baby, you haven't seen anything yet."  
Bella and I spent the entire night laughing and stealing kisses. The date was perfect and I was in a blissful state. The way she smiled, the way her eyes sparkled when she gazed at me. Just a slight touch of her velvety skin made me excited, too excited. Bella leaned her head against my shoulder as we gazed at the beautiful view. The moon lit the sky as we appreciated the vision before us.

"Bella," I said.

"Yea?"

"I'm sorry about the argument with Billy."

She sighed and turned to face me, "I will handle it. I'm going to talk with him tomorrow.  
There is a lot that we have to discuss."

"How are your meetings with Dr. Shlong?"

"We are making progress but…."

I turned to face her, "But what?"

"I thought that I would feel better about all that has happened by now. I'm afraid that I will always hurt…this way."

I leaned in further, pressing my forehead gently against Bella's forehead. "It will all fade away soon. I promise."

B.P.O.V

To say I was upset with Billy was an understatement. He had been distant ever since Jacob vanished. Billy had no entitlement in my personal life and his approach with Jeremy made me angry. I was not sure if it were the fact that he questioned Jeremy's relationship with Jade or if it were his disrespectful demenor. But no matter what had my blood boiling the most, I would settle this once and for all. If Billy had been hiding something from me I wanted to know what. Billy and I had always been close that was until Jacob left. He shut the world out soon after. He would only talk to me or visit if it related to Jade. I hated the strain in our relationship but he had made it this way.

Last night with Jeremy had been magical. I tried my best to push all thoughts of my fucked up life to the furthest part of my mind for him and that alone took a lot out me. I had so many un answered questions, so much pent up frustration and anger, that it had consumed me today.

I exited the car. The cool air was thick as I made my way up onto the front porch. My tiny fist tapped repeatedly on the door. I sighed, pulling away, and waiting impatiently for him to answer. After a few moments the door opened and the familiar set of eyes gazed into mine.

"Bella, you should have called first," he stated.

"Jeremy make's me happy," I said, angrily. "He's good to me and good for me. Jade loves him and he gets along well with everyone."

"Jeremy is not good for you," Billy fired back. "And you should consider what you are doing to him. He's doing a great job at helping you forget about Jake but I'm going to let you in on a little secret, your heart will always cry out for my son."

I took a step closer, anger getting the best of me, "I love Jeremy ."

"I bet you have no clue as to why you love him. Wake up Bella. He's not your knight in shinning armor."

"And Jacob is?" I yelled. "You have no idea of the damage your son has done to me. You have no idea what the hell I have been through. I've always loved Jake. I would have moved mountains if he had asked me to. I trusted him and your right. My heart will always cry out for him. It's something that I have no control over. But…if I could I would erase every ounce of love that my body still bleeds for him."

"You have no idea of how noble my son has been," He stated.

"I need to know something," I said to him. "I need to know if Jacob talked to you before he left. I need you tell me the truth. Where is he?"

"Bella…"

"If you won't do it for me do it for Jade. You know something that you are not telling. It's eating away at you and that is why you shut everyone out. If you want to be pissed at me, fine. But help me to help my daughter. She needs her father and you know it."

Billy sighed, "I want to show you something."

Billy's wheelchair disappeared into the house. I followed him. My heart beat was inside of my throat as the light came on. I watched as Billy rumbled through a dresser drawer. After a few minutes he turned to face me, "Here."

J.P.O.V (JACOB)

I live in a hallway with only one door. Behind that door is memories. There is no one to save me from the blasphemy of this place. When I close my eyes everything is alright. I am no longer cold. She is no longer hurt. We are just Jake and Bella. We are us. But that is only in my memories.

Flashback…...

I paced back and forth frantically. Sure Bella was allowed to do what she wanted. I had no claim over her. But here I was, pacing back and forth, losing my damn mind every second that she was out of my sight.

It was seven o clock to be exact. It had been ten hours since our argument and exactly two hours since Bella decided to go on her first date. I hated the idea of Bella on a date. My feelings were confusing me a lot lately. Every time I gazed into those beautiful brown eyes of hers she pulled me in. Gravity had pulled me in deeper than I wanted to be and my heart was not agreeing with my brain anymore. I craved her and it didn't take to long for me to freak out.

I paused, running my hands roughly over my face.

What is she doing to me?

What do you think? My annoying inner voice began to banter. "You've fallen in love with her."

Have not…

Jacob, let's not be stubborn here. I know you because I am you. You are standing here feeling sorry for yourself when you should be out finding Bella. She could be letting some moron do horrible things to her and why? Oh because you told her that she would be your friend and nothing more.

I had to tell her that. I was protecting her.

From who?

Me!

You have to tell her.

No!

You have to tell her.

No!

Tell her!

Alright fine.

I grabbed my jacket from the bed and rushed down the stairs. Billy was in the living room. His attention shifted when he heard me. I didn't have time to stop. I just needed to get to her before she decided to do something that she would later regret.  
I had no idea of where she was so I called Charlie who seemed more than happy to tell me that she was having dinner at the diner. He was no fan of James, Bella's date.  
Well neither am I.

The one thing that I was still unsure about was how do I tell here? How could I interrupt her date and tell her how I feel? I was not entirely sure of what I felt at that moment but I knew that something had changed between us and there was no turning back.  
When I reached the diner the first thing that I saw was Bella. She and James were sitting by the window. The smile on her made my heart clinch. She seemed to be enjoying her date. Turning the ignition off, I sat quietly for a moment mentally debating on what to do next. There was only one thing that I could, one thing that my heart told me was the right thing to do.

I got out of the car and walked into the diner. As I approached, the look on Bella's face was livid. She had every right to upset with me after what I had said to her and she could kick and scream every second that would take me to get her out of here but I had to tell her the  
truth.

"What are you doing here?" She asked angrily.

"We need to talk," I said, gazing into here eyes.

"No we don't," she retorted. "We have talked enough. I'll take a rain check on conversation with Jacob Black."

"Bella," I began. "We are not doing this right now. Come with me or…"

"Or what?"

"Or I'll call Charlie," I said.

"Don't you dare call my dad."

"Oh I will and I have an ear full for him as well," I shouted.

Bella slammed her napkin down onto the table and stood to her feet. She turned to face James, "This will just take a second."

"Sure," He stated.

I chuckled, "It's going to take longer than a second," I smirked. "You may want to send for the check."

"Jacob," She yelled, proceeding in front of me. "Come on."

I followed Bella out into the darkness. The cool air embraced us as she folded her arms securely around her and stood away from me, "Well…"  
"I'm sorry."

"You've said that all ready," She replied sarcastically. "Listen I think that maybe we should not be friends anymore. I would hate to confuse what we are by what my heart wants from you. You don't have to reciprocate my feelings and you sure as hell don't have to feel bad for me."

"Bella listen to me…"

"I'm tired of listening to you explain why we are better off as friends. I get it. You've have got your point across. Bella and Jacob are only friends," She yelled.

Say it. Come on, Jake tell her the truth. Sure you don't want to lose her friendship but if you don't say something and fast you will lose her completely.

My brain did not form the words that my heart want to say. As Bella started to walk away I did the one that I could do to fix this. I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her waist tightly. The look in her eyes shattered my heart into a million pieces, "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Jake."

"I'm sorry for what I said to you. The truth is….I'm in love with you. We are young Bells and the feelings that I have for you scared the hell out of me. I panicked and said things that I didn't mean. You are everything to me….everything."

Before Bella could respond my lips captured hers. They melded perfectly together. Her lips were like clouds and I had been taken completely in by her smell, her touch, her being. Bella moaned contently and that beautiful sound alone pulled at my heart strings. I didn't want to let her go. I wished that we could stay that way forever.

Bella pulled away. She kept her eyes shut savoring the moment.

"Bells, open your eyes."

She opened them, a few stray tears falling down her cheeks. I wiped them away.

"I'm in love with you too."

After that I took Bella to first beach. We had a long talk where she stood in my life. I needed her to accept the change in me. Most of the pack told their imprints immediately what they were but I didn't. I waited until I thought that she could handle it and when I told her that night Bella reacted the way that she should have. She stood to her feet and wrapped her arms around me. She accept me who I was and looked forward to everything that we would be.

The first time that we made love was magical. We were walking to our favorite spot beyond the trees. Bella had on jean shorts, a tee shirt, and I was pretty sure that she went braless. My teenage hormones had begun to get the best of me and I almost hardly ever kept my hands to myself.

Bella gazed over in my direction and smiled, "So I was thinking,,,,"

"You bells, thinking?" I joked. "That's a stretch."

"Ha ha very funny but yes I was thinking that I should throw you a birthday party."

I shot her a death glare and rolled my eyes, "A party? Why?"

"Because Jake," she whined. "You've never had one. They are so much fun."

"I don't like parties," I blurted out.

"God black, you are a real party pooper," she stated.

I could feel the storm coming. I had always been able to sense the change in weather, wolf senses. But I liked the idea of seeing Bella completely drench. We stopped for a moment so that she could tie her shoes. Watching her bend to tie them was painful. Bella gazed at me confused and rested against a tree opposite of me.

"A storm is coming," I said.

"How long do you think we have?" she asked.

I walked closer to her, "Depends on what were talking about here," I stated.  
Her heart beat picked up as I traced the outline of her lips with my finger tip.

"Jake," she said. Her voice was heavy with lust.

In one swift motion I gripped her waist pulling her to me. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around my neck and smiled taking all of me in. My hands trailed down her sides, her eyes were still lit with desire as I began my assault on her neck, forcing Bella's legs up around my waist and pressing my hardened member against her core.

"Oh Jake," She breathed out through pants as my teeth grazed my skin.

I pause for a second and smiled sweetly at her, "Bells I love you. But if you are not ready I can..."

"Don't stop Jacob," she moaned.

I pressed harder against her and every thought released it's self from my brain. My entire brain had powered down. The only thing on my radar was Bella and her body. I could feel every fiber of her milky skin as her body wrapped around mine. My tongue danced down he her neck as I continued to explore her. Soon enough my soft, pink, and hot tongue lapped circles around her harden nipples slowly causing Bella to moan in intense pleasure. Bella moaned my name, whimpering, and begging me not to stop. Her mind, body, and soul, belonged to me and every time that I touched her every limb burned to the core.

I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth, "Bella," I whispered against her lips. "God I love you so much.."

"I love you too," I whispered against his ear.

I sighed as she worked to unbutton my pants. My member was standing at attention as she palmed it, stroking it softly while licking her lips and leaning her head back against the tree. I watched her loving me.

"Shit Bells," I said gripping Bella's wrists and moving her hands away. In one swift movement I removed my shirt exposing my body to her, My pants slid down moments later. Bella gazed at me speechless. She nodded once more giving me the answer to my internal question.

"Make love to me, Jake."

It was not the most romantic setting but that did not matter. I wanted her always and it did not matter where we were, that would never change.

I removed her clothing slowly, exploring every inch of her body until we could not longer stand it. I hoisted her to my bed, her legs wrapped instinctively around my waist as I positioned myself at her smooth wet entrance.

"Jake," she whined. "God…."

"I'm sorry bells. Grip tighter okay, " I mumbled. "Your so beautiful Isabella Swan."

Every inch with every stroke made Bella whimper and grip tighter onto me.I came to a resistance and whispered, "Grip tighter Bella."

With one quick thrust I broke barrier between us. Bella's nails dug into my back. I allowed her to adjust to me before continuing again. My thrusts were slow and deep as I kissed her soft pink lips.

"Jacob," She screamed as her walls tightened around me. Bella's first orgasm approached. My right hand kneading the bare skin of her side and I pumped in and out causing her to gush over me.

"That's it bells," I said. "You feel so good."

I leaned in to kiss my lips. The passion and lust radiating from her as my hand rested between her thighs on her silky button causing Bella to quiver at contact. It did not take long for us both to find relief from the sexual frustration we had been succumbed to.

I had never wanted anything so much. Reminding myself of the times that we shared helps. But only a while and then I'm right back where I pain eating away at me more than she could ever imagine and more than I can stand. What happened the other day was a mistake. But I couldn't resist any longer. I've resisted the urge to reach out to her. Bella didn't need me to be any more of a burden in her life now that she had attempted to find happiness. It hurt that someone else had offered her something that I was more than willing to give. The only problem was that I couldn't. I could never be what she needed again.

Jade did not deserve what I had done to her. I loved her more than I ever thought possible. Her laughter was all that I held on to. She loved me unconditionally but not because I am her father but as a being. What happened to me was a tragedy that I would give anything to make right for both Jade and Bella. I've watched Bella tear herself down and rebuild. She is a stronger woman because of me. I would never forgive myself if something happened to them. Bella had been no stranger to the trail of death and the last time Jade was too. What happened with the red headed leech was hard to think of. I thought that I was strong enough to take her out but what happened was far worse than you could imagine.


	7. Chapter 6 Rebecca

A/N: Hey guys so once again I managed to take forever with an update. I'm sorry time management is not my thing. Anyway, I want to add a new character alert. Another heads up, if you happen to re-read this chapter at a later date and it's slightly different that is because I will be re-posting the Beta'd version. This chapter is currently not Beta'd so it's a little rough. I was just excited for you to see what happens next:) This chapter does contain adult language and themes. You have been on with it already, Dawn.

Beta:Rocksteady54

**Song suggestions**- Civil Twilight-Letter's from the sky, Maroon 2- Never leave this bed, Ben Harper- Amen Omen, and Birdy-Skinny love

"Momma," Jade chimed. "There is a stranger in our home."

I turned from the mirror, an exasperated look was upon my face as I made my way over towards the bedroom door.

"Jade," I yelled. "What did momma tell you about opening the door without telling me?"

"I don't remember," she beamed. "Grandpa Charlie says when opportunity knocks we should open the door."

I smiled lightly, "That is a figment of speech."

"Yeah but how would I know if it was an amazing opportunity knocking if I did not open it?" She said while grabbing my hand. "Come…"

I followed her reluctantly down the stairs. As we reached the bottom I smiled widely. The stranger embraced me with a hug. I sighed and gripped tightly, unable to form coherent sentences. She pulled away and smiled brightly.

"Rebecca…oh my god!" I said reaching in to hug her again. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you think?" she smiled "You didn't think I'd go forever without seeing my niece did you? Bells, how have you been?"

"Great actually," I smiled. "I thought you went back to New York after Jade's party."

"I wanted to," she said. "Believe me I did but being home with family just felt right, ya know."

, "Well I am so happy that you decided to stay, Becks. We can see more of you now."

She smiled sincerely. But I could see the ongoing tears lingering in the corners of her eyes. My heart went out to Rebecca. She was always so kind to me. Jake and Rebecca were extremely close. Even though she had taken a teaching job across the country, she still managed to be there for him whenever he needed her.

She was a strong woman, strong and driven. I idolized her.

When Jade was born I sort of hoped whatever gene Billy had passed on to both Jake and Rebecca, that it would be passed onto Jade. Rebecca rarely had time to visit. Her life had always been extremely busy and the fact that she lived across the country in New York did not help that little factor.

We moved our conversation into the living room. Jade sat in front of the television with her dollys. Rebecca sat on the couch. I stood in the archway with my arms folded tightly. I felt the need to console her and let her know that she was not alone. I had never been through what she had but that did not mean that I did not care or have knowledge of how much it hurt. I watched intently as Rebecca eyed Jade's every move.

It never occurred to me how much she and Jade looked alike. Rebecca had cut her long raven black hair into a side swept bob. She had brown highlights now. Her eyes were the same, onyx, dark as night like Jake's. Her skin always seemed to shimmer like glitter.

She was always well dressed, like as business woman. She was 31 to be exact. Her smile beamed like Jade's. She was beautiful, almost flawless.

As she eyed Jade, a small smile appeared on her lips. She was focused on Jade and did not notice my gaze was fixed on her. I watched as she turned slightly, startling Jade as she sat up straight to look at her.

"You're like an angel," she smiled. "A beautiful angel."

"I get to be an angel too?" Jade asked "Momma says I'm a princess."

"You are?" Rebecca said almost animated "Really?"

"Yes," Jade beamed. "I'm Jade Emilia Black, princess of La push."

"That's so cool," Rebecca smiled as she turned to face me. "I wish my mom had declared me a princess."

I laughed, "We watch the princess diaries a lot."

"I can tell," she joked. "Don't mind me today has been a long day."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

Her smile faded. Something was wrong. Rebecca came back for another reason. I was concerned. I joined her on the couch, taking her hands into mine. The tears began to form in her eyes.

"Jade?"

"Yes Momma?" she said as she turned to face me.

"Why don't you go upstairs and play for a few minutes alright? Momma need to speak with Aunt Rebecca."

"Okay," Jade chimed as she stood to her feet. She walked over to Rebecca and peaked her softly on the cheek. " I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart," Rebecca said.

"A few minutes okay?" I promised as I gazed into her eyes.

"Yes."

I watched as Jade skipped towards the stairs and disappeared. I turned on the baby monitor that sat on the coffee table before turning back to face Rebecca.

"Becks?"

"I'm getting a divorce," she said. The tears fell from her eyes. I reached for her hand.

"Oh honey…"

"I can't do this anymore Bella. I can't put myself through this pain. Miles and I  
argue. We argue a lot and it's not getting any easier," she said as she wiped a few stray tears from her cheek.

"No one said marriage would be easy."

" I have been engaged to Miles since I was sixteen. We eloped and agreed to start a family when I turned twenty five. I'm thirty one. That's six years Bella.  
For six years I've tried to give him what he wanted. I tired to make the one thing I've dreamed about happen and I can't. What's wrong with me?" She sobbed. "Why did god choose to punish me like this? I can't have children. All of my life I felt as if I were born to be a mother. Taking care of Jacob and Rachel felt natural to me. I protected them when they needed to be protected. I nurtured them when they needed it. I didn't sleep for nights on end because of school and being there for them. Caring for them had prepared me for the day when I decided to have children of my own. Giving life to a beautiful baby was what I anticipated for years. I was so close. You have no idea what It felt like to give birth to a baby and have the doctor tell me seconds later that he is not breathing. You can't imagine how much that hurt me. For nine months I carried baby Wyatt inside of me without any complications. I did it and then suddenly he's gone. Our little boy is gone. How do I recover from this? What did I do to deserve this?"

My tears had began to fall as I pulled her in for a hug. My grip became tighter as her sobs increased. There was nothing I could say to make her feel any better. There was nothing anyone could say to help ease the pain. Rebecca had been through a lot. I could never imagine what it felt like to lose a child. Jade had become my life. I did not exist without her. She was truly a blessing. It amazed me that someone like me could give birth to such a beautiful baby girl and someone like Rebecca could not. She did not deserve what she was going through. Rebecca was a kind soul. Her husband Miles was the same. I had never met two people as beautiful on the inside as they were.

She pulled away from my embrace.

"Are you sure you want to go through with the divorce?"

"Miles should be with someone who can provide everything he want in life," she replied despaired.

"Tell me something Becks, does Miles want a divorce?"

Rebecca shook her head no, "He does not want a divorce. But a divorce will help this situation. I can't be married Bella. I can't live with the fact that we will always be alone and after losing the baby I can't try to get pregnant again. There is no way I can endure this any longer."

"I'm so sorry Rebecca. Really I am."

"Bella…I love you and I love Jade. I just need to be with family now. I've lost my connection with you all over the past couple of years. I feel like such a stranger. This will hurt for a while but I know with the help of family I will overcome this."

I nodded melancholy, "You had your reasons. This place makes you think of Jake."

"Yea," she said. "I love my brother. I know it hurt you to hear things about him but I really need an ear right now. I lost one person that I love. I know that I should not think like that, that I should hope for the best but I would rather believe that Jake is gone than to believe that he abandoned everyone in the way that he has."

I sighed in irony and held my head down, "I use to think that…a lot," I murmured.

"I didn't," she admitted. "But lately I can't stop thinking of him. When my mom died Billy looked to me to fill that void. Jake talked to me about everything. He even talked to me about you. That's part of the reason that I care for you so much. You changed him. He did not know who he was until you came along."  
My gaze fell on her again. I'd never want to upset her but I was not willing to take a journey down memory lane.

"Rebecca please…"

"I know Bella. I'm sorry," she apologized.

"It's fine if you talk about him. Jade speak of him often but I don't think about what we had. It's gone now," I said tenaciously.

"I know and again I'm sorry."

"You can stay here if you like. I could always use the company I guess. But there is something I have to tell you first."

She smiled lightly, "What is it?"

"I um…I sort of have a boyfriend."

Rebecca's face lit up in humor as she smiled, "Are we speaking of that gorgeous man that never left your side at Jade's birthday bonfire. I thought you said he was only a friend. I did not know you were dating."

I blushed and avoided her gaze, "We went on one date that ended badly. But yes,  
Jeremy is my boyfriend. It is still weird to say the word boyfriend."

"Oh wow Bella," Rebecca laughed. "Bella Swan has a boyfriend. That's wonderful."

"Thanks Becks for your support and not freaking out on me like Billy did," I said. "But you are welcome to stay as long as you need."

"Dad is just being dad. He is still waiting for Jacob to walk back through the door. Just give him some time. If Jeremy is a great guy he will come around,"

Rebecca smiled, " I still can't believe it. Bella has a boyfriend who is not my brother. I never thought I'd see the day."

I chuckled,"Neither did I."

I sat at the kitchen counter and watched Jeremy closely. It still amazed me that someone could cook better than I could. I admired the way his pants fitted his tight ass as he moved back and forth, from the counter to the stove. I leaned back slightly, crossing my legs as I watched him. Honestly I could do this all day, watch him that is.

He turned slightly in my direction, "You Know Bella I can feel your eyes on my ass," He said humorously.

I bit my lip and resisted the urge to beg him to take me. It was hard to not be sexually active with someone like Jeremy. His body taunted me viciously. My body constantly betrayed me whenever he was near me.

"What are you making? It smells great. I kind of love coming home to see you in my kitchen cooking dinner," I said flirtatiously.

"It is nice isn't it?"

"You have no idea," I exhaled.

Jeremy put the lid back on one of the many pots placed on the stove. He turned on his heels, his eyes boring into mine as he made his way over toward the counter. I leaned forward in my chair to kiss him. His soft lips pressed against mine as his lips parted. Our tongues intertwined greedily. Jeremy's kisses were always very passionate and deep. It was easy to get lost in him and every part of me wanted him to get lost deeply inside of me. He pulled away with a faint chuckle causing me to whimper at the sudden lost of contact.

"I want to get a tattoo," I said as I traced the outline of his cool looking tattoo on the inside of his wrist, "Did you come up with this tattoo yourself?" I asked.

"Just some symbol I came across in the parlor. There's nothing unique about it."

As I gazed down at his tattoo it seemed familiar, as if I had come across it before. Pushing the thoughts away I smiled and leaned in to kiss his moist, plump lips again. I loved the feeling he gave me. His lips graced upon mine as I leaned forward wrapping my arms around his neck. Jeremy pulled away slightly, "Where is Jade and Alba?"

"Rebecca took them out for ice-cream. Secretly I am petrified. Do you care to take my mind off of it?"

He smirked, wrapping his strong arms around my waist, hoisting me across the counter. He placed me on top of it, his beautiful body positioned between my thighs as he kissed me feverishly. I moaned into his lips before running my tongue across his bottom lip. Jeremy opened up, tasting me as our tongues danced together forcefully seeking domination of the other. His hands gripped tightly around my waist pulling me closer to him. Instantly I felt his erection pressed against me. Just that alone had begun to cloud my judgment. Jeremy and I both agreed to go without sex for as long as possible. He felt that because he reminded me of Jake that we should not. He wanted my feelings to be based on who he was as a person and not just because I was physically attracted to him for other reasons. Though I agreed with him, the whole 'no sex' policy was beginning to wear thin on my patience. I was horny all the time and being this close to him did not help my situation.

Jeremy tried to pull away but I locked my fingers together tightly around his neck, forcing his lips back to mine. He obliged as I wrapped my legs instinctively around his waist grinding against him. His firm hands slid under the hem of my shirt. They traveled around to my back, resting under the clasp of my bra. Jeremy pulled away slightly leaving me panting and bothered.

"Bella…god we have to stop," he breathed out. "like now."

"Please," I whined as I scooted closer to him. "We don't have to touch me," I said gripping his wrist and moving his hand up my thigh. "Jere," I moaned.  
"Just touch me there."

I was being aggressive. I had become a little nymph with the sudden urge to touch and be touched. I wanted to be caressed and loved by Jeremy.

He smirked, "You do know that we are about to cross the line?"

"I won't tell if you don't," I winked at him.

His lips crashed on to mine again. I gripped the counter top with both hands as his finger gracefully danced up my thighs. He gripped my panties and slid my panties down my thighs. His moist lips peppered kisses down my neck as he sucked the skin of my neck into him mouth. I threw my head back as he pushed my legs further a part. I closed my eyes, my body tensed as he got closer to where I wanted him. I wanted this so badly but a part of me was afraid. We had never been intimate and it has been so long since I felt the explosive feeling inside of me. My body was on edge.

"Bella," he whispered. "I can stop if you-"

"No please god don't stop," I moaned.

Jeremy dipped two fingers into my core. His stroke was slow and patient. My hips bucked instinctively against his hand as his lips moved back to mine, "Your so wet. You feel so good," He murmured into my lips.

His fingers moved deeper as he added a third, stroking and curling within me. I was moaning loudly begging and pleading for this and more. My body felt alive. My skin tingled as I felt the sensation in the pit of my stomach grow inside of me taking me limb from limb.

"Your so tight," he whispered in my ear. "How does it feel?"

My lips could not form coherent thoughts so I just reacted. The only desire I had was to feel. The desire I had at that moment was to show him how much I wanted him. At first my body only wanted these things because he looked like Jake. But I had learned over the past two months that he and Jake was completely opposite on the inside. Jake was an outdoors person. He loved nature and everything nature consisted of. Jeremy was a book worm which I though was completely hot. He was also professor at a community college in Seattle.. He was probably one of the hottest professors on campus. He taught social sciences. Jeremy also liked to go out and buy me things even though I asked him not to. Jake was more of a homebody. His attention was focused on family and not the things that existed outside of La push. The similarities between the two of them were slim to none. But I still had to admit the appearance was a little too damn close. I learned that Jeremy was of Native American descent though he had not spent much time explaining his heritage to me.

My mind went blank as I felt the my orgasm approach.

"So good Jere," I moaned. "Oh god I'm gonna come."

"Your so beautiful. Open your eyes and look at me."

As I rocked my hips faster, I opened my eyes to see his deep eyes full of lust and glaring back at me. He sucked my bottom lip in to his mouth. My body began to shake and soon enough that blissful feeling took a hold of me. My screams filled the air as he continued to pump in and out of me. I had forgotten how good this all felt. Jeremy kissed me feverishly as he removed his fingers from me. He pulled away slowly as he sucked his fingers into his beautiful mouth enjoying my sweetness.

"You taste as good as you feel."

"Enjoy," I smiled, as a laugh rolled from my lips. "Because that's dinner. I think you burned the food."

"Shit," he said.

Quickly he removed himself from me. I watched as he turned the stove off and removed the pots. I got up from where I sat and joined him at the stove, wrapping my arms around his waist while resting my head on his back. I ran my hands over his torso through his shirt and smiled into his back inhaling his cologne.

"You are such a distraction," he chuckled.

"So are you."

Jeremy turned in my arms and gave me a peck on the lips. It was both soft and sweet, " Your amazing," he whispered into my lips.

"Well if you insist," I smirked.

"Look who is full of themself now," he said pinching my side.

"Owe," I shouted. "That's going to leave a mark."

"C'mere," he smiled making me blush. "Let me kiss it."

"No," I pouted, rushing into the living room. Jeremy followed me, tackling me to the couch playfully. I giggled as I laid on my back with him positioned between my thighs. I bit my lip as he lifted my shirt. His gaze never left mine. It amazed me how he could look at me like that. As if I were the most beautiful girl in the world. There was a tiny red mark right at my lower left half. His head lowered. I arched my back as his lips came into contact with my stomach. My core grew wet just by his contact. He kissed the red spot repeatedly. The heat increased within me as my eyes closed..

"God," I whimpered. "You are about to cross the line."

"I won't tell if you won't," he used my previous line. When there was no objection from me, his lips parted and I felt his tongue. His beautiful, soft, moist tongue was on me. Oh god!

The door knob turned. Jeremy's lips left my body, his head popped up slightly as he gritted his teeth. I chuckled and sat up on my elbows, "Later?"

"I have a ton of papers to grade," he sighed. "As much as I don't want to I'm going to take a rain check."

"Your no fun," I said and pushed him from me as I got up. He stood up from the couch and turned his attention toward the door. Jade's laughter chimed throughout the house as she skipped in and dropped her book bag to the floor. She pushed her hair away from her face and turned her attention toward the living room.

"Jere," she shouted joyously and she removed her coat. Jade rushed over to him. He picked her up as she embraced him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I'm a little jealous," I said folding my arms.

Jade removed her head from his shoulder and turned to me, "Sorry mommy. How are you?"

I laughed lightly at her, "I am fine, sweetheart."

Rebecca stumbled through the doorway with Alba on her trail. She let out a sigh and closed the door behind them. She made her way into the living room, flopping down onto the couch.

"You won't believe what happened at the ice cream shop," Rebbecca started.

"What?" I asked incredulously.

" We wanted cookies and cream ice cream and the jerk at the cash register refused to go to the freezer in the back and stock it. As I was about to take the girls and leave his ice cream machine went haywire. I mean there was ice cream everywhere. I'd never seen anything like it."

Alba chuckled, "I thought it was rather funny."

"So did I," Jade chimed. "He should take his show on the road."

Jeremy shot Alba a concerned look and then turned back to me, "Kids."

I shrugged, "I guess so."

...

Another sleepless night welcomed me with open arms. As I gazed around my room everything in it left me empty. I didn't trust myself to be alone at all. But I knew what was best for me. Sighing loudly, I closed my eyes. The darkness behind my lids suppressed my inner turmoil. But that was only for a moment. Eventually when I opened them again reality set back in. I sat up on the bed. The mystery journal had began to haunt me from it's position on top of my computer desk to the far right of my room. Every ounce of will power that I possessed had been drained from my body. There was nothing left for me to give. I did not have it in me to fight any longer. If I opened the Pandora's box that held my feelings for

Jacob completely the eternal struggle would be over.

I would put everything I had into him. That seemed like the perfect idea eight years ago but that was then. If I gave my all to him there would be nothing left of me to give to Jade. Jeremy would leave me for sure. I sat on the edge of my bed and clenched my fists tightly. The tears formed in my eyes. Why did this decision have to be difficult? Why couldn't I just be happy with Jeremy, with our relationship, and let go of Jacob? I stood to my feet and began to pace back and forth. Sobs echoed inside of the room as I threw my hands over my tear filled eyes and cried into them. Placing my back firmly against the wall I slid down onto the floor. Never had I been so torn over the right thing to do. I removed my hands from my eyes and gazed at my ring finger. My hands were wet from my tears. There was no ring there but I still felt as if I had a duty to my husband.

Jeremy, my boyfriend, my rock, the one person who helped me realize that I had a problem and that there was a solution, would not be happy to find me in the floor crying over my ex. Slowly, I lowered myself sideways and curled myself into a ball. I was thankful that Jade and Alba had gone to Leah's for a few hours to help with the baby's room while Jeremy ran a few errands. I was alone again and although I promised him that I would be fine I was not.

"Jake," I said aloud as my eyes closed.

I felt warm arms around me Without opening my eyes I snuggled in closer to him and buried my face in his neck. Jeremy chuckled lightly and hugged me tighter to him. His moist lips pressed firmly against my cheek repeatedly until I opened my eyes. We were in the dark.  
_  
Shit! I had slept the entire day._

"Jere, why didn't you wake me?" I asked.

"You were exhausted," he said. "You needed to rest."

"There is no rest when your a parent," I objected. "There is too much to do. Jade has to eat and do her homework. I have to read to her and force her to brush her teeth," I rambled.

I grew frustrated not being able to see his beautiful face. Jeremy lips were on my neck now as he mumbled into it. A slight moan escaped my lips as his tongue made contact with my skin. The tongue to skin contact as maddening. But it ended as soon as it began.

"Relax," he stated. " The girls had Chinese takeout, their homework is completed, Alba actually read to Jade, and I got Jade to willingly brush her teeth."

"How did you get her to do that?" I inquired.

"If I tell you I'll have to kill you," Jeremy joked.

"Sure," I laughed. "Spill already."

"Bubble gum tooth paste."

"Really?"

" It's really amazing what a kid will do for amazing flavor. As always I did a good deed today. What's my reward?" he asked humorously.

"A ton of these," I said as my lips found his in the dark.

"I can live with that."

As Jeremy held me tightly to his chest I listened to his slow and steady heartbeat. His breathing was leveled. I could tell that he had fallen asleep a while ago. My fingertips traced his fore arm in the dark. I gazed over at the clock on the wall.

Two am and I was still awake allowing his heartbeat to soothe me. Whenever we were together we were in sync. Our bodies molded perfectly onto one another. I was grateful to have someone so special in my life. So beautiful, that was what

Jeremy was to me both inside and out. Maybe my feelings for Jake would magically disappear along with him. Then I would be able to open my heart completely and give myself to Jeremy. A part of me feared that would never happen and before I knew it tears began to fall from my eyes only this time my tears fell for another man. I hope sleep would welcome me soon.

"Wake up, sleepy mommy," Jade sang into my ear. I smiled lightly as I opened my eyes, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her onto the bed. Jeremy was still asleep on the opposite side of me . As Jade's tiny frame came in to contact with the bed in-between us his eyes fluttered open slightly. I planted kisses on her face before she pulled away.

"More kisses," I said to holding her in my arms. Jade chuckled and planted another on my cheek. "Momma loves your kisses."

"We have to call aunt Leah," she said. "I picked out her baby's name. I want to tell her before I forget."

I smiled, "That's sweet," I said. "But I'm sure Aunt Leah and Rick want to pick their beautiful baby name themselves."

Jade frowned, "But mom," she whined. "I happen to think Susie is a beautiful name."

"It's beautiful sweetheart. We will call her later ok?""

She beamed at me before saying, "Alright. Alba and I fixed breakfast."

Jeremy's eye's opened and he quickly removed himself from my bed to my disappointment. He seemed startled as if something had scared the holy shit out of him. I frowned. I wanted to cuddle with him for a little while longer. Jade and I gazed at him in confusion as he stared down at as emotionless.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I have to go," He murmured as he put on his shoes.

Crawling to the edge of the bed where he stood only inches away, I reached out him. When he didn't respond rejection washed over me. I watched as Jeremy grabbed his bag and headed for the door.

"Jeremy," I called out to him.

"I will call you later," he said coldly.

His loud footsteps disappeared down the hallway. Tears formed in my eyes as fear over came. Jade was at my side in a instant. Her huge brown eyes seeping into my soul. Her face seemed to mirror mine. Pulling her closer I held her to me, enjoying her warmth.

"Is Jeremy mad at us for waking him up?" she asked.

I shrugged, "Let's hope not."

**Jeremy's point of view)**

_Ever!_

Fuck, why did she have to summon me. It's been years since she abandoned me. The last thing I needed was to deal with her and whatever danger followed her. A part of me wanted to go back to Bella and apologize for the way that I left. I needed to do that. Hurting her was not an option. I would make it up to her but for now I had to deal with my past. Alba sat quietly next to me on the sofa in our living room. We watched as Ever swayed around the living room admiring everything in the way that she normally did. She spoke very little in the past hour. That alone put my brain in a frenzy. Ever had never been a woman of few words. In my worse nightmare Ever had come back to claim the life that I had. That day had come unfortunately.

Her appearance had not changed over the years. Her long tassels of blonde hair hung curly at the middle of her back as it always has. Ever's eyes were a soft cinnamon and inviting. Very little clothing had been her forte. But today she was fully dressed in jeans, black boots, and a cropped tee shirt.

After admiring every square foot of my place she joined Alba and I in the living room sitting across from us. I was on edge wondering what she would say next.

"How did you find me?" I asked coldly.

"Jeremy," she smiled graciously. "You know me far to well to ask such ignorant questions. I missed you."

"You didn't miss me."

"Oh but I did," she said. "That is why I'm here."

This conversation would turn ugly soon. The last thing I wanted was for Alba to feel threatened. If she did bad things would happen. Ever and I had our disagreements but I could never hurt her. Alba would not be tarnished by my past.

I turned to my daughter. She did not seem afraid only curious. I smiled lightly,  
"Alba why don't you go to your room and paint while daddy and his good friend Ever talk."

"Alright," she said. I watched as she walked up the stairs taking one last glance over her shoulder to look at me. When Alba was out of sight I turned back to Ever.

"Thank god," Ever stated relieved. "I really hate walking on egg shells with you, Jeremy."

"What are you doing here? I thought you found a better way in life, full of peace and tranquility," I stated smugly.

She shrugged, "My life had become a waste. I mean what sort of woman would I be if I continued to live that way."

"Normal," I added. "You would have been a normal human being, Ever."

"Fate has a way of fucking us over doesn't it? That life was not chosen for me. Don't you ever get tired of running, Jeremy? It's really a shame that you would waste your ability like this."

"I'm not wasting anything," I said angrily.

"But you are," Ever said as she crossed her legs. "Your throwing away an amazing gift. Don't you feel it? I can. Just being in the same room with you does something to me. I feel stronger, powerful."

"Ignore it," I said.

"I can't. You don't feel the need because you cast that ridiculous freedom spell. It will wear off soon Jeremy and when it does you'll be as desperate to be near me as I am to be near you."

She was right. It would wear off soon and I would be drained. Ever closed her eyes and rested her slender frame against the chair holding her weight.

"This is nice."

"Ever," I snapped. "Why are you here?"

She opened her eyes and gave me a flirtatious smile, "You can never forget an old flame."

"Bullshit," I yelled. "That's not why you are here. We didn't give a damn about each other. We wanted to feel that power. It was stronger when we were together physically and that was it. I'm not your flame and I never was."

"Wow," she laughed. "I'm glad I am not still harvesting feelings for you. Other wise that would have really hurt."

"Good," I retorted. "It should.

Ever stood to her feet and glanced down at me. Her facial features were hard and cold.

"You'll come around soon," she said. "I want my coven back. Back then I was foolish for thinking that we could have another life. You have no idea of the hell that I went through alone. I felt weak and pathetic and I know that you felt it too. Jeremy it's time to get real. We will all die standing alone."  
"I'm not going to walk the thin line of good and evil any more. We would have torn one another apart eventually, all of us."

"I love you Jeremy," she said. "There are not many of us in this world and you can't raise such a powerful child on your own. I know that you called on the higher power when she was born in order to protect her. I'm not sure how you were strong enough to do so alone. But doing that only put your daughter in danger. It was an ignorant decision on your part. Their was a reason that out ancestors never performed that spell."

"Alba is safe. That is all that matters," I said.

"You don't get it," she said. "Alba is a target. The word is out Jeremy. You can't settle here."

"Well I'm not leaving," I said. "Alba and I are fine. Your free to leave. I appreciate the warning. Thanks for the invite to tag along with you but no thank you. I can't leave now."

Ever chuckled, "Your still pretty damn stubborn aren't you?"

I rolled my eyes and removed myself from the couch, "I'll see you out."

"I'm not going anywhere."

I grabbed her arm forcefully. That was an ignorant decision. Ever was a lot stronger than me. In one swift motion I was on my back, the thick sole of her shoe planted at my neck as she grinned down at me, "It's only been an hour and I have you on your back."

"I want you out," I choked up.

"Not without a fight. I'm here to help you. So suck it up and deal with it."

**B.P.O.V**

Jade entered the living room dressed in her overalls, rubber boots and a ridiculous bucket hat that Charlie had brought her. She beamed brightly as I grabbed the camera from the coffee table and snapped a picture of her.

"Aw come here," I said to Jade as she made her way over to me. I leaned in to kiss her tiny nose and tawny dimpled cheeks. She laughed and gave me a hug. "You look so cute."

"Look at grandpa's little nugget," Charlie cooed. "You have the latest fashion trend going on."

"Grandpa what do you know about fashion?" Jade inquired in her sweet voice.

"I know how to spell the word," he chuckled. "That's about it."

I laughed at him as I fastened the buttons on Jade's jacket.

"Bella are you sure that you don't want to come along. Jade and I could teach you a thing or two about fishing."

"No thank you. It's bad enough that you bring her home smelling of fish. I'd rather not."

"Suit yourself kid."

"So is Billy going along?" I asked.

Charlie sighed, "The last time Billy went anywhere other than the front porch was eight years ago. We are going to pick up Sarah when we leave here. She's a first time fisher. It's going to be hilarious. Do you and Jeremy have plans?" he asked.

"Jeremy's mad at momma," Jade chimed in.

Charlie gazed at me, his eyes asking the question that never fell from his lips.  
I shrugged.

"I hope you kids fix whatever problem that your having. I like Jeremy. He's been good to you."

Aggravated, I stood to my feet. I didn't want to talk to Charlie about things that were still unknown to my, "Don't you guys have to get going?"

Charlie shot me an evil glare, "What are you doing to occupy your time today?"

Charlie was worried every time that I was alone. But I was over harming myself, physically that is. Complete change does not happen over night. But progress does.

I smiled lightly and nodded assuring him that I would be alright, "I'm headed out of the door behind you. Leah asked me to come over."

"Thanks great," he said. "Tell her I said hello."

"Will do," I agreed.

After saying goodbye to Charlie and Jade I drove down to La push. To my surprise Leah was home alone. She sat lazily on the couch with a bucket of butter pecan ice cream in her lap and tears streaming down her cheeks. Quickly I joined her on the couch and curled into her side.

"This sucks," she said.

I noticed the television was shut off even though Leah's attention had been focused on it. Gazing up at her I asked, "What's wrong with my very pregnant friend?"

"That's it," she shouted. "I'm very pregnant and very bored. I can't phase and the pack watch me like an hawk. I feel as if I'm on house arrest or something."

"Aww poor baby," I cooed.

"It's not funny Bella. I'm miserable without Rick being here."

"Than call him," I stated.

"He had to help Jeremy with something. He should be back shortly."

The sound of Jeremy's name brought fearful tears to my eyes. I swallowed thickly and avoided her gaze, standing to my feet.

"Is everything alright between the two of you?"

I shrugged, "I have not heard from him since yesterday morning. He left without even saying goodbye. To be honest I'm not sure what to think. No matter what I do nothing is ever in my favor. I had a blow out with Billy the other day."

"What?" she shouted.

"After what he said to Jeremy at Jade's birthday bonfire I went over there to straighten him out."

"Well," she urged me to continue.

"The entire conversation led back to Jake. Billy didn't make much sense but he gave me this journal and claimed that it would explain everything."  
"So did you indulge in it?" she asked curiously taking another scoop of ice-cream between her lips. "What the hell happened to Jacob?"

I shrugged, "I could not bring myself to read it."

"Bella are you blowing smoke up my ass right now?" she screeched. "Your telling me that you have all the answers in your possession and have not read the journal?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying Leah. I will get around to reading the journal soon. But right now I'm really worried about my relationship with Jeremy. What if yesterday was an indication of what's to come?" I asked gloomily. "What if…" I  
paused for a moment as the tears formed in my eyes. Placing my hand over my heart

I inhaled and closed my eyes. The thought of Jeremy leaving me had my heart in pain. The pain was indescribable. Leah stood to her feet. She walked over to me and hugged me tightly.

"What if he leave me?" I sobbed onto her shoulder. " I can't bare it Leah."

"Shh," she said as she soothingly rubbed my back. " Jeremy is in love with you Bella. He's done everything to prove that much to you. Have a little faith. Just talk to him."

"I hope your right."

**(Jacob's point of view)**

**I am a dreamer and when I wake,  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,  
Remember us and all we used to be  
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while.  
I'd be the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you.**

_-James blunt_

"Jacob," Jade's sweet voice chimed. "Will you tell me a story?"

I smiled down at her and sat at the edge of the bed. Her huge brown eyes were full of happiness as she gazed into my eyes. My daughter was the most precious thing in the world. The joy I felt as she pleaded with me was un like anything I had ever experienced. But time was running out and I needed to talk with her. The last thing I wanted to do was spend my time speaking of fictional stories instead of getting to know her and allowing her to know me.

"I would love to," I said. "But I'd rather talk about your day. What did you do?"

Jade smiled, "I went to school today. Momma says that school is very important and that I should be good."

I smirked, "Your mother is right. She normally is."

Jade shrugged, "I didn't mean to get in trouble Jacob. It's just this boy Michael teases me. He pinched me in class and said that girls have cooties."

"Really?" I asked trying to contain my anger. No one was allowed to hurt her.

Tears filled her eyes as she gazed down at her intertwined fingers. My fingers swept across her tiny chin as I adjusted her face so that her gaze met mine.

"Michael really hurt your feelings didn't he?" I asked.

"Yes, Jacob."

"Does your mom know?" I asked.

"No," she said. "She would be upset if she knew. I don't want Michael to get in trouble too. I like Michael."

I sighed. The first boy to break my baby's heart. She had a crush and from the sound of it Michael had a crush as well. I remember when Bella and I were kids. I told her once that all worms were made of candy and watched in amusement as she attempted to eat one. Bella cried her eyes out for days. I had hurt her feelings pretty bad. That should have been the last time that I hurt her but it was not.  
Shaking the horrible thoughts away, I watched as Jade gazed at me curiously.

"Jade," I began. "Boys are like….um how do I explain this," I murmured. " Jade, boys are made of trash. You should never get too close otherwise you'd start to smell."

She made a funny face and then said, "But you don't smell."

"Because…I well maybe you should stay away from me too," I said sadly.

Jade removed the blanket from her body and positioned herself on her knees. She beamed at me before wrapping her arms around me, "Now why would I want to do that? You're my best friend Jacob. I wish other people could see you the way that I do. Like my momma, I bet she'd really like you. Maybe you could make her happy. The same way you make me," she whispered into my shoulder.

After a few moments Jade resumed her original position in bed. I tried to keep a pleasant smile which was really hard to do. She would never know how bad those very words she had spoke hurt me. They hurt because they held truth. I could make her happy, I could make them both happy if I were alive. But that was impossible now. I'd be gone forever from Bella's life. Jade and I would forever be this. I'd only be what she believed was a figment of her imagination. She'd only continue to see me for as long as she could remember me. Like everything else in her childhood, sooner or later she would out grow me.

I stood to my feet as tears formed in my eyes. Jade's smile turned into a frown,

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I'm going to miss you," I said to her.

"You can always come back tomorrow, Jacob."

"I know," I whispered as I learned in to kiss her forehead. "Goodnight sweetheart."

Just as I turned to leave Bella appeared in the archway of the door. She was breath taking as usual in just a baby pink silk night gown. Her hair was in a knot, pulled away from her face. She made her way over to Jade. I turned to face them as Bella crawled into the tiny bed with her. She kissed Jade's nose before speaking. "Do you mind if momma sleep with you tonight, princess?"

Jade shook her head no.

"I love you. Goodnight Jadey bug," Bella said as she turned off the light.

"Night momma."

"I love you too," I whispered softly.

Shakespeare said once, _"Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once."_

He was right.

Over the years I watched myself die many times. My mind, body, and spirit faded away. I was a coward. Regret is the worse thing to live with when you are damned for an eternity. Regret is what I felt for a while. Rage was what I felt at first. How do you wake up one day and have nothing. There is the proof that you should appreciated a great life when it's handed to you because at any moment everything you want, everything you dream of can be taken away. If I could relive one day of my life over it would be my last day alive. I would have told her the truth and held on to her for as long as possible.

As I took my last breath I should have allowed her to be there for me, not make that decision for her. Seeing Jade kept my heart at peace. But it only lasted for so long. I could not imagine a world without her in it but then it happened. Jade was in danger. I felt it in my chest. My desperation to save her over powered everything. Somehow, someway god had answered my prayer's. I wasn't trapped. I could see her. Her tiny frame lying in the dirt as a leech stood over top of her. Bella was defenseless. Her face was buried in the dirt as her sobs echoed loudly. Anger coursed through my veins. I could feel my wolf on edge. It had been so long since I felt that feeling. Phasing had been different since the curse took over but in an instant it felt the way that it use to. My body felt alive. I wanted to jump out of my own skin as a growl erupted in my throat.

"You know Bella; I haven't seen you in years. Well, only in my sinister dreams," the redheaded leech cackled. "I knew I could never kill you with the Cullen's alive. So I set out to kill them myself. It took me seven years to complete the task but here I am, triumphant." She flashed an evil grin. "One by one I ripped them to pieces and torched them. I thought killing them all would take away the pain of losing my James, but it didn't," she hissed angrily. "As long as your heart continues to beat," she pointed directly at Bella. "I'll live with the pain of not killing you," she spat as she stood up.

"But you know I never expected to come back and find you alone, with a child. I thought you would at least have that stupid mutt not too far behind. Did you actually believe I wouldn't come back to kill you? I wanted you dead then and that fire of hatred still burns within me. I still have the urge to kill you with every needless breath I take. I want you to suffer the same agony and heart break I did and now, I think it may be possible," she snarled.

"I can kill her and allow you to live with the guilt. I could squash her like a bug. You're such a weak, pathetic human that you'd probably take your own life and it wouldn't be necessary for me to kill you," she spat with such ferocity.

She raised her boot over Jade's head and grinned wickedly.

"Oh god! Please don't! Please," Bella screamed hysterically. Bella looked defeated as the tears poured from her eyes.

"Say good-bye Bella," Victoria taunted.

"I'm so sorry," Bella whispered. "I'm so sorry Victoria, please….." she sobbed relentlessly.

Before I could think my body reacted as I charged toward the red headed leech. My body was on fire and I phased. My body tussled with the leech's as we disappeared into the trees. I couldn't kill her fast enough as I sank my teeth into her ice cold flesh. Our impact to the surface broke us apart. Before I could get back on all fours she sank her teeth into me not once but three times. Quickly, I slung her off of me and took position in front of her as she circled around me.

"Well," she laughed. "What a pleasant surprise."

"Your fucking dead," I snarled.

"Catch me if you can," she said taking off. The bitch may have been fast but no vampire could run with wolves that was for sure. I killed her with no problem and it felt damn good. Jade and Bella made it out of that situation alive and I took the body with me to the shadow realm. Leaving the body would have been proof that I had came back. I didn't want that. What I wanted was peace for my family and tribe. It would be better if they did not think of me.

Never looking into Bella's life had become hell. It had been over two months since I had done so. It was not because I had no interest in what she were doing , but because I could not bare how hurt she had been because of me. I wanted to remember all of the good times that we shared. I cracked. My heart had endured all that it could. I needed to see her if only for a few moments.

Bella was getting ready for bed while speaking on the speaker phone with my sister Rebecca. I made time to visit Rebecca when I could to see how her life was going. She had far more problems than my dad led me to believe. She and her fiance had been living in New york ever since she relocated there to attend NYU.

Bella smiled lightly in the direction of the phone as she kicked off her shoes, "Becks seriously your students can't be that bad."

She scuffed, "Oh really? You try teaching rowdy seventh graders. I always imagined teaching pre schoolers on the rez."

"You still can," Bella added. "I miss you here. You never visit."

Rebecca sighed, "It's just hard Bella. I hate seeing my dad wasting away. Nothing seems right anymore. Rachel does not visit at all and my brother...he's-"

"Gone," Bella finished sadly. "I understand Becks, really I do. I just wish you could see your niece more. She really misses you a lot."

"I know and I really miss you both too. How is she anyway? anything new."

"Well she brought home a frog yesterday. Apparently she found it during recess. Now we have a frog named queen Tatiana," Bella laughed.

"That's sweet. Jade is such a princess. I promise to be there for her Bella it's been nice chatting but I have to go," Rebecca chimed.

"The man folk is home and hungry."

"Bye," Bella said.

I watched from my position by the wall as Bella hit the call end button. She walked back over to the bed and pulled her shirt over her head. I felt like a pervert watching her. She paused and gazed around the room silently. She then removed her jeans. God she was so beautiful. I would have given my soul just to touch her once. Her long chestnut locks of hair hung flawlessly down her back she turned her back to me and that's when I saw it.

Tears filled my eyes. She did not cover up the tattoo on her lower back. There was my name and our wedding date. Walking closer to her, I admired the baby pink bra and underwear that she had on. That had always been my favorite color on her. I stood a few inches away from her as she removed her earrings and bracelet.

"Why can't you see me?" I whispered. "Try for me please?"

Bella gazed over her shoulder. Her eyes caught mine as I smiled sweetly at her. She turned completely around. Was it possible that she could see? As I reached out to her Bella's attention shifted, "Shit," she said, rushing into the bathroom to shut off the water.

The tears fell from my eyes as I turned to leave. That had been the reason that I stayed away from her and did not intrude on her life. I was a stranger to her. There was no more of what use to be. We would forever be this, I did not exist in her world the way that I use to. No longer was I the knight in shinning armor to her. I had become a horrible memory that she wanted to forget. She had lost all faith in me. I could not blame her for it. After all of the pain I had caused her I deserved to feel this way.

Charles Darwin said, "_that a man who dare to waste one hour of time has not discovered the true meaning of life._"

He was right as well. A man who chose to waste an hour of time in silence would surely make up for it in all of his following hours. With every passing minute I realized I've lived to see what most people have not. Some people spend an eternity searching for a love such as the one that I had. I've seen death, fear, pain, and happiness but none of them amount to living with regret.

**(Bella's point of view)**

_I miss you._

me too. It's been three days.

I know and I'm sorry. I'm dealing with a family crisis.

You've said that already.

Just give me a few more days please and I promise I will explain it all to you. Just trust me Bella, please.

I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight Jeremy.

That was not the truth. Actually I had called Sam over to read the journal with me. Jade had been tucked in bed almost an hour ago. Mentally I was drained but I could not avoid the inevitable any longer. I wanted to know what happened to Jacob.

I sat quietly across from Sam at the kitchen counter. The journal was placed in between us. Sam's gaze fell upon mine, "Are you ready to do this?" he asked nerviously..

I shook my head no, "I'll never to ready to go through with this Sam. But ready or not I owe this to you and the rest of the family. You guys deserve answers."

I leaned in closer and opened the journal. The first page was a symbol. It mirrored the woman's necklace from my bizarre dream. As I turned the next few pages words appeared. There was so many entries and they were all signed by Ephraim Black.

"Read it out loud," Sam said.

"Okay."

_**Day One,**_

She came to me at night. Daylight never felt quite right with us. Her features were potent and hard to forget. I'd never met someone more divine in my life. Her voice was beautiful as she spoke to me. What is right and what is wrong started to fade quickly as I watched the water touch basis with the shore. I was in denial at first. My life made since until that day in the woods. I loved my wife. She had been all that I needed her to be but this woman had been all that I never dared to dream of. Looking into her eyes were like looking into my own. She was strong and demanding of me. But her demands were silent. Through intimate touches and lingering kisses shown her true intentions. She wanted me to love her and I wanted to love her more than anything else in the world. But I had duties to my tribe, my family, and my wife. I should have fought the urge to be with her with all my might but my inner demon spawn hopelessly when she came to me at night.

Ephraim Black

Placing the journal back down on the table I gazed up at Sam. His face was emotionless and he took the journal into his hands, " I believe the end is the beginning. We can go back later and fill in the blanks."

I nodded.

Sam skipped to the back of the journal and began to read out loud.

_**My final words...**_

I suppose I am dying. I want to believe that but dying should never hurt this much. I feel exhausted and drained, as if someone is sucking the life out of me. My many faults have lead me to this place. There is no reason for me to be afraid. Over the years I let down my tribe in more ways than one. My wife, I broke her heart a long time ago and yet she still remain by my side. If I could go back in time I would have left with her leaving the memory of a noble man to my kind. But instead I stayed in hopes of keeping my respect. You never know what love is until you felt it. You never know pain until you live with it. She cursed my heart with her power and in my final hour I am ready to admit the truth to myself. I imprinted on a Witch. I'd give anything to tell her just how much I truly loved her. To my family, I wish I could apologize for all of the pain that I caused them or will cause them. Because of my mistake more than one person will suffer. I wish I could take it back, go back in time and make it all right. But I would never fall out of love with the lady who came to me at night, Villa Crowe.

The sound of the book being slammed shut brought me back to reality. My gaze met Sam's as the tears formed in my eyes, "Read the last line again..."

"What?" he asked confused.

The tears fell from my eyes as I screamed, "Read it again."

"Alright, alright," Sam said as he opened the journal. "But I would never fall out of love with the woman who came to me at night, Villa Crowe."  
"The tattoo," I stated inaudibly. " I need you to keep an eye on Jade."

"What? Where are you going?" Sam asked.

"Just trust me alright," I shouted.

I rushed into the living room to grab my keys and darted from the house. In the car I dialed Leah's number. After the second ring she answered, "Hello."

"What's Jeremy's address again?" I asked. "I can't remember the street address."

"5701 Seethe drive."

"Bella whats going on?" she asked worriedly. "Your crying."

"I'll call you when I figure everything out alright."

I hung up the phone quickly. The ride to Jeremy's house was full of angry tears and my worse fears coming to life. I was under the assumption that there was something about his life that he were not telling me. The last thing I wanted was more lies. The roads became dark and erie as my destination appeared ahead. It may be a little crazy but I had only been to Jeremy's house once for a short period of time. As I pulled into the drive way my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. The house was a funny shade of white with shutter windows and a long front porch. The next house was only a few feet away. Pacing my footsteps, I finally made it to the front door.

Before I could knock the door swung open. I was met with a shirtless Jeremy. He stepped out of the door and closed it behind himself. I could see anger flare in his eyes as he took a step forward.

"What are you doing here?" he asked coldly.

More tears fell from my eyes as I gazed into his eyes. Jeremy was not there. The man in front of me was a complete stranger. My Jeremy would have been happy to see me. I grabbed his right arm and turned it inward. There was the tattoo. The more I stared at it, the more real it felt. It was not some symbol that he came across in a tattoo shop that he thought were cool, it meant something. That tattoo was a part of who he was. It was a part of his world that he kept from me.

Jeremy's facial features softened as I let go of his arm. He reached out to me but I pulled away, taking a few steps back.

"Say it," I demanded.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked.

"The truth," I yelled.

"Bella please..."

"I know what you are," I sobbed. " And your going to admit it to me right now, Jeremy Crowe. If you say it then I will know that I am not crazy."

"I was going to tell you soon. I was waiting for the right moment."

"There is no right moment to tell me that your a witch," I shouted. "I want you to stay away from me," I said turning away from him.

In an instant he was in front of me again as his strong arms wrapped themselves around me, "Please...just let me explain."

"Explain what?" a voice chimed from behind. Jeremy released me. We turned quickly into the direction of the house. A blonde haired woman stood a few feet away. Her lips formed a smiled as my eyes took in her form. She was about 5'9. Her body was long and lean. She was dressed in a pair of black jeans and a v neck shirt. The woman was beautiful. Immediately I felt insecure as I held her gaze.

"Give us a minute," Jeremy asked.

"I gave you a minute already to get rid of her Jeremy," she said. "You need to go," she pointed at me.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked angrily.

"You need to leave right now," she repeated.

"You do not speak to me that way," I said shifting my attention to Jeremy. "Who that hell is she?"

He sighed, "That's, Ever."

"And unless you want to die you better get out of here," she said. "Jeremy they will smell her. Get her the fuck out of here."

"Too late," A deep male voice said. "I'm glad to see you brought us a snack."

Jeremy held his position in front of me. I watched in horror as the person stepped from the shadows and lunged at us. I gripped Jeremy's arm tightly, awaiting what was to come. It was one of those moments that I had encountered many times before. All I could think of was Jade. There was a possibility this was the bitter end of my life. I watched helplessly as Ever leaped in the air landing on him and knocking the stranger to the cold ground. She brought her hands to his neck and in an instant he was decapitated. There was no blood. Taking a step closer I saw the fangs hanging from his mouth. I brought my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming.

It was a vampire.

Ever stood to her feet and glared at me, "How am I going to explain that?" she asked Jeremy.

He shrugged, "Just do it. I'm going to get Bella out of here."

"Thank you," Ever said turning away. "I'll be seeing you soon Bella that's for sure," she called over her shoulder.

My feet moved quickly to the passenger seat as I climbed in and prepared myself to the longest car ride of my life.


	8. Chapter 7 As if you never existed TEASER

**A/N:** Hey guys! So this is only a teaser but I must say that this is my longest teaser to date. It's nine pages. I hope you enjoy. The teaser picks up where we left off in the previous chapter. I will have the entire chapter posted over the weekend or the beginning of next week. Just a reminder that this story is O.O.C. I do not own any of the characters with the exception of Jade, Jeremy, Alba, and Ever as of right now. The plot is completely different from the saga. There is no sexual activity in this teaser. Sorry to all of my lemon heads:) Enjoy!

**Song suggestion: Girl named Toby-Holding a heart**

******Chapter Seven- As if you never existed**

B.P.O.V

Nothing could have equipped me for this. I should have expected something of this sort to happen. After all I'm prone to peril. The world that delimited me had never been ordinary.

I sat inaudibly as Jeremy drove back to La push. Words could not convey what I felt. I could not utter a word. My heart would not allow me to. So I remained silent in an attempt not to cry. Tears threatened to dispense from my eyes as I compressed my fist. The tension in the car was so substantial that it was hard to breathe.

"We should talk," Jeremy said.

I remained silent, pressing my lips in a tight line. An inner struggle had begun. My heart and my head were trying to formulate the proper way to handle all of this. On one end I wanted to know everything. Curiosity had began to eat away at me. But on the other end I was hurt, again. The agony had began to erode me.

Jeremy was someone that I had confidence in. He was some one that I fell in love with in spite of everything that I had been through. He swept me off of my feet when I had convinced myself that I'd die alone. Another man that I cared for deeply had let me down. The only difference was that Jeremy was aware of how damaged I was and he added to it.

The tears stained my cheeks as I watched the darkness outside of the window.

"Bella I can explain everything to you if you give me the opportunity to do so."  
I sighed, "For the first time I really don't want to know."

"Bella-"

"I trusted you," I stated angrily. "But that does not matter. What's done is done."

Suddenly the car swerved and came to screeching halt on the side of the road. He shut the car off and turn to face me, "Please just hear me out."

"Drive or I will get out and walk," I said.

"Bella-"

"Fine."

I removed my seatbelt and opened the car door before exiting and slamming it shut. The cold air consumed me. Starting up the road, I did not turn to see if  
Jeremy was behind me. There was nothing but obscurity taking a hold of me. A part of me should have been frightened. After all I had no idea what he was capable of. My thoughts tormented me constantly as I reflected back to the dream that I had, Jeremy's tattoo, and the journal. All of the information still did not make complete sense to me. The night air chilled my tiny frame. I folded my arms across my chest and took a deep breath.

The perforation in my chest felt as if it were increasing.

"Bella," Jeremy called out to me. "Please just let me explain."

My pain began to replace itself with fury as I turned to face him. He was barely perceptible from the lack of light.

"Explain what?" I bellowed as the tears fell from my eyes. "You want to explain what you are? Well there is no need. You're a witch. I gathered that."

"I'm so much more than a witch, Bella. There is so much more to the story than what you know and I didn't tell you what I was because of this," he said gesturing between the two of us. "I was afraid that you would turn your back on me just as your doing right now. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the truth about me Bella. I love you. I'd never hurt you intentionally. I didn't want you to be afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid. I'm hurt Jeremy. You are supposed to be different," I screamed.

"Your not supposed to lie to me. You should have been honest."  
He took one step closer to me, "No one is completely honest Bella. I'm not perfect. It's not my fault that you've created this persona of me."  
I snorted harshly, "If you think that this is not your fault then you are sadly mistaken. My life is damaged because of you."

"Because of me?" Jeremy asked disbelievingly. "What have I ever done other than try to love you the right way?"

I could not tell Jeremy everything. Jake's secret was not mine to share. That was the difference between Jeremy and I. Being a witch was apart of him. It was a part of him that he didn't believe was worth sharing with me.  
Jeremy scoffed, "And you stand here and speak of honesty, Bella? You want to blame me for what happened to Jacob?"

"Jacob?" I asked shocked.

"Yes, Jacob. You lied to me. You told me that you loved me, that we would be together and that's not true is it? Why don't you tell me why that's not true Bella? Tell me why you had such a hard time getting over him, if your over him. Tell me that if he prance his dead beat ass back into La push that you would never drop me like a bad habit?"

"How dare you say that to me. After all that I've been through because of him you believe that I'm that weak. That I'd put everything he's done to me and to his family behind us for what? For nothing because this is not about Jacob."  
Not completely.

"It's about you," I screamed and pointed at him. "The only two people standing here are you and I so don't drag my daughter's father into this. It's your treachery that's gotten us here."

"He's been in this since day one," Jeremy hissed. "And he's not just Jade's father to you and you know it."

"That's not true. You've always known that our split hurt me. I never kept anything from you. Don't try to turn this around on me. I let you into my heart. I let you in to my life and shared it with you. I do not trust you anymore. And if it were not for the fact that this hurt so bad I'd be terrified right now."

Jeremy took two steps closer to me. His facial features were visible now. The tears lingering in his eyes made my hurt stop. I was pretty sure that his eyes mirrored mine. My arms were still folded over my chest in an effort to shield  
myself from him and also to hold my self in place.

"Bella please-" he begged.

"I'm going to pretend that I never met you," I sobbed. "After tonight your going to disappear and never interfere in my life again. I'm going to go home and shower. When I'm done I'll climb in bed with Jade and we will sleep peaceful. Tomorrow morning will be a perfect. It will be perfect because after tonight you don't exist."

My sobs increased as I wiped the tears from my eyes. Jeremy remained motionless but his gaze never left mine. I watched as the tears finally fell from his beautiful brown eyes. My words had impaired him. Just the thought of that had cut me deep. But I had to do it. The thought that I would never see his face again made it so hard to hold myself together. My heart wanted so many things in that moment. I wanted to forgive him. But a very dominate part of me wanted to forget him.

"You can't walk away from me. I'm not going to let you. It's not-"

I nodded violently, "Jeremy it's over. I can't do this."

"I love you," he cried. "You have to understand that I love you with everything that I am and I know that you are in love with me too. Your going to call it quits because of my imperfection. I don't want to spend my life without you."

Jeremy took one final step closer to me closing the distance between use. He reached for my hand but I refused him.

"I'm sorry," he pleaded. I was convinced that he meant every word that escaped his lips but I could not bring myself to accept any of this. "I need you. Everything in life is gone wrong right now. Once upon a time that was you. You needed a friend and it didn't matter what you were going through because I cared. You were worth it. I decided I would wait for you if it took the rest of your life. I'd do that for you because I love you. I'd go back in time and change it all. I'd tell you the truth but I don't have the ability to do that. Please, I'm beginning you …."

"Jeremy…I…I can't."

He nodded sadly, "Can you at least get back in the car?"  
I needed to hold myself together. My knees were limp and my heart was seized from my chest and lying dead on the cold asphalt of the road. The tears never stopped no matter how much I willed them to do so. It hurt to look into the eyes of the man I loved and tell him that our life together was over. But I had to do it. It felt like yesterday that Jade and I were helpless against Victoria. That was due to my relationship with Edward Cullen. Back then I was naïve to everything. I thought the Cullen's were untouchable. That no harm could come to me. I was wrong and it took so many years later to figure that out. I suffered the last eight years because I fell in love with a werewolf. I was ready to admit to myself that

I did not belong a part of the supernatural world. For that reason Jeremy and I could not be together. Jade deserved a normal life. I would never make such careless mistakes again. I'd never forgive myself if she came close to death again.

I exhaled deeply and followed Jeremy to the car and got in. He settled in to the driver's seat. As he started the car up, Jeremy gazed over at me once more and said, "I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me. I'm not going to give up on us."

#

"Flight 219 to Phoenix, Arizona now boarding."

Charlie embraced me once more before pulling away. He kissed my forehead, "Now, what should I tell everyone?" he asked again.

I sighed," Just tell them that I needed some alone time, that I needed to clear my head. I left Rebecca a note back at the house. It will explain everything to her. But no matter how much they hassle you, you have no idea where I went. Dad, I'm going to miss you."

"I feel like your saying goodbye to me, Kid," Charlie frowned.

"I'm not. It's just for a few weeks. Maybe a month," I replied honestly.  
He smiled," Take as much time as you need. Just make sure my little angel call me everyday."

Charlie kneeled down on one knee and gave Jade a hug. She giggled and planted a kiss on his cheek, "I will call everyday grandpa and I'm going to bring you back a gift."

Charlie groaned, "As long as it doesn't crawl."

I hugged Charlie once more before hoisting Jade on my hip and rushing toward the gates. Once we were on the plane I turned off my cell phone as Jade and I settled into our coach seats. I tucked a blanket around her middle to keep her warm. Jade smiled, "I'm so excited to meet Renee. I'm still unsure if I should call her Grandma."

"Whatever feels natural to you, princess. I'm sure Renee will be satisfied with whatever you decide."

Forty five minutes into our flight and Jade was fast asleep. I watched in awe as her parted lips let out tiny little snores. Her long curly hair fell to the left side of her face. Although I tried my attention did not stay on Jade for too long. The past few days continued to reply themselves inside of my head. The night I found out about Jeremy was more vivid than the others. Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing that I had done in a long time. But I had to do so. I just hoped that in a month my heart would began to heal and that he would have left Washington all together.

The flight to Arizona finally came to an end. If I could I would have stayed high above the ground. I felt free from harm, free from my everyday life. But my life had to go on whether it be in Arizona or Forks.

Renee was the same as ever. Her blonde hair was straight as needles and her petite frame was barely covered in a mere tee shirt and short shorts. I noticed her standing next to her green jeep Cherokee outside. She grinned and waved her hand frantically in the air. My smile appeared for the first time in the past few days. Taking Jade's hand, I led her out of the door with the crowd of people and over to Renee. My mother's eyes caught mine as she met me half way. Renee embraced me clinging to me for dear life. I buried my head in the crook of her  
neck as the tears fell from my eyes.

Renee and I had been distant ever since I became pregnant. The life that I chosen for myself was less of what she expected of me. We drifted apart far more than a mother and daughter should have. But I would never stop loving her. As our embrace ended I realized that was what I needed. I didn't need a shrink. What I needed was the woman who gave birth to me to tell me that things would get better, the way she used to.

Renee kneeled down and her gaze met Jade's. Jade smiled at her, "Hi, I'm Jade."

Tears filled Renee's eyes as she nodded, "I know who you are, beautiful. I owe you an apology."

"Mom-"

Renee's eyebrows furrowed in concentration, "Bella let me say this. I'm sorry that I missed eight years of your life. Your mother and I had our differences but I should not have involved you. You don't have to forgive me today or in the next five years but I hope that you will someday forgive me for being the worse grandmother on the planet."

"You could have been better," Jade chimed. "But your not the worse. Everyone deserves a second chance."

Renee chuckled and hugged Jade, "I love you so much."

After gathering our luggage and putting it in the jeep we were on our way.


	9. Chapter 7 As if you never existed

A/N: Hey guys! This is the entire chapter. There is an author's note at the end of the chapter just to clarify any confusion in this chapter. I know there are people going WTH! so yes the author's note

at the end is for you.

**Playlist songs**

-a girl named Toby-hold a heart

-One republic- stop and stare

-Sara Barellies- Breathe again

-Ingrid Michaelson- All love

**Chapter Seven- As if you never existed**

B.P.O.V

Nothing could have equipped me for this. I should have expected something of this sort to happen. After all I'm prone to peril. The world that delimited me had never been ordinary.

I sat inaudibly as Jeremy drove back to La push. Words could not convey what I felt. I could not utter a word. My heart would not allow me to. So I remained silent in an attempt not to cry. Tears threatened to dispense from my eyes as I compressed my fist. The tension in the car was so substantial that it was hard to breathe.

"We should talk," Jeremy said.

I remained silent, pressing my lips in a tight line. An inner struggle had begun. My heart and my head were trying to formulate the proper way to handle all of this. On one end I wanted to know everything. Curiosity had began to eat away at me. But on the other end I was hurt, again. The agony had began to erode me.

Jeremy was someone that I had confidence in. He was some one that I fell in love with in spite of everything that I had been through. He swept me off of my feet when I had convinced myself that I'd die alone. Another man that I cared for deeply had let me down. The only difference was that Jeremy was aware of how damaged I was and he added to it.

The tears stained my cheeks as I watched the darkness outside of the window.

"Bella I can explain everything to you if you give me the opportunity to do so."  
I sighed, "For the first time I really don't want to know."

"Bella-"

"I trusted you," I stated angrily. "But that does not matter. What's done is done."

Suddenly the car swerved and came to screeching halt on the side of the road. He shut the car off and turn to face me, "Please just hear me out."

"Drive or I will get out and walk," I said.

"Bella-"

"Fine."

I removed my seatbelt and opened the car door before exiting and slamming it shut. The cold air consumed me. Starting up the road, I did not turn to see if  
Jeremy was behind me. There was nothing but obscurity taking a hold of me. A part of me should have been frightened. After all I had no idea what he was capable of. My thoughts tormented me constantly as I reflected back to the dream that I had, Jeremy's tattoo, and the journal. All of the information still did not make complete sense to me. The night air chilled my tiny frame. I folded my arms across my chest and took a deep breath.

The perforation in my chest felt as if it were increasing.

"Bella," Jeremy called out to me. "Please just let me explain."

My pain began to replace itself with fury as I turned to face him. He was barely perceptible from the lack of light.

"Explain what?" I bellowed as the tears fell from my eyes. "You want to explain what you are? Well there is no need. You're a witch. I gathered that."

"I'm so much more than a witch, Bella. There is so much more to the story than what you know and I didn't tell you what I was because of this," he said gesturing between the two of us. "I was afraid that you would turn your back on me just as your doing right now. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the truth about me Bella. I love you. I'd never hurt you intentionally. I didn't want you to be afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid. I'm hurt Jeremy. You are supposed to be different," I screamed.

"Your not supposed to lie to me. You should have been honest."  
He took one step closer to me, "No one is completely honest Bella. I'm not perfect. It's not my fault that you've created this persona of me."  
I snorted harshly, "If you think that this is not your fault then you are sadly mistaken. My life is damaged because of you."

"Because of me?" Jeremy asked disbelievingly. "What have I ever done other than try to love you the right way?"

I could not tell Jeremy everything. Jake's secret was not mine to share. That was the difference between Jeremy and I. Being a witch was apart of him. It was a part of him that he didn't believe was worth sharing with me.  
Jeremy scoffed, "And you stand here and speak of honesty, Bella? You want to blame me for what happened to Jacob?"

"Jacob?" I asked shocked.

"Yes, Jacob. You lied to me. You told me that you loved me, that we would be together and that's not true is it? Why don't you tell me why that's not true Bella? Tell me why you had such a hard time getting over him, if your over him. Tell me that if he prance his dead beat ass back into La push that you would never drop me like a bad habit?"

"How dare you say that to me. After all that I've been through because of him you believe that I'm that weak. That I'd put everything he's done to me and to his family behind us for what? For nothing because this is not about Jacob."  
Not completely.

"It's about you," I screamed and pointed at him. "The only two people standing here are you and I so don't drag my daughter's father into this. It's your treachery that's gotten us here."

"He's been in this since day one," Jeremy hissed. "And he's not just Jade's father to you and you know it."

"That's not true. You've always known that our split hurt me. I never kept anything from you. Don't try to turn this around on me. I let you into my heart. I let you in to my life and shared it with you. I do not trust you anymore. And if it were not for the fact that this hurt so bad I'd be terrified right now."

Jeremy took two steps closer to me. His facial features were visible now. The tears lingering in his eyes made my hurt stop. I was pretty sure that his eyes mirrored mine. My arms were still folded over my chest in an effort to shield  
myself from him and also to hold my self in place.

"Bella please-" he begged.

"I'm going to pretend that I never met you," I sobbed. "After tonight your going to disappear and never interfere in my life again. I'm going to go home and shower. When I'm done I'll climb in bed with Jade and we will sleep peaceful. Tomorrow morning will be a perfect. It will be perfect because after tonight you don't exist."

My sobs increased as I wiped the tears from my eyes. Jeremy remained motionless but his gaze never left mine. I watched as the tears finally fell from his beautiful brown eyes. My words had impaired him. Just the thought of that had cut me deep. But I had to do it. The thought that I would never see his face again made it so hard to hold myself together. My heart wanted so many things in that moment. I wanted to forgive him. But a very dominate part of me wanted to forget him.

"You can't walk away from me. I'm not going to let you. It's not-"

I nodded violently, "Jeremy it's over. I can't do this."

"I love you," he cried. "You have to understand that I love you with everything that I am and I know that you are in love with me too. Your going to call it quits because of my imperfection. I don't want to spend my life without you."

Jeremy took one final step closer to me closing the distance between use. He reached for my hand but I refused him.

"I'm sorry," he pleaded. I was convinced that he meant every word that escaped his lips but I could not bring myself to accept any of this. "I need you. Everything in life is gone wrong right now. Once upon a time that was you. You needed a friend and it didn't matter what you were going through because I cared. You were worth it. I decided I would wait for you if it took the rest of your life. I'd do that for you because I love you. I'd go back in time and change it all. I'd tell you the truth but I don't have the ability to do that. Please, I'm beginning you …."

"Jeremy…I…I can't."

He nodded sadly, "Can you at least get back in the car?"

I needed to hold myself together. My knees were limp and my heart was seized from my chest and lying dead on the cold asphalt of the road. The tears never stopped no matter how much I willed them to do so. It hurt to look into the eyes of the man I loved and tell him that our life together was over. But I had to do it. It felt like yesterday that Jade and I were helpless against Victoria. That was due to my relationship with Edward Cullen. Back then I was naïve to everything. I thought the Cullen's were untouchable. That no harm could come to me. I was wrong and it took so many years later to figure that out. I suffered the last eight years because I fell in love with a werewolf. I was ready to admit to myself that

I did not belong a part of the supernatural world. For that reason Jeremy and I could not be together. Jade deserved a normal life. I would never make such careless mistakes again. I'd never forgive myself if she came close to death again.

I exhaled deeply and followed Jeremy to the car and got in. He settled in to the driver's seat. As he started the car up, Jeremy gazed over at me once more and said, "I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me. I'm not going to give up on us."

#

"Flight 219 to Phoenix, Arizona now boarding."

Charlie embraced me once more before pulling away. He kissed my forehead, "Now, what should I tell everyone?" he asked again.

I sighed," Just tell them that I needed some alone time, that I needed to clear my head. I left Rebecca a note back at the house. It will explain everything to her. But no matter how much they hassle you, you have no idea where I went. Dad, I'm going to miss you."

"I feel like your saying goodbye to me, Kid," Charlie frowned.

"I'm not. It's just for a few weeks. Maybe a month," I replied honestly.  
He smiled," Take as much time as you need. Just make sure my little angel call me everyday."

Charlie kneeled down on one knee and gave Jade a hug. She giggled and planted a kiss on his cheek, "I will call everyday grandpa and I'm going to bring you back a gift."

Charlie groaned, "As long as it doesn't crawl."

I hugged Charlie once more before hoisting Jade on my hip and rushing toward the gates. Once we were on the plane I turned off my cell phone as Jade and I settled into our coach seats. I tucked a blanket around her middle to keep her warm. Jade smiled, "I'm so excited to meet Renee. I'm still unsure if I should call her Grandma."

"Whatever feels natural to you, princess. I'm sure Renee will be satisfied with whatever you decide."

Forty five minutes into our flight and Jade was fast asleep. I watched in awe as her parted lips let out tiny little snores. Her long curly hair fell to the left side of her face. Although I tried my attention did not stay on Jade for too long. The past few days continued to reply themselves inside of my head. The night I found out about Jeremy was more vivid than the others. Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing that I had done in a long time. But I had to do so. I just hoped that in a month my heart would began to heal and that he would have left Washington all together.

The flight to Arizona finally came to an end. If I could I would have stayed high above the ground. I felt free from harm, free from my everyday life. But my life had to go on whether it be in Arizona or Forks.

Renee was the same as ever. Her blonde hair was straight as needles and her petite frame was barely covered in a mere tee shirt and short shorts. I noticed her standing next to her green jeep Cherokee outside. She grinned and waved her hand frantically in the air. My smile appeared for the first time in the past few days. Taking Jade's hand, I led her out of the door with the crowd of people and over to Renee. My mother's eyes caught mine as she met me half way. Renee embraced me clinging to me for dear life. I buried my head in the crook of her  
neck as the tears fell from my eyes.

Renee and I had been distant ever since I became pregnant. The life that I chosen for myself was less of what she expected of me. We drifted apart far more than a mother and daughter should have. But I would never stop loving her. As our embrace ended I realized that was what I needed. I didn't need a shrink. What I needed was the woman who gave birth to me to tell me that things would get better, the way she used to.

Renee kneeled down and her gaze met Jade's. Jade smiled at her, "Hi, I'm Jade."

Tears filled Renee's eyes as she nodded, "I know who you are, beautiful. I owe you an apology."

"Mom-"

Renee's eyebrows furrowed in concentration, "Bella let me say this. I'm sorry that I missed eight years of your life. Your mother and I had our differences but I should not have involved you. You don't have to forgive me today or in the next five years but I hope that you will someday forgive me for being the worse grandmother on the planet."

"You could have been better," Jade chimed. "But your not the worse. Everyone deserves a second chance."

Renee chuckled and hugged Jade, "I love you so much."

After gathering our luggage and putting it in the jeep we were on our way.

#

I relaxed quietly against the soft bed of Renee's guestroom. It was three a.m. Jade was sound asleep beside me. I rolled over on my back and stared at the ceiling above me. The walls seemed to be closing in on me. It was no surprise. I've felt that way all of my life. Somehow I knew my agony would follow me all the way to Arizona.

There was no way of escaping it.

The past three days had been hard. It was hard to laugh and smile with Renee and my daughter when all I wanted was to cry my eyes out. I learned how to be a strong person and I planned on doing just that but I had not taken a moment for our breakup to really sink in. I clouded myself with Jade and what was best for her so that I didn't have to deal with my emotions.

I would never do that again.

I never expected to fall in love again. But I did and now that it's over I can say I honestly never thought it would be. It's hard to walk away from someone that you know love you unconditionally. Most people would never turn their back on such a person. I was amongst those people at one point of time in my life. But I learned to stop living in the moment and worry about the future. Not my future but Jade's. Jade's future terrified me. I worried often if she would sprout a tail one day. I was grateful that she had Sam, Leah, and the rest of the pack. But somehow it was not enough for me. Jacob was supposed to help her through all of that. I didn't know how to explain everything to her. There were still things I had no clue about.

She could very well grow up and decide that she didn't want that life and if she did I wanted her to have other options. And so she would. I could not involve myself with Jeremy further and not feel guilty. Not knowing the effects of who he is and what toll it could take on our lives is why I had to end it. I'd end it before anyone I loved got hurt.

I removed myself from the bed and walked over to the open window. The warm Arizona breeze reached me as I placed both hands firmly onto the ledge and pushed forward and closed my eyes. The darkness behind my lids were soothing. I turned around to face Jade who was peaceful. She seemed peaceful while asleep. Not a care in the world. I wished I could have slept like that. Unfortunately I had far to much to stay awake for.

#

"Maybe she's just home sick," Renee said as she gazed over her shoulder. She was cooking breakfast in her impeccable huge kitchen. I sat at the counter top placed in the center of the room. I watched as she moved in between the stove and kitchen sink. My mother had never been much of a cook when she was with dad. Somehow that had changed over the years. She had such a vibrant glow to her. The smile that she bared was really genuine and her laugh seemed to echo off the walls in a good way. You could always tell when someone was truly happy.

Arizona had been good to her. Her husband Phil had been better. As she said, "It is safe to say everything thing in my life is perfect. My girls are with me, I've found my soul mate, and I don't have to worry about botox. I am one foxy lady," I chuckled.

Renee had always been able to make me laugh when I needed it. I was happy to see the bond that she formed with Jade so quickly. After all they enjoyed the same things, Nail polish, shopping, and food.

I cringed quickly at the thought of Jade's sudden illness. It had not been a week since we landed and already she was tucked away beneath the covers. I sighed, "I don't know, mom. Jade has never been sick. She never even had a cold. It's not like her to be so rude."

"She did not mean it."

I rolled my eyes, "I asked her if she was hungry and she said I want to go home. Now! I'm worried."

Renee shrugged and gazed at me sympathetically, "You could always try talking to  
her Bella. You have to learn how to keep the communication lines open between you and your loved ones. I should say I play a part in you being this way. I gave you the idea that never talking about your problems and running away from them would help to solve them."

"Is that what you think I'm doing? that I'm running away from something?" I asked angrily.

Renee turned to face me, "That's exactly what your doing. It's what you've always done. It what I've always done. When you packed up and came here did you honestly believe that Jade wouldn't get homesick? She's been on the reservation her entire life."

"This is not a substantial fixture in our lives," I stated as I stood to my feet. "I just need time to think."

"To think about what?" Renee asked confused.

"About how to start over again," I admitted.

"Charlie mentioned that you were dating a guy. Does he have anything to do with this sudden visit to Arizona? Are you running away from him Bella?"

"I don't want to talk about that. My daughter is sick."

"You know you cant continue to do this to yourself."

"Do what?" I asked.

"Pretend that everyone problems are more important than your own. I understand how you feel about Jade but you need to take a minute and deal with what you are going through. I may have been absent in your life for quite sometime but Charlie has kept me posted. I don't like what you've done to yourself because of Jacob. Honestly I would not have dreamed in a million years that he would ever hurt you but I was wrong. We all were and it's alright be wrong sometimes. I don't want this new guy to add to the pain that you have already dealt with."

Renee was right. That was the thing that I hated about her. Everything that she said was true. Tears lingered in my eyes as she took a few steps closer to me, "I'm a mess."

"Bella you are not a mess."

"No, I am," I sobbed as she pulled me in for a hug. "I found someone who is willing to love me back in-spite of everything but I can't be with him. I can't love him the way he deserves."

Renee pulled back, "Why not?"

"I just can't," I said softly.

_Because I belong to Jacob. Because he's a witch. Because someone just like him is responsible for ruining my life, Jacob's life, and my marriage. Renee it's complicated._

I sat on the edge of the bed as I rubbed soothing circles upon Jade's back. I tried for hours to get her to eat but she would not. All she wanted to do was sleep. She barely uttered a sentence to me which hurt my feelings pretty badly. Everything that I had done was for her. I wanted to see her happy. Maybe I had convinced myself that this was merely for her benefit when it was for my own.

Jade's eyes were red from a few tears that she shed.

"Jade."

_Silence._

"I need you to talk to me sweetheart," I pleaded as I removed myself from the bed and knelled in front of her. "Talk to momma please. Your hurting my feelings."

Jade whispered, "I don't feel well."

"I'm going to take you to the hospital," I said.

"No," she shouted. "Please, I'm scared."

"I would never let anyone hurt you. But if you don't feel well we have to get you checked out okay. Please?"

Jade agreed. I quickly rushed over to grab her shoes and mine. After we were ready  
to go I wasted no time rushing her out to Renee's Jeep.

**Jeremy's point of view**

_My life is a fucking disaster._

Pacing the length of my bedroom I racked my fingers through my hair. I was on such edge that I wanted to scream. I needed to scream loud enough so that she could hear me where ever she was. I lost myself. But that is what happens when you have something so good. When you have a love so great and it slips away from you.

Nothing had ever been perfect nor have I ever felt it would but I never envisioned it would end this way. I should have been honest. But I was unsure if even my honesty would have helped. And there I was regretting everything, wishing that I had a chance to start over and tell her the right way this time. I needed to see her beautiful face, to hear her voice, to know that she was alright.

Not knowing was driving me insane.

I contemplated asking Alba to watch her. I decided not to. Bella had made her decision to break things off with me. I had hope that we could get back to the place that we were but I had to give her a chance to realize the mistake that she was making. It was not as if I had much of a choice in what I was or how my life had turned out. My life had been a mist of dark clouds and I was still waiting for the rain to stop falling. It seemed as if I couldn't hold on to anything that was good for me. The worst people in life seemed to cling to me. Ever was not the blame for any of this. I was because at one point of time in my life I could not say no.

There was a knock on the door that startled me. My attention shifted towards the door as Ever peaked her head in.

"You want to put a shirt on before I come in," she asked.

"Not really," I said bluntly.

Ever entered. She was dressed in really tiny shorts and a tube top. Her blonde locks of hair was pulled back in a ponytail. I noticed the thick book that she had pressed to her chest in her grasp as she grew near me.

"What's that?" I asked.

"A witches cookbook," she smirked. "I decided your ready to see what I've been keeping from you for all of these years."

"What's inside?" I asked incrediously.

"Generations of powerful spells. I've been guarding this with my life. There are plenty of grimoire's out there but this one is the oldest."

"And you chose to show me this now why, exactly?"

"Because it's about time you practice real magic and not the hanky panky bullshit that your used to. When you perform a spell it taps into the power with in you. So as long as you use magic with good intentions the darkness wont take a hold of you. Magic can be an ugly thing Jeremy. I've watched people that I love abuse it and have their life taken away from by an higher power. I trust you. So I'm willing to show you what witches all over the world are after."

"Great," I snarled. "So does this add to problems that we are already dealing with?"

"Relax. No one know that it exists accept you and I."

"Perfect."

"Out of curiosity, don't you find it a little ironic that you were playing house with the one person who are going to make the one thing that you dreamt about come true."

"Ever-"

"Seriously," she chuckled. "I'm a little baffled as to why you did not share this with me sooner."

"Because I'm not going through with it."

Ever looked at me as if I had grew another head, "Your kidding me right? We have spent years in search of the wolves for you. This was what you wanted."

"Not if it mean hurting Jade," I said angrily. "Bella won't let me anywhere near them. Besides I'm not doing this. It's wrong and I love them both too much to do this."

Ever walked closer to me. Her stare was cold, "You love them?"

"Yes," I admitted. "I do."

"You know Jeremy," she began to speak. "You really have a way of pissing me off."

"This is not about you," I yelled. "It's not about getting revenge. I'm not interested in that."

"Well I am. You want to stand here and defend a pack of mutts. I'll never side with any of them. They killed my family."

"The last time I checked half of me was one," I retorted.

"But the dominate half of you is one of us. Werewolves are unstable and there was a time where they were the threat, Jeremy."

"One werewolf was responsible for what happened to your family and it was certainly none of the wolves on the reservation. Listen, I know the last time we were together I had this vision of unleashing the other half of me. But no good is going to come from that. I'm not meant to bare both. I accept that."

Ever reached for my hand. Her warm eyes seeped into mine as she squeezed gently,

"One drop of blood is all that it will take to stir the wolf inside of you."

I shook my head no, "It's not just one drop of blood. It has to be Alpha blood and

I'm not going to harm anyone in order to get it, especially Jade."

"Think of all of the possibilities, Jeremy," she said as reluctantly removed her hand from mine. "I have a few things to take care. I'll leave this book with you."

Ever placed the book on my nightstand and turned for the door, "Wait a second..."

She paused and gazed over her shoulder at me, "I really did love her."

"I know," Ever stated. "And I'm sorry that your hurting. But things are better this way. She's not one of us. Lizzy was not either and that is why she suffered her fate. Good night Jeremy."

I watched as she closed the door behind her.

Things could never be simple. Somehow, someway my past found a way to take a hold of me. All of my life I have been figuring this out on my own. My mother disappeared when I was only one years old. My father later passed when I was just ten years old. I remember a little of them. My dad died at the hands of a vampire.  
He was a shifter, the only shifter in our started to change within me quickly after he passed. I was lost, alone, and afraid. Until I met someone similar to me.

The moment I laid eyes on Ever I was drawn to her. Something inside of me called out for her. It was the magic that flowed in my veins. I did not love Ever nor did  
I wish to have a life with her.

But she helped me learn to control my powers and to strengthen them. After a few years I met Lizzy. I fell in love with her instantly. Her lifestyle grew on me quickly. Shortly things had begun to spiral out of control. My life was a whirlwind of sex, drugs, and underground vampires looking for favors.

When Lizzy grew pregnant with Alba I knew that I wanted to change, that I wanted to give her a life and protect her. But Lizzy had another idea. She wanted to give her over to the Volturi. Lizzy had a sick obsession with turning herself over to the darkness. She wanted to be an immortal. None of the underground vampires wanted to deal with the consequences of creating a newborn. Like an idiot I agreed. In-spite of everything I agreed to give away the light in the world of darkness that had succumbed me.

The accident that left Lizzy dead had been hard on me. In all honesty I was still healing when I met Bella. Bella had been so broken but yet so beautiful in every way. Her smile melted away the block of ice surrounding my heart. I fell in love with her and I never wanted to fall out of love with her.

I was unsure of why I was too stupid to realize that Jacob imprinted on her. I never really cared to recall the legends of my people. However I did remember the legend of the hybrid. There had never been a hybrid before but as the story went, the blood of the alpha was the only thing that could stir the wolf. Once in my life

I wished to be both witch and werewolf. But not anymore because I was not only living my life for myself but for my daughter. It would take years to get the unstable creature inside of me tamed. I was no longer willing to take such a chance and put everyone in danger.

I took the book from the night stand, sat down on the bed, and began to skim through it's pages. I continued to browse the pages until I came to something useful. I grabbed a candle, a lighter, a knife, the book, and positioned myself in the middle of the floor . As I sat in the floor I lit the candle. My wrist stung when the knife made contact with it. I allowed my drops of blood to fall upon the candles fire as I began to read the spell from the book.

**Extra tempus esse  
in qua caligine sunt OVA  
ad me ipsum  
ubi praeter speciem LIQUAMEN  
ubi altas in profundum in corde latet  
Swan Isabella  
Swan Isabella  
Swan Isabella**

**B.P.O.V**

A dream is vision that you can't escape. In due time that is.

I've never had a creepy dream. But this dream felt so real and dark. Someone was willing me to stop but my mind kept insisting that I run. I did not turn to see who it was or even bother to wonder where I was running too. All that I knew was that I should be running.

With every stride I felt weaker. My heart hurt more and my insides felt sicker. My bare feet hammered against the stone gravel painfully.I was sure that they left a trail of blood behind me.

"Bella, stop," he called after me.

_This can't be happening._

Suddenly my body had lost control. I pummeled the ground as two firm hands flipped me over onto my back. Fear took a hold of me as I stared back into his deep brown eyes that were pleading with me. Willing me to stop. Even in my dreams he still haunted me. I fought like hell to be released from his grip but my attempts were useless.

"Let go of me," I screamed in agony.

"Bella, I don't have much time. I need you to listen to me."

"This is a dream. This is not real," I began to chant. "This is dream. This is not real."

He shook his head no, "This is an allusion of a dream. I don't have much time."

The tears fell from my eyes."Jeremy, I don't know how you are here but..."

"I know this is a bit extreme but I need you to listen to me. If you don't come  
back to me I'm going to lose it. I don't know how to live without you."

"Please don't do this to me," I begged. "I'm begging you. Just let me go."

"Not an option," He said as his lips crashed onto mine.

I tired with all of my might to fight his advance. But something inside of me wanted him to continue. It was only a dream. When I opened my eyes he would be gone. I couldn't say no to him. My body craved every lingering touch and passionate kiss. Something I had grown to cherish was the thrill of every moment that we spent together. I knew it was wrong. Even in a dream allowing him to have hope was wrong because it would never change a thing.

As Jeremy's lips moved from mine down to the nape of my neck I sighed as the tears broke free from myself. I wanted more than anything to forget everything and cherish this moment. But I knew better than anyone that living in the moment would never matter. Because special moments did not last forever. Over time they began to fade.

I was withdrawn from my thoughts when his lips kissed my mine tenderly. His hand that was resting behind my head was now at my lower back pulling my flesh against him. Jeremy's tongue worked its way from my mouth, down my neck, and over my shoulder blade. His tongue was like magic to every inch it came in contact with. I was getting wetter with every swift lick of his tongue to my body. He drove me drove me over the edge with little effort. I guessed that was intent of a wet dream, If that were what I was encountering.

All Jeremy had to do was kiss me. Just a kiss made me forget my reason for leaving Forks in the first place. My resolve had faded somewhere in the middle of a dream and actually reality. I couldn't let go of the dream no matter what thoughts circulated inside of my head. I had began to listen to my heart. His hand slid from my back around to my stomach. His soft but firm hands slowly massaging the skin there. He lightly grazed my already hard nipple.

My lips parted and a soft whimper filled the air. Jeremy pulled back and gazed into my eyes. In that moment my heart caved and gave in to him. He smiled as another moan escaped my lips. Something inside of me continued to scream, begging me not to do this but he was entirely too sexy and I loved him far to much to say no. He kissed my lips again, then peppered kisses along my jaw and then neck. His hands traveled down my stomach until they came in to contact with the one place begging for attention.

I whimpered when he massaged me there. Jeremy groaned lightly, and bit his bottom lip.

I couldn't hold back any longer. My lips found his as I coaxed his tongue with mine. I loved the way he tasted. I rocked my hips against his hand as he pushed my panties to the side. Thank god for the night gown I had worn to bed.  
I was begging for him to continue this. His free hand kneaded and massaged my breast. My body wanted more. I needed more. I breathed loudly into his mouth. His hand reached the my panties, and then he stopped.

Jeremy pulled away from me and gazed into my eyes. His right hand pushed a few stray hairs from my eyes, "I can't hold on to this dream any longer."

"Then don't," I whispered. "It's alright."

"Bella, I love you. I wish I could change everything-"

I placed my index finger to his lips to shush him.

"Don't ruin the moment," I whispered. "In my dream none of that matter. Worry about it when your awake."

My lips met his again with so much passion that it seemed to lift us from the ground. Jeremy's finger entered my sex. His thumb pressed firmly on my mound between my moist folds. I needed to touch him too but before I could he pulled away again.

"Come back to me."

My eyes held disappointment as Jeremy vanished.

Lingering tears fell from my eyes as I awoke from my dream and rolled over in the bed. Darkness cover the room in it's entirety. Startled, I sat up in the bed with my hands clenched in the cool sheets. I gazed around the room frantically. I went to bed with a clear mind. Yet there I was panting in the darkness again. I was frozen. Still, as I reached up to trace my lips with my finger tip. The dream felt real. So real that I could still smell his scent. Tears showered my cheeks as I removed myself from the bed. Another sleepless night welcomed me as I realized I had just made the biggest mistake in my life.

"I missed going to the beach," Jade chimed. "The water is so beautiful here."

Renee smiled at Jade, "It is isn't it."

I nodded. We had been at the beach all day which was a great thing because I needed  
to get out and my skin could use some sun. Jade was finally coming around although she was still a bit mopey. I felt like such a horrible person from making her come to Arizona for me. She was not used to being away from family. I also knew that not seeing Jeremy and Alba had an effect on her as well. They had become apart of our lives and to suddenly take them away from her was selfish.

I watched as Jade continued to build a castle of sand. Her pink swimsuit was bedazzled, thanks to Renee. The word princess was written across the front in rhinestones. As if Jade's personality were not good enough to fit the description Renee had to find another way to express that. I gazed out into the sky. It was peaceful here. So much so that I hated the thought that I had to leave in a few weeks. I had to go back and fix the mess made of my life. It was the right thing to do.

"So Bella," Renee began. "I was thinking that if it's not too much to ask that you and Jade could come more often."

I smiled, "Of course. I would never dream of staying away for too long again."  
She gazed warmly at me, "I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you. When you needed me the most I should have put our differences aside and reached out to you. Your my daughter and you suffered so much over the past few years. You had to be a parent to Jade all on your own and I never gave you the respect that I should have," she said as the tears fell from her eyes.

I sat up to meet her gaze and she held my hand in hers. "Your my baby girl. I never meant to hurt you. I just had high hopes for you. I wanted you to experience life in ways that I did not."

"I know that," I said honestly. "But did it ever occur to you that I was happy with the decisions that I made? It's your job to want whats best for me. That is what parents do but it's also your job to support me and my decisions. You missed so much of our lives."

"I know," she replied. "And I want to spend everyday making it up to you both. Bella you have no idea how sorry I am. As your mother I should have been there to help you pick up the pieces when Jacob left."

_Okay, that stung._

"Shhh," I said pulling her in for a hug. "It's alright. I forgive you. You know I dreamt of the day that you would be proud of me."

"Honey, I am proud of you," she admitted. "So very proud of you. Your an amazing mother, and amazing daughter, and a lot stronger than I will ever be. Your like your dad in that way. Always ready to give up everything you believe in for the people who matter."

"I love you," I sobbed into her shoulder.

And I did love her. I loved Renee more than she could ever imagine. The strain on our relationship had been hard to bare. But it was time to move forward and let the past diminish. I deserved to be happy if only for that moment.

Our embrace came to an end. Renee pulled away quickly as she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes, "Look at us, crying our eyes out like a couple of brokenhearted teenagers."

I chuckled and wiped the tears from mine as well. Crying seemed to be my second language. Jade giggled as she ran toward me, "Momma, momma come here. Swim with me."

"Momma is not a good swimmer," I laughed as I stood to my feet.

"I'll show you. Uncle quil says you do it like this," she shouted as her body did some sort of shimmy and she held her nose. "But you have to flop your feet too, like a fish."

I laughed hysterically, "Momma has to do all of that?"

She shrugged, "I guess. That's what uncle Quil said."

The sound of Quil's name brought my guilt to the far front. I was sure that they were worried about me. If I had no doubt that they would run to Arizona and drag Jade and I back to Washington I would have called. Leah must have been driving herself insane. My best friend Leah was pregnant and expecting me to help her every step of the way and I had completely abandoned her. I was selfish.

Selfish and stupid.

"Momma," Jade said. "Are you coming?"

"Sure, princess," I nodded and chased after her.

"You girls be careful," Renee warned. "Wouldn't want Jaws to make an appearance now would we."

**Jacob's point of view**

Stubborn!

Although I really could not blame her. I had broken her heart as well as Bella's. I wish I could have made the situation better but honestly there was not much I could do other than continue to try. But getting through to jade was like climbing mount Everest. I guess I was to blame for that. I was certain what ever stubborn gene both Bella and I carried had double inside of Jade.

I sat quietly at the edge of bed as I watched her intently. She refused to meet my gaze, but I was aware that she knew I was there. She sighed grumpily as she shifted in the bed.

"I know that you can see me Jade," I said softly.

_Silence._

"And I'm sorry. But I've said that already. I never meant for any of this to happen. I'd never dream over hurting you because I love you. So please just say something sweetheart."

_Silence._

I had to admit it hurt more than anything to not hear her sweet little voice or to see her smile the way she always did. It was as if someone had sucked the life from her. Bella couldn't get her to eat or remove her from the bed. All she wanted to do was sleep and she did for most of the day. I just couldn't take Jade being upset with me anymore. She was the only one that I had. Without her I was nothing.

"I'll wait," I said sadly. "I will wait because hearing your beautiful voice is worth it. But just so you know a wise little girl once said everyone deserves a second chance."

I waited for a few minutes before I gazed over my shoulder to see Jade staring at me. Those beautiful brown eyes full of sadness showing me just how much I had hurt her through them.

"Can I lye down with you?" I asked.

She nodded and moved over to make room for me. It was comforting and relaxing beside her. Both of us not saying a word but I could also see the walls that Jade started to build since the day I communicated with Bella through her, crash down. She wouldn't talk to me as I did her. But I knew that she could still see and hear me.

I smiled lightly and pushed a few stray hairs away from her face, "I'm sorry."

She nodded once more, "Jacob, how come I can only see you?"

"I'm not sure," I replied sadly.

"Why did you leave me?" she whispered.

"I did not have a choice. But I've always been here, you know. That is once I realized that I could be here with you. I should have told you a long time ago who I was. But I was afraid. I was afraid that I'd lose you. I'd never be able you look into those gorgeous eyes again or to hear your laugh. I just thought you'd never trust me again. If I had a choice I would have stayed with you and your mother. None of us asked with this but now you stuck in the middle of dysfunction. I never want you to think that this is your fault. It's mine. If I had told your mother the truth about everything maybe things would be different. "

Jade snuggled in to my chest and sniffled, "I have a lot of questions. I missed talking to you. Your my best friend."

I kissed her forehead, "And your father. But you know that already.I'll never get tired of this. You wont be my little girl forever. One day you will grow up and have children of your own and if you don't remember anything that I've ever said to you please Jade just remember this. My mistakes does not define you. You will be a better parent than I have been because you were loved. I can't be there the way I should but I'll always be in here," I said as I pointed to her heart."

After a few moments Jade's tiny snores filled the room. She was fast asleep. I held her closely to me. My mind, body, and soul was at ease. She finally caved and it made me so happy. I did not deserve her forgiveness but I wanted it more than anything. I just hoped that one day everyone else could find it in their heart to forgive me as well. I'd done all that I could to protect them in my previous life. But I could no longer do so.

All that I could do is remain to exist the way that I had. Maybe that was the way my life was meant to be. Maybe I was only meant to appear as a subconscious thought to Jade and nothing more. I'd continue to will her to do the right things in life and hope that she never make the same mistakes I did. I knew that she would make her own mistakes and I'd help her to learn from them.

One day she would become a part of the pack, have her own family, and her own life. I would forever try to exist to see those things happen for her.

Jade stirred in my arms and I released her. I decided maybe it was time for me to go. But then Bella appeared. Her face full of worry as she walked over to the bed and settled in. Turning slightly, I watched as she snuggled in next to Jade. Her eyes never left sight of Jade as her body relaxed against the bed. I smiled as her eyes lids fluttered open and close.

Her body was covered in a white tank top and blue jean shorts. Bella's hair was pulled away from her face in a ponytail, God she was beautiful. She would always be beautiful to me. I couldn't resist laying back down in the bed. Jade was sound to sleep in between us.

As I gazed at Bella I could not help but wonder what they were doing in Arizona. I managed to stay out of Bella's personal life. I couldn't handle seeing her with someone else. She deserved to be happy and I was grateful that someone had managed to put a smile on her face. The only problem was that it was my smile. She used to smile at me that way. My heart couldn't handle it anymore.

So I stayed away.

But it was no secret to me that Bella and Renee had a lot of issues. I was happy that they had put their differences aside for Jade's sake but I had a feeling that there was something else going on. Bella gazed in my direction for a moment and then her attention shifted to the window as she gazed out at the view. A few more moments later her fight with sleep had ended as her eyes closed completely.

Both my girls were sound asleep. The view was breath taking as I removed myself from the bed. I walked round to where Bella was asleep and kneeled down in front of her. I knew that she would not hear any of this but I had to say it to her. It was something I should have said a long time ago.

"Thank you," I whispered. "For loving me and for giving me the best gift any man could ask for, Jade. I loved you both then and I love you the same now. Time will restore all of you that was broken. Maybe Jade could help us both practice the art of forgiveness. Someday you will forgive me and someday I'll learn to forgive myself for what I've done to you."

**A/N: So one of the main questions were answered in this chapter. Jeremy is a hybrid, both witch and werewolf. His mother was a witch and his dad was a were wolf. He has not experienced his werewolf side yet. The blood of the alpha is the only thing that can bring forth the wolf in Jeremy. Jade is still able to see Jacob and Bella is considering that her breakup with Jeremy may had been a mistake. So questions anyone?**


	10. Chapter 8 TEASER!

**A/N:Hey guys:) So I did it. This teaser is only eight pages. Just a heads up this chapter starts with Bella's return to La push exactly one month since she left. Enjoy:)**

**Song suggestion: Ryan Star-Losing your memory, Florence and The machine-Howl**

**_Chapter eight  
The witchy world we live in_**

**B.P.O.V**

An hour after our return to the reservation, Jade was bathed and ready for bed. Rebecca had done her best to keep her composure while Jade was still awake but I could not escape her evil glares.

I tucked Jade into bed. Her eyes were heavy from her lack of sleep. Before I could turn the light out her hand reached out for mine.

"Momma," she said as she yawned.

"Yes, princess?"

"Can Alba come over to play with me tomorrow?"

I sighed. Even though I had been contemplating my break up with Jeremy and whether I made the right decision, I still had every intention of staying away from him right now. There was still so much I had to deal with. I had to face the pack, explain everything to them which I had yet to do. No one knew what Jeremy was or even why I had disappeared for a month. Then, there was the harsh reality of what happened to Jacob and what all of this meant.

"We will see," I said. "Goodnight sweetheart."

I kissed her on the cheek, turned out the light, and exited quietly.

My heartbeat was in my ears as I neared the steps. Rebbecca was waiting impatiently in the living room. I smiled lightly as I stood in the archway, hoping to ease some of the tension, but that was not helping. Her brown eyes stared at me coldly as she folded her arms over her chest.

"Do you have any idea how worried we all were?" she whispered harshly. "Where the hell were you, Bella?"

"I needed a break from all of this," I admitted.

"From all of what?" Rebecca stated angrily.

"Believe it or not Rebecca life on the reservation has been hell. Isn't that why you stayed away all of these years?"

Rebecca stood to her feet. I could see the anger flaring in her eyes as she took a few steps closer to me, "I stayed away because it helped me cope with my brother's disappearing act but even then, I never hid where I was from any of you. Bella, I've never taken off and left that a mystery to anyone. Do you have any idea what that did to me? Jade is the only thing that I have to remember Jacob by and after a month without so much as a phone call I was afraid that I'd never see her again too."

As I watched the tears form in Rebecca's eyes I felt extremely horrible for not telling her that I was going to leave la push for a while. My intentions were not to hurt anyone, but I needed a break from my reality without any interruptions.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I couldn't tell you where I was headed. I did not want Sam, Leah, or anyone else to know where I was. It was for the best. There is so much that has happened, so much that you know nothing about and I just wanted to get away from it all."

"Bella-"

"Let me finish," I said. "I've been through a lot. Do you know that I went to therapy this year? Mostly because I needed to learn to let go of Jacob but more so because I had been cutting myself. The cutting started about a month after I had Jade and continued up until I met Jeremy. Sometimes it was a little prick and then there were days when I thought I'd die if I did not find the will to stop. My life has been hell. I used to listen to the legends about imprinting and think how amazing it was to have a bond with someone that I loved deeply, to have a connection so strong for the rest of my life with the man that I planned to spend my life with. But it's not amazing. It's torture because no one ever said a damn thing about how it would feel to be without him. Sometimes I felt as if I were dying and it did not matter how many times I reminded myself that I had so much to life for. I can't see anyone but him and there isn't anything I can do about that. I've realized that running off to heal did not do me any good. Nothing has changed. I love Jeremy and it's not because he reminded me of Jake so much but because there is so much good in him. But we will always be this, nothing more. He's always going to waiting for the day when I'm all his and I'm afraid that day will never come."

Rebecca wiped a few stray tears from her face as she spoke, "Bella I had no idea. I'm so sorry for all the pain that you are going through. I wish there was a way for me to help you."

"Rebecca I have something to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Jacob...well your family is cursed."

Rebecca looked at me as if I grown an extra head. She gave me an uneasy smile, "Bella, what are you talking about?"

"Your father gave me a journal that belonged to Ephraim Black. Inside of the journal he wrote about a witch name Vera whom he imprinted on. He had to keep the imprint a secret because the tribe thought he had imprinted on his wife, when he had not. His pack found out that he had been intimate with Vera and they ordered that she and her sister leave and never come back. Ephraim refused to leave with her and she cursed him and your family. I know it's a lot to take in and you probably think that I am insane but it's the truth. You can have the journal and read it for yourself."

Rebecca chuckled and sat back down on the couch, "Bella, I'm not cursed. My life has been great. I have everything I want so far except-"

There was a long pause as Rebecca remained in thought. She met my gaze again. Tears formed in her eyes, " Bella where is the journal? I need to read it."

"Sure."

I went to get the journal from my room and returned to living room. Rebecca wanted to be alone. I did not blame her. I had faced enough tragedies in one day. Sleep was the only thing on my mind as I left her alone with the journal.

#

The next day Rebecca had agreed to take Jade to see Billy. It was in my best interest not to do so. Billy and I were not seeing eye to eye before I left and he was pretty pissed that I had run off with Jade as well. The only thing left to do was the right thing. I made my way to to Leah's house. She was not exactly enthusiastic to see me, not that I expected her to be. Sam and Paul were there as well.

Closing the door behind me, I turned back to Leah who was lounging on the couch. She gazed at me coldly, "You have some nerve just walking in here, Isabella Swan. Where the hell have you been? I thought something awful happened to you. How could you leave me so worried Bella? I'm pregnant for Christ sake."

Sam walked out of the kitchen and grabbed my arm, "Leah, you'll get you chance with her but right now Bella and I are going to have a chat outside."

I snatched my arm from his grip, "Hands off, Sam."

"Outside, now," he stated coldly.

"Don't you use that alpha tone with me," I scolded him.

Paul interjected, "Bella, listen to Sam otherwise I'll toss you over my shoulder and carry you out."

"You wouldn't," I said meeting his gaze.

Paul smirked, "Want to try me?"

There was no doubt in my mind that he would not do so. That is why I gave in to Sam's order and went outside with them. Once we were outside with the door shut, Sam, being Sam flew off the handle.

"Are you insane?" he cried. "Out of everything that you have ever done, and you've done some pretty stupid shit, this has to be the most reckless thing that you have done so far."

"Excuse me?" I asked disbelieving.

"How the hell am I supposed to protect you when you run off."

I pointed my index finger at him and took a step closer, "First, I don't need you to protect me all the time. I am a adult so stop treating me like your kid sister. I'm free to come and go as I please."

"You are," Sam shouted. " Jade is not. You can't just run off with her. What if something would have happened to her? She's important."

"Sam, you're not her father. It's not your call where I take my daughter."

Sam looked at me as if I had just slapped him in the face, "I don't think that you understand."

"Oh I do," I stated harshly. "I'm not allowed to leave La push, to love anyone else but Jacob, or talk to anyone outside of the reservation because you are afraid that I will share your secrets with the world. I'm not allowed to live. I did not run off to piss you off. I did what was best for Jade and I."

Sam inhaled deeply, "Your not a prisoner here, Bella. I'm not responsible for the fact that you and Jacob ended up together . I just want to know one thing, would have hurt for you to pick up the phone. You could have called and let us know that you were fine. If you needed a break it would have been alright with us because we love you. I know better than anyone what you've gone through. I've always been there for you and Jade. I always will be but I can't do that if you run off."

Sam had a point. No matter how upset I was or what I was going through, what I did was wrong. I'd done the same thing Jacob had done to them. Only what I had did was worse. I'd taken Jade from them.

"Sam, I'm sorry."

"I know," he said as he pulled me in for a hug. "Just never do that to me again Bella. I'd never forgive myself if anything ever happened to you or Jade."

"Oh come on," Paul laughed. "You two are acting like a bunch of pansies."

I pulled away from Sam and glared at him, "Your such a pest."

"Bella, where is Jade?" Paul asked curiously. "I want to tickle her senseless right about now.

I smiled,"Rebecca took her to see Billy. I had to come over here alone because I need to tell you guys something important."

"What is it?" Paul asked.

Reluctantly I part my lips as I blurted out the words, "Jeremy is a witch,"

Sam scratched his head in confusion and gazed over at Paul and then back to me, "A witch?"

"A witch," I shouted. "With magic and everything."

Paul laughed hysterically before asking, "Well how do you know? Did he show you his broom?"

"That's not funny," I rolled my eyes. "He told me. There were vampires at his house before I left. He's really a witch."

"Wait," Sam said. "You skipped town knowing this?"

I nodded meekly, "Yeah. Sorry."

"We will deal with this. Don't you dare utter a thing of this to Leah. She's been under a lot of pressure lately and stress is never a good thing in her case."

I agreed, "But what do you mean deal with this? Sam your not going to do anything stupid are you? You don't know what your dealing with."

"I read the rest of the journal while you were gone. I know far more than you do at this moment. After Vera left the reservation Ephraim went after her."

"After everything?"

"Yes. Your never going to believe this."

#

Rebecca called an hour ago to tell me that they would be longer than she anticipated. After taking a shower, I decided to just relax in bed until they arrived. Closing my eyes I began to drift to sleep until a loud noise startled me.

There was movement coming from downstairs. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach as I grabbed my bath robe and walked slowly out into the hallway. It was dark and I cursed the fact that the light switch was at the bottom of the staircase. Slowly, I proceeded down the stairs.

"Rebecca," I called. "Jade."

The silence began to eat away at me once I reached the bottom step. Reaching for the light switch, I held my stance as I turned it on.

_Nothing._

The house was completely empty. Fear had a way of taking a hold of me. Normally when I was home alone I was relaxed or asleep but for some reason I was on edge. I walked into the kitchen to fix a glass of water. After a minute of finishing off the water and washing out the cup, I made my way back into the dinning room.

A voice startled me. "I told you that I would see you soon."

My heart sank to my feet as I took a step back hoping I was close enough to reach a knife in the dish rack on the kitchen counter.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. You don't want to make me angry," she warned.

I reached for the knife anyway only to have it slapped from my grip in an instant. Ever shoved me against the counter, scattering the contents on it to the floor. Her hands were at my throat as I tried desperately to fight back.

"I came here to talk to you," she said through clenched teeth. "Don't make me kill you. That would not sit very well with Jeremy. I'm going to release you but only if you behave yourself."

I nodded in agreement and she removed her hands from my throat. Air finally filled my lungs as I collapsed to the floor coughing.

"Get up," she stated coldly. "Now."

"What do you want?" I coughed up.

" I want you on your feet now!"

I stumbled to my feet. Gazing into her eyes were like looking at something forbidden. Just the sight scared me. She smiled wickedly,

"This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

**_A/N: So what did you guys think? How do you feel about Ever? What do you think she want to discuss with Bella? What do think the pack will do about Jeremy? What else did Sam find out about in the journal? Do you think Rebecca went to speak with Billy about the curse? Ugh so many questions...I hope you enjoyed the preview._**


	11. Chapter 8The witchy world we live in

**Chapter eight  
The witchy world we live in**

B.P.O.V

An hour after our return to the reservation, Jade was bathed and ready for bed. Rebecca had done her best to keep her composure while Jade was still awake but I could not escape her evil glares.

I tucked Jade into bed. Her eyes were heavy from her lack of sleep. Before I could turn the light out her hand reached out for mine.

"Momma," she said as she yawned.

"Yes, princess?"

"Can Alba come over to play with me tomorrow?"

I sighed. Even though I had been contemplating my break up with Jeremy and whether I made the right decision, I still had every intention of staying away from him right now. There was still so much I had to deal with. I had to face the pack, explain everything to them which I had yet to do. No one knew what Jeremy was or even why I had disappeared for a month. Then, there was the harsh reality of what happened to Jacob and what all of this meant.

"We will see," I said. "Goodnight sweetheart."

I kissed her on the cheek, turned out the light, and exited quietly.

My heartbeat was in my ears as I neared the steps. Rebbecca was waiting impatiently in the living room. I smiled lightly as I stood in the archway, hoping to ease some of the tension, but that was not helping. Her brown eyes stared at me coldly as she folded her arms over her chest.

"Do you have any idea how worried we all were?" she whispered harshly. "Where the hell were you, Bella?"

"I needed a break from all of this," I admitted.

"From all of what?" Rebecca stated angrily.

"Believe it or not Rebecca life on the reservation has been hell. Isn't that why you stayed away all of these years?"

Rebecca stood to her feet. I could see the anger flaring in her eyes as she took a few steps closer to me, "I stayed away because it helped me cope with my brother's disappearing act but even then, I never hid where I was from any of you. Bella, I've never taken off and left that a mystery to anyone. Do you have any idea what that did to me? Jade is the only thing that I have to remember Jacob by and after a month without so much as a phone call I was afraid that I'd never see her again too."

As I watched the tears form in Rebecca's eyes I felt extremely horrible for not telling her that I was going to leave la push for a while. My intentions were not to hurt anyone, but I needed a break from my reality without any interruptions.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I couldn't tell you where I was headed. I did not want Sam, Leah, or anyone else to know where I was. It was for the best. There is so much that has happened, so much that you know nothing about and I just wanted to get away from it all."

"Bella-"

"Let me finish," I said. "I've been through a lot. Do you know that I went to therapy this year? Mostly because I needed to learn to let go of Jacob but more so because I had been cutting myself. The cutting started about a month after I had Jade and continued up until I met Jeremy. Sometimes it was a little prick and then there were days when I thought I'd die if I did not find the will to stop. My life has been hell. I used to listen to the legends about imprinting and think how amazing it was to have a bond with someone that I loved deeply, to have a connection so strong for the rest of my life with the man that I planned to spend my life with. But it's not amazing. It's torture because no one ever said a damn thing about how it would feel to be without him. Sometimes I felt as if I were dying and it did not matter how many times I reminded myself that I had so much to life for. I can't see anyone but him and there isn't anything I can do about that. I've realized that running off to heal did not do me any good. Nothing has changed. I love Jeremy and it's not because he reminded me of Jake so much but because there is so much good in him. But we will always be this, nothing more. He's always going to waiting for the day when I'm all his and I'm afraid that day will never come."

Rebecca wiped a few stray tears from her face as she spoke, "Bella I had no idea. I'm so sorry for all the pain that you are going through. I wish there was a way for me to help you."

"Rebecca I have something to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Jacob...well your family is cursed."

Rebecca looked at me as if I grown an extra head. She gave me an uneasy smile, "Bella, what are you talking about?"

"Your father gave me a journal that belonged to Ephraim Black. Inside of the journal he wrote about a witch name Villa whom he imprinted on. He had to keep the imprint a secret because the tribe thought he had imprinted on his wife, when he had not. His pack found out that he had been intimate with Villa and they ordered that she and her sister leave and never come back. Ephraim refused to leave with her and she cursed him and your family. I know it's a lot to take in and you probably think that I am insane but it's the truth. You can have the journal and read it for yourself."

Rebecca chuckled and sat back down on the couch, "Bella, I'm not cursed. My life has been great. I have everything I want so far except-"

There was a long pause as Rebecca remained in thought. She met my gaze again. Tears formed in her eyes, " Bella where is the journal? I need to read it."

"Sure."

I went to get the journal from my room and returned to living room. Rebecca wanted to be alone. I did not blame her. I had faced enough tragedies in one day. Sleep was the only thing on my mind as I left her alone with the journal.

The next day Rebecca had agreed to take Jade to see Billy. It was in my best interest not to do so. Billy and I were not seeing eye to eye before I left and he was pretty pissed that I had run off with Jade as well. The only thing left to do was the right thing. I made my way to to Leah's house. She was not exactly enthusiastic to see me, not that I expected her to be. Sam and Paul were there as well.

Closing the door behind me, I turned back to Leah who was lounging on the couch. She gazed at me coldly, "You have some nerve just walking in here, Isabella Swan. Where the hell have you been? I thought something awful happened to you. How could you leave me so worried Bella? I'm pregnant for Christ sake."

Sam walked out of the kitchen and grabbed my arm, "Leah, you'll get you chance with her but right now Bella and I are going to have a chat outside."

I snatched my arm from his grip, "Hands off, Sam."

"Outside, now," he stated coldly.

"Don't you use that alpha tone with me," I scolded him.

Paul interjected, "Bella, listen to Sam otherwise I'll toss you over my shoulder and carry you out."

"You wouldn't," I said meeting his gaze.

Paul smirked, "Want to try me?"

There was no doubt in my mind that he would not do so. That is why I gave in to Sam's order and went outside with them. Once we were outside with the door shut, Sam, being Sam flew off the handle.

"Are you insane?" he cried. "Out of everything that you have ever done, and you've done some pretty stupid shit, this has to be the most reckless thing that you have done so far."

"Excuse me?" I asked disbelieving.

"How the hell am I supposed to protect you when you run off."

I pointed my index finger at him and took a step closer, "First, I don't need you to protect me all the time. I am a adult so stop treating me like your kid sister. I'm free to come and go as I please."

"You are," Sam shouted. " Jade is not. You can't just run off with her. What if something would have happened to her? She's important."

"Sam, you're not her father. It's not your call where I take my daughter."

Sam looked at me as if I had just slapped him in the face, "I don't think that you understand."

"Oh I do," I stated harshly. "I'm not allowed to leave La push, to love anyone else but Jacob, or talk to anyone outside of the reservation because you are afraid that I will share your secrets with the world. I'm not allowed to live. I did not run off to piss you off. I did what was best for Jade and I."

Sam inhaled deeply, "Your not a prisoner here, Bella. I'm not responsible for the fact that you and Jacob ended up together . I just want to know one thing, would have hurt for you to pick up the phone. You could have called and let us know that you were fine. If you needed a break it would have been alright with us because we love you. I know better than anyone what you've gone through. I've always been there for you and Jade. I always will be but I can't do that if you run off."

Sam had a point. No matter how upset I was or what I was going through, what I did was wrong. I'd done the same thing Jacob had done to them. Only what I had did was worse. I'd taken Jade from them.

"Sam, I'm sorry."

"I know," he said as he pulled me in for a hug. "Just never do that to me again Bella. I'd never forgive myself if anything ever happened to you or Jade."

"Oh come on," Paul laughed. "You two are acting like a bunch of pansies."

I pulled away from Sam and glared at him, "Your such a pest."

"Bella, where is Jade?" Paul asked curiously. "I want to tickle her senseless right about now.

I smiled,"Rebecca took her to see Billy. I had to come over here alone because I need to tell you guys something important."

"What is it?" Paul asked.

Reluctantly I part my lips as I blurted out the words, "Jeremy is a witch,"

Sam scratched his head in confusion and gazed over at Paul and then back to me, "A witch?"

"A witch," I shouted. "With magic and everything."

Paul laughed hysterically before asking, "Well how do you know? Did he show you his broom?"

"That's not funny," I rolled my eyes. "He told me. There were vampires at his house before I left. He's really a witch."

"Wait," Sam said. "You skipped town knowing this?"

I nodded meekly, "Yeah. Sorry."

"We will deal with this. Don't you dare utter a thing of this to Leah. She's been under a lot of pressure lately and stress is never a good thing in her case."

I agreed, "But what do you mean deal with this? Sam your not going to do anything stupid are you? You don't know what your dealing with."

"I read the rest of the journal while you were gone. I know far more than you do at this moment. After Villa left the reservation Ephraim went after her."

"After everything?"

"Yes. Your never going to believe this."

Rebecca called an hour ago to tell me that they would be longer than she anticipated. After taking a shower, I decided to just relax in bed until they arrived. Closing my eyes I began to drift to sleep until a loud noise startled me.

There was movement coming from downstairs. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach as I grabbed my bath robe and walked slowly out into the hallway. It was dark and I cursed the fact that the light switch was at the bottom of the staircase. Slowly, I proceeded down the stairs.

"Rebecca," I called. "Jade."

The silence began to eat away at me once I reached the bottom step. Reaching for the light switch, I held my stance as I turned it on.

Nothing.

The house was completely empty. Fear had a way of taking a hold of me. Normally when I was home alone I was relaxed or asleep but for some reason I was on edge. I walked into the kitchen to fix a glass of water. After a minute of finishing off the water and washing out the cup, I made my way back into the dinning room.

A voice startled me. "I told you that I would see you soon."

My heart sank to my feet as I took a step back hoping I was close enough to reach a knife in the dish rack on the kitchen counter.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. You don't want to make me angry," she warned.

I reached for the knife anyway only to have it slapped from my grip in an instant. Ever shoved me against the counter, scattering the contents on it to the floor. Her hands were at my throat as I tried desperately to fight back.

"I came here to talk to you," she said through clenched teeth. "Don't make me kill you. That would not sit very well with Jeremy. I'm going to release you but only if you behave yourself."

I nodded in agreement and she removed her hands from my throat. Air finally filled my lungs as I collapsed to the floor coughing.

"Get up," she stated coldly. "Now."

"What do you want?" I coughed up.

" I want you on your feet now!"

I stumbled to my feet. Gazing into her eyes were like looking at something forbidden. Just the sight scared me. She smiled wickedly,

"This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

#

_Trust?_

After breaking into my house, attacking me, and instilling a fear inside of me like never before, Ever sat across from me asking me to trust her. How could I? or better yet why should I? I did not know her or what she was capable of. For all I knew she could have been planning my death. As I gazed at her jealousy fled through me.

The thought of someone so beautiful and superior close to Jeremy made me angry. Never once did he tell me that she was present at his home. How long had she been there? How much had she meant to him? So many questions circulated inside of my head.

"Bella," Ever started. "I did not come here to kill you. I did not come here to confuse you anymore than you already are. I'm here to enlighten you."

I raised an eyebrow, "Enlighten me?"

"Yes," she said as she crossed her long leg over the other. "You left before Jeremy could explain to you what all of this mean or even who he is. Honestly, I don't trust Jeremy to tell you the complete truth."

"And why is that?"

"Because he loves you. He's a lot like me, we would never hurt the ones that we love."

"But you would hurt strangers?"

She nodded, "There is a big scary world out there Bella. Jeremy lied to protect you."

"I'm not protected if I am ignorant," I stated. "And it's not his job to protect me. My life has not been all rainbows and butterflies. I've been through a lot but here I am."

"That's where you are wrong. Ignorant is the best way to be."

"Yeah well if you came to speak Jeremy's peace feel free to leave. I'm not really interested in why he lied to me. The only thing that matters is that he did. We are over."

Ever stood to her feet and stared me straight into my eyes, "That's good news to me. You should be over. Jeremy can do so much better than you. I'm not saying that because I love him, I'm saying that because it's the truth. His life is full of magic and pain. Happiness will never survive in his world. You don't belong in it. I hate the fact that he is so attached to you. Your weak and pathetic. He was there for you and all you can do is stand here and say that you are over. I realize that you are afraid. This life terrifies you. But here is a news flash you can't escape it. You never will. You should have thought of that before you fucked a werewolf and had his kid."

Anger fled through me quickly. How dare she stand in my home and say that to me. I took a step closer to her, "I'm two seconds away from giving you a reason to kill me."

"Really?" she smirked. "As much as I would love to take you up on that offer I can't. I need something from you. Bella you and I are alike. We would do anything to get our happy endings. So I want to make you an offer that you would never refuse."

I folded my arms across my chest, "An offer? Why would I make an offer with you?"  
"Because I can help you bring your husband back."

"How do you know so much about me? What do you know about my husband? What do you mean you can bring him back? Back from where?" I shouted angrily.

"None of that matters. What does matter is that if you hold your end of the bargain I will hold mine."

"What exactly is my end of the bargain?"

"Blood," she stated simply. "And lots of it. I want you to meet me in Seattle two days from now, alone. You and I are going to take a little trip."

Ever headed for the door. I gripped her arm tightly, stopping her from proceeding forward. She gazed at me coldly and snatched from my grip.

"I'm not giving you my blood," I said through clenched teeth.

"It's not your blood that I want and if you as so much breath our little conversation with anyone the offer is void. I'll see you in two days."

I watched in disbelief as she walked out of the door.

#

Keeping what Ever and I had discussed, a secret was eatting a way at me. Being in the same room as anyone was torture. I barely uttered a word because I was afraid that I would share this new information with someone. My thoughts of Jacob was at an all time high. I was an nervous wreck. As I watched Jade coloring in her her coloring book in the living room floor, I sighed. She still seemed very depressed. Being home had not changed her mood at all.

As the days passed since we came back, she spoke less and less. It was not normal and bothered me terribly. My princess had never been quiet and her silence was a hard thing to deal with.

Making my way over to her, I sat down in the floor beside her. Jade attention shifted from her book to me. I smiled at her, "Can I color with you?"

Jade nodded yes and slid her coloring book over.

"How are you feeling today?" I asked.

"Lonely," she stated. "Are Jeremy and Alba coming over today?"

"Can we take a minute from coloring to talk, princess?" I asked sadly.

Jade placed the crayon in her hand and sat up to face me. I took her hands into mine, " Jeremy and I are not together anymore."

"Why?" she asked. "We were all happy. We were a family. I had a sister. I felt like I had a daddy."

Tears formed in my eyes as her words sank in. Jade had never had a family the way all of the other kids in La push had. It had begun to feel like a family to me too.

"I know this is hard for you."

"No," she said. "Mom, you don't."

"Yes I do," I told her. "Jade I know exactly how hard this all is for you and that hurt me more than anything. I want to make this right but I don't know how. I want to be with Jeremy and I want us to be a family but-"

"Why can't we? if that's what we both want," she asked.

"Because we both want something else more. We want your daddy," I told her.

"But we can't have him," she replied. "We can never have him. So we should move on. We should be happy. That's what daddy want."

"Is that what he really want?" I asked. "Does he want me to let go of him?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I could ask him, if that's what he want."

"Would you do that for mommy?" I asked her.

I watched as Jade stood to her feet. Curiosity took a hold of me as she gazed down at me.

"How does this work?"

She smiled, " Like this," she murmed closing her eyes. " Jacob"

I waited for a few moments. Jade opened her eyes. Her attention shifted over my shoulder, behind me. I turned my head slightly but saw nothing but the wall. She beamed that bright smile of hers and waved, "Hi, daddy."

Silence.

"Do you want to color with mommy and I?" she asked.

Jade nodded quickly and sat back down. She patted the floor beside her for a second. As I watched, I had to admit this felt silly. I was about to attempt to have a conversation to someone I could not see. My gaze left jade and stared at the empty space beside her. She smirked and got on her knees. Jade placed her tiny hands on each side of my face and adjusted my head, "There," she beamed. "Perfect."

"Am I looking at him?" I asked.

She nodded, "Right in the eyes."

I couldn't feel anything. I felt empty and awkward.

_Relax Bella._

"Relax, Bells," Jade said.

_Here goes._

"I want to help you, Jacob. I can't believe that I want to after all you have put me through but I owe it to Jade. She's going to need you soon. You an I both know that. I have to put my feelings aside right now and be a parent. So do you. Let's start with telling me where you go when you leave Jade?"

"I can't say," Jade said.

"Yes you can. We don't keep secrets, Jake. We never have and Jade can handle this. She's proven that. You can't hurt us anymore than you have."

"It's not that simple," she said, her attention was on the him as well.

"It is," I said calmly. "You've tried this method already, Jacob, shutting everyone out and handling your problems on your own. Don't you think it's time to try a new one. Let me help you."

Silence.

I bit my lip in anticipation as I waited. I was unsure of what sort of response I would get. Jacob was still the same, always trying to be hid own man. The only problem with that was he couldn't fix this.

"Jacob, I'll sit here all night. I'm not here trying to help you for your benefit. It's for Jade so quit being a stubborn ass."

"Mom," Jade said, turning her attention to me. "You said a bad word."

"I'm sorry, princess," I said sincerely. " Your father...well he's being an idiot."

She chuckled, "Dad says you make the cutest face when you angry."

"Jacob," I snapped. "Listen to me, you have to tell me something."

"This is my life," Jade said. "Stop trying to save me. I can't be saved. I don't want you to waste any more of your life on me."

"Your impossible," I hissed. "Do you really want me to let go of you, Jacob? Is that what you want?"

"I want you to be happy," Jade said, repeating after him. "That's all I ever wanted, even if that mean that you have to be happy with someone else."

I sighed and stood to my feet. It had been only a few minutes but I was already done with having that conversation. Jacob was still Jacob, impossible. He accepted the fate that was given to him. He was shutting me out again. That had always been our problem. He never learned that his problems were mine as well. He was my better half. He had the ability to build me up, making me whole, and the ability to tare me down, making me feel like nothing at all.

Jade reached out to me, "Where are you going mommy?"

"Nowhere," I said to her. "Enjoy your time with your daddy. I'm going to lye down  
for a few alright sweetie. Goodbye, Jacob."

"Okay mommy."

#

Later that night, as I sat on the edge of my bed, Rebecca knocked at the door. I did not have the heart to tell her to leave me alone, although I wanted to be alone. My brain was on overload. Jacob wanted me to move on, believe me I wanted to, but I could not stop thinking of how happy Jade was when he appeared earlier.

She needed him and as he mother it was my duty to give her what she need. I was restless, emotionally exhausted, and sexually frustrated. I could not stop thinking of those steamy dreams I had of Jeremy back in Arizona. He barely uttered a word in them, but physically he said a lot. I missed him, I could admit that to myself. What I could not do was give him what he wanted.

I could not be with him the way we both wanted. However, I did need to talk to him.  
I needed more awnsers. My anger had been replaced with curiosity. I was curious to know where this all began or better, where this all would end.

"Come in."

Rebecca opened the door, came in, and closed it. She stood with her back firmly pressed to my bedroom door. She was wearing her pajamas and her hair pushed back away from her face. Her features were hard, like she had not slept in days.

"Hey," I greeted her. "Where have you been?"

"I needed to clear my head. I spoke with dad the other day and this is still hard for me to take in. I'm not sure whether I should feel sorry for him or be pissed at him."

"I know what you mean," I admitted.

"This entire time he knew all of this and never shared any of it with me. I don't know how to handle it. There has to be some way to fix this, Bella," she sobbed.  
"Poor, Jacob. My brother is...he's de-"

"Don't say that," I snapped. "He is not dead."

"Then what is he?" she asked. "I've never heard of an in-between. It's bullshit. Is he dead or alive? I've been asking myself that question for the past few days. Why was my brother's life taken from him? It just does not make any since to me at all."

I sighed," I don't know what you want me to say, Rebecca."

"Say that you plan to talk to Jeremy. Sam went to dad about what Jeremy is. There has to be a way to undo this."

"Even if there were, why would Jeremy want to help bring him back? Jeremy is in love with me."

Rebecca took a step closer to me, tears lingering in her eyes as she spoke, "You have to try, Bella. You have to make him see just how cruel this curse is. My family did nothing to deserve this. Have you not thought of what this will mean for  
Jade?" she asked. "She's one of us, Bella. I can't believe you have not thought of what sort of cruel punishment she's going to face."  
_  
Shit, I can't believe that slipped my mind._

I stood to my feet, "But she's fine."

"For now, " Rebecca stated coldly. "But if you don't do something. I will. This has to end before anyone else get hurt. I'm not going to stand by and watch something awful happen to my innocent niece."

"I'll talk to him. I promise. You don't mind watching Jade tomorrow while I do so?"

"Not at all."

Rebecca left me alone with my thoughts. I planned to talk to Jeremy. But I was more interested in Ever's offer. That was what I planned to deal with first.

**J.P.O.V (Jeremy)**

I began to practice magic again.

Wrong move. It seemed as if my body craved it. I'd find myself with my head in a spell book, trying to occupy my time. This was not getting any easier for me. I was miserable and weak. Being close to Ever again made me insecure. I wish it was that easy, to wake up in the morning and not care about the world around me. But I was nothing like her. My feelings existed and I felt pain everyday. It was pain for the things that I lost and the life that I would never have. My life was a world wind of what was right and what was wrong. Not using magic had helped me separate the two of them. The problem was that magic fought back. It ate away at you conscious.

Once you had a taste of it, it was hard to resist.

I paced the length of my living room, running my fingers frantically through my hair, and mumbling to myself. It had been a week, a whole fucking week. It's not like I expected Bella to show up at my door willing to reconcile. But my heart could not help but hope for that. Love makes you do crazy things. That was why I had been invading her dreams to get my Bella fix. I could not help it. My body wanted to be close to her, to feel loved by her. I wanted to be consumed by her.

I froze.

Someone was coming.

I could feel it in bones. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door that startled me. I turned to it and focused on the door hard. It flew open and a familiar person stood there, alone, with a cold expression of their face.

"We need to talk," he said.

"So talk," I hissed. "If you came here looking for a fight, I refuse to give you one."

Sam smirked, "I would not have shown up in this form if that was what I wanted.  
What I want is some answers. I want to know why you are here, where the fuck you came from, and what can be done about this curse placed upon, Jacob."

"I'm not intimidated by you," I laughed. "You expect me to awnser all of your questions, why? You never really liked me anyway."

"Now I have a reason why," Sam stated. "I want to talk. We need to other wise things could get really ugly. I'm here to figure this out because I know you mean something to Bella."

"Yeah well I screwed that up," I said meekly.

"I know. Here is you chance to really help her. This is how you can make this right. You can answer my questions."

Sam meant nothing to me. But he meant a lot to Bella and Bella meant something to me. The last thing that I wanted was for this too get out of hand. I blew out an angry breath, "Come in."

I had to admit, sitting across from Sam was a little scarey. He had an edge to him. I could tell he wanted a fight. But I knew better than that. A fight was the last thing that I wanted.

"So, your a witch."

"Half of me," I stated. "The other half is just like you."

Sam's eyes grew wide, "As in-"

"As in a hybrid and I prefer the term warlock, not witch."

"How is that possible?" he asked confused.

"You really want to ask stupid questions, or do you want to get straight to the point?" I asked annoyed. "You don't give a damn about me or my story."

"Your right," Sam admitted. "I don't give a fuck about who you are, where you came from, or where you plan to go next. All that I know is a very long time ago a witch placed a curse on Jacob's family and that curse has been haunting them from generation to generation. I don't care what hocus pocus bullshit you have to come up with, but you and your little cult had better lift the curse of else."

Sam humored me. He was really being naive. The fact that he was demanding  
impossible things of me was nearly insane. I'd expect someone of his stature to be a bit more alert and mature. But here he was, using his tone of authority, that meant nothing to me, speaking as if I owed him a favor. As I said, humorous.

I folded my arms, "Insulting me won't get you any awnsers. Your wasting your time asking me to undo a spell. Why would I want to help, Jacob? I don't owe him anything."

"No you don't owe him anything. I but I figured that you'd have a heart. Jacob is my best friend. I'm trying to help him and his family," Sam sincerely stated.

He was right, I did have a heart. I wanted to be cold hearted and ruthless but I could not. I did not have it in me.

"Dark magic is what is used to perform curses," I stated. "I don't practice dark magic. There are rules, Sam. It's not as simple as you think. Magic is like a person. If you abuse a person there is always a possibility that a person will fight back. It works that way with magic. Those of us who practice dark magic can't undo the side effects of it. So I don't practice it. Besides a curse is not easy to undo and it would take a great amount of magic and energy to do so."

"But you can undo a curse right?" he asked.

I nodded, "I would need the original spell in order to do so. There would also have to be a sacrifice."

"Sacrifice?"

"Yeah. The energy has to be placed somewhere. Without a sacrifice, the witch would suck the darkness inside of them and die. The rebirth of someone mean the end of the road for another."

Sam remained deep in thought. By the expression on his face, he seemed to be having an inner struggle with himself. After a few moments of silence, he spoke again.

"Someone has to die in order to bring Jacob back?"

"Yes, but even with a sacrifice you will still need the original spell from the witch who cast it."

"Can't you just write a new one?" he asked.

" No, I can't," I said coldly. "Even if I could, again why would I want to. You have not given me one good reason why I should."

"Because you love Bella. You would do anything for her to be happy again."

"I'd do anything but that. Bella and I will be happy again and I can promise you that Jacob will not be present to destroy that."

As I suspected, good guy Sam was gone. Sam demeanor changed, his fists clenched in fury as he glared at me.

"Don't do anything crazy, like phasing in my living room."

"Your tempting me."

"Really?" I said snarly. "Jacob will not be a problem of mine. So if you would excuse me, I have matters to attend to."

Sam chuckled harshly, "This is not over. You do understand what this mean, you've pushed all of the wrong buttons. You don't have to worry about Jacob keeping you and Bella apart, because I will."

"Goodnight Sam."

"Go to hell," he hissed before storming out of the door. I waved a finger and the door shut behind him.

"Fuck."

#

Alba sat at the kitchen table eating eggs that I prepared her. I leaned against the counter and watched her closely. She gazed up from her plate and smiled before taking another bite. I winked at her took another sip of my coffee. Ever walked into the kitchen, fully dressed, with her car keys and sunglasses in hand. I raised an eyebrow as she walked past me, toward the refrigerator, and opened it. She took out a banana and peeled it. She placed the tip to her lips and gazed at me, "Eye problem?"

I shook my head no, "Where are you headed today?" I asked.

"I have a hot lunch date," she smiled before taking a bite of her banana.

"You don't waste any time do you?" I asked. "So where did you meet this guy?"

"It's a woman," she smiled seductively.

"Didn't know you switched teams," I called over my shoulder as I walked and joined Alba at the table.

"I'm team Switzerland," she said humorously. "And no you can't watch."

"Watch what?" Alba asked curiously.

I turned to her, "Cartoons, honey."

"Oh," she said before sipping her orange juice.

Ever chuckled, "Don't wait up."

Ever exited the kitchen.

"Wasn't planning on it," I whispered.

"Heard that," she yelled from the other room.

"Bionic hearing?" Alba asked.

"you got it kid," I laughed.

"So, what are we doing today?" she asked.

"You get to use your magic today."

Alba looked at me with a puzzled expression on her face, "But I thought you said I shouldn't use it."

"Daddy is curious about how much power you are packing kid. You finally get to rest it out."

"Really?"

I nodded. I'd been against Alba using her magic. She had generations of power inside of her. It would be over whelming for her. But in case I decided to give Bella up and do a good deed it would take more power than I possed and a miracle. But, as I said, I'd have to grow a heart bigger than I had in order to give up the best thing that had happened to me. She'd come around soon because she love me.

**B.P.O.V**

After dropping Jade off to Charlie, I headed to Seattle. My mind was in a frenzy. It was possible that again, I was walking into a trap. It would not be the first and probably not the last. But it registered to me that Ever needed something from me. I was safe with her, for now. She had a way to get Jacob back so it made complete sense to hear her out and not go to the pack with this.

Jade was my number one priority. Bringing back Jacob would be what is best for her.

Although I love him, my heart still can not get over what he did to me. The curse was not his fault. Leaving was not his fault but my suffering was. If he had told me things would have been different. I would not have spent seven years of my life torturing myself.

Ever asked me to meet her at a local coffee shop. That seemed weird. I was sure that she would ask me to meet in the back of the an alley, out of sight. She just seemed like that short of chick. I waited nerviously at a table at the back of the cafe. About ten minutes later Ever came walking through the door. Her gaze held mine as she walked over to the table quickly.

"Your late," I rolled my eyes.

"I arrived here over an hour ago," she said, before taking a seat. "I had to be sure you were not being followed."

"So you can ask me to trust you, but you did not think that I would keep my word?" I asked her.

"Precisely. Do you want any coffee?" she asked.

"Is that your big idea?" I snapped. "To bring me here and torment me further?"

"No," Ever stated. "You and I are going to go on a little road trip."

"Where? I'm not going anywhere with you alone?"

Ever rolled her eyes, "If I wanted to harm you, I would have done that two days ago."

"Well, where are you taking me? and how do you plan to get Jacob back?"

"I'm taking to Oak Harbor, Washington. It's where I grew up. It's also where a very special person to me died. Have you ever talked to the dead, Bella?"

I shook my head no.

"Well there is a first time for everything. Let's go."

(**Jacob's point of view)**

Bella was up to something.

I did not know what, but she had been so fidgety and anxious when she dropped Jade off to Charlie. I watched Jade play with her barbies on the floor as I laid on the bed in her playroom, which was Bella's old room.

Why did she insist on trying to help me? I was beyond help and I'd learned to be alright with that. She needed to let go of me. I knew that she wanted to do what was best for Jade but this was not it. Leaving Jade with Charlie to something that may or may not benefit herself was not what she should have been doing. She deserved to enjoy her life, to smile, and walk up not feeling obligated to things for other people, me being other people.

"Daddy?" Jade chimed. "Do you really think you can never be visible?"

"Yes."

"Why?" she asked sweetly.

"It's complicated."

"Would you be alright if Jeremy came back?"

"If it made you both happy," I admitted. "Yes I would."

"Good," she smiled. "Because I like Jeremy. He should be a part of our family. You would like him too, daddy."

"I'm sure I'd be a fan of anyone who can make you smile like that," I said. "But, what about Alba? I thought she was your friend?"

"She is," Jade stated. "They both are. I want them to be a part of our lives forever."

"You do?" I asked curiously.

"Yes. I did not want to say anything, but in Arizona I was really sad because Jeremy and Alba were not there. Being there did not feel right and it made me sad."

"Why do you think it made you so sad to be away from them, princess?" I asked moving to the edge of the bed.

"I don't know," she said sadly. "It feels good to be with them, it's like we were a family."

Tears formed in my eyes as I gazed down at her, "I really wish life was not this way. You want someone to take my place, to be the father I'll never be."

"No one can ever take your place, Jacob. You know that. Your important to me."

"I can't help but feel this way sometimes, kid. Jeremy seems to be what you need him to be, a father to you."

"Mommy says they are not together anymore. Maybe theyll be friends again soon. I miss them," Jade said as she went back to play with her barbies.

I sat at the edge of the bed, wrapped up in my thoughts. Bella and Jeremy had broken up, why? and just what the hell had she been so nervous about today?

_What kind of trouble are you getting yourself into now, Bella?  
_

**A/N:So what did you guys think? I know you have tons of questions headed my way.**


	12. Chapter 9The dead never die TEASER

A/N:This is a teaser. There is also some Latin used for the spell. I did not translate it because in reality it's just stupid sentences with no meaning lol I should have a full chapter posted by the end of the week. Until then, enjoy.

Song suggestion: BrokenDoor-Angel

**B.P.O.V**

_What the hell am I doing?_

That was the pondering thought as I sat in the passenger seat of Ever's car. Once again I had taken off, alone, without telling a soul. If Ever did decide to kill me on this little journey of ours, there was no doubt that I'd end up in a ditch, somewhere deep in the woods. It would look as if I'd taken off again.

_Stupid Bella._

But I've learned that love makes you do crazy thing. Devotion makes you do crazier things. Jacob wanted my suffering and pain to come to an end. Well that is what I was doing, trying to bring it to an end. Even though I knew that I would most likely never get a fairytale ending in life, I'd see to it that Jade did. She would have both her parents at her side.

Ever was quiet, her eyes focused on the road ahead. I watched her closely, taking in her form, looking for flaws. It puzzled me that I sat there sizing her up, looking for something that proved I was more superior than she was. Ever smirked,

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," I said timidly. "Just gazing, I guess."

"It's creepy," she stated.

I rolled my eyes,"Your the one to talk. So, where are you taking me?"

"I told you already," she said annoyed.

"You were not specific. Why do we have to talk with the dead? Is that even possible?"

"Isabella, you live in a world with witches, vampires, and werewolves. Are you really asking me if speaking to the dead is impossible?"

"Your right," I admitted. "The fact that I'm sitting in a car with you right now proves that anything is , you and Jeremy, are you..."

"No," she stated coldly.

"Do you want to be?" I asked sadly. "It's alright to tell me the truth. We are broken up so you have no reason to spare my feelings."

"There is nothing going on between us. I will admit that I love him. I always have but he has a lot to forgive me for. I've never given him much of a reason to return the feelings."

I could not allow myself to sympathize. I did not think Jeremy deserved someone like her. She was cold and ruthless. Even though she loved him in her own way, Jeremy and Alba deserved much better than Ever.

"You must have done some pretty horrible things to him," I said. "Jeremy forgives very easily."

"That's easy for you to say," she retorted. "You don't even know him."

"I know him. I know the person he was when he was with me. He was kind and loving. Jeremy was everything that a woman could ever want and need."

Ever laughed harshly before gazing over at me, then shifting her attention back to the road, "Your serious. How do I break the news to you, Isabella, without you shedding tears?"

"You don't," I snapped. "Whatever happened in your past life with him is no business of mine."

"So your not the least bit interested in what led him here in the first place?"

"No, I'm not. I just want to know why we are going to speak to the dead. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Your husband is cursed," she stated. "We are going to beg mercy from the witch who cast the spell, that is if the legends are true."

"What legends?"

"My mother once told me the energy and magic inside of a witch never dies. The spirit still lingers, watching over those of who still walk the earth. The spirit hunts the territory where the witch Parrish. With the right spell we can communicate with the spirit but not without an offering, proving that we are worthy."

"An offering?"

"A dead animal."

I gasped.

"I know it's animal cruelty," she said with humor. "Don't get all activist on me. It has to be done by hand. Don't worry, I don't expect you to kill anything."

"You know the witch who cursed Jacob?"

"Her blood runs through me veins," Ever said to me. "She is my great aunt.

Many feelings fled through me in an instant. I wanted to kill her and I wanted to thank her all at the same time. But there was still an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Ever stated that she wanted blood in exchange for the curse to be broken. But whose blood did she want if it were not mine? I had a feeling that this arrangement would cost me. I was hoping that it did not cost me or anyone that I loved our life.

**Jeremy point of view**

Alba and I were out in the woods. Out of sight and out of mind. Every bone in my body was on edge as I watched my little girl close her eyes. Her breathing was leveled and her back was facing me. Practicing magic was not an easy thing to do. I just hoped that I would not regret this decisions. Still, Sam's words haunted me repeatedly. All I wanted was for Bella to be happy. But I did not want her to be happy with someone other than me. Bringing Jacob back would mean the ending of us. All he would have to do is gaze at her and Bella would be in his arms in know time, where she belonged.

My knowledge of imprinting made my decision not to help taunt me. Thanks god that I did not know what it was like to go through that but with the way the legends were told to me, I'm pretty sure it is hard to bare. The thought of Bella dealing with heartache and pain for the rest of her life brought tears to my eyes. I did not want that for her.

Refusing to help made me feel as if I was letting her down. I was being selfish. I lied to her about everything. I kept the biggest part of my life a secret from her. But I did it to protect her. For the first time in my life I was with someone who did not want anything from me. Bella loved me for me. That was all I ever wanted. When my mother disappeared I was heartbroken. I started looking for affection from any woman who wanted to give it to me. I wanted to feel wanted for all of the wrong reasons.

For years I lived an absent life. It was not me living it, but the alcohol, drugs , and magic taking my place.

Being with Bella made me feel normal for the first time. I felt as if I had a family again and I wanted to protect them.I should have known lying was not the way to do it.

Now, it was over. All I had left was my daughter and a friend hoping to corrupt me with the first sign of weakness.

"Dad," Alba said.

"Relax," I said to her. "Concentrate. Listen in on my heartbeat ok? I want you to hit me with everything that you have."

I shifted repeatedly, dodging in and out of trees surrounding her, awaiting for the impact. Suddenly, I stopped. My feet felt as if they were cemented to the ground. I tried with all of might to move but my body refused, a force so strong freezing every limb. I could hear Alba in the back ground as a shrill ring ripped through the Forrest making my inside scream from mercy.

"Alba," I screamed. "Al-"

I felt as if I would explode. My teeth clenched together as another force hit me completely, lifting me from the ground. My vision was a mix of grey fog now as I strained to see, "Sttt-op."

Alba ignored me as she continued to chant:

**Et peribit infirmus**  
**et peribit infirmus**  
**No visus**  
**solum silentio**  
**non visum**  
**solum silentio**  
**One**  
**duobus**  
**tribus**  
**quattuor**  
**spiritus mali sunt in**

"Alba," I shouted as my body collapsed to the ground. My body was tense as I stumbled to my feet in fear. When my eyes met my daughters, they were cold and a shade of black that I had never seen before, "Alba, are you alright?"

She blinked her eyes twice before a sign of fear washed over her, "What just happened?"


	13. Chapter 9 the dead never die

**A/N: Hey! So before you started reading I'd like to share that I I used Sam's p.o.v. This is O.C.C. Enjoy.**

**B.P.O.V**

**_What the hell am I doing?_**

That was the pondering thought as I sat in the passenger seat of Ever's car. Once again I had taken off, alone, without telling a soul. If Ever did decide to kill me on this little journey of ours, there was no doubt that I'd end up in a ditch, somewhere deep in the woods. It would look as if I'd taken off again.

_**Stupid Bella.**_

But I've learned that love makes you do crazy thing. Devotion makes you do crazier  
things. Jacob wanted my suffering and pain to come to an end. Well that is what I  
was doing, trying to bring it to an end. Even though I knew that I would most likely never get a fairytale ending in life, I'd see to it that Jade did. She would have both her parents at her side.

Ever was quiet, her eyes focused on the road ahead. I watched her closely, taking in her form, looking for flaws. It puzzled me that I sat there sizing her up, looking for something that proved I was more superior than she was. Ever smirked,

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," I said timidly. "Just gazing, I guess."

"It's creepy," she stated.

I rolled my eyes,"Your the one to talk. So, where are you taking me?"

"I told you already," she said annoyed.

"You were not specific. Why do we have to talk with the dead? Is that even possible?"

"Isabella, you live in a world with witches, vampires, and werewolves. Are you really asking me if speaking to the dead is impossible?"

"Your right," I admitted. "The fact that I'm sitting in a car with you right now proves that anything is , you and Jeremy, are you..."

"No," she stated coldly.

"Do you want to be?" I asked sadly. "It's alright to tell me the truth. We are broken up so you have no reason to spare my feelings."

"There is nothing going on between us. I will admit that I love him. I always have but he has a lot to forgive me for. I've never given him much of a reason to return the feelings."

I could not allow myself to sympathize. I did not think Jeremy deserved someone like her. She was cold and ruthless. Even though she loved him in her own way,

Jeremy and Alba deserved much better than Ever.

"You must have done some pretty horrible things to him," I said. "Jeremy forgives very easily."

"That's easy for you to say," she retorted. "You don't even know him."

"I know him. I know the person he was when he was with me. He was kind hearted and loving. Jeremy was everything that a woman could ever want and need."

Ever laughed harshly before gazing over at me, then shifting her attention back to the road, "Your serious. How do I break the news to you, Isabella, without you shedding tears?"

"You don't," I snapped. "Whatever happened in your past life with him is no business of mine."

"So your not the least bit interested in what led him here in the first place?"

"No, I'm not. I just want to know why we are going to speak to the dead. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Your husband is cursed," she stated. "We are going to beg mercy from the witch who cast the spell, that is if the legends are true."

"What legends?"

"My mother once told me the energy and magic inside of a witch never dies. The spirit still lingers, watching over those of who still walk the earth. The spirit hunts the territory where the witch Parrish. With the right spell we can communicate with the spirit but not without an offering, proving that we are worthy."

"An offering?"

"A dead animal."

I gasped.

"I know it's animal cruelty," she said with humor. "Don't get all activist on me.  
It has to be done by hand. Don't worry, I don't expect you to kill anything."

"You know the witch who cursed Jacob?"

"Her blood runs through me veins," Ever said to me. "She is my great aunt.

Many feelings fled through me in an instant. I wanted to kill her and I wanted to thank her all at the same time. But there was still an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Ever stated that she wanted blood in exchange for the curse to be broken. But whose blood did she want if it were not mine? I had a feeling that this arrangement would cost me. I was hoping that it did not cost me or anyone that I loved our life.  
**  
(Jeremy point of view)**

Alba and I were out in the woods. Out of sight and out of mind. Every bone in my body was on edge as I watched my little girl close her eyes. Her breathing was leveled and her back was facing me. Practicing magic was not an easy thing to do. I just hoped that I would not regret this decisions.

Still, Sam's words haunted me repeatedly. All I wanted was for Bella to be happy. But I did not want her to be happy with someone other than me. Bringing Jacob back would mean the ending of us. All he would have to do is gaze at her and Bella would be in his arms in know time, where she belonged. My knowledge of imprinting made my decision not to help taunt me. Thanks god that I did not know what it was like to go through that but with the way the legends were told to me, I'm pretty sure it is hard to bare. The thought of

Bella dealing with heartache and pain for the rest of her life brought tears to my eyes. I did not want that for her.

Refusing to help made me feel as if I was letting her down. I was being selfish. I lied to her about everything. I kept the biggest part of my life a secret from her.

But I did it to protect her. For the first time in my life I was with someone who did not want anything from me. Bella loved me for me. That was all I ever wanted.

When my mother disappeared I was heartbroken. I started looking for affection from any woman who wanted to give it to me. I wanted to feel wanted for all of the wrong reasons. For years I lived an absent life. It was not me living it, but the alcohol, drugs , and magic taking my place.

Being with Bella made me feel normal for the first time. I felt as if I had a family again and I wanted to protect them.I should have known lying was not the way to do it.

Now, it was over. All I had left was my daughter and a friend hoping to corrupt me with the first sign of weakness.

"Dad," Alba said.

"Relax," I said to her. "Concentrate. Listen in on my heartbeat ok? I want you to hit me with everything that you have."

I shifted repeatedly, dodging in and out of trees surrounding her, awaiting for the impact. Suddenly, I stopped. My feet felt as if they were cemented to the ground. I tried with all of might to move but my body refused, a force so strong freezing every limb. I could hear Alba in the back ground as a shrill ring ripped through the Forrest making my inside scream from mercy.

"Alba," I screamed. "Al-"

I felt as if I would explode. My teeth clenched together as another force hit me completely, lifting me from the ground. My vision was a mix of grey fog now as I strained to see, "Sttt-op."

Alba ignored me as she continued to chant:

Et peribit infirmus  
et peribit infirmus  
No visus  
solum silentio  
non visum  
solum silentio  
One  
duobus  
tribus  
quattuor  
spiritus mali sunt in

"Alba," I shouted as my body collapsed to the ground. My body was tense as I stumbled to my feet in fear. When my eyes met my daughters, they were cold and a shade of black that I had never seen before, "Alba, are you alright?"

She blinked her eyes twice before a sign of fear washed over her, "What just happened?"  
**  
Jacob's point of view**

Trouble has a way of finding Bella. It always have, and it always will.

For as long as I could remember she was everything normal people were not. Bella would do the opposite of what a person would ask of her. She would do the opposite of what I asked of her. Knowing that made it nearly impossible to stay with Jade the entire day. After almost four hours and no sign of Bella, I was worried and curious. I decided that it was time to make an exception. If Bella would not accept what I ask of her, and let this go, than the least I could do was watch over her.

_Maybe I'll have a little luck and be able to help like I had with Victoria._

When I reached Bella, she was walking down a deserted road that led to the woods with a blond women. I'd never seen her before and from the body language between the two of them, Bella didn't trust her.

She kept a great distance between them. It was hard to focus on what they were doing, rather than Bella. My eyes continued to roam her form that was covered in skin tight dark denim and a waist length black leather jacket. Her hair was piled high in a bun, way from her face. She was beautiful.

And a little bit crazy by the time we reached a deeper part of the woods. Bella gazed around slightly as the darkness began to cover the tree tops. She seemed startled and nervous. Her nervousness replaced its self with fear. I wanted to tell her to turn around and go back. This seemed dangerous. The silence between the two of them was what I feared the most.

"Ever," Bella said. "Maybe we should turn around."

"Relax, Isabella. We are almost there."

"I can't see much of anything. Please...let's just go back."

"We are close."

I walked beside Bella. Her heart beating erratically inside of her chest as she exhaled. I wanted to ask her what were they doing? and where were they headed? but it was not as if she could hear me. Ever pushed through the branches ahead of us and gazed over her shoulder at Bella, "We are here."

Once we were out of the woods. I gazed around. There was a huge white house. The house seemed to be abandoned for quite sometime. It was surrounded by acres of grass that stood almost as tall ad Bella. My gaze shifted to Bella as she took in her surroundings.

"Does anyone live here?" Bella asked.

"It's vacant, empty. I doubt there is any witch that want to step foot in this place."

Ever moved began to walk in the direction of the house. I reached out to grab Bella, completely forgetting that she would not feel a thing. Ever had just uttered the word witch. If she was one, I wanted Bella as far away from her as possible.

She could not be trusted. No good deeds came from them without consequence. She should have learned that from my situation.

Quickly, I rushed after them, up the porch steps, and in to the front door. Inside  
was quiet and pitch black. I began to concentrate on the footsteps. Bella's were lighter than Ever's. Ever had more confidence in her walk. Her solid boots hammered the wooden floors with force.

Bella's voice echoed off the walls, "I can't see anything. Where is the light switch?"

"When I said that this was an abandoned house, I meant it. There is no electricity.  
Stay where you are. I'm going to light a few candles. If I'm not mistaken, I left a few the last time I came here."

My nerves were all over the place when I found Bella in the dark. Her fists held tightly at her sides. After a few moments ever had a candle lit. There were four others in her free hand as well. We resided in the livingroom. It was huge along with the rest of the house. The walls were an off white and there was no furniture. Ever sat the candle down in the middle of the floor and began forming a circle with the others. Bella and I watched closely.

_What the hell are they up to?_

Once the candles formed a circle, Ever stood up right and closed her eyes, "**ignis**."

Every candle one the floor held a flame. Bella remained still but I nearly jumped out of my skin. She had did that. Ever, whoever she was, had lit the candles without a lighter or a match. Fear fled through me, but not on my behalf but Bella's.

_She is alone with a witch, far away from La push where she could be seen. Someone should be keeping an eye on her? Sure she is old enough to do what she wants but the pack know that what Bella want is not always best for her. So, where the hell are they? Why is no one watching her closely? If Bella dies tonight some one's ass is on the line._

Ever sat down inside of the circle. She removed a piece of paper from her pocket and unfolded it, placing it to the floor.

"What's that?"

"A spell," Ever said. Her cold eyes gazed over to Bella, "You may want to step inside and sit down."

Bella did as she was told. She sat on the opposite side of Ever and waited patiently. Ever crossed her legs, placed both her palms on each of her knees, and closed her eyes.

"Be still," she whispered. "Do not move under any circumstances."

"What?" Bella asked, startled. Her voice laced in fear as she gazed around. The silence was iree. Bella remained aware, taking her surroundings into consideration.

"Oh, fuck," Bella hissed.

"Don't move," Ever said quickly. "It's not going to hurt you."

"Shit, shit, shit," Bella chanted. "Do something."

"Not yet," Ever whispered. "If you startle it, it will bite you."

I watched as the snake slithered in between them. Tears were falling from Bella's eyes as she gazed down at the creature in fear. Quickly, Ever snatched the snake into her grip. She struggled for a second, attempting to hold it in her grasp.

Bella held her breath as she watched the struggle. In a matter of seconds, Ever beheaded the rattle snake with a knife that I was unaware of in the floor. Bella closed her eyes tightly and a light whimper escaped her lips.

"It's done," Ever stated. "That was the easy part."

"You don't say," Bella snapped. "You beheaded a snake."

Ever shot Bella a death glare, "It's an offering. If we are going to do this. We will do it right. Besides, I've never been a fan of snakes."

"Ok-ay," Bella rolled her eyes. "Let's get on with this."

"One more thing," Ever stated as she slid the knife in snake's blood over to Bella.

Bella held her hand over her mouth. "Cut yourself."

"No way," Bella objected.

"Do it," Ever said. "I need your blood as well."

"I can't," Bella said. "I can't do that."

"Why not?" Ever asked, annoyed.

"I just...can't," Bella murmured. "Besides it's covered in snake's blood."

"I'm aware. Do you know that the snake is considered a form of evil to my kind? It is often a sign of awful things to come. Your blood is the balance. Your pure, untainted by magic or anything supernatural, in which we consider to be dark. The snake, is a symbol of darkness. Your blood combined with it's blood will bring balance. It's a balance that we need when dealing with magic, Bella. There is more than one spirit in this house. Generations of witches have died here and not all of them were good. You may not understand it, but I need your blood on that knife. Your a part of the offering. A evil spirit wont go anywhere near such purity."

Bella sighed, "Your aunt was not evil, in spite of what she did to the Blacks?"

"My aunt, from what I can remember of her, was a pure soul. She was the one who showed my mother that we could live a life without magic. A life without magic meant a life without worries and consequences. That life sounds nice but look where it got her and my mother. I tried to do things their way, to live in freedom as they did. It never lasted long. As long as others were aware that we existed and what we could do there was no other option. I'm not good, Bella. I never will be a normal person like you."

"I've never felt normal," Bella stated. "People like you have always walked in and out of my life. I've never been free. I never wanted freedom until lately, until I met Jeremy."

"Jeremy," Ever smiled. "He has a way of making people see the world in a new light. Jeremy loves you. But you don't belong with him and he does not belong with you. Your realizing it, it's just going to take a lot to make him see that."

"What if this doesn't work?" Bella asked. "What if we don't get what we want? then what?"

"I don't know," Ever admitted honestly. "I guess we are about to find out."

I watched as Bella grabbed the knife from the floor. She placed it at her wrist and applied pressure. Watching Bella cut herself broke my heart. She was going through all of this for me. Bella removed the knife from her wrist and watched as the blood continued to pour onto it. After a few moments Ever reached for it.

"Are you ready to do this?" She asked.

"Please."

Ever placed the knife beside the candle placed in between them. She closed her eyes and relaxed.

My breath caught in my throat as I waited for what would come next.

spiritus  
Expergiscimini  
qui laborant in tenebris  
quaerere lucem prodeunt  
spiritus  
expergefactus  
qui laborant in tenebris  
recipere lucem  
egressus  
expergefactus  
expergefactus  
expergefactus

The candles blew out, every door in the house, windows included began to open and close repeatedly. Bella yelled, "What's happening?"

"Spiritus Villa expergefactus me est semper Ego munus. Dignus sum. EXSOMNIS,EXSOMNIS,EXSOMNIS."

"Ever," Bella screamed.

"Help us," Ever scream. "I beg of thee. Help us."

There was a deathly cry the admitted from ever's throat. I could see in the dark as  
if it were day. Ever was in pain. Tears stained her cheeks, her finger nails piercing the denim material of her blue jeans, and her eyes shut tightly.

"Parce nobis, quis Quaeso, Satis passi sunt blacks adiuva nos maledictione erigamus invenias lucem," Ever shouted.

"What's happening?" Bella cried.

"They've suffered enough," Ever screamed. "Help us, I beg of you."

The hammering of objects stopped. Ever was still, her eyes opened and each candle was lit again. I gazed at Bella who seemed as if she would pass out at any second. Ever was quiet. Too quiet and that iree feeling had come back to haunt us again.

"Ever," Bella spoke. "Are you alright?"

"She is fine. You come to me for help, to undo what is done."

"Ever," Bella asked.

"I'm not Ever."

**Sam's point of view**

Leah had come over to my house in full blown bitch mode. Emily could not get her to relax and the last thing we needed was for Leah to end up in the hospital. I sat at the kitchen table when Emily walked into the kitchen. She glared at me and leaned against the counter top. I sighed, shifting my weight in the chair.

"You have to tell her something," Emily whispered. "Otherwise she will be back in the hospital again."

"I don't want her to worry," I said to her.

"She will worry regardless," Emily stated. "Leah is still apart of the pack."

"She's pregnant."

"Exactly," Emily screeched. "You guys all act as if she has a handicap. It's bad enough that she can't phase in her condition. Your taking all of her rights away from her, ya know."

"Em," I began, as I stood to my feet. "I don't like keeping her in the dark about these things. But you know Leah. I don't need her doing anything brave for the next two months."

"Sam," Emily said.

"What?"

"Tell her what's going on or I will."

"Fine."

I walked passed Emily and out into the living room. Leah and her huge belly was sitting comfortably on the couch. Leah scolded me, "I know something is going on and I'm not leaving until you tell me what that is."

"It's nothing that we can't handle," I stated.

"Bullshit," she yelled at me. "I'm sick of all of you treating as if I'm helpless.  
First, Bella disappears for a month, a month without telling me because she does not want me to worry. Bella is my best friend and she treating me as if I don't exist. Then you, going to the council to talk. To talk about what? what the hell is going on around here Sam?"

"Leah, calm down," I warned her.

"Calm down," she said exasperated. "You do not tell me to calm down, dammit. Every one has been walking on eggshells around me ever since I became pregnant. What the hell is wrong with you people? This is beneath you Sam. I'd expect this from Paul, Jared, and maybe Embry. But you Sam, I never thought-"

"Jeremy is a witch," I shouted at her, interrupting her banter. "There, I said ?"

"I don't have time for this shit," Leah said, standing to her feet. "I can't believe you would go this far Sam. I understand that your a little biased. You have strong feelings about the whole imprinting thing and you know that Bella belongs to Jacob but god, he's gone. Jeremy is a nice guy."

I through my arms in the air at her words, "You know Leah, whatever. You come over here, screaming at me, begging for the truth, I tell you, and it's like talking to a damn wall. Your still the same ole Leah. You want the truth but can't handle it. Your so quick to defend what you don't know."

"Excuse me?" Leah shouted angrily. "You want to run that by me once more?"

"Sure," I retorted. "Nothing about you has changed. I thought it did but at the end of the day your still the same person Leah and quite frankly your pissing me off."

Leah laughed harshly, "Your like a clone of him, running yourself crazy for this damn pack. Keep your damn secrets to yourself because I quit."

"You can't quit," I called after her. "This is not a nine to five job."

"Oh, yes it is," Leah yelled over her shoulder as she stormed over toward the door. "From nine to five and plenty of overtime, this damn pack is on my last nerve. Take your secrets, tribe laws, and everything else, and shove it up your ass."

"Leah," I yelled after her.

The door slammed behind her. I turned to see Emily leaning against the room's archway. She shook her head.

"Please don't start it, Em."

"I knew that would happen," Emily stated.

"Let me guess, your psychic."

"Sam, keep that attitude up and you ll be cuddling up to that couch tonight."

"Ugh," I said as I ran my hands through my hair. "What does everyone want from me? I'm trying to do the right thing here."

"You are," Emily admitted. "You just have to remember to keep the peace. Just because you have stepped up and taken responsibility for the pack does not mean that you have to force your rules and regulations on them. Before any of you phased we were all just...family. What happened to that? You've taken one tragedy and made it your whole life."

Emily took a few steps closer to me and reached for my hand, "Are you ever going to be ready to deal with this Sam?"

"Deal with what?" I asked, knowingly.

"Your still human to me. We all have feelings and I don't know how you feel."

"You do," I said to her.

"No, I don't. You never talk about him, either. Honestly, your a lot worse than Bella. She found time to mourn but you still refuse to. He was your best friend since you were kids. He was your best man at our wedding. Jacob was family. I'm tried of this. I can't handle this anymore, Sam. You all act as if he never existed at all. He was here. He lived, laughed, and loved with you. You act as if you don't remember him."

"I'm trying to help him," I shouted. "I'm going to do what I can to get him back."

"How can you do that if you have not forgiven him?" Emily yelled back. "You have to forgive in order to move forward. If you would have learned how to do that than maybe you could have taught Bella how to do so long ago. You love him, not in the way that she does, but he was like a brother to you. I just...I want my husband back."

"I'm right here, Em."

I gazed into her tear filled eyes. Emily meant the world to me. I hated fighting with her. Most of all when she got like this. I leaned in to kiss her but she pulled away.

"Emily, I love you. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it. I just don't want to fight with you."

"We'll talk when I get back. I'm going to take mom out for lunch."

Emily kissed me on the cheek before grabbing her purse, keys, and disappearing through the door. I collapsed onto the couch and closed my eyes. Emily's words echoed inside of my head over and over again. For the first time, I cried. I cried for what I couldn't do. I cried for what I failed to do. I cried because for seven years I was pissed off at my best friend because I thought he had abandoned everyone in his life including me. I should have known better. I knew him better than that. He was, Jake. I treated him like a stranger. We all did.

**Flashback...**

"That's the dumbest thing that I ever heard," Jake laughed as he brushed the dirt from his pants.

We were over at Charlies, helping him put up a fence around his back yard. We never understood why Charlie wanted a fence but when he told us the pay , both Jake and I agreed. That was partially the reason. Bella was the whole reason. Jacob could keep a close eye on her, though he'd never admit that to me. She appeared in the archway, obviously trying to get Jacob's attention in a short denim skirt and extremely tight tank top. Jake caught her gaze and smiled. She waved, before heading back inside of the house.

"You and Bella?"

"Just friends," he stated.

"Just friends?"

"Since forever. I love that girl like a sister."

"A sister?"

"Yes, a sister. Can we change the subject?"

"Sure," I smirked. "So I hear she's dating now."

"Sam," Jacob shouted.

"What?"

"We are not talking about, Bella."

"Fine," I stated. "But, you've never considered..."

"Considered what?"

"What it would be like to, you know, be with, Bella?"

"Are we still talking about Bella?" Jacob asked coldly.

"No," I smiled. "I'm done. For now."

Jacob and I worked in silence for a moment. That was before I got the phone call that changed everything in my life. We rushed over to the hospital. Billy and Emily were in the emergency room when we arrived. Tears fell from my eyes consistently as Emily held on to me for dear life. My mother had a heart attack. She was the only family that I had. Every emotion fled through me as we sat in the emergency room for hours. I was afraid that I'd lose her forever. Emily finally let go of me when she had to go to the restroom. I held my face in my hands, shielding my eyes until I felt someone sit down beside me.

"She's going to make it through this," Jacob said. "Do you remember when we played baseball when we were tots? We lost our first game and your mother baked us what she called comfort cookies?"

I chuckled and wiped a few tears away, "Yeah. I remember that."

"Do you remember the advice she gave us?" he asked."I do. She told us. Nothing is as bad as it seems. Today may be a tragedy and tomorrow will be a victory. Your mother is strong, Sam. She's going to be fine."

I looked over at Jacob. His eyes were red, evident that he had been crying too,

"What if tomorrow is a tragedy too? what if this is the end?"

"Then we will face it together," he said. "Because that's what brothers do. They stick together in times of need. I'm here man, I'll always be here when you need me. Your a part of my pack but more importantly, your family."  
**  
End of flash back**

I opened my eyes and stood to my feet. I had to run. I had to do something to help distract me. The tears wouldn't stop. as I paced back and forth.

"That's what brothers do," I said allouded. "They stick together in times of need. All this time. god," I said as I sat down again.

"I should have been there. I should have know there was something else going on.  
I'm sorry and...I forgive you."

**Jeremy's point of view**

"Do you want to talk about what happened today?" I asked.

Alba nodded, "I never felt anything like it before."

"What did it feel like?"

"Like...a force that belonged to me. It felt weird."

"I know, kid. It always does."

"Dad, I understand why you forbid me to use magic," she said sadly.

"You do?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yes, I did not want to stop. Inside, I wanted to hurt you. it was uncontrollable. Whatever was taking over me wanted you lifeless. I'm afraid. One day it will take over me."

Alba climbed into her bed. I sat on the edge of it and gazed into her eyes. There was a sadness there that I had never seen before. Her eyes told me the truth. She was terrified of what she was and what she would become. I tucked the blanket around her tightly.

"You have me and I will never let you forget who you are inside. Your this little blessing that came to me when I needed it the most. Right now I see you and I can tell that you afraid. But I will always remind you of who you are, to me and to yourself. You have a light inside of you. It's pure and true. I will never let that light go out, okay."

Alba nodded. Tears formed in her eyes as she yawned, "Dad, I'm not good. I remember what happened that day, what I did."

"Alba..."

"I killed them," she cried. "It was me. That's why we are all we have because I killed them. I did that to the car. I made it go over the bridge."

"It was not your fault, sweetheart. Your mother was going to do a very bad thing. You were trying to protect us."

"I did not have to kill her."

"Alba, listen to me," I said, leaning in to cup her face in my hands gently. "That was not your fault and I never want you to blame yourself for what happened. You were afraid, we all were. I can't change what happened that day and I refuse to take away your memories. But you are a good kid. I love you. You have me. I'm right here and I'll always be here reminding you of who you are. You and me?" I asked her sadly.

Alba wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and hugged me, "You and me."

I watched Alba fall asleep peacefully. My instincts kicked into over drive as I walked into my room. I cracked. I could no longer handle being a way from Bella. I was going to give in and go to see her.

Ever had been gone all day. That was very strange. She had no friends here and Ever was not the sort of girl to hook up with any strangers. I had a feeling that she was up to no good and given the situation, and my boredom I decided to use a spell to see what she was up to.

Grabbing the spell book, I sat on the bed and flipped through it until I came to a spell that could help me figure out what the hell she was doing behind my back.


	14. Chapter 10 Teaser

**B.P.O.V**

I sat quietly across from Ever's possessed body. Looking into her eyes were like gazing into the eyes of the devil. She smiled lightly at me, "Go on, Tell me why I should reverse the spell."

I was silent for a moment. My body relaxed slightly as I held her gaze, "Villa, the people that I love are suffering. I don't know everything that happened with Ephraim but-"

"Your right. You don't know anything. You read a journal that told you what exactly?" she snapped.

"It told me about the curse, about his suffering and the suffering that would come to his family. Why did you involve them?"

She scoffed, "Your very brave to come here. But your not smart seeing as though you are here with my great niece."

" I just want the curse reversed," I pleaded. "I don't want to cause any trouble.  
Whatever happened between you and Ephraim is no business of mine."

"If you do not want any trouble, I'd suggest that you leave."

"No," I yelled. "I'm not leaving until you fix this."

"Little girl," she practically growled. "Leave now."

"No," I repeated. "And I'm not a little girl. You don't know me."

"Oh, I know you," she smirked. "I know your kind at least and believe me you should really change your ways. I don't think that you know how ugly this can get."

"I don't care. I've had the worse things happen to me already. There is nothing else I have to lose."

"Your life," she acknowledged. "You could lose that. I could take that away from you in an instant."

"Your not god," I stated, standing to my feet. "I'm not afraid of you. I just want my husband back and the curse reversed before it can harm my daugther."

"Your husband?" she asked curiously. "And where is this husband of yours?"

"I don't know. You did this," I shouted pointing at her.

"I gave Ephraim what he deserved."

"What about his family? Did they deserve this too?"

"Anyone who has his blood in their veins is as good as dead to me," she hissed.

Things went a little haywire after her statement. I snapped. All of my anger, pain, and frustration tripled and I could no longer control the urge to harm her. It was not a good idea to attack someone who could most certainly kill me, but that's Bella I guess. Bella, me, doing things that could lead to my death.

"Your a fool," she hissed.

I was stretched out on the floor, an indescribable pain plunging inside of my chest taking my breath away. Behind my eyelids was nothing but red. Of all the times that I was within arms reach of death, my life had never flashed before my eyes until then. Marrying Jacob, being pregnant with Jade, and meeting Jeremy was what made my life better. In spite of everything, I would not have changed any of that for the world. As the faces and memories circulated inside of my head, the tears fell from my eyes. If it were my time to go, I'd leave with no regrets except one, apologizing to Jade. I'd done all that I could to be a great parent to her, but it was my mistakes that paved the road ahead for her. Inside, I knew that she would never be her own person. She was going to phase one day. It was heartbreaking that Jacob or I would not be there.

"Do you feel that?" Villa hissed. "It's your blood cells going pop, pop, pop. I could speed the process up but seeing as how you came here to get awnsers from me, I can't kill you without you knowing the truth about what happened. You want to know how to reverse the curse, well here is a little secret, you don't need me to do that. I'm pretty sure Ever knew that when she brought you here. I should also tell you that little spell she just did allowed me enter her body for a while. My guess is that she want you dead. Ever can be a real bitch at times."

"I bet your thinking that I'm cruel and that I got what I deserved but your wrong. How would you like it if you were a tribe whore. Of course, I was not a real whore. After all, Ephraim was my first. No other man had ever touched me. I loved him, even after he turned his back on me. But you know, I had a huge turning point when I was dying at the hands of his little minions. You have no idea how much hate I have pent inside of me. But, I'm not ready to kill you just yet. This could fun."

**Sam's point of view**

After taking Emily's advice, I decided to finally come clean to Leah. Believe me, that was no easy task. My nerves were getting the best of me. When I arrived at her house, Leah was pacing the length of her living room, tears falling from her eyes, and her palm rubbing soothing circles over her belly. As the door closed behind me, her eyes met mine like daggers, shooting straight through me. I smiled uneasy to relieve some of the tension in the room but that did me no justice. Leah inhaled and exhaled deeply. It was then that I saw the pain on her face. As I neared her, she took a step back, "What do you want?"

Out of concern I asked, "Are you alright? Leah you look like you are in pain."

"I'm alright. I can handle this."

"Leah, let me help you."

Leah leaned on the sofa for leverage as a disturbing cry fell from her lips. I rushed to her side, embracing her, but she forced my hands away.

"Get out, Sam."

"No," I cried. "I'm going to get you to the hospital."

"No," she screeched. "No your not."

"The baby could be in trouble. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"This thing," she yelled at me, quickly glancing down at her belly. "I'm scared. I don't want to do this anymore."

"Oh, Leah. I'm here for you. Let me get you to the hospital," I pleaded with her again.

"No one is here for me," she cried. "Everyone is turning their back on me. This baby is taking everything away from me. I can't phase and help you guys, I'm always in pain. All of you keep secrets from me and don't think for a second that I don't worry if she'll turn out like us. This is not what I imagined my life to be like. I don't want to do this. Please just go."

Fed up with Leah's antics, I removed my cellphone from my pocket and dialed Bella's number. I could not reason with Leah, but maybe Bella could. Bella had been pregnant and could help nurture her through this. Impatiently, I tried Bella's phone several times, each time I got the voicemail.

**_Hello, you've reached Bella. Leave me a message and I'll call you back when I can._**

"Bella, Leah is in trouble. I can't get her to allow me to take her to the hospital. She's having stomach pain. Please, when you get this, come over as soon as you can."

I turned my attention back to Leah, who was resting uneasy at the end of the couch. Beads of sweat covered her forehead, her teeth clenched together as she continued to rub soothing circles over her stomach. She needed help, and fast.

Quickly, I dialed Emily's number. She answered on the first ring, "I just got out of the shower. Please tell me that your walking through our door."

I smiled, envisioning her beautiful smile and extremely wet body resting on our bed. Not letting myself get carried away, I sighed, " I need you to come over to Leah's. Em, she's losing it over here."

"What?" she screeched. "Tell me that she's fine, that the baby is fine, where is Rick?"

Like clock work, I heard the door knob turn. I gazed over my shoulder to see Rick entering with Alba in tow. What Alba was doing with him at this hour, I had no idea. It almost slipped my mind that he was friends with Jeremy in the first place. The sudden reminder of Jeremy brought my anger to the far front and it also made me wonder what role did Rick play in all of this? Did he know what Jeremy was and kept it to himself?

"Sam?" Emily, repeated bringing me back to reality.

"Em, just get over here please," I said, closing my phone shut.

"Lee, baby, what's wrong?" he asked. Rick was kneeled down in front of her, his eyes full of tears as she ignored him. Leah was stubborn like that. I walked over to where they were and placed a hand on Rick's shoulder. He met my gaze, fear and tears drowning in his eyes, "I don't know what to do," he cried.

"Rick, we need to get her to the hospital."

"I'm not going," Leah shouted at both of us.

"Yes you are," I hissed. "Right now, Leah. I promise once we have a doctor check you out that I will tell you everything. Every fucking detail. Just please..."

The tears continued to pour from her eyes as she shook her head no, "I'm scared."

"Of what?" Rick asked, taking her face into his hands gently. "Baby, I'm here every step of the way. Our baby will be fine. You will be fine. Just let us get you to the hospital."

The door opened and closed again. In an instant, Emily was beside Leah. Her eyes full of fear but she was strong enough to hold off the tears, "Leah, honey what are you doing?"

"The right thing, Em," she said through clenched teeth. "Aleah, doesn't deserve any of this. I can't bring her into any of this. Can you understand that?"

I was losing my damn mind. If I had not known Leah, I'd think she was a nut case. But I did know her. I knew her well. She was an extremest and stubborn. I began to pace back and forth, racking my hands through the hair on head, nearly pulling it out. I had faith though, in Emily. If anyone could get through to Leah it would be Emily and Bella. Where the hell was Bella? Leah needed her. She had promised to be there with her throughout her pregnancy. Bella had not been there for her at all. I was afraid for baby Aleah. I had been so excited when Leah announced that she was having a girl. The possibility of having two female wolves added to the pack was greatly anticipated.

Aleah would be a wild card. I had no idea if she would carry the gene. But there was no doubt in my mind that Jade carried it.

"Aleah, should be born into this world. You would not be pregnant other wise. You have a very healthy baby inside of you. Think of what this will do to Rick? Think of yourself, Leah. You have carried that baby for seven months. For seven months you've prepared yourself for the joy of motherhood. Remember when I came over a few months ago and we painted the spare room for Aleah. Do you remember how good that felt? Or what about the time you felt her kick? You called me at three a.m., tears of happiness in your voice as you explained to me how great that felt. Sure, I was tired and a little upset that you chose three a.m. to tell me that but that didn't matter because I love you. All that you are going through shouldn't matter because think of why you are going through this Leah. Your doing this for Aleah because you love her," Emily said sincerely.

I could hear the sadness in her voice. A part of me felt guilty because I had been so busy trying to help everyone else maintain their lives I'd forgotten what my wife wanted out of life. I wanted to give her children, three to be exact. But I also wanted to do that the right way, without everyone''s problems stressing me out..

"But-"

"No but's," Emily said sternly. "I know your afraid. Giving birth can be a terrifying thing, so I've heard and witnessed with Bella. But it's also beautiful.  
Think of hearing your baby cries for the first time. Think of how good that will feel. Baby Aleah is meant to be here with us," Emily said as tears stained her cheeks. "Don't take her away from us, please."

Leah nodded. A wave of relief fled through me, "Oh thank god. Rick, you go with Emily to take Leah to the hospital. I'll stay with Alba until I can get a hold of Bella."

"Alright man."

Rick helped Leah into her jacket and out of the door. I embraced Emily, wiping the few stray tears from her cheeks before she kissed me sweetly on the lips. I pulled away slightly, pressing my forehead to hers, "Thank you. I'm so lucky to spend the rest of my life with you."

She smiled, her sweet smile at me, "I love you too. I'll call when we get word of what's wrong."

"Alright."

Emily rushed out of the door and quickly shut it behind her. I turned to see Alba standing near the couch, her eyes full of fear as I approached her. Her thick hair framed her face as gazed into my eyes.

"Hi," I said to her. "I'm sorry about all of that."

She nodded, "Are you gonna hurt me, Sam?"

I gazed her in confusion, "Why would I hurt you?"

"You don't like daddy too much," she stated.

"Did he tell you that?" I asked. "Your dad and I are have trouble communicating properly. But that has nothing to do with you. I'd never harm you or any other child."

Our conversation was cut short by my cellphone. It was a call coming through from Charlie's house. Finally Bella was returning my phone calls. I answered it quickly,

"Bella, when are you leaving Charlie's? I tried your cellphone several times. Is it dead?"

"So have I," Charlie said. "Sam, I'm worried. I've had Jade since this morning.  
Bella said that she had something to take care of with you but I haven't heard from her since then. Jade is getting restless and asking for her. Where is she?"

"I don't know," I yelled in slight panic. "Charlie, I haven't seen Bella at all today. She lied to you. I'm going to find her. In the mean time stay by the phone."

"Will do."

"Fuck," I shouted as I closed my phone.

**Jeremy's point of view**

I could kill her. I should kill her. I will kill her if anything happens to Bella. My patience was wearing thin as I sped down the highway in pursue of the woman that I love. I could have crashed and burned at the end of this road and it all would be worth it. I was worried about my timing. I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to Bella because of Ever's ignorance. What the hell they were doing together, I had no idea. But if Ever was thinking of reversing that spell, she had another thing coming. I'd never let her do that.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	15. Chapter 10 Who want to die next?

**A/N: Hey guys. Just a quick thank you to everyone who continues to bare with me on this journey. I never write long author's notes because I know how excited you are to read the chapter. So here it is. Once again, I do not own Twilight or it's characters. The story plot is one hundred percent original. All minor and lead characters that are not publicly recognized were created by me. Foul language and a minor lemon is up ahead. You have been warned.**

**B.P.O.V**

I sat quietly across from Ever's possessed body. Looking into her eyes were like gazing into the eyes of the devil. She smiled lightly at me, "Go on, Tell me why I should reverse the spell."

I was silent for a moment. My body relaxed slightly as I held her gaze, "Villa, the people that I love are suffering. I don't know everything that happened with Ephraim but-"

"Your right. You don't know anything. You read a journal that told you what exactly?" she snapped.

"It told me about the curse, about his suffering and the suffering that would come to his family. Why did you involve them?"

She scoffed, "Your very brave to come here. But your not smart seeing as though you are here with my great niece."

" I just want the curse reversed," I pleaded. "I don't want to cause any trouble.  
Whatever happened between you and Ephraim is no business of mine."

"If you do not want any trouble, I'd suggest that you leave."

"No," I yelled. "I'm not leaving until you fix this."

"Little girl," she practically growled. "Leave now."

"No," I repeated. "And I'm not a little girl. You don't know me."

"Oh, I know you," she smirked. "I know your kind at least and believe me you should really change your ways. I don't think that you know how ugly this can get."

"I don't care. I've had the worse things happen to me already. There is nothing else I have to lose."

"Your life," she acknowledged. "You could lose that. I could take that away from you in an instant."

"Your not god," I stated, standing to my feet. "I'm not afraid of you. I just want my husband back and the curse reversed before it can harm my daugther."

"Your husband?" she asked curiously. "And where is this husband of yours?"

"I don't know. You did this," I shouted pointing at her.

"I gave Ephraim what he deserved."

"What about his family? Did they deserve this too?"

"Anyone who has his blood in their veins is as good as dead to me," she hissed.

Things went a little haywire after her statement. I snapped. All of my anger, pain, and frustration tripled and I could no longer control the urge to harm her. It was not a good idea to attack someone who could most certainly kill me, but that's Bella I guess. Bella, me, doing things that could lead to my death.

"Your a fool," she hissed.

I was stretched out on the floor, an indescribable pain plunging inside of my chest taking my breath away. Behind my eyelids was nothing but red. Of all the times that I was within arms reach of death, my life had never flashed before my eyes until then. Marrying Jacob, being pregnant with Jade, and meeting Jeremy was what made my life better. In spite of everything, I would not have changed any of that for the world. As the faces and memories circulated inside of my head, the tears fell from my eyes. If it were my time to go, I'd leave with no regrets except one, apologizing to Jade. I'd done all that I could to be a great parent to her, but it was my mistakes that paved the road ahead for her. Inside, I knew that she would never be her own person. She was going to phase one day. It was heartbreaking that Jacob or I would not be there.

"Do you feel that?" Villa hissed. "It's your blood cells going pop, pop, pop. I could speed the process up but seeing as how you came here to get awnsers from me, I can't kill you without you knowing the truth about what happened. You want to know how to reverse the curse, well here is a little secret, you don't need me to do that. I'm pretty sure Ever knew that when she brought you here. I should also tell you that little spell she just did allowed me enter her body for a while. My guess is that she want you dead. Ever can be a real bitch at times."

"I bet your thinking that I'm cruel and that I got what I deserved but your wrong. How would you like it if you were a tribe whore. Of course, I was not a real whore. After all, Ephraim was my first. No other man had ever touched me. I loved him, even after he turned his back on me. But you know, I had a huge turning point when I was dying at the hands of his little minions. You have no idea how much hate I have pent inside of me. But, I'm not ready to kill you just yet. This could fun."

**Sam's point of view**

After taking Emily's advice, I decided to finally come clean to Leah. Believe me, that was no easy task. My nerves were getting the best of me. When I arrived at her house, Leah was pacing the length of her living room, tears falling from her eyes, and her palm rubbing soothing circles over her belly. As the door closed behind me, her eyes met mine like daggers, shooting straight through me. I smiled uneasy to relieve some of the tension in the room but that did me no justice. Leah inhaled and exhaled deeply. It was then that I saw the pain on her face. As I neared her, she took a step back, "What do you want?"

Out of concern I asked, "Are you alright? Leah you look like you are in pain."

"I'm alright. I can handle this."

"Leah, let me help you."

Leah leaned on the sofa for leverage as a disturbing cry fell from her lips. I rushed to her side, embracing her, but she forced my hands away.

"Get out, Sam."

"No," I cried. "I'm going to get you to the hospital."

"No," she screeched. "No your not."

"The baby could be in trouble. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"This thing," she yelled at me, quickly glancing down at her belly. "I'm scared. I don't want to do this anymore."

"Oh, Leah. I'm here for you. Let me get you to the hospital," I pleaded with her again.

"No one is here for me," she cried. "Everyone is turning their back on me. This baby is taking everything away from me. I can't phase and help you guys, I'm always in pain. All of you keep secrets from me and don't think for a second that I don't worry if she'll turn out like us. This is not what I imagined my life to be like. I don't want to do this. Please just go."

Fed up with Leah's antics, I removed my cellphone from my pocket and dialed Bella's number. I could not reason with Leah, but maybe Bella could. Bella had been pregnant and could help nurture her through this. Impatiently, I tried Bella's phone several times, each time I got the voicemail.

Hello, you've reached Bella. Leave me a message and I'll call you back when I can.

"Bella, Leah is in trouble. I can't get her to allow me to take her to the hospital. She's having stomach pain. Please, when you get this, come over as soon as you can."

I turned my attention back to Leah, who was resting uneasy at the end of the couch. Beads of sweat covered her forehead, her teeth clenched together as she continued to rub soothing circles over her stomach. She needed help, and fast.

Quickly, I dialed Emily's number. She answered on the first ring, "I just got out of the shower. Please tell me that your walking through our door."

I smiled, envisioning her beautiful smile and extremely wet body resting on our bed. Not letting myself get carried away, I sighed, " I need you to come over to Leah's. Em, she's losing it over here."

"What?" she screeched. "Tell me that she's fine, that the baby is fine, where is Rick?"

Like clock work, I heard the door knob turn. I gazed over my shoulder to see Rick entering with Alba in tow. What Alba was doing with him at this hour, I had no idea. It almost slipped my mind that he was friends with Jeremy in the first place. The sudden reminder of Jeremy brought my anger to the far front and it also made me wonder what role did Rick play in all of this? Did he know what Jeremy was and kept it to himself?

"Sam?" Emily, repeated bringing me back to reality.

"Em, just get over here please," I said, closing my phone shut.

"Lee, baby, what's wrong?" he asked. Rick was kneeled down in front of her, his eyes full of tears as she ignored him. Leah was stubborn like that. I walked over to where they were and placed a hand on Rick's shoulder. He met my gaze, fear and tears drowning in his eyes, "I don't know what to do," he cried.

"Rick, we need to get her to the hospital."

"I'm not going," Leah shouted at both of us.

"Yes you are," I hissed. "Right now, Leah. I promise once we have a doctor check you out that I will tell you everything. Every fucking detail. Just please..."

The tears continued to pour from her eyes as she shook her head no, "I'm scared."

"Of what?" Rick asked, taking her face into his hands gently. "Baby, I'm here every step of the way. Our baby will be fine. You will be fine. Just let us get you to the hospital."

The door opened and closed again. In an instant, Emily was beside Leah. Her eyes full of fear but she was strong enough to hold off the tears, "Leah, honey what are you doing?"

"The right thing, Em," she said through clenched teeth. "Aleah, doesn't deserve any of this. I can't bring her into any of this. Can you understand that?"

I was losing my damn mind. If I had not known Leah, I'd think she was a nut case. But I did know her. I knew her well. She was an extremest and stubborn. I began to pace back and forth, racking my hands through the hair on head, nearly pulling it out. I had faith though, in Emily. If anyone could get through to Leah it would be Emily and Bella. Where the hell was Bella? Leah needed her. She had promised to be there with her throughout her pregnancy. Bella had not been there for her at all. I was afraid for baby Aleah. I had been so excited when Leah announced that she was having a girl. The possibility of having two female wolves added to the pack was greatly anticipated.

Aleah would be a wild card. I had no idea if she would carry the gene. But there was no doubt in my mind that Jade carried it.

"Aleah, should be born into this world. You would not be pregnant other wise. You have a very healthy baby inside of you. Think of what this will do to Rick? Think of yourself, Leah. You have carried that baby for seven months. For seven months you've prepared yourself for the joy of motherhood. Remember when I came over a few months ago and we painted the spare room for Aleah. Do you remember how good that felt? Or what about the time you felt her kick? You called me at three a.m., tears of happiness in your voice as you explained to me how great that felt. Sure, I was tired and a little upset that you chose three a.m. to tell me that but that didn't matter because I love you. All that you are going through shouldn't matter because think of why you are going through this Leah. Your doing this for Aleah because you love her," Emily said sincerely.

I could hear the sadness in her voice. A part of me felt guilty because I had been so busy trying to help everyone else maintain their lives I'd forgotten what my wife wanted out of life. I wanted to give her children, three to be exact. But I also wanted to do that the right way, without everyone''s problems stressing me out..

"But-"

"No but's," Emily said sternly. "I know your afraid. Giving birth can be a terrifying thing, so I've heard and witnessed with Bella. But it's also beautiful.  
Think of hearing your baby cries for the first time. Think of how good that will feel. Baby Aleah is meant to be here with us," Emily said as tears stained her cheeks. "Don't take her away from us, please."

Leah nodded. A wave of relief fled through me, "Oh thank god. Rick, you go with Emily to take Leah to the hospital. I'll stay with Alba until I can get a hold of Bella."

"Alright man."

Rick helped Leah into her jacket and out of the door. I embraced Emily, wiping the few stray tears from her cheeks before she kissed me sweetly on the lips. I pulled away slightly, pressing my forehead to hers, "Thank you. I'm so lucky to spend the rest of my life with you."

She smiled, her sweet smile at me, "I love you too. I'll call when we get word of what's wrong."

"Alright."

Emily rushed out of the door and quickly shut it behind her. I turned to see Alba standing near the couch, her eyes full of fear as I approached her. Her thick hair framed her face as gazed into my eyes.

"Hi," I said to her. "I'm sorry about all of that."

She nodded, "Are you gonna hurt me, Sam?"

I gazed her in confusion, "Why would I hurt you?"

"You don't like daddy too much," she stated.

"Did he tell you that?" I asked. "Your dad and I are have trouble communicating properly. But that has nothing to do with you. I'd never harm you or any other child."

Our conversation was cut short by my cellphone. It was a call coming through from Charlie's house. Finally Bella was returning my phone calls. I answered it quickly,

"Bella, when are you leaving Charlie's? I tried your cellphone several times. Is it dead?"

"So have I," Charlie said. "Sam, I'm worried. I've had Jade since this morning.  
Bella said that she had something to take care of with you but I haven't heard from her since then. Jade is getting restless and asking for her. Where is she?"

"I don't know," I yelled in slight panic. "Charlie, I haven't seen Bella at all today. She lied to you. I'm going to find her. In the mean time stay by the phone."

"Will do."

"Fuck," I shouted as I closed my phone.

**Jeremy's point of view**

I could kill her. I should kill her. I will kill her if anything happens to Bella. My patience was wearing thin as I sped down the highway in pursue of the woman that I love. I could have crashed and burned at the end of this road and it all would be worth it. I was worried about my timing. I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to Bella because of Ever's ignorance. What the hell they were doing together, I had no idea. But if Ever was thinking of reversing that spell, she had another thing coming. I'd never let her do that.

**B.P.O.V**

I sat quietly, alone and afraid, wondering what would happen next. Not knowing was the worst part of it all. Over the past hour I learned a few things about Villa. One, she was not the loving and caring person Ever claimed her to be. Two, she loved inflicting pain upon others. Three, she was right. What happened between her and Ephraim was deeper than any of us could imagine. So I sat hopelessly, hoping that whatever spell Ever had cast would wear off soon.

"So, Bella," she began. "You haven't told me anything about you at all other than your married."

"I plan to skip the small talk," I said through clenched teeth.

"But the small talk is the best part about getting to know someone," she smiled wickedly. "I'm just having a little fun with you. You should really relax. I'm not going to kill you, yet."

I watched as Villa paced around the dim lit room. She twirled long strains of Ever's blonde hair around her index finger and sighed, "God, I've really missed this. Being alive that is. Just the texture of fabric on my skin and air in my lungs, ugh. It really does something to me."

I gazed around the room at the dim candles that were slowly burning out.

Villa noticed where my attention was and chuckled, "Candles are burning out pretty fast. I'd hate to see what happens when they are completely out. My niece she comes here a lot and talk to me. Seems as if your standing in her way."

"That's funny," I said sarcastically. "And here I thought Ever and I were on the road headed toward an happy friendship."

Villa shot me a death glare, "I have a theory," she said as she walked closer to where I was restrained. "If you apply the right amount of pressure to the temples, you'd get the worse headache. It feels as if your brain is about to explode."

There was a numbing pain that caught me off guard. My eyes shut instinctively as my teeth clenched together tightly. Her theory was right. I felt as if my brain was exploding. The pain was excruciating. It was worse than what she had done previously to me.

"Please," I whimpered. "God...make it stop."

"God doesn't step a foot in this house," she said. "But, I could relay a message if you like. Are you ready to tell me something about yourself?"

I nodded my head yes. The pain disappeared as quickly as it came. The tears that I held back released themselves once my eyes were open.

"She cries," Villa said excitedly, clapping her hands together. "Finally, I sense an emotion that I can relate to."

Villa walked over to me and wiped the stray tears from my eyes. She rubbed her index finger and thumb together, enjoying the moistness of my tears. She was mad. I'd come to that conclusion within minutes of my encounter with her. Villa had no clue of right and wrong.

Something dark had succumbed her. The torment and pain that she was inflicting upon me was fun in her eyes. I tried to move my hands again but it was a moot point. The rope she had bind them together with was seeping into my skin. I could feel the sting of air in every movement of my wrists.

"Now, your husband is in Ephraim's blood line. Is he a shifter too?" she asked.

"Yes," I responded. "Alpha."

" So what kind of suffering is he enduring? I ask many questions. I've been dead and trap inside these walls for quite sometime. I haven't had much time to check up on my victims."

"He's gone," I replied sadly.

"When you say gone, do you mean dead?" she asked.

"I don't know what I mean exactly. He is sort of invisible."

"A ha," she said aloud. "The curse worked better than I thought."

"Ephraim is dead. If you reverse the curse it would not change that. It's not fair to make others suffer for things that they had nothing to do with."

"That is true," she stated. "Very true, in fact and if I cared for a second about being right or wrong I probably would reverse the curse. But you know Bella, I really don't care. I bet Ephraim is turning in his grave as we speak, just knowing all of the heartache and misery that I am causing his family. It's the same heartache and misery that he caused me. There was a time where I was a good woman. The perfect woman to be exact. But men don't want perfect women. They want weak, pathetic women who they can control. That is the type of women that men marry. Women like me, strong and powerful, the led us on to believe a lie, they have their way with us and then when their done and their mark is left on our hearts they kick us out on our ass and don't think twice about it."

"That's a lie," I said.

Villa gazed at me in humor and placed her hands on her hips, "Oh really, let's take you for instance, Bella. Here you are, fighting a battle that you will never win because you feel it is your duty to the man that you love. Your weak. Your sacrificing your life."

"I'm doing it for love," I said.

She laughed tauntingly and resumed her pacing, "I'm convinced that love does not exist."

"No, your not. How did you feel when Ephraim told you about the imprint?" I asked."How did that make you feel inside?"

"Imprinting isn't real," she hissed.

"It is. I've been dying inside and losing my mind because Jacob is gone. That is what imprinting does to you, Villa. It's a love that scares the shit out of you, it controls your life, causes all of these emotions to rise inside of you, and when the one person that holds your heart in their hand is out of sight, all is lost. I've dealt with that feeling for eight years and I don't know if I will last another. Maybe I am weak. But I'm only weak because half of me is missing. So you can sit here and put me through hell and back with your torture but don't you dare say that imprinting is not real. What I went through and continue to go through is very fucking real to me."

Villa paused. Her attention flickered between me and the door. She placed a finger to her lips, "Make one sound and I'll snap your neck without hesitating."

The candles suddenly went out. Fear swept through me as I gazed around frantically in the dark, hoping that this was not the end for me. I kept my lips pressed firmly against one another as the tears fell from my eyes. I could not longer see or hear anything. There was nothing but me and my fear left alone in the dark.

There was a loud pounding against the door that startled me. I was afraid of what was waiting of the opposite side. A part of me wanted to cry out for help. But Villa would kill me for sure.

"Bella," the voice shouted. "Ever, I know your in there. Open up."

It was Jeremy. Although I had been avoiding him for a while, I had never been more happy to hear his voice in my life. I was about to scream when I felt a hand on my shoulder, silencing my voice before it could emerge.

"I mean it," Villa whispered. "Make a sound and your as good a dead."

"You have five seconds to open this door,"Jeremy shouted. "Five."

"Four," Villa whispered.

"four, three, two," Jeremy shouted.

"One."

I closed my eyes tightly as the pounding grew harder. There was no doubt that the door would fall apart at any second. My only fear was of what would happen once he was inside.

**Jacob's point of view**

Why couldn't she just let go of me?

This was exactly the sort of thing I wanted to prevent. I watched helplessly as Bella cried out in pain. The sound of her screams made my inside quiver. Every limb inside of me felt as if it were on fire. I felt every possible emotion inside of me all at once. There was anger, pain, sorrow, and so much more. I watched on a Bella continued to be my Bella. She may have been terrified, but her defense mechanism kicked in overtime. That was what scared me the most. Every reply that left her mouth was snappy and sarcastic. The more she continued, the more pain she suffered.

Nothing was working. I mean nothing. I tried everything I possibly could to protect her but I continued to come up empty handed. Restless and worked up, I paced back and forth, pulling at the strains of hair on top of her head, with my jaw clenched. I didn't want to watch what was happening. But it would kill me to leave. Th tears formed in my eyes as Bella let out another disturbing scream and slight whimper. I pressed my back up against the wall and slid down to the floor. My face buried in my hands as the tears fell from my eyes.

The way that I picture our lives was not this. This would not have been our life together. I always imagined us growing old together, sitting on a porch in La push surrounded by our children and grandchildren. Bella would still be my Bella regardless of her aging. We would have lived a happy life, both Bella and I. It would have been a life with not a single regret. A life where we accepted our mistakes. It would have been a life where we would still look each other the same. Bella and I would never have that happy ending. I'd never see her that way.

Reality began to sink in. I would be forced to watch my wife, my Bella die tonight. My heart felt as if it would explode inside of my chest. I wanted to hold her, to tell her that I was here with her, that two hearts would turn to stone tonight. Bella needed to know that if she died tonight, she died loved. I was not dead completely, but I would be once her heart stopped beating.

Suddenly, there was a loud hammering against the door. I looked up from my hands and noticed the candles were completely out. Bella's heart was beating rapidly, with Villa standing protectively in front of her. Bella was biting on her bottom lip so hard I was sure she had drew blood. Her attention was on the loud hammering.

"Bella," A voice called. "Ever, I know your in there. Open up."

Out of fear, Bella said nothing.

"You have five seconds to open this door," The voice yelled. "Five."

"Four," Villa whispered.

"Four, three, two," He counted down.

"One," Villa whispered.

"One."

Everything grew quite. So quiet that it made me want to scream. Bella gazed around frantically. Villa held her stance, she was in attack mode. I stood to my feet quickly. Fear fled through my when the door pummeled to the floor. Everything was blur after that. It was blur of screams, curse words, and blows to the head. Villa was the first to attack. Her fist collided with Jeremy's head. The impact was so hard that it sent him flying into the wall beside him.

"Ever," she yelled angrily as he picked himself up off the floor. "What the-"

Villa took another shot at him but he moved out of the way quickly.

"That's not Ever," Bella cried. "Jeremy, damn it I can't see anything."

I watched in terror as Villa lift Jeremy's limp body from the floor, one hand wrapped around his neck.

"You don't have to do this," Jeremy managed to say.

Villa smiled, her muscles contracted as she applied more pressure, "I'm going to teach you a thing or two about respect. You want to be a hero," she smirked."You'll die a noble man. Noble men always die."

"Don't hurt him," Bella cried out. "Please. Don't hurt him."

Villa grew still. Too still, giving Jeremy enough time to remove himself from her grasp. With one final blow to the head he gazed down at her, "Jeremy. Wait," she cried. "I'm not here anymore."

He placed his thick boot at her neck, holding her tiny frame to the floor, "I know who you are."

"Jeremy, your hurting me," she cried.

"I should kill you," he hissed.

Something changed in his eyes at that moment. They were so red, I could see the fire in them, the fury. It was something dark. Villa had vanished. That much I was certain. Whatever spell Ever had cast had wore off and she returned just in time.

"Your weak right now, Ever. Magic does that to you when you use to much at one time. I should kill you," He repeated. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't?"

"Because I did this for you," she cried. "Jeremy please.."

"You nearly killed Bella for me. If you think that is what the fuck I wanted you are sadly mistaken."

"She's a problem," Ever coughed up.

"Your a selfish bitch. You and I are done. I want you out of my house. You mean nothing to me."

Jeremy removed his boot from her neck. I watched as Ever stumbled to her feet,

"Your a fool. You'll see that soon enough," she hissed.

Every candle in the room was lit again. Jeremy rushed over to Bella and untied the rope from her wrists. Bella threw herself into his arms, holding onto him for dear life.

He shushed her, "It's alright. I got you."

Jeremy cradled her in his arms and carried her out of the house. I followed them out just to be sure that Bella was alright.

Ever scuffled over to the door, "This is far from over, Jeremy. I don't need you to undo the curse. Here is a fucking news flash for you. I know you. This little act your putting on is bullshit. You and I had a plan and it's still in effect whether I have your alliance or not. You will be mine and there is not a damn thing you can do to stop it."

Jeremy ignored her and disappeared with Bella through the trees.

**B.P.O.V**

I sat quietly inside of my living room. My mind was racing beyond what I thought was possible. I couldn't't think straight. I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to either. The thought that I almost died again tonight ate away at my heart. My body was still in a huge amount of pain. I inhaled, closing my eyes, and relaxing on the couch.

The sound on the door opening and closing caused me to shift and gaze over my shoulder. I was relieved to see Jeremy. He walked over to where I was seated, "I called Charlie. He said that he will deal with you at a convenient hour. Sam did not sound to pleased to hear from me but I assured him that you were fine. He'll be over in the morning to check on you."

"Thanks," I said meekly.

"Bella," he began. "What possessed you to trust Ever?"

"I never trusted her," I said. "I just...I needed-"

"Needed what?" He asked incredulously.

"I needed to make things right for my family. Really, I had no choice. It was the right call."

"Right call, huh?" he said. "Do you have any idea as to how close you came to dying because of your ridiculous kamikaze mission?"

"I guess I didn't care, Jeremy. I usually don't care when it come to the people that I love. I don't think twice about any action that I have to take when it come to my family."

"Bella...I just. I almost lost it alright. If I didn't reach you in time I would have lost it," Jeremy sighed, "I know that this does not change anything between us  
but-"

"It does," I said as I gazed into his eyes. "Jeremy, we almost died tonight. I had no idea if we'd make it but I kept thinking of how I regret not telling you the truth."

"Which is?"

"I did not push you away because I don't love you. I pushed you away because I do. I'm always doing to want Jacob. No matter what I say or what I do, I'm always going to want him."

"I know," he replied sadly.

I stood to my feet and closed the distance between us, "Jeremy, I love you alot. Some thing's just are not meant to be."

"But what if we are meant to be?" he asked. "What does you heart tell you right now?"

"I don't know," I replied.

I really head no idea. My heart was not saying much. My heart was still in shock after everything that happened. As I gazed into Jeremy's eyes, I got lost. Lost in the moment of all that we were and all that I once hoped we could be. His attention shifted from my eyes, down to my lips. I wanted him to kiss me. But not because I was madly in love with him or because there was still hope for us, but because I wanted to forget everything and everyone for a moment.

He leaned in, taking my lips into his. I allowed it. My body did not fight against it as our bodies moved against each other. Closing my eyes, I allowed my body to give into something that I fought like hell against.

Gravity took a hold of us and before I knew it my body was pressed in between my soft bed Jeremy's smooth but firm chiseled body. His lips trailed from mine, down to the crook of my neck and further. My back arched as I gripped the cool sheets in my hands. I kept my eyes closed for numerous reasons. I knew that if I opened them reality would set in again. This moment was my escape.

My moans and whimpers filled the air as Jeremy's attack on my body grew stronger. His strokes were slow and deep as if he was trying to reach something deep inside of me. It was something that I knew could never be reached. My grip on him grew tighter, my thrusts meeting his with the same intensity. Something inside of me longed for him to reach that place deep inside of me that only Jacob had been able to reach. If he could then I'd have a reason to let go of him. But as I grew higher, my climax with in seconds of riping through my body he was still unsuccessful. My heart was still not completely fulfilled, my body and mind completely worn out.

Jeremy's lips captured mine in a very deep and passionate kiss. He pulled away slightly. His cool breath still upon my lips as he whispered, "Open your eyes."

Unable to say no, I did. I opened my eyes and met his gaze as he continued to thrust in and out of me. Although, his eyes shown his love for me I was unsure if mine mirrored the same. I did love him. I loved him far more than I imagined I could.

"Mmm," I whimpered. I tried my best to stay quiet. I didn't want to say anything that I didn't mean in the heat of the moment. But that was hard to do. My orgasm washed over me quickly. I closed my eyes, losing myself again. That was what I wanted. That was what I needed. To lose all sense of what was going on and what I wanted for as long as possible.

#

I woke up cradled in Jeremy's arms. It didn't feel out of the ordinary. I actually felt good for the moment. After putting on an oversize tee shirt, I made my way down stair to make some tea. I was in an okay mood, that was before I found Sam and Paul sitting in my living room. A part of me was thankful that Jeremy was still sleep. The last thing that I wanted was a brawl inside of my living room. Gazing into their eyes was worse than having to explain everything to Charlie. Rebecca walked into the room dressed in dress pants and a buttoned down shirt. She handed both Sam and Paul a cup of coffee.

Self consciously, I ran a hand through my hair and gazed down at my half naked body.

"Thanks," Paul said to Rebecca.

"No problem," she smiled. "I figured you guys could use a little caffeine."

"Well, look who had decided to grace us with her presence," Sam said sarcastically.

"How was your night?" Paul asked. "Sleeping with the enemy again, I see."

"Excuse me? what I do, with whom I do it with is none of your business," I snapped at him.

"It is our business when we are trying to get Jacob back and your out sneaking around with the person responsible for this, Bella," Paul yelled.

"First, I haven't been sneaking around with Jeremy. Even if I were that's none of your business. Where do you get off placing the blame on Jeremy in the first place. He's not responsible for this."

"Oh, it is our business," Sam said. "And Jeremy play a huge part in all of this, Bella."

Rebecca interrupted, "Don't you guys think your being a little harsh on Bella. Your jumping to conclusions. If you would just let her-"

"Let her what?" Paul hissed. "Let her make Jacob look like an idiot when we finally do get him back. I don't think he'd be to pleased to know she's spreading her legs for someone else."

I chuckled harshly. After all the shit I had been through last night this was what I had to awaken to. Sam and Paul speaking of shit that they knew nothing about. Of course they expected the worse of me. They thought my disappearing act was just me sneaking off to be with Jeremy.

"While your running around with him, Leah was trying to harm her baby. I called you numerous times Bella. What the hell is wrong with you? Do you have any idea what kind of danger you are exposing your daughter and yourself to?" Sam said angrily as he stood to his feet.

I took a step closer to him, "Is Leah alright?"

"Like you care," Paul cut in.

Rebecca stepped in between Sam and I, "Everyone need to calm down."

"Leah is fine," Sam said coldly. "But she could have used her best friend last night."

"I'm sick of your smart ass comments," I said as I shifted my gaze to Paul.

"I'm just sick of you, period. Every fucking day of my life is about Bella. If you weren't around to do stupid shit I'd be able to actually live my life."

I chuckled harshly, "Since were being honest here, just so you know, I don't fucking need you protecting me. For your information, I was not sneaking around with Jeremy yesterday. I went with his friend Ever to talk to a witch's spirit. That spirit happened to be the one who cast the spell on Jacob's family and her great aunt. Instead of sleeping around like you thought I was, I was getting my ass kicked."

"What?" Sam shrieked. "Bella, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I was ordered not to tell anyone. You have no fucking idea what I through yesterday in order to try and make this right for all of us, to get Jacob back. If it were not for Jeremy I'd probably be dead right now."

"Bella," he said sincerely. "If it were not for Jeremy none of us would be in this mess right now. Can't you see-"

"Don't," I placed my hand to halt his movements. "I don't feel like talking about this now. I just think that both of you should leave. I'll come over later to talk. He saved my life last night. I owe him the conversation that I should have given him weeks ago."

"Bella," Sam said once more.

"Just go, please. I promise that I will come over later."

I watched as Sam and Paul left quietly. For the first time they went peacefully. I would explain everything to them but first I had to deal with Jeremy first. I still had un answered questions and so did he.

"That was very rude of them," Rebecca stated.

I had almost forgotten that she was present in the room with me. I nodded and bit my lip.

"I don't question any of the choices that you make. I just hope that you evaluate everything that you do, Bella. I don't know what I would have done if you did not make it out of there alive. I am grateful to Jeremy for defending you. But knowing what I know now, I'm not sure if I'll ever accept him fully to be a part of your life or Jade's. I just don't believe that he has your best interest at heart. Jeremy is a witch but has he once offered to undo this curse. Has ever tried?"

"He doesn't want to lose me," I replied.

"But he also know that the curse effect more than one innocent person. It's selfish and cruel. I just thought that you should know that. Anyway, I have a job interview in Seattle so I guess I'd better go."

"Where?"

"At an elementary school. Hopefully, I'll get the job."

Rebecca grabbed her keys and purse quickly and walked toward the door.

"Becks?" I called after her.

"Yeah," she said, gazing over her shoulder.

"Thank you."

I watched as Rebecca disappeared through the front sound of footsteps startled me. I turned to see Jeremy, shirtless as he approached me. The look upon his face was pleasant. He smiled faintly at me before he grabbed his tee shirt that was hanging on the back of the sofa and pulled it over his head.

"We should talk," I said to him.

He nodded in agreement.

"Last night should not have happened. I don't want to confuse you anymore than you already are. I'm still mad and hurt. It just should not have happened."

"I know," he agreed. "You don't think that I can see that, Bella. I know that you did not sleep with me last night for the same reason that I slept with you."

"This is hard for me," I said gazing at the tiled floor. "I don't want to hurt anyone."

Jeremy closed the distance between us. He placed a finger at my chin and tilted my face up so that I was meeting his gaze, "I know that. But no matter who you chose, so one will get hurt. I love you."

"Do you love me enough to let me go?" I asked.

"I...honestly," he asked reluctantly.

"Yes, honestly."

"No."

**A/N: So what did you guys think? Why didn't Jeremy just kill Ever? Do you think he still cares for her? What kind of plan does ever really have? Is Sam and Paul being too harsh on Bella? What about Bella sleeping with Jeremy? Do you think that is the last that we have seen of Villa? A million questions are circulating inside of my head. I hope you enjoyed.**


	16. Chapter 11 A plan and shield

**A/N:Hey guys! I skipped the teaser and decided to post the entire chapter. I should add that I do not own Twilight or it's characters. All characters that are not known public ally I have created. The plot is original minus the witches, werewolves, and vamps. This story had/has a beta who has been busy as of late. I can not blame her for enjoying her life. I'd rather post chapters with a few mistakes instead of waiting. A lot of people enjoy this story as much as I enjoy writing it so I would rather not put this story on **hiatus. Again, I am sorry for my grammatical errors. ** Enjoy!**

Chapter eleven- A plan and shield  
B.P.O.V

**_Do you love me enough to let me go?_**

I...honestly?

Yes. Honestly.

No.

The outside world may not have been coming to an end, but my world had been slowly crumbling for a while. Nothing was right. Everything had fallen straight to hell.

Every answer open ended. Every decision was a wrong one. Every sacrifice had an consequence. Everyday something I wanted was left behind. Every moment my heart felt the need to bleed.

How do you fight if you don't have the strength?

How do you choose between two people who made you a better person in two very different ways?

There's Jacob. It was always Jacob. No one could every replace him. I'd never feel the way that I felt about him for any other man in the world. He was everything to me. Jacob was the air that I needed to breathe. My world revolved around him.

Everyday and every night was filled with so much love and affection that lift me higher until I reached cloud nine. I'd attempt to part the ocean if he asked me to. I'd give my life if he needed me to. Every bone inside of me called to him. My heart wanted him. So what was the problem?

Jeremy. He was the problem. If Jacob had not imprinted on me I wouldn't have been attached to him. If the imprint was not involved I would have been able to move on. I fell in love with Jeremy. It was the first thing I successfully did on my own.

After everything, when I gazed into his eyes I could see the days the should follow. The days where we could be happy. The days where we only loved and no tears would shed. But deep down inside I knew that those days would never come. It no longer matter what I truly wanted from him. Our relationship completely ended when

I found out that I could get Jacob back.

Something are not meant to be. In an alternate universe I would choose Jeremy. We would be happy. He'd be the guy that I would make love to every night. He would be the guy that I confided in when I had problems. He would be the father of our children.

Jeremy would have been the reason that I went to sleep with a smile, eager to awake the next day. But only in an alternate universe, never reality because Jacob existed. Also because Jeremy hid a huge part of him from me. It was a part of him that changed everything. As long as Jake's heart was still beating I was still his and he was mine, my Jacob.

**Flashback...**

"Bells," Jacob shouted. "Is your door jammed?"

"No," I yelled. "Go away. I'm grounded."

"Bullshit," Jacob laughed. "Charlie told me that you said 'If Jacob come by tell him I have the flu'. So which is it? Are you grounded or do you have the flu?"

"Both," I muttered as I pulled a pillow over my head. "Go away, Jake. You don't want what I have. I'm contagious."

"Bells," he said. "Please don't make me kick your door in."

"You wouldn't."

"Five seconds."

"Fine," I screamed back at him. I stumbled lazily to my feet and walked over towards the door. Quickly, I removed the chair and opened it. There stood Jacob with his arms folded across his chest, a smirk twitched at his perfectly shaped lips as he pushed past me and entered my room.

"Bella," he said clearly annoyed. "Your not even dressed. I said I'd be here by six."

I walked over to my bed and flopped down on it, positioning my body upright, "And I thought you realized that I was not going after I didn't reply to your three texts."

Jacob rolled his eyes, "Get dressed."

"No," I replied. "I don't go to unknown places, Jake. Tell me where we are going and maybe I will get dressed."

"Are you going to get dressed or do I have to dress you myself?" he asked with a wink. "I wouldn't mind."

"Sure you wouldn't," I retorted. "I'm just not in the mood. I had a rough week."

Jacob joined me on the bed. I rested my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked sincerely.

"No. I really don't want to talk about the cullens with you."

"Why not?"

"Because it's a moot point. Your opinion is biased."

"Maybe, but I promise not to say the B word."

"I don't care if you say bitch," I pointed out.

"I meant bloodsucker," he chuckled. "Who knew you had such a dirty mouth?"

"Jake," I whined. "I just...I"

"Talk to me," he asked. "Please."

"Alice emailed me. They decided that visiting me occasionally is out of the question. Alice also said that she haven't heard from Edward at all. She can still see him, but he's different. A lot different. I just miss them. That is all."

"Do you still love him?" Jacob asked.

"It's very different than before. Can I be honest for a moment and not have you freak out on me?"

"Sure," he muttered. "I always want you to be honest with me."

"I don't think we should be friends anymore, Jake."

Jacob laughed hysterically at me. I pinched his arm and opened my eyes again.

Slowly, I turned to face him, gazing into his eyes, "I'm trying to be serious here."

His smile faded as he took my hands into his, "Are you breaking up with me? You can't break up with your best friend."

"I don't think we should be friends anymore," I repeated. "Your selfish, insensitive, annoying, and childish. I've known you all of my life, all of my life, and lately I've been thinking way to much about you."

"Thinking about me?" he asked incredulously.

"We can't be friends anymore. The truth is that I never learned how to be your are one of the most important people in my life. Your so important to me because I've been in love with you from the first moment that I saw you and I can't hide it anymore."

Jacob stared at me for what seemed to be hours. Rejection washed over me. At any second I thought he would burst in a fit of laughter and tell me to quit playing.

But I wasn't. I was in love with him and everyday my heart became more of his than my own.

"I want to try something," he finally said. "Don't move."

I sat clueless until Jacob's face came closer to mine. His face was so close to mine. I could tasted his breath on my tongue. His eyes seeped into my soul. They grew darker with every movement. His lips hovered over mine until finally after seconds of hesitation, his lips met mine. I through my arms around his neck as his tongue traced along my bottom lip begging for entrance. I allowed it. Our kiss grew urgent. His destination long forgotten. My night gown disappear before either of us could grasp what had changed and what was occurring.

Jacob pulled away from me, "I told you not to move."

He tried to remove himself from me but I pulled him back into my embrace, "I want you."

"We can't," he replied lamely.

"I love you," I admitted again.

"You shouldn't."

"Saying that doesn't change anything, Jake. I still feel the way that I do. I can't just be friends with you."

"Bells, please..."

"I need you, I love you, I want you. I refuse to just be your friend. This is right, Jake. It's so right and I know that you feel what I'm feeling because you kissed me back."

"Bella," he began and then hesitated. "I'm not good...enough for you. You and I can't be anything other than what we are."

Tears formed in my eyes as he uttered the very words I had been afraid of. It was the reason that I had kept my feelings to myself for so long. The road led to a dead end. We would never be anything other than friends. My friendship with Jacob was something that I cherished. I'd always cherish every memory that we shared.

"Tell me that what I feel is one sided? Tell me Jake."

"It is Bella. This can't happen. I'm sorry."

**End of flashback...**

"Momma," Jade repeated. Her sweet little voice startled me. She was seated beside me. Her smile welcomed me when I met her gaze,

"Yes beautiful."

"Can we do something?" she whined. "I'm bored."

"Your bored?" I asked and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yes. Let's go on an adventure"

I smiled at her enthusiasm, "I have to go over to Aunt Leah's and talk to uncle Sam in about two hours. So can this little adventure last for less than two hours?"

She nodded and tucked her curly hair behind her left ear, "Do you mind if Jacob comes? He likes adventures as much as I do."

I shrugged my shoulders and stood from the couch. Adjusting to Jacob's and Jade's relationship took a lot out of me. Forgiving him was taking so much of my energy. There was a constant war inside of me and it was not because of how I felt about Jeremy, but how I felt about myself. For the first time in my life I felt strong. I had a purpose and the thought of having my independence taken away from my caused me to build a mountain as tall as mount Everest around my heart. I was certain that

I wanted Jacob back. I wanted him back because I wanted Jade to have him fully  
apart of her life. His family missed him and I loved him. But I was not so sure if I loved who I was when I was with him. If I had to go back to being that girl instead of the woman that I've grown to be, I'd bleed the rest of my life without him.

I stood to my feet. Jade copied my movements. She gazed up at me and frowned, "He doesn't have to come. I just thought I'd ask."

I sighed and knelt down beside her. The last thing that I wanted was to hurt her feelings. Gazing into her now tear filled eyes pulled at my heart string, "Sure. I'd love for him to come. But where are we going?"

"Cliff diving."

"Oh god," I cried out of shock. "We are not going Cliff told you about cliff diving?"

"Grandpa talks alot," she admitted. "He told me that one time Jacob took you. He also said that you came back home with a broken wrist."

I nodded and stood up right, "That is exactly why you can not cliff dive. Jade. It's too dangerous for an eight year old."

"But I'm big for my age and I am not as clumsy as you are mommy. I have great posture. I'm a princess."

I bit my lip to hold back laughter before agreeing, "Your right. You are not as clumsy as mommy and you are the perfect size for your age. But I'm sure you wouldn't like it anyway. You hate to get your curls wet."

"What if I wear a cap?" she asked incredulously.

"What if I take you in five years?" I asked.

"Mom," she whined. "I'll be a grown 's too long."

"You'll be thirteen," I told her. "Five years will fly by before you know it."

I walked out of the living room, past the dinning room, and into the kitchen. Jade followed me. She climbed onto a stool at the counter,folded her hands, and placed them on the counter. I went straight for the refrigerator.

"Can I have a snack?" she asked.

"Sure, princess."

"I want pickles and peanut butter," she chimed.

I gazed over my shoulder at her, "That's 'll get sick eating that combination."

"Aunt Leah likes it."

"Aunt Leah is pregnant. Jade is not."

"When will she be unpregnant?" she asked.

I chuckled while grabbing the pickle jar and closing the refrigerator, "You mean when will she give birth?"

Jade nodded. I sat the pickle jar down in front of her and grabbed the peanut butter from the cabinet. Jade removed a pickle from the jar and dipped it into the peanut butter jar before taking a bite.

"Well sweetheart her due date is two months away but things can happen between then and now so we don't know. Let's hope that she give birth on her due date."

"Do you want one?" she asked.

"Do I want what?"

_Clearly she is not talking about a baby._

"A baby."

"A baby," I repeated after her. "Do I want a baby?"

"Yes! A baby," she said in an annoyed little voice. "I want you to want one."

"Oh, Jade I don't know what to say to that. There is a lot to think about."

"No there isn't. You just have to do it."

"Do what?" I asked curiously.

Clearly she is not talking about sex. She is not talking about sex right? Oh my god please don't let her ask me what it means to do, you know, IT.

"Have a baby, silly. You just have to do it, have one. Momma you are so weird sometimes. You spaz out a lot."

"I spaz out a lot?" I asked as I held back a laugh. "Who taught you that word?"

"Grandpa Charlie. He said he hoped you did't spaz out behind the wheel of your car yesterday. Where were you anyway?"

"Momma had to do a good deed."

#

When I arrived at Leah's, I was surprised to see her in a chipper mood. Her hair was piled in a beautiful mess on top of her head. She was wearing a pretty teal colored maxi dress. Leah was glowing, which was strange for someone who had been rushed to the hospital the night before. She smiled, turning her body slightly in my direction from the couch. Jade pushed past me quickly to get to her. Leah chuckled and embraced Jade. They rubbed their noses together in the way that they always did.

"I missed you," Jade cooed. She placed her palm on Leah's belly and smiled, "I missed you too, Aleah. I can't wait for you to get here beautiful girl."

I couldn't help but smile as I made my way over to them. Jade had such an uplifting presence. So much so that it scared me sometimes. There were days where I had to remind myself that she was Jacob's child as well mine.

"Hi," I nearly whispered.

Leah met my gaze, "Hi."

"I'm sorry," we both said together.

Leah chuckled and the kissed Jade's cheek.

"Sam told me a little of what I am so sorry that I've been-" I stopped mid sentence and glanced down at Jade. She was still to mesmerized with Leah's belly to pay attention to what I was saying. I shifted my attention back to Leah, "You know."

"Yeah," she agreed. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have expected you to make my pregnancy your number one priority. You and I did not create Aleah. Rick and I did. He is the one I should have beside me at every moment of the day. You have a life of your own."

"Thanks and thank god we did not create Aleah." I laughed. "We'd be in trouble if it were possible."

Leah's smile faded and fear washed over her facial features, "Sam also told me about what happened with you. Are you alright?"

I shook my head no. I was not alright. Sure I was doing a good job at keeping it all together but inside I was dying. Inside I was afraid. We sat quietly until Sam, Paul, Jared, and Embry finally arrived. It felt as if I had not seen Jared and Embry in years. The pack actually had time to live their lives with the lack of vampires. From time to time Sam would have them run patrols but only if he felt it was necessary. Embry and Jared looked as if they had grew a foot taller since our last encounter.

A few minutes after they arrived Sam told Embry and Jared to take Jade outside so that we could talk. Sam, of course started the conversation. But it did not take long for both Sam and I to come to an disagreement.

"I don't think you and Paul should go and talk to Jeremy," I said to him. "Having both of you go down there will start a battle that neither of you are ready for."

Leah came to my aid, "Bella's right. Your not going to go on his territory and threaten him. Not to mention Alba is there with him."

"Leah," Paul said. "Are you going to go and talk to him in your condition?We have to do something. I'm tired of waiting around. We are not getting any younger and

Jacob is not closer to coming back with us acting like sitting ducks."

"No," Sam interrupted. "She is not going down there. It's too dangerous. Honestly, I'm done talking. He can undo the curse or I'll kill him. I'm done trying to come to a mutual agreement. My offer on a truce is void," Sam said angrily.

"Your not going to hurt him, "I shouted. "He's still a human being in spite of all of this. Jeremy is strong and your not invincible. Think of every one's safety."

Leah stood from the couch and gazed around at each one of us, " All of you need to calm down. Sam, you and Paul can not go and talk to Jeremy because you guys don't trust him and he doesn't trust you. The way that I see it is that Bella is the one who can convince him to do the right thing." Her gaze then fell onto me, "But Bella has to decided now who she is fighting for. Bells don't go and talk to Jeremy until you are sure that you are making the right decision."

"She's fighting for Jake," Paul said. "She is his imprint."

Leah shot him a death glare, "Shut up Paul. I know that, she knows that, all of La push knows just because you guys think Jeremy is the anti Christ doesn't mean that Bella's feelings for him will just disappear. I'm not going to be biased here just because I am a part of this pack. Bella is my best friend and I am hers. As your best friend I am asking you, Bella, do you want to fight this battle and are you prepared to lose Jeremy in the process?"

"Of course she is," Sam intervened. "That's a stupid question to ask, Leah."

"No it's not," I shouted. "I know what I want to do. But I also know what I'm going to do. All of you just have to trust that I'm going to do what's best for everyone."

"You can't ask me to trust your decision when each decision that you've made have been ignorant," Sam hissed.

"Your right. I have made ignorant decisions," I said to him. "But I have to suffer for them. Not you. I'll go and talk to Jeremy tomorrow. Leah I'm going to need you to take the girls." I turned to face Sam and Paul, "Stay close by and listen in if you want."

"Fine," he agreed. "But if you don't get him to do something within twenty four hours we will take matter in our own hands with no objections from you. Deal?" He asked as he held out his hand for me to shake.

I nodded, "Deal."

_**The next day...**  
_

Leah, Jade and I arrived at Jeremy's house a little before noon. After Leah pulled into the drive way, I sat in the passenger seat for a few minutes gathering my thoughts. My plan was to get Jeremy to open up to me and to agree to change the curse. Sam had only given my twenty four hours and I intended to make the most of them. Turning to face Leah, I struggled to find the correct words to say.

"Bella," Leah began. "If you don't want to do this..."

"No," I objected. "I want to do this. You may need to keep the girls overnight. I have a feeling this is going to take a while."

Leah smiled, "Sure."

I got out of the car and opened the door to give Jade a hug and a kiss. She wrapped her arms around my neck as she kissed my cheek and jaw repeatedly.

"I'll see you later alright?"

She nodded, "I love you."

"I love you too."

I turned around to see Alba running down the driveway. She smiled lightly as I embraced her. Truthfully, I missed her and I was sure that she missed me too. It was a shame that things turned out the way that they did. I just hoped that she could for give me for keeping my distance from them..

"How did you know that I was here?" I asked pulling away from her.

"I know everything, " she smiled. "Daddy is waiting for you."

I watched as Alba climbed into the car. After saying goodbye to them I walked up the driveway and in to the house. It was quiet. I closed the door behind me and started down the hallway. When I reached the living room I noticed how plain it was. There were no family portraits or any unique decor. Only a simple brown couch and lamp in the corner. The house had wooden features in the inside that did not quite match the outside. It was quiet, simple, and masculine just like Jeremy.  
After pacing the length of the rooms downstairs I decided I'd go upstairs to find  
Jeremy.

My nerves got the best of me by the time I reached the top stair, "Jeremy," I called out to him.

He didn't answer me. I blew out an angry breath and proceeded forward.

When I noticed a light on at the end of the hallway I followed it. As I got closer I could see his back both smooth and bare. Jeremy's jeans hung dangerously low at his waist. I sighed and bit my lip before moving further. I caught myself admiring him more than I should have.

_Stop it Bella. Think of Jake. Your here for Jake._

Quietly, I stood in the archway of the door admiring the room. It was his bedroom I presumed. I'd never been inside of Jeremy's house or room until then. The floors were wooden and there was a huge king sized bed at the center of the room. He also had a huge bookshelf lined up against the right wall, stacks of books on the floor near it, and a computer desk as well. After a few moments Jeremy turned to face me acknowledging my presence. His expression was hard to read. I watched as he folded his arms over his bare torso protectively.

"Hi," I said.

" told me that you were coming. I just did not think that it would be this soon."

My attention shifted from his gaze down to his chest and then back again. Jeremy smirked and walked over to grab his shirt from the bed, "Sorry."

"Don't worry about took Jade and Alba with her for the day. We have a lot to discuss. I know that you know how to undo the curse."

"The curse is not mine to undo."

"Bullshit," I yelled at him. "Your being selfish. Innocent people are suffering. If you ever loved me-"

"Don't," he interrupted. "Don't try to guilt me into doing something that will risk my life. I'm not going to undo the curse."

Anger and word vomit decided to join our conversation, "And why is that? Are you afraid that once Jacob is back that we will be done? We are already done. What happened two nights ago shouldn't have happened."

"Well it did," he retorted.

"And I regret it," I told him. "I regret letting you make love to me as I thought about Jacob. You may have thought that it was all you but it wasn't. It was jake. Even when I had been making love to you."

Jeremy shot me a death glare and took a few steps closer to me, " You know Bella, talking shit to me is not going to help you get what you want. So just let it be."

"No," I shouted. "Your going to undo the curse and make all of this right."

"Right for who?" he asked sarcastically. "Right for you and everyone down at La push? What the hell about me? Have you even thought about what would happen to me if I tried to undo the curse?" Jeremy asked condescendingly. "No you haven't."

"What happens if you undo the curse?"

"I die," he said easily. "End of story."

"But Ever was going to undo the spell. She was risking her life-"

"She was not risking her life," he said. "Ever is stronger than I am. She also has a gift that I don't possess. Ever can channel other witches house that you were in allowed her to channel enough energy to undo the curse. I can't do that, Bella. It takes a lot of power to undo a curse. It's power that I don't have and I'm not going to die in order to bring your precious husband back," he spat.

"Then why did you tell Sam-"

"Fuck Sam," he yelled at me. "He did not come down here to find out why I refused to undo the curse. He gave me a damn ultimatum in which I refused. I'm just really tired of this."

"Your tired," I said stalking over to him angrily. "You don't know the meaning of the word. All you've been through was people asking you to make this right. I've gotten knocked onto my ass too many times to count. I nearly died-"

He interrupted me, "You chose this path, Bella. You did. Your the one who refuse to let go."

"I can't let go."

"You wont to let go. It's never occurred to you that you almost did let go Bella. We were happy."

"You want to believe that Jeremy. I wanted to believe it too. But I was only happy when you were there. When you left for even a second I fell apart. If I could have been happy with you entirely Jacob would not be an issue. But he is. He's a part of me and no matter how hard I try I can't bury my feelings for him."

"Do you hear yourself right now?" he asked. "Just stop because your pissing me off. Why are you even here?"

"You know why I'm here," I said.

"Yeah, well the awnser is still no so you should just go."

I gazed into his eyes one last time before turning to leave. I did not want Jeremy to hurt because of me. But he would hurt whether I stayed or not. As I reached the door, I couldn't help but feel as if I had approached this all wrong. I was supposed to come down here and persuade him to do the right thing, not confess my love for Jacob.

I turned to face him again, his big brown eyes were pleading with me. He was begging me not to make this any harder on him. But I could not leave it alone.

"Why do you love me so much? I asked.

"Huh?"

"Why do you want to be with me so much Jeremy?"

Jeremy ran his left hand through the strains of hair on his head before walking over to me. His eyes were full of love and admiration as he gazed down at me.

Jeremy's fingertips brushed a few stray hairs in my face behind my ear. I waited for his response as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth before saying, "When I look at you I see everything that my life could be. I've never met anyone like you and I'm afraid that I'll never meet anyone like you again."

"I understand," I said as I took his hands into mine. "And I love you so much. But it's not enough. It's never going to be enough."

Jeremy shook his head viciously and gripped my wrists, "Bella we can be happy-"

"No we can't," I snapped. "Listen to me-"

"No," he shouted. "I love you. Let me show you."

Jeremy leaned into me, desperately seeking out my lips. My face thrashed back and forth in refusal until finally our lips met. My lips pressed firmly together as my body tensed and I closed my eyes tightly. I was trying so hard to refuse him, to refuse his advances in spite of my raging hormones. After nearly a minute of no response Jeremy pulled away from me, "I'm sorry."

I nodded as the tears filled my eyes, "Me too. I think I should go. This is getting us no where."

He reached out for me, halting my movements, "There is still so much to talk about. Please, just stay for a while."

**J.P.O.V**

Leah had taken Alba and Jade to the mall. I watched as they moved in an out of the isle's of the toy store. I did not like the fact that a very pregnant Leah was responsible for keeping an eye on Jade. There was a feeling in my gut that I could not get a hold of. It was the feeling that you get before something awful happens.

Walking over to Jade, I nudged her. She gazed over at Alba who was occupied with drawing books, then walked in the opposite direction. Once we were out of her sight

I spoke, "I want you to convince Leah that your sick and ask her to take you home."

"But why?" Jade asked curiously.

"Daddy is worried, "I said. "Aunt Leah is in no condition to have both you girls out alone."

"I just want to get one toy dad. Just one and then I'll tell her okay?"

"Jade," Alba's voice called out to her. "Where are you? I want to show you something."

"I promise," she whispered before stepping out of the isle and into Alba's sight.

I followed behind her closely. I noticed Leah at the counter speaking with a sales associate. Alba had a toy ball in her hand. As she reached for Jade's hand the ball fell to the floor. It rolled down the isle until being stopped by a foot. Fear fled through me as the blonde hair and tall form hindered my sight. It was Ever. Before I could stop Jade, Alba took after the ball with Jade in tow. My attention shifted to Leah who was a little too occupied for my liking. I wanted to call out to her. Desperately, I wanted to gather her attention but she could not hear me. When I turned back to face the girls, they were gone.

Panic fled through me as I started for the the door. When I neared the door, there was an earth shattering scream. The scream sounded like my baby girl. My stride quickened as I exited the store. Leah's voice cracked in the background calling for

Jade and Alba. She finally realized that they were gone. I did not have time to stick around for what would happen next.

The hallways were flooded with people as I moved iin and out of the crowd; invisible. I noticed a them heading for the main exit. Ever was on the move and she had Jade and Alba with her. I'd could recognise my daughter's hair, scent, and heartbeat a million miles away but Bella could not. I was afraid that she would disappear with Jade and no one would ever find them. I ran as fast as I could but by the time I reached the door they were gone.

Tears fell from my eyes as I rushed back inside of the mall to check on Leah. She was surrounded by mall security. They informed her that the police were on their way. Tears stained her cheeks as she took out her cellphone and dialed a number,

"Hello, Bella. I need you to get to Seattle immediately. I took Jade and Alba to the mall. I turned my back for a second and their gone."

Leah hung up the phone and began rubbing her belly soothingly until the police arrived. She had done a good job of holding herself together for the sake of her baby. But I could see that at any second she would crack. The police were considerate and not drilling her with questions that would not help the current situation. Leah closed her eyes tightly and inhaled. She opened them again and continued to talk to the police.

"What is your relationship to them?"

"I'm their aunt."

"I also need a description of what each girl was wearing."

"Jade was wearing a striped dress. It is teal and purple. She wore white flat shoes and headband with butterflies on it. Her hair is dark brown, curly, and long. She has brown eyes and is an eight year old Caucasian and native American girl."

"And the other?"

"Her name is Alba Crowe. She is ten. She wore a black shirt, blue jeans, and black sneakers. Her hair is reddish brown and her eye color changes from brown to grey.

She's Caucasian and native American as well. But Alba appears Caucasian instead of native American unlike Jade."

"Alright. Wait right here for a moment."

Leah's sobs picked up as she waited impatiently. Tears fell from my eyes. I was afraid to catch up with Jade. The last thing I wanted was to find that something awful had happened to my daughter. I could only imagine what Bella was going through after receiving that phone call. I prayed that someone would reach them before something awful happened.

**B.P.O.V...**

Jeremy's grip grew tighter on my arm as I continued to shove him away. I did not want to hear anything else. What I wanted was his car keys so that I could get the hell out of here. My sobs grew louder. His voice was just a whisper as he continued to plead with me, begging me to listen. But I would never listen. I'd heard enough.

After recieving a phone call from Leah exclaiming that the girls were missing I did not give a shit about anything else. My daughter was all that mattered. I could not understand why Jeremy was being so liant about the situation.

"Bella, damn it calm down. Driving all the way to Seattle won't do us any good."

"Let go of me," I hissed. "I have to go."

We were in the living room now. Jeremy's grip on my waist grew tightly as he tackled me to the couch, pinning my arms to my side, as I lay on my back between him and the cushioned couch.

"Bella," he said. "Listen to me-"

"Get the fuck off of me," I cried. "We have to go."

Jeremy bit his lip in anger. So much so I was sure he drew blood, "I'm going to help you get her back. But driving all the way to Seattle won't help us. You need to call Leah and Sam. Tell them to meet you here. Your gonna help me with a location spell. But I need you to pull yourself together first."

I nodded, "Okay."

After calling Sam and Leah, I joined Jeremy on the floor. He had a map and a necklace with a ancient looking stone at the end of it. I watched as he took a blade needle and pricked the skin of his finger. Jeremy' blood fell to the map but did not seep through. He held the necklace above the blood and closed his eyes. I watched as the blood formed a trail on the map. Jeremy remained still until gravity pulled the pendent to the map. His eyes opened as we gazed at the destination.

"Bitch," he shouted. "I'm going to kill her this time."

"You should have done it the last time," I glared at him. "Why didn't you kill her the last time? What is it going to take to get you to do the right thing? Does our kids have to die in order for Ever to be stopped. She's conjuring up some master plan in the giant head of hers and you know what, I think you know just what it is."

"Bella," he pleaded.

"Why does she want to help bring him back?" I shouted. "Why does Ever want Jake alive just as much as I do?"

"We don't have enough time to talk about that."

"More secrets huh?" I asked. "My decision was right to break things off with you. I finally see what separates you from Jacob. He'd sacrifice anything to see the people that he love happy. You, on the other hand need blood before you will take action. Your nothing like him."

Before Jeremy could respond there was a loud hammering at the door. It was Sam.

That much I was certain. I stood to my feet and rushed over to the door. When I opened it Sam pushed me aside to get to Jeremy. He shoved him against the wall of the living room.

"Sam wait," I shouted. I was smart enough not to pursue them in the middle of their fight, "You have to stop right now."

"I'm going to kill him," Sam growled. "This is all of his fault."

"You think I wanted this to happen?" Jeremy asked esperatedly. "That I wanted the girls placed in the middle of this."

"It doesn't matter. This is your fault."

"It's not his fault. Sam we are wasting time arguing about this. Let him go."

"No," Sam shouted.

"Let me go," Jeremy hissed. "I'm not fighting back right now. But I will in a second."

"Sam please. Jade need us. We know where they are,"

Realization crossed his face as he released Jeremy. They both held their angry gaze and straightened out their clothes.

"Sam call everyone and have them meet us in Oak Harbor, Washington. She want to involve my daughter in this, a fight is what she will get."

I sat quietly inside of Jeremy's car as I waited for Sam and Jeremy to finish whatever conversation they were having. Sam awnsered his phone once more before.  
Impatiently, I honked the horn once more and gestured for them to hurry up. After a few more minutes Jeremy and Sam got in to the car.

"Let's go," I said annoyed. "Am I the only one who is losing their fucking mind here?"

"Bella. I called Billy to inform him of what is going on."

"And?"

"I got Rebecca. She said when she arrived back at the house Billy was gone. He left a note saying a friend took him grocery shopping."

"So?"

Sam sighed, "So it's been nearly six hours since then."

"We don't have time worry about Billy. Jade is in danger."

"Jeremy thinks that Billy helped Ever kidnap Jade and Alba."

"What?" I cried. "That doesn't make since."

"It does," Jeremy said.

"The pack is going to meet us guys went to Seattle to meet with Leah.

They are going to trace their scent. Rick is taking Leah back home. Also Emily and  
Rebecca are headed that way for support. I don't want you to worry Bella. Jade will be fine."

I gazed blankly out of the window. So far I had managed to be strong. I'd managed to keep myself together in spite of the rage that coursed through my veins. My world was shattering around me and it is only so much that one person could take before they snapped. My daughter was probably scared shirtless. Knowing that placed my heart in a tremendous amount of pain. Once again, because of my she was suffering.

#

**B.P.O.V**

I was nervous. Tears stained my cheeks as I stood quietly in the background. Sam and Jeremy were attempting to work together. But even their team work could not put my fear to rest. I was afraid for Jade and Alba. Ever had lost her damn mind. One thing was for sure, if I came within reaching distance of her there would be hell to pay. My thoughts had gone rouge.

Every limb on my body was trembling as I began to pace back and forth. The tears would not stop. My fear was placing my body into shock.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and that halt my movement. Gazing over my shoulder, there were Rebecca and Emily. Sorrow shown in their eyes as they embraced me. I did not want to be consoled. What I wanted was my daughter out of that house. I wanted her in my arms both safe and sound. Soon I would need was some form of strength before my legs decide to give out on me. Before I could warn Rebecca and  
Emily, my body pummeled to the soil and my sobs increased, echoing out into the open field.

"Bella, it's alright," Rebecca said into my ear. "It's alright."

"It's not alright," I shouted as I gripped onto to her shirt. "My daughter is in that house with that bitch. She kidnapped her and she's using Alba's magic to shield them. You have no idea, no idea, what happened to me while I was in there.

Oh my god..."

My body began to tremble repeatedly. I was having a panic attack.

"Sam," Emily yelled. "Sam, you have to help us calm Bella down. She need to pull herself together."

Seconds later Sam's voice call out to me. I could barely see his face from the thick fog and darkness that covered us. His palm began rubbing soothing circles on my back, "Bella you have to relax. You are a lot stronger than this. You have to get it together for Jade's sake. She's going to be fine. We are going to get both  
Jade and Alba out of there. But you have to pull it together."

"I can't," I sobbed. "Why did she take my daughter? What are they doing in there? Why isn't Billy stopping any of this? He's in there with them. How could he betray us like this? None of this makes sense to me."

"I don't know," he whispered. "I don't know what Billy is doing in there."

"Why would Billy help her kidnap his granddaughter. I just-"

"Jeremy think that Ever is going to attempt to undo the curse tonight. He also think that Billy is going to sacrifice himself to bring back Jacob. Ever is channeling Alba's powers so that she is strong enough to bring back Jacob and with Alba's shield up we don't know if Jeremy is strong enough to get through it. He's really trying. Not just for Jade but for Alba. If she consume too much of her power. It will damage her pretty bad. It going to take a lot of power out of them both to undo the curse. But because it's Alba's power that Ever is channeling it will not effect her as much. It's not looking to good for her, Bella. "

"There has to be a way to stop this. I don't want Alba to get hurt. Why is Jade inside? Why did that bitch take my baby?" I asked.

"Jeremy believes that Ever will release Jade safely in exchange for you."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"That she wants you dead."

TO BE CONTINUED...

A/N: So what did you guys think? I want to know.


	17. Chapter 12 Time to go see mommy

**A/N: Hey guys! More crazy things happen in this chapter so I will not bore you with a long author's note. Thanks for reading Remember me and I appreciate each and every review. If anyone want to know what the spell reads in english just ask. It's nothing but silly sentences that I put together. I'm no spell expert. Sorry about the lack of Leah in this chapter. I felt bad for putting her in the middle of a combat zone. Something awful could happen. She will return in the next chapter. **

**Chapter twelve** **J.P.O.V**

Sitting across from my dad felt surreal. It was surreal because he could not see me. His face shown just how afraid he was. Billy had always been transparent when it came to his true feelings. I loved my father with all my heart. He raised Rachel, Rebecca, and myself without any complaints. Sure, he was a pain in the ass most of the time. I was the problem child. For the most part, I was an A student and respectful. I was also outspoken and always looking for something exciting to get in to.

I was unsure of whether this would break what was left of my heart or save me. My fears were weighing on my being. I could no longer see the light at the end of the road. I wish I could rewind time and do it all over again. I'd do it differently. For starters, I would have told Bella the truth. Maybe she would have found the strength to let me go. Maybe she would have met a man who could have been what she needed long before Jeremy could come along. Bella and Jade could have been anywhere in the world enjoying their lives instead of being trapped in this situation.

My daughter was afraid and that scared the shit out of me. Watching this occur was killing me. Whatever Alba was doing had a horrid effect on her. It was draining the light out of her. She was focused. Her eyes black as night as she stared out into space. Ever was manipulating them both. I wanted to kill that bitch. In spite of my efforts, Jade was no longer communicating with me. Her tear filled eyes were locked on Alba's. They were sitting quietly on the floor, facing each other, and holding hands tightly.

"Jade," I whispered. "Jade, I want you to listen to me. I'm going to search this house both high and low for an exit. Daddy's going to get you out of here."

Jade ignored me. I watched as Ever continued to light the candles in the room. The emotion was drained from her face. Her eyes were just as dark as Alba's. They looked like demons. I wanted to look for an exit but I could not bring myself to leave Jade for a second.

"Jade," Ever said. "It's alright. You don't have to hold her hands. Alba is a very strong girl."

"She's afraid," Jade said in a whisper.

"She's doing this for you. You have to remember that little one," Ever said turning to face the girls.

"Don't listen to her Jade," I hissed. "This is not about helping you."

" You want your daddy back right?" She asked.

Jade nodded.

"That is what Alba is helping me with. She's going to help me bring him back so that you can have a happy family."

"Do you promise?" Jade asked sweetly.

Ever knelt down beside them and smile sweetly at Jade, " I'd never lie to you. I promise to bring your daddy back in one piece."

"And what happens to Alba and Jeremy?" Jade asked sadly. "Are they going to leave me?"

"Of course not. Do you want to help me with something?" Ever asked.

Jade nodded, "Anything."

"Come here."

Jade was hesitant to let go of Alba's hands. She gazed back into Alba's dark eyes and smiled, "I love you. I'll be right back."

Alba did not respond as Jade let go of her hands and stood to her feet. She joined ever in the middle of the room. There was a huge pentagram drawn in the middle of the room on it's wooden surface. Ever placed Jade in the middle of the symbol. Jade gazed around with fearful eyes as Ever resumed her position outside of the circle.

"What is that symbol on the floor?" Billy asked.

"She's standing in a pentagram. Each point represents all of the elements earth, fire, air, water, and lastly spirit."

"And you are sure that no harm will come to Jade?" Billy asked.

"Just a little blood. You may do it. I'm sure she'll relax a bit more with you. Just take this knife and prick her finger tip."

"Will it hurt?" Jade cried. "Please don't hurt me grandpa."

"SHH," Billy said. He wheeled his chair closer to her and took her hand into his.

"I'd never hurt you. It's just a little prick okay. Just one."

Tears streamed down Jade's face as she held out her finger.

"Think of something that makes you happy," Billy said as he place the sharp point at her finger.

"Mommy, and Da-"

Her words were cut off when her sobs picked up. I took a step closer, anger seeping in my pores as I clenched my fists.

"There," Billy said. "It's over."

"It's far from over. This is just the beginning," I said.

**B.P.O.V**

I'd lost it.

Four hours of not knowing what was occurring inside had done that to me. We all were restless. Every limb on my body was numb. I cried every last tear from my tiny body. My heart had suffered enough. Desperately, I hoped that this all would come to an end soon. I wasn't strong or weak. I was hopeless. The voices of Sam and the others seemed distant. It were as if they were a million miles away. The night sky seemed darker than usual. I could feel my sanity begining to slip away from me. I could no longer grasp what was occurring. Jacob and Jade seemed to vanishing right before me eyes. Alba's shield made it impossible to feel. I could no longer feel anything. I was exhausted. My legs gave out on me so long ago. So, I sat quietly on the earth's soil as the others tried consistently to find a crack in Alba's shield.

Rebecca startled me when she sat down beside me. I gazed into her eyes. Her eyes spoke in volumes. She was pleading with me. I knew that I should have fought harder. Something inside of me wanted to find strength, to get up and fight with them. But the most dominate part of me had given up hope. I would lose him again. Nothing good would come out this and even if Ever managed to bring Jacob back to me tonight, I was preparing myself to say goodbye to him.

"Bella," Rebecca said. "Bella please you are scaring me."

She reached for my hand and squeezed gently, "Your not alone and no one will let you die here tonight. Jade will be fine. Jacob-"

"You don't know that, Rebecca. You don't know what will happen tonight. This is all my fault."

"Bella-"

"Don't," I hissed. "You want me to be strong? You want me to fight? Well I can't.  
I'm only human. That's all I am. I'm a human who has come close to death far to many times. I'm responsible for this and I'm a horrible mother. It's my mistakes that has led me here. It's my faults that has put my daughter in danger. Jacob did not want me to do this. He wanted me move on and let him go. I should have listened. If I had, Jade would be in my arms and not in there. "

"Bella, you listen to me. I can never thank you enough for everything that you've done. This curse, the pain, and everything negative in our lives will end tonight. Your not a horrible parent. You risked your life because Jade deserved her father. You did that Bella and you did it all on your own. You've done so much already. All that I'm asking is that you don't give up now. Don't give up on them when they need you the most. Jeremy is weak Bella. He is worried about you and that is a problem. He's not focusing on the girls. He can't with you like this so please-"

The guilt began to eat away at my heart. Rebecca was right. I was not doing anyone any good in my state. I'd promised myself that the old Bella was gone. The girl who took pitty upon herself and blamed herself for everything. I had done everything in my power to detach myself from the lost little girl who constantly felt tainted by everything but kept it all inside. My little girl was inside of that house. I couldn't give up on her or my faith in all of this. I'd gladly give my life for her safety.

I struggled to pick myself up off with ground with help from Rebecca. She wrapped an arm around me as we made our way over to the others who were standing a few feet away.

Gazing over at Rebecca I paused for a moment, "Becks, if anything happens to me I want you to have custody of Jade. You'd be great with her. I want you to make sure she get the life experiences that Jacob and I never had. Even if you have to move her away from La push. This is not the life that I want for her."

Rebecca turned to face me. Her eyes showed sympathy, "Bella, you will be fine. No one will let anything bad happen to you. I really appreciate that you would allow me to care for Jade but she won't need me. She'll have you and my brother to look after her."

I smiled uneasy, "You have far more faith than I have."

As we neared the group, Sam was standing to left of me. His arm was secured around Emily's waist and her head was buried in his neck.

"Sam," I said. "What's going on?"

"I'm trusting Jeremy like you asked. He's our only option at this point. Go ahead and talk to him. He's been worried sick about you."

I nodded and turned to see Paul and Jeremy standing side by side with Embry, Jared, and Quil. Their attention shifted to me when I joined them. Sam smiled lightly and I sighed as I walked closer to where Jeremy stood. He was having a minor confrontation with Paul. Paul was not good with taking direction from anyone but himself. He did not like being told what to do and from the look of things his patience had run too thin.

"Glad to have you back," Embry said. "It's not like you to go all chicken shit on us."

I smiled and rolled my eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Better late than never," Jared said sincerely.

My attention shifted to the obnoxious voice of them bunch, Paul.

"If you can't get through her shield then let us," Paul said angrily.

"No," Jeremy half yelled. "I'm not going to let you attack her. She will feel it. I will not allow you to do that."

"I'm not asking for permission," Paul sneered. "I'm warning you. If you don't do something and fast I'm going to take matters into my own hands."

"You don't want to fuck with me right now," Jeremy said, taking a step closer.

If I did not say something things would quickly spiral out of control. I placed a hand onto Jeremy's shoulder and he stopped his movement. He turned slightly and glance at me out of the corner of his eye. I nodded in assurence that I were alright. Although I was not quite sure that I was. His eyes were full of pain,

"Bella, I am so sorry. This is my-"

"It's not your fault. Your not making Ever do any of this. She is doing this all on her own. Alba is strong. Why did't you tell me?"

He shrugged, "I was afraid. I'm still very afraid for her. She have blackouts when she use her powers. It's so dark and powerful. I'm really trying to find a crack in her shield but there is none. Communicating with her mentally is not working either. Her thoughts and feelings are shielded as well. I want to talk to you. Alone, please."

I nodded and followed him away from the pack. Once we were out of hearing distance he turn to face me. There was so much that needed to be said. There was so much that I needed to know and I needed answers. If I was going to die, I wanted to know why. Why had Ever gone through so much trouble to kidnap my daughter, undo the curse, and take my life?"

"Jeremy, I want to know the truth. I need to know what Ever is getting out of this all. Where is this leading?"

"Bella-"

"Please," I begged. "There is a possibility that I may die. If I have to die, I'd like to know why."

Jeremy sighed and slid both his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. He gazed at the soil of the ground for a long moment and then met my gaze again, "Ever and I were intimate in the past. That was long before you came along and before I got better."

I felt as if someone had stabbed me in the heart. Ever wanted me dead because she was in love with Jeremy? I placed a hand over my heart for a brief moment. My body was shuddering again. Honestly, I was not in the mood to hear anymore. I couldn't stand the thought of them together, "Is she in love with you? Is that what this is about?" I asked in a whisper.

"I don't know," he admited. "I'm not sure if she is in love with me. We never talked much about feelings and I've never felt that way about her. I do love her. I've known her for a while and she helped me out a lot. But I've never been in love with her. Although, some of my actions in the past must have made he think other wise."

" You slept with her and shut your feelings off from her. You never cleared that up for her," I said disbelievingly. "And now she has some vendetta on me because you are in love with me."

"There was nothing to clear up. When I first slept with Ever, I was just figuring out what I was and what I could do. Something about her, and I was unsure what it was, wanted her. So we slept together and after I felt nothing but power. Being with her made me stronger. It's called physical energy. Our power fed off of one another when we were together sexually. I was in a dark place. I had no one and I just wanted to feel better about myself."

I snorted and rolled my eyes, "So you were a power junkie ? You kept sleeping with her to get your fix and afterward you were numb. How long did it last?"

"A few months. Ever knew so much about me. She never told me how she knew all of what she knew about me. She explained to me that I was a hybrid; Half witch and half wolf. She told me what had to be done to tap into my other half. We needed blood from an alpha in order to complete my wolf transformation. We began our search for an alpha, met a few witches and started our own coven. Things began to get out of control. Our coven members were doing underground deals with vampires in the south which put us on the map. Ever did not like it. She hated that lifestyle and I could feel her pulling away. She started talking more about breaking away and living a normal life. She was serious and I was so afraid to be without her. So I started to speak of finding an alpha again. I told her that I'd be strong enough to protect us both once we did. I told her that we could have a life together and that we would have babies and that they would be just like me. She agreed but that was before she was attacked by vampires and left for dead. After that she left the coven and everything fell a part. We all went our separate ways and once again I was alone. I met Lizzy and we did so much fucked up shit together. I had no clue of who I was or what I was doing. I found an escape in alcohol, sex, and anything else that could keep me distracted. Lizzy did not mind. She spent half of her life high. It was convenient for us both. Until I had Alba. I loved her so much and I wanted to change. For the first time in my life I wanted to do something right and I did. Ever just showed up in my life without any notice. She was still the same as I remembered. She's been secretive but I know something had to happen that led her back here. That offer that I made her years ago is void. I'm not that person anymore and I'm not going to let her destroy any lives."

Tears fell from my eyes, "You could have killed her-"

"I felt sorry for her. I felt sorry that I can't give her what she want," he said to me.

"Jeremy,I almost died because of her and you tell me that you felt sorry for her," I yelled at him.

"Bella-"

"If I survive after tonight I really have no idea how I can forgive after all of this."

Jeremy gazed at me with tear filled eyes.

My mind was attempting to process everything as the tears fell from my eyes. I had no idea whether to be angry or happy that he had told me the truth. Jeremy told me the whole truth and I could barely utter a word. I stared back into her apologetic eyes as he took a step closer, "Alpha blood?"

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Your a hybrid?"

"Yes," he admitted.

"Jeremy," I began. "If she hurt Jade-"

"Jade's blood won't work. She has not phased."

"Sam?"

Jeremy shook his head, "He doesn't have alpha blood."

"So, Jake?" I screeched. "She's going to hurt Jake?"

"She's going to try. I know her Bella. Which is why I asked to talk to you alone. I have a plan but I can't discuss it with the others."

"What is the plan?" I asked. "I'll do it. Just tell me what I have to do."

"You have to die," he stated.

**J.P.O.V**

The plan was in motion. There was no stopping Ever. I stood outside of the pentagram . Billy was inside of it. His eyes closed tightly anticipating what would happen next. My eyes were full of tears. My father was going to give his life for me. I did not want him to do that. But there was nothing that I could do. I'd never have the change to make up for the time that we lost. He suffered as much as I had. He had to sit back and watch as his children suffered. I wished that there was a way around his death but there were none. Some one had to sacrifice their self. I would never get to tell him just how much I loved and admired him. He was my hero. A part of me was angry. I knew it was not right of me to be. After all, if it were my Jade I would have given my life too.

"Ignus," Ever said.

I watched as fire spread around the pentagram. Billy opened his eyes and gazed around frantically, "Your going to burn down the house," he screeched.

"It's contained by magic. This place can't be destroyed," Ever shouted.

"Grandpa what's happening?" Jade asked as tears fell from her eyes. "I'm scared."

Billy glanced at her and faked a smile, "Don't be. Grandpa will be fine. Relax sweetheart."

"Alba," Ever began. "Your going to really feel this sweety. I promise this will be over soon."

Alba nodded. She seemed to be responding now but she still looked like a demon with dark eyes. Ever removed her jacket and closed her eyes.

"Are you sure this will work?" Billy asked.

"Positive. I need everyone to relax."

The fire flames covered Billy. But not too much. I could see the tears falling from his eyes.

He sighed and relaxed in his wheel chair. Ever began to chant, "Invoco elementa ignis, aqua, terra, aer, et spiritus Invoco spiritum da mihi licentiam petere alta mente Sinite eam, quid conveniens. Cognoscite ex me quid factum undo Dico sursum elementa ignis, aqua, terra, aer et spirt Sinite, videamus, quid quaeris Cognoscite ex me quaerere, quid ego."

I watched Alba's reaction. He eyes shut tightly and tiny whimpers filled the air. She was hurting physically and mentally. What Ever was doing was draining the light from her. It infuriated me that she would use her this way. Ever was well aware of what she were doing and the effect that it would have on Alba. Inspite of her power, she was still a child. Ever had chosen to ignore that little fact.

Ever's eyes flashed open. They were darker. Pitch black. She was trembling and she began to chant again, "Ut custodiat te obligo tibi noceret, in te malum, et malum contra alios Auferam erit dies una quæ vis-"

My bones felt as if they were breaking. The pain shot through my chest as I collided to the floor. Jade left her position next to ever and rushed over to me. She knelt down beside me. I felt her tiny fingers caress my forhead that had broken out in a sweat. I rolled over on my side and clenched my teeth. I felt as if I was dying. It was worse than the first time. Heaven felt as if it were in reaching distance as I struggled in inhale.

"Daddy," Jade cried. "What's wrong? Please-" she sobbed.

Ever continued to chant, "Itaque iam non es obumbrata quae non digna Alligo, ut custodiat te a beato ut beata esse tuis Ut custodiat te obligo noceret Damno et noxa in te contra alios-"

A cry admitted from my throat. I did not sound like myself. My voice seemed to echo off the walls. as the heat surged through me. I could hear both Jade and Billy calling my name. He could see me. Was that possible? My thoughts could barely stay focused on that thought as another surge of heat fled through me. Alba's whimpers turned into sceams. It terrified Jade because in an instant I no longer felt the warmth of my daughter.

My eyes remained closed but I could hear Jade sobbing in the back ground. She was pleading with Alba to wake up. I want to get up. I needed to see what was occuring but my body would not function properly. I just laid there, pleading with whatever god that was out there to let this all be over. Physically,

I was not sure if I could take this anymore. I felt weak. My body felt starved and my nerves were shot.

I listened helplessly as Ever continued to chant, "Undo ego quondam tua. Undo ego quondam tua. Undo ego quondam tua. Undo ego quondam tua."

"Jacob," I heard Billy sob. "Jacob. Open your eyes, please."

Slowly, I attempted to open my eyes. My vision was just as weak as I felt. I could not move my body at all. I did not have the strength to do so. Billy was staring into my eyes. The tears fell from his eyes as his sobs picked up.

"Dad," I said. "Can you really-"

I stopped mid sentence as I watched Billy's eyes flutter. His body grew limp in his  
wheelchair. I attempted to move again but I could not. My stomach lurched and I felt the urge to vomit. The air had been sucked out of my lungs as I strangled helplessly for a breath. I couldn't bear witness to this. My body trembled intensely.

"Dad," I sobbed. "Please. Dad...I love you."

My efforts to force myself from the floor was futile and left me breathless, panting, and in tears.I cried helplessly on the floor. No words could express what I felt in that moment. He was gone. Watching my father die broke what was left of my heart. He gave him life for me, for our family. I was grateful for that and a soon as this is over I would bury him in honor. That was what he deserved.

I heard footsteps approaching. I opened my eyes again to see Ever standing over top of me. She had smirk on her face as he eyes traced over my form. I wanted to rip her a part but I did not have the strength to do so. She knelt down beside me. Her eyes were still completely black. Her cool palm pushed a few stray hairs away from my face.

"So," she began. "How do you feel?"

"I can't...move," I managed to say.

"It's a spell," she admitted. " Your going to be of use to me. But I have to kill your wife first," she whispered.

"Don't you," I coughed up. "Don't you fucking touch her."

"One more outburst from you and I'll do what I doing to you to her," she said as she glanced over her shoulder at Jade who was still attempting to wake up Alba. Her body was lying lifeless on the floor.

"Help her," I told her. "Help Alba."

"She'll be fine," Ever said. "I have bigger fish to fry."

She stood to her feet and lifted her shirt slightly. There was a gun tucked there. My breath caught in my throat as she turned on her heels and walked over to where  
Jade was. Jade's facial expression made my heart clench as Ever grabbed her by the arm. The ruff gesture caused my wolf to stir but it was not enough. There was nothing that I could do. I was paralyzed and failing Jade as a parent. I couldn't protect her or myself.

"Jade," Ever said sternly and removed the gun from her waist. "Time to go see mommy."


	18. Chapter 13 All that is broken

A/N: Again, I am not the creator of Twilight, the saga, or it's characters. I do not receive money for this story or anything of the sort. Thanks again for reading and reviewing Remember me. This story has been nominated in the Paw biter category for JBNP summer awards. Voting opens tomorrow. I will post a like then. Let's get on with this shall we? :)

**B.P.O.V**

I'd never thought about how I would die. Dying in place of someone that I love seemed like a good way to go. My life had not been what I thought it should have been but I would not change it. Out of all the heartbreak that I suffered, I was given things that most people never experience. I was loved. It was the kind of love that you see in the movies. It was the kind of love that still exist between two souls who shared it when the world died out. I gave birth the purest soul I'd ever come in to contact with. Jade was the most important person in my life. She was half of myself and Jacob. No one could change that. In spite of all we had been through and all of the heartbreak that I had suffered because of him, when I looked at her all I could see is the way that Jacob and I used to be.

I could see his smile and hear his laugh echoing inside of my room when we spent late lights sitting up in that very dim lit room laughing at everything and sometimes nothing at all. I could see the look in his eyes when he told me that he loved me. Everything good and beautiful about what we had been, I could see whenever I gazed at her. If someone would have told me that this would be my life a few years ago, I would have called them mad. But this was my life. I'd seen more than someone who lived to be one hundred years old. If this was my time to go I would accept it.

I gazed at Jeremy. He held his stance. His attention shifting between Sam and Ever. Ever still had a firm grip on Jade. That fact alone forced Sam and Paul to reconsider attacking her. No one wanted to place Jade at risk of being hurt. Ever still had a firm hold on the gun in her right hand as she eyed me in disgust.

"You don't have to do this," Jeremy said.

"Never try to reason with the person who hold the gun," she smirked. "Someone could get their head blown off."

"Why are you doing this?" Emily asked. Sam gripped her arm tightly. Emily took the hint and shut her mouth. I gazed back at Jeremy who simply nodded his head.

"I'm done fighting. Let her go and you can have me," I said to her.

"No," Paul snapped.

"Bella, what do you think you are doing?" Sam said taking a step forward. Ever pointed the gun in his direction, "Take another step and I'll lay you out."

Sam paused but held my gaze, "Bella-"

"Your a smart girl Bella," Ever began. "In another life, I may have actually liked you. We probably would have been great friends."

"You can put the gun down and be done with this," Jeremy shouted at her.  
She laughed viciously, "I can't do that."

"Why not?" Jeremy asked stepping forward.

Ever pointed the gun at him. Her eyes were so dark and emotionless. But Jeremy continued to step forward.

"When I said don't fucking move," she snarled. "I ment it."

"You won't hurt me," he said. "You need me."

"Really?" she said loudly. "Your lucky I do or you would have been dead a minute ago."

"You love me too much to hurt me."

"This has nothing to do with love."

"Then what do you want?" he asked. "Just tell us what you want and we can end this."

I watched as the tears began to fall from my eyes. Ever had a tight grip on Jade's hand. Jade was remaining calm throughout this. That did not shock me. She was a strong girl. She was a lot stronger than her momma. My thoughts lingered on Alba and Billy. Where were they?

"Jadey bug are you alright?" I asked. She looked at me with sadden eyes and shook her head no. My heartbroke in that moment.

"I want things to go back to the way that they were before I left.I never should have left."

"That will never happen," Jeremy said. "I'm different now and so are you. But we can work it out."

"You would do that?," Ever asked.

"I would do that for you."

"Why?" she asked incrediously.

"When I first met you, there was a light inside of you. Right now that light is gone. Look the hell around you. What do you really see here? Really look at what your doing. Your destroying lives. I'll help you. I'll love you even. But killing Bella is not the way to go."

"I'm not destroying anything," she said. "And this sentimental bullshit will end now. Here is how this is going to go. I'm going to kill her. You'll be heartbroken at first but you will get over it. Then, we will get the fuck out of this god awful town and go through with our plan."

"What plan?" Paul hissed. "And what fucking makes you think that we won't kill you?"

Ever smirked, "Because if you even move an inch in my direction Jacob dies."

"Jacob?" I said as I held my hand over my heart. "Where is he?"

"He's inside but he's also paralyzed. I kill him before you can ever blink your eyes."

"You undid the curse?" Jeremy asked disbelievingly. "You were not-"

"No I was not strong enough to do it alone. Alba helped me."

"And Billy?" I asked. "Where is Billy?"

"He's gone now."

"You bitch," Jeremy yelled. "Do you have any idea what you've done? Where is she?"

"She's resting now," Ever said quietly.

It all happened so fast that I did not have time to realize what was occur until I saw the blood. My heart stopped. Pain fled through me as screams and loud snarls surrounded me. Jeremy was on top of Ever from what I could see. He would not stop. Her screams filled the air. I was shocked. I thought for sure Ever would over power Jeremy. I blinked my eyes twice in an attempt to regain my vision. Maybe I was seeing thing but Alba seemed to be standing away from us. If I did not know any better I'd say she was elevated above the ground.

My attention shifted when I felt a warm body pressed against mine. It was Emily. She was sobbing. Her tears soaking my skin as she held on to me. I did not realize that I was on the ground now. When I tried to move my body failed me. It felt as if the air was being sucked from me. I struggled to breathe but my gaze never left hers. I envisioned death would happen much quicker than this. I guess I was wrong.

**J.P.O.V**

Bella agreed to my plan without a second thought. I felt bad that we had to keep it to ourselves but it had to be real. Tonight, only one person would die completely. That person would be Ever. I had done all I could to convince her to change her mind. She chose this road and now it was time for her to face what waited at the end. I knew Ever well. She would see right through our act if I gave everyone something to look forward to. Bella was brave soul. She was willing to experience the death that Ever had planned for her in hope of making this all right.

I was certain that Ever would kill Bella fast and in the most humanly way possible. She would not use magic in fear that I would reverse it. A part of me was happy that I had once been so close to her because I would be able to anticipate her every move. Bella distracted the others long enough for me to complete the binding spell. Now that I knew Ever was successful in bringing Jacob back, I knew that he was the one person that she would never kill. She needed him alive. My plan was perfect. No matter what happened as long Jacob was alive Bella would be too.

Ever could not know that. Bella had to die tonight. It would scare the shit out of everyone but that is what we need. I had to allow Ever to believe that she killed Bella and that I give in. Her weakest moment is when I'll kill her. That weakest moment would be the moment she believed that I loved her the way that she loved me.

My plan was still in motion. Although it did not go exactly the way I intended.

After Ever told me that my daughter was resting I lost it. I imagined the worse had happened because of Ever's stupidity. Before I could reach her the gun sounded. I did not have time to see if the bullet had made it's way at Bella as I lunged at her. Ever released her grip on Jade and met me half way. Our body's collided with a loud impact. I'd never imagined this day would ever come. Ever was someone that I once respected and worshiped. That level of respect was gone. I'd never forgive her for what she had done. I could hear snarls in the background. Sam and the pack had phased. I appreciated the fact that the pack allowed me to stand my ground and fight. I did not want the them to fight this battle. This was my mess and I had to clean it up. I could have prevented all of this if I was not selfish. I did not want to give Bella up. I knew that I had to. I owed her that much. My secrets had caused her enough heartache and the worse had to happen before I realized it. I was a coward. I was afraid to hurt.

"You'd kill you own kind for her," Ever spat as we circled one another.

"No," I stated through clenched teeth. "I'd kill you for her."

"I don't want to do this. But you leave me know choice. I'm going to make you forget this place. We will pick up where we left off. None of this will exist to  
you. I'm a lot stronger than you Jeremy. Your fighting a losing battle. Don't make me strip your memories awa-"

Ever did not finish her sentence. Her body crippled and fell to the ground. She let out an earth shattering scream, her finger nails clawing into the earth's soil. I gazed down at her body's stance. I had no idea what was occurring. Ever's hair was in messy knots and nearly covering her face. Her entire body was flat on the earth's surface as she continued to scream. I caught sight of a figure in the dark. The unknown figure was to far away for me to see clearly and it remained still.

Seeing the opportunity that had risen, I positioned myself on top of Ever. My hands at her throat strangling the life from her. She began to kick, her mouth ajar as she attempted to swallow any bit of air that she could. I would not allow it. I squeezed tighter. It puzzled me that she was so weak. I was sure that Ever would put up a fight when the time came to do so. But here she was allowing me to kill her. I could see the life draining out of her. That drove me further like a mad man. I paused for a moment and allowed her breathe. I had something to say and before she died I wanted her to hear it. Her eyes pitch black and emotionless as the looked back into mine. There was no telling what she saw when she looked into my eyes. I had no clue if this was a part of her plan but she was not fighting back. Ever was not responding at all.

"Get Bella and Jade out of here," I shouted. "All of you go now," I hissed.

I gazed over my shoulder quickly. Paul nodded once and lifted Bella's body from the ground. The bullet had hit her. Rebecca held Jade in her arms as Emily clung to Sam. Sam motioned for Emily to go with Paul, Rebecca, and the pack. She was hesitant to leave him but she agreed.

"Take Bella home," I said and turned my attention back to Ever who was still life less. "Take her home and get her there safely."

"Safely," Rebecca shouted. "She's been shot. We have to get her to the hospital."

"Trust me, please," I said. "Now go. All of you."

I could hear their voices fade in the background. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sam run quickly in the direction of the house. He disappeared through the door quickly. I stood to my feet hovering over Ever's crippled body, "I'm going to kill you and fucking enjoy it," I hissed. "But first I have to tell you something. I never fucking loved you. Not even a little bit. You were always a selfish bitch. The day you left was the happiest day of my life. You know what I'm lying. I think today has that day beat."

I gazed up to see the figure walking closer to us. It seemed bigger from a distance but as it neared I could see it was...Alba. She paused a few feet away. Her eyes were black. They were so dark it nearly scared the shit out of. She pointed down at Ever and nodded. I glanced between the two of them. Ever's body burst into flames. She just laid there as the fire continued. It burned her from limb to limb. There were no screams or cries. It was just the smell of a blazing fire and flesh as I took a few steps back and gazed at Alba. She seemed to be enjoying the sight before her as a smirk danced at the corner of her lips.

I took a step closer to her but before I could reach her Alba's body collapsed to the ground. I quickly scooped her into my arms, nudging her with my nose in an effort to awake her. She was drained. Her thin body was pale and limp in my arms,

"Alba, sweetheart it's dad. Can you hear me? Baby come on please answer me. Alba please," I cried. The tears fell from my eyes as I continued to speak in her ear.

If my daughter did not make it I was uncertain what I would do.

**J.P.O.V**

Bella.

It all felt like a dream. As I gazed down at her lifeless body and caressed the skin of her cheek a few silent tears fell from my eyes. It had been so long since I touched her. My fingers traced the outline of her perfect shaped lips. I desperately wanted her to open those big beautiful brown eyes that I loved so much. I'd give anything for that. I had been kneeling in front of her lifeless body for what seemed to be hours. I wanted to be the first person that she saw when she woke up. The elephant in the room began to taunt me. Inside of my head, I continued to wonder when she would wake up but I had never thought of if she would wake up. She was not breathing after all. What if the spell Jeremy performed did not work? What if Bella was gone?

I couldn't think like that. I would not think like that. She could not be gone. The world did not make since without her in it. The tears stained my cheeks as I moved in closer and reached for her hand. Her skin was colder than mine as I held her hand tightly in mine, "Bells, you can't leave me here. Please, you have to come back to me. I need you."

It was just Bella and I alone inside of her bed room. The house was not empty. Everyone was here. We had an agreement that we would talk soon. I was not in the mood to talk tonight. The only thing I wanted was for everything to go back to the way that it was. I knew it would be a long time before that happened. I still had to deal with everything and I refused to lose Bella and Billy in one night. It had taken every ounce of strength inside of me not to fall to pieces.

I was trying to stay strong. But before I could get a hold of myself I was crying again. I was never the type to weep but seeing all the things that I experience had brought the tears out of me. It was all over. The curse, my pain, the loneliness had all come to an end. Everyone that I loved was in reaching distance but Billy. The thought of my dad caused me so much grief. I stood to my feet and began pacing back and forth. I was exhausted physically and mentally. I would not rest. I'd wait for her. I owed her that much.

**B.P.O.V**

We are always given a choice. In my life, I've always made the wrong choice when it came to the people that I loved. It was safe to say that I, Bella, was not a thinker. I was always a girl who took action first and asked questions later. That had always been my flaw. I sucked when it came to making decisions. I thought when I died it would be different. I thought it would take me by surprise but it did not. Death was peaceful. Sure, there was pain but after, there was peace. It was beautiful. I was free. My mind was free from all that had tainted it over the years.

A part of me did not want to go back. I wanted to stay like this forever.  
Eight years ago I thought my life was perfect. But I should have known that no one's life was perfect. We all go through hardships. Sometimes they make us stronger and other times we are defeated by them. We pick ourselves up from the ground time after time only to find ourselves back where we started.

I was free.I was safe from heartache and pain. I was surrounded by nothing or no one but myself. That was what I thought. I soon realized that I was not alone. My grandmother was here. Her face was soft and pale as I remembered. Her gray hair pulled back in a bun that accentuated her deep brown eyes. She was standing a away from me. It did not seem real until she smiled at me and held out her hand for me to take. I place my palm in her hand and she pulled me in for an embrace. My body clung to her tightly as I inhaled her scent. She still smelled of peppermint. That was how I remembered her from when I was a kid.

"Your here," I said. "With me. I missed you so much."

I pulled away from her so that I could gaze into her eyes. I found shelter in her arms. It had been that way before she passed away. My grandmother had always been there for me when she could. Maybe that was why she was here now. She was here because she could be. This loophole allowed her to be here for me.

"Bella, Dear," she said sincerely. "You have to go back."

"Why?" I asked. "I like it here. I'm free here. There is no pain. For the first time I feel like myself."

"Your forgetting," she said sadly. "This place does that to you. Soon you will forget everything that you want including the ones you love."

I let go of my grandmothers hand and took a step back, "You should be happy for me. I'm finally at peace."

"It's not your time," she stated simply. "Your running away again. What are you so afraid of? Everything is happening the way that you want it. Jacob is back. He's waiting for you."

I shook my head in dismissal of her comment, "He's not there. I don't want to wake up. I want to stay here with you forever."

"What about Jade?" she asked. "Your daughter. Are you going to leave her alone? She'll miss you. They all will."

"Jade?" I repeated after her. "I love Jade."

She smiled, "I know you do. You have to go back. It's not your time. I want you to stop running away from the people who love you the most."

"Grams?"

"Yes?"

"You did not come back," I said sadly.

"I know," she replied. "I lived my life. I was healthy for most of it and what a great life it was. I would not change it for the world. I'll always love you and your mother. I was a good mother to her and she was a good mother to you despite your differences. Now, I want you to go and be the best mother possible to Jade. She's going to need some sanity from what will become of her life. You'll be that for her. Bella, I'm very proud of you. I'll see you again but not too soon."  
I smiled as the tears fell from my eyes. There was a blinding light that caused me to shield my eyes. It all slowly came back to me. Ever, Jeremy, the fight, and ...

"Bella," I heard the familiar voice that brought new tears to my eyes. "Bells, can you hear me?"

I turned slightly and gripped the cool sheets in my hands in an attempt to push myself up on the bed. I opened my eyes slightly, "Jake."

A/N: Yay, Jacob is back. So to answer the question that I'm sure we all want to know is "Is Remember me finished?" That answer is no. There is so much more headed your way. Tell me what you think.


	19. Chapter 14 To mend a broken heart

A/N: Hey guys! So for starters I'd like to say that I do not own Twilight or it's characters. I am just a girl who enjoys putting SM's characters in different situations. I am the creator of Jade Black, Jeremy Crowe, Alba Crowe, and all future characters who are not familiar. There is adult language and content. You have been warned. This chapter introduces two new characters, Andre Tullman and Fiona Tullman. For a visual please refer back to the Character's page. Don't forget to vote for Remember me and other amazing stories in JBNP awards. Okay, lets be done with this author's note already Dawn:)

**Chapter Fourteen**

**J.P.O.V**

Bella gazed at me. Her eyes showing little emotion. She didn't say anything. She continued to look at me confused. I could imagine what was going through her head. Bella was probably waiting for me to vanish in thin air. I would not. I would never leave her again. My finger tips brushed a few stray hairs from her face. She gasped when my skin came into contact with her skin. The tears formed in her eyes. Those beautiful eyes that I loved so much were now telling me how afraid she was. I wanted to comfort her. As I took her hand into my own she pulled away.

That was not the reaction I were going for.

Bella moved away from me on the bed. I stood quickly to my feet. Her movements stilled at the opposite side of the bed and she closed her eyes for a moment.A few seconds later she opened them again.

"Bella."

"Don't do this to me," she sobbed. "I can't...I can't take it."

"Bells please," I begged as I walked around to the other side of the bed.

"Your not here," she cried hysterically.

"Yes I am. I'm never going to leave you ever again. I promise."

"Jake."

That was the last thing she said before her cries became unmanageable. Her sobs were like daggers to the heart. I rushed over to where she sat at the edge of the bed and took her into my arms. Bella did not respond but she did allow me to hold her. I positioned myself on the bed so that my back was resting against the head board. I cradled Bella in my arms, her head buried in my neck, and her tears soaking my skin.

I rubbed soothing circles on her lower back. Holding her in my arms, feeling her soft skin against mine was unreal. I thought I'd never get to hold her again. She smelled the same. Her skin felt the same. Even the steady beat of her heart was the same. I missed her so much. Words could not express just how much I missed being with Bella.

Tears threatened to spill from my eyes as Bella finally responded physically to me. Her tiny arms wound themselves around my torso. Her finger nails clenching and digging into the skin. I did not care. I barely noticed the pain as I pushed the hair away from the side of her face just to look at her. Bella's eyes were closed. Her breathing was steady and the grip she held on me was firm. I tried to move to be sure she was comfortable but a small whimper fell from her lips, "Don't go," she whispered,"Please."

"I'm not going anywhere," I replied and I kissed her cheek softly. "I'm here. Can you open your eyes and look at me?"

She shook her head no, "I'm afraid."

"You don't have to be. I need you to know that I'm really here with you. This is not a dream."

Bella kept her eyes closed. She needed more time I would give her all of the time she needed.

Bella remained in my arms. She had been sleep for quite sometime. Her arms were limp around me. Her breathing was leveled. Bella's lips were pressed against my neck. My attention was on her. My palms never stopped the soothing circles on her back. For the past eight years it felt as if I were sleeping. Now, I was awake. I did not want to miss a moment that could be spent holding her like this. There were so much that we had to talk about. I was not ready to discuss everything that I had been through. But knowing Bella, that would be the first thing that she would make me do.

A light knock at the bedroom door startled me. I shifted my attention as the door opened and Jade walked in. She was in her pajamas. Jade's eyes were red and her hair was pulled back away from her face. She paused a few feet away from the door. Jade gazed at Bella's still body in my arms and her sobs filled the air. The sound of Jade's cries caused Bella to stir in my arms but I held her to me. I was not ready to let her go.

"Is she gone like grandpa?" Jade sobbed. "I'm not ready for momma to go."

I patted the bed beside me. Jade walked over to where I was and climbed in the bed. She snuggled into my side. I wrapped my free arm around her, "It's alright princess. Your mother is just sleeping. Daddy want you to wipe your pretty little eyes of okay?"

Jade nodded and yawned, "I'm tired," she said.

"I know. You can rest now."

I watched as Jade's eyes fluttered shut. After a few moments of silence she whispered, "I hope your still here in the morning."

#

**S.P.O.V**

As I watched Paul and Rebecca, I could not help but notice it. He was different with her. Paul was always on edge. But as he help Rebecca in his arms I saw another side of him. He seemed gentle and attentive. I had never witnessed that with him.

The plan was to bring Jacob back and put an end to all of the heart-ace. But no one thought we would lose Billy. The Black's secret had destroyed Billy over the years. He was cold and had shut himself off from the world. I could remember who he was before Jacob disappeared. Billy had a beautiful soul. He loved hard and laughed harder. He'd taken care of his children on his own and each one of them turned out perfect.

Jake had been through a lot and the last thing we wanted was for him to go through this. When I found him tearful, afraid, and breathless on the floor I nearly cried with him. He was my best friend, the one person who knew me better then I knew myself. It had always been Jacob who had to come to my aid. It felt good to be his savor for once. The decision was mine to let Jacob and Bella have their time alone.

They both needed it. The rest of us would have no choice but to wait patiently until both Jacob and Bella were ready to talk. We all had been through a lot. It was time to rest now.

Rebecca's whimpers filled the air as Paul held on to her. He was lying back on the couch with Rebecca cradled against his chest. Paul was either to occupied to know that I was standing a few feet away or he just did not care that I was present. Neither one of them had acknowledged me. I sent the rest of the pack to check up on Leah and fill her in. They hesitantly agreed and Embry called to let me know that she was alright and that they would be over in the morning.

"Paul," Rebecca sobbed.

Yes?"

"Can you hold me tighter?" she asked quietly. "Please, just hold me tighter."

"Sure. Rebecca, you will get through this," he said. "Your father died in order to make things right for your family. I know nothing I'm saying will make you feel better but you have to know that he loved you."

"We only get one father and now mine is gone. I can't handle this," she sobbed.

Paul used his finger tips to adjust her face so that Rebecca was staring into his eyes, "You can handle this. Trust me, it's going to get better. When my parents died I thought my life was over. Their death has made me stronger. I figured if I could deal with a life without them I could deal with anything."

"How did you cope with it all?" she asked.

"I had distractions," he replied. "Some of them I'm not proud of but the point is I found other things in life to live for and you have so much to live for."

"I don't. I'm divorced with no children and currently staying with my brother's wife. I never envisioned my life being this way. I should have stayed in New York."

"Well, I'm glad you did not."

"Thank you for being here," she whispered.

"At this moment there isn't anywhere else I want to be."

Her sobs started again as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. I watched as Paul kissed the top of her head. He said nothing. There was not much that he could say. I decided I had spied on them long enough and went to the guest room. That was where I found Emily cradling a pillow. I stood in the archway of the door and gazed at her. She was still awake. Her attention shifted to me as I walked over to the bed. I kneeled down in front of her and caressed the side of her beautiful face.

"I'm sorry," I said to her.

Tears lingered in her eyes as she gazed back at me, "What are you apologizing for?" she asked quietly.

"For everything. I haven't been the best husband over the years and I want to apologize. There was just so much keeping me from the things that I truly want. After tonight, after everything that has happened I know what I need to do. I want a different life. I can't do this anymore."

Emily sat up in the bed, "Sam, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I want to give up phasing. I made this decision long ago but after Jacob disappeared I could not abandon the pack. I knew they would fall a part without me and Jacob. They've grown a lot. I don't have to protect them anymore."

"Your going to give up phasing?" she asked incredulously. "Why?"

"Because I want you. I want children. Some days I don't want to do anything but make love to you. I want a normal life and I'm going to do whatever I can to make that happen for us. We are not getting any younger and I don't want you to grow old without me. Whatever you want I need to be the one to give it to you. Whenever you need me I just want to be there. Being with you is the only obligation that I want from this day forward."

Emily smiled that beautiful smile of hers and moved closer resting her forehead against mine, "I'm so in love with you," she cooed. "Your really ready to have a child?"

I kissed her lips before climbing in the bed with her. Emily pulled me up to her as my lips hovered over hers. I smirked, "Who said anything about one child? I was thinking maybe two or three."

Before she could say anything else, my lips crashed onto hers. After everything that had transpired, all I needed was her. I just wanted to be loved by the only woman who could love me right.

#

**B.P.O.V**

When I woke up in Jacob's arms I watched his beautiful face for almost an hour. He was asleep with Jade curled into his side. I couldn't stop the tears that emerged from just a glance of him. Jacob being in my presence did not feel real. It felt like a dream. So many emotions dominated me at once. I wanted to wake him up and kiss him. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and how badly I missed him. But with every passing second I felt my anger resurface. Emotions were running rapid and it infuriated me that he could lay in my bed peacefully as if nothing had happened.

It had been eight years. Eight fucking miserable years of my life. I stood to my feet and began to pace back and forth. My body was shot physically. My knees were so weak I thought I'd fall to the floor at any minute. I ran a hand through my hair as the tears poured from my eyes.

How could he have done this to me?

The curse was not his fault but I still blamed him for my suffering. I spent seven years of my life believing that he walked out me, that I disgusted him. How could he have left me here to rot that way? There was no doubt in my mind that he loved me. I knew he'd move mountains if he could in order to make me happy. But that did not change anything. We took vows. I vowed to be there for him through sickness and health. I made those vows and Jacob stripped them away from me. He did not allow me to be there when he needed me the most. I was hurt and betrayed. All I ever wanted was to be there for him but he did not trust that I could.

I wanted a damn awnser to every question that I had and I wanted them now. I walked around to the other side of the bed and cradled Jade in my arms. Quietly, I left the room and took Jade to her own room where she continued to sleep peacefully. When I returned to the room Jacob was sitting up in the bed. I expected that much. He could always tell when I left the room. Sorrow flashed in his eyes as I glared him and folded my arms across my chest. There was so much I wanted to say. But I needed sometime to gather my thoughts. So we continued to gaze at each for what seemed like an eternity.

I was afraid to speak because I was so furious with him. The last thing that I wanted was to piss him off and have him take off on me again. Just the thought brought tears to my eyes. I'd always have that fear. The fear that I could wake up one day and Jacob could be gone again. My heart could not take that. Jacob was the light in our relationship. When he vanished everything went dark. I wiped the tears from my face with the back of my hand. Jacob sighed sadly and his attention shifted to the floor. He did not want to see me cry. My tears were something that he would now have to deal with. This was what his absence had done to me.

"I want you to look at me," I said to him.

He did not look at me and that just pissed me off further. I walked over and stood in front of him. His eyes pleaded with me silently as I gazed down at him. I had already forgiven him but it hurt my heart that he did not trust me. I should not have went through so much to find out the truth. He should have told me the truth eight years ago. It would not have changed the curse but I would not have thought that he abandoned me and his daughter. His silence were eating away at me. After everything that had happened I expected him to react differently. Before my brain could catch up with my body's actions I attempted to slap him. Jacob caught my wrist in hand. He stood to his feet and forced me closer to him.

"Why?" I was the only word that left my lips.

"I'm sorry Bells I-"

"I don't want an apology from you," I said. "I want the truth, Jacob."

"Bells-"

"When did you find out?" I asked. "About the curse. Was it before or after I told you that I was pregnant?"

"Well, technically before you told me but after I knew."

"What?" I asked confused. "Jake, that-"

"I heard you and Charlie talking about it. I shouldn't have eavesdropped but I couldn't help it. I just thought you were arguing about something irrelevant but then I heard you say that you were pregnant. I did not confront you because I wanted you to be the one to tell me but before you could Billy explained the curse to me."

"Why didn't you tell me about the curse?"

"It would not have changed anything. I thought if I walked out on you that you would get an abortion and go away to school. I just wanted you to be happy."

He wanted me to get rid of Jade. That hurt more than the fact that he lied to me.

I exhaled an angry breath as more tears fell from my eyes, "It would have change everything, Jake. I would have been different. I would have behaved differently. You could have told me the world was ending and I still would not have given Jade up. I'd never have an abortion and I can't believe you considered that."

"I wanted to do what was best for you," he shouted.

"And it amazes me that out of all the years we have known each other you still seem to miss what is actually best for me. Do you have any idea what you did to me Jacob?" I asked angrily.

"I do and I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you," he replied sadly. "I wanted you to move on. I did not want you to spend your life mourning me."

"I did and I never thought for a second that you were dead. You want to know what I thought Jacob? I thought I was not good enough for you. I thought you were done playing house with me and wanted something new. I was happy with you. I was happy with us and pregnant and then you bluntly told me that you did not want our child. You told me you wanted me to get rid of our baby. I know you thought you were helping me but did you ever consider that you fucked me up. You left me crying on the floor without a second glance," I sobbed. "You broke my heart and I had to live with that."

I was shaking. My chest heaving up and down as I took a step away from him and dropped my gaze. My head was spinning. My heart was heavy from reliving that awful day when Jacob walked out on me. I wanted to forget that dreadful day but I needed Jacob to understand what he did to me because if he ever did it again I would have nothing to do with him. Our relationship was far from mended. I was not ready to pretend that things were back to the way that we were because they were not. Yes, I loved him but I needed time. The trust that we had was destroyed. He had to earn that back. But more importantly there was a hole in my heart that only he could repair.

Jacob reached for my hand and pulled me back to him. Tears fell from his eyes as I pulled away. He sighed in frustration. Jacob did not like to fight with me. I knew that but he did not have a choice. Our relationship was broken and it would take a hell of a lot of work to piece it back together. He reached for my hand only to have me snatch away again.

"I can't hold your hand now?" he asked annoyed.

"No you can't," I replied. "I have more questions."

"I'm sure you do but just so you know I had to live with what I did to you too. I regretted what I said to you the moment those words fell from my lips. I did not mean any of it. We were young and my life was spiraling out of control."

"Yeah," I spat. "And you shut me completely out of it.

"Listen, Bells I'm sorry. I fucked up. I've known that since the day that I left you. I also know that your stubborn as hell so I don't expect you to forgive me easily. But I do expect you to give me sometime. I just watched my father die in front of me. I did not get to say goodbye to him or tell him that I love him and that hurt me so much. I just don't have the energy to fight with you, Bella. All I want is for you to believe me when I say that I am so sorry for all the harm that I caused you. I love you with all of my heart. You have to know that I mean that?" he pleaded.

"Jake-"

"I just want to hold you because when I do everything is right in the world. I just... god," he began to sob. I watched Jacob crumble to pieces in front of me.

As much as I wanted to get all of my anger out our issues seemed small as I watched the tears fall from his eyes. I wrapped my arms around him tightly. It took no time for his body reacted to mine. Jacob held onto me tightly, " I'm so sorry about, Billy. If there is anything that I can do to take some of the pain away just tell me ."

There was an awkward moment of silence before he pulled away and gazed into my eyes, " Can I kiss you?"

He did not really give me much time to respond before his lips were on mine. I wanted to object. It was much to soon but my body betrayed me as his lips molded perfectly into mine. His lips still felt the same. His kiss was passionate as it had always been. Our kisses started sweet, giving Jacob the freedom to murmur his words of affection between them. As always, every word that he said made me want him. I had been without him for so long I could not help it. Somewhere between my pleading and whimpering, Jacob had moved us back until we were on the bed. He was positioned between my thighs. His full weight engulfed me not giving me room to push him away. He peppered kisses from my jaw down to my neck as he sucked the skin there into his mouth.

I moaned as his tongue caressed my neck lovingly before biting down hard. I could feel what I was doing to him. God, I missed that so much. He began to thrust his hips creating friction which caused me to moan louder into his bare shoulder. His lips trailed back up mine and I kissed him. Jacob deepened our kiss. His hands trailed down my sides and he cupped my ass, squeezing tightly as he held me to him. I was on my back with Jacob between my thighs. His eyes pouring out his heart's desire as he place another chaste kiss upon my lips.

I turned my head to the side. The rational part of my taking control of the situation, "Jake, don't."

He whispered, "Bella, I need you. I need to feel you. This still feel like a dream to me."

"Jake, we can't..."

"We can. I want you. I need you, please?" He said before trying to kiss me again.

I turned my head to the opposite side again, panting, and dodging his kiss,"We have so much to work out. I'm still upset with you."

"You don't love me do you?" he said sadly. "I'm so stupid-"

"Jacob," I said seriously. "I want to make everything right between us first. I just want to be here with you."

It was so easy to get lost in Jacob and as much as I wanted lose myself in him we had been through so much. Jacob finally agreed with me before my body could betray me again. We stayed in bed. My back was pressed against his chest in a spooning position. His strong arms were wrapped tightly around me with both palms resting against my middle. His warmth suffocated me. I felt as if I was drowning in a sea of Jacob. I could tell that he was still awake. Jacob planted a few kisses against the back of my neck before whispering, "I love you so much that it hurts. I can't be without you again. Not being with you scares me more than anything else, Bella."

I turned in his arms so that we were face to face. I could see the fear lingering in his eyes as he gazed back at me, "Your not going to lose me."

"I feel like I already have," he said before closing his eyes. "And it's killing me."

**J.P.O.V (Jeremy)**

Beer was the perfect way to start the rest of my life. I could barely remove myself from the couch to check on Alba. In a way I did not want to. Going back into that room with her would destroy me all over again. I was a poor excuse for a father and my punishment was to face the rest of my life alone and in an alcoholic state. I deserved to suffer this way. If it were not for me, Ever would have never come here. She would not have harmed my daughter.

I felt like a lose canon. My body was in a drunken state as I reached for the half empty beer bottle on the table beside me. I placed the cool bottle at my lips and swallowed the numbing liquid all at once. It burned my throat to the core upon swallowing it. I no longer cared.

In the distance, I could hear the front door open and close. Someone was here and that pissed me off. I wanted to be alone. I did not need an audience to feel sorry for me. Fuck whoever decided to come here and talk some sence in to me. The past twenty four hours had been hell. I sat up slightly, my vision was a blur as I yelled, "Get the fuck out of my house."

I knew I locked the door.

There were two sets of foot steps approaching behind me. I was to intoxicated to function properly so I just collapsed back onto the couch, "You know what? stay. I really don't fucking care. Just keep away from the alcohol."

"The first thing I expected was to see you passed out," A female voice hissed. "When you called for help I did not realize you wanted help to pick your drunken ass up off the couch."

Fiona and Andre.

With all of the strength I had left in me, I managed to sit up and turned to face with. Fiona and her brother Andre were a part of my old coven. When I called them I did not expected for them to show up. Fiona was not exactly happy to hear my voice. I can't say that I blamed her. Back when we roamed together Ever and I were to selfish to appreciate anyone but each other. We turned our back on them without a second thought.

"Well," Fiona began. "Your even more fucked up then when you left the coven."  
Fiona was still the same. She was tall and slender. Her hair long, straight, dark brown, and rested at the middle of her back. Her deep brown eyes were shooting daggers at me as she walker closer and placed her hand on her hip. Andre nodded when my attention shifted to him. He had always been very laid back. Andre was smart and always left the talking and thinking to Fiona, his sister.

"I knew this was a bad idea," she snapped. "Your so messed up. How many fucking beers have you had?" she asked as she walked over to the couch and snatched the bottle from my grasp.

"Give that back," I shouted. "I need it."

"Do you do this for fun Jeremy?" she said angrily. "You were a junkie before and now your just a fucking alcoholic. I'm glad to see things haven't changed. You want help? Sorry to break the news to you buddy but we don't offer the help that you really need."

I watched as she turned to face Andre, " We came, we saw, and shit is still the same. I did not come here to babysit him."

"Fiona, just hear him out," Andre said. "Jeremy called and said he needed our help. If you want to leave go ahead. But I came here to help him."

She sighed annoyingly, "How are we related?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," he chuckled.

"Fiona," I slurred. "I'm...I'm sorry. Don't leave."

She turned to face me, "I'm not going anywhere. Andre is the only family that I have. I'm not turning my back on him. You, on the other hand are a fuck up. You take things for granted and think the whole world should fall at your feet. That explain after all of this time, why you are still alone. Look at you Jeremy. You are a mess. It's pathetic."

Tears formed in my eyes. She was right. I was a fuck up. I had fucked up my life and so many other lives as well. I lost my daughter and Bella. I had nothing. Tears fell from my eyes as I stumbled to my feet.

"Are you-"

"Just go," I stated. "I shouldn't have called. You can leave. It's not fair for me to drag you into this."

"Into what?" Andre asked.

"Your crying," Fiona interrupted in shock. "You need help?"

"My daughter," I muttered.

"You have a daughter?"

I nodded, "She's barely hanging on. I'm so sorry about how I left things between us. I'd give anything to take it all back. But I can't. I should not ask of you what I am about to but I don't know what else to do."

"Where is she?" Fiona asked. "What's wrong with her?"

"It's consumed her."


	20. Chapter 15 Ultimatums TEASER

**Playlist: Civil Twilight-Human, Hurts-Stay, Trading Yesterday-May I, James Blunt-Goodbye my lover, Hinder- Without you (Acoustic)**

**Author's note:** Hey guys! I can't believe I started this story over a year ago. I'm so grateful for all the feedback. I hope everyone had a great holiday and that you will continue this journey with me until the end. Per usual nothing is perfect in Bella and Jacob's world. This is just a teaser. It is rather long so I hope this will hold you over until I can deliver the full length. If you really listen to the playlist you'll get an idea of what will occur in this chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or it's characters. I do not receive compensation for this story or any other. No copyright infringement is intended. You know the spiel.

**Chapter Fifteen- Ultimatums**

Burying my father was one of the hardest things that I had to do. The day of the funeral was the day that Rebecca, Rachel, and I had to accept the truth. Rachel had been in town for a few days. She was a different person than what I could remember. Rebecca received a phone call from a startled Rachel claiming that her scars were gone. Rachel had separated herself from the family. She always felt like the ugly duckling because of the scars on her face and having Rebecca around did not quite help. Rebecca had always had the perfect life according to Rachel. She could not handle it so Rachel moved away. Rebecca moved prior to her, after being offered a job across the country. I had no reason to go anywhere. I was lucky. Everything I needed was in Forks which was not that far away from La push.

Having both of my sisters by my side made me feel as if things were going back to normal. I missed them so much. Rebecca was still loving and motherly. She made sure I remembered to put on a tie and iron my shirt. Rachel had formed a personality. She had always been beautiful to me but I could see the confidence forming with in her. She was still comforting. Rachel held my hand and gave me tissue to wipe my tears. I felt like a child again.

My relationship with Bella was more strained than ever. Her smile was not the same. The way she looked at me was not the same. Even the way she spoke my name just was not the same. It was becoming hard to deal with. I was debating on whether or not to move back into Billy's and give her some space. Maybe that was what she needed. Laying beside her at night did not feel right and it was not because I loved her less. It was because she was so afraid of me. That hurt me more than anything. Talking to her was frustrating. She was holding back. Every question was answered with yes or no. That's it. There were no explanations of what I could do to make this work. I was exhausted and honestly to tired to try harder. I'd never give up trying to get things back to the way that they were. I just wanted a moment to appreciate all that I was forced to give up long ago. That was hard because every time I looked at her I could see the tears lingering there. Something inside of her had died and that broke my heart.

"Jake?" Sam yelled.

"In here," I said quietly.

I was in Billy's room. Everything remained untouched. His room was exactly the way he left it. He had a medium sized room. The walls were cream and there was a full size bed positioned to the far right side of the bed. On the night stand, next to the bed was a picture of Rebecca, Rachel, and I. I walked over and picked up the picture. Rebecca and Rachel were teenagers. I was a boy. We all wore smiles. The picture brought back memories from my child hood.

There was a light knock at the door. I placed the picture back on the night stand and turned to see Sam standing in the archway. He wore a buttoned down striped shirt and khaki pants. I appreciated the fact that the entire pack actually dressed nicely for Billy's funeral. That meant alot to me. He deserved that level of respect. We decided to have everyone come back to Billy's. Bella and Leah made dinner. It was a great way to distract my sisters and I from the pain of losing our father. It felt good to see everyone.

"This room is still the same," Sam said, taking a step into the room.

"Yeah," I agreed. "It is exactly the same. It's nice to see that my dad never  
changed or that he never forgot me."

"He loved you. He could never forget you."

"I guess your right. I just wish that things could have ended differently."

"We all do," Sam admitted. "Billy gave up his life so that you could have one. What he did was brave. Don't let his sacrifice be for nothing."

I nodded in agreement.

"You know that I don't agree with the way you handled things eight years ago. But I will never hold that against you in any way. I forgave you. But not everyone know how or where to start when forgiving someone. This storm you are facing with Bella will pass eventually."

"I don't want to talk about that right now."

"I understand," he said somberly. " It's just really hard to watch you two. You already missed so much time together."

"Sam," I warned. "Today is just not the day...for that."

He nodded and turned to exit. Sam stole one last glance, "Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Just so you know," He began. "You said that yesterday and the day before that. I'm  
just wondering when you'll find time to really try and make it right. You can't use Billy's death as an excuse forever."

And with that he disappeared.

**B.P.O.V**

"Mommy," Jade chimed. She gazed up at me through her long lashes and smiled warmly.

I pulled Jade closer to me, "Yes?"

"Where's daddy?" she asked. I watched as Jade's attention shifted and skimmed the living room full of people in search of Jacob. Her eyes met mine again as she waited on an awnser, "He's around somewhere. Why don't you go and find him?"

"Are you going to be alright alone?" she asked worriedly.

I smiled, "Of course I will."

"Okay," She said as she hoped off of my lap and onto her feet. I watched as Jade disappeared in her pretty black velvet dress. My body relaxed into the couch and I sighed. No disrespect to Billy or Jacob's family but I wanted this day to be over.

I was overwhelmed with the crowd of people. I was overwhelmed in life in general.

The days seemed to run together like water. Jacob and I were still trying to fall back into what we were. It was easier said than done. Believe me, I wanted to just forget about everything and be with him. But my heart and my brain could not come to a mutual agreement at all. I knew what I wanted. I knew what we both deserved but I just couldn't find the strength to get over what had happened.

I felt partially responsible for what happened to Alba. Even though Jeremy and I could never be together in the way that he wanted, I still felt like I should have been there for him over the past few days. I just did not want to argue with Jacob about it. Jade and I had been in danger quite a few times in his absence and he was hell bent on making sure that we stayed out of trouble and unharmed. If I told him that I wanted to visit Jeremy just to see how he and Alba were doing, he would blow it all out of proportion. Jacob was not aware of just how deep my feelings were for Jeremy. Even if he knew how I felt, knowing that I love him more than Jeremy would do little to nothing with his insecurities. Insecure or not, I had to see Jeremy. I still considered him a friend. He had done a lot for me and the least I could do was try to be there. He had no family at all.

A hand on my shoulder startled me from my thoughts. I gazed up to see Leah and her huge belly standing beside me. She had a warm smile on her face, "It's getting pretty crowded in here. You want to go for a walk with me?" she smiled.

I nodded, "Yeah, just let me find Jade."

I stood to my feet and searched the room for my daughter.

"Your gonna have to get used to this huh?" Leah said to me.

I gazed over at her, " Used to what?"

"Jacob being here. She's fine Bella. He worries about her probably more than you  
's go for that walk."

I followed her out of the house and toward the beach. The weather was nice but windy. The sky was a darker shade of blue. The shade of blue that was similar to the way the sky looked after a major storm had passed. On our way down to the beach, we passed my father talking to Sue and Harry Clear water. Leah laughed at her mothers concern about her not going to close to the water as we slid off our shoes and our feet came into contact with the moist sand.

Leah and I walked in silence. I was exhausted mentally and enjoying the time away from the crowd of people. That was why Leah was my best friend. She understood me. She could sense my internal struggle and instead of willing me to forget Jeremy and just be happy with Jake, she did not choose a side. Leah was pretty much the only person that I could talk to.

"Can I ask you a question?" Leah asked.

I gazed over at her and smiled, " Sure, ask away."

"Why are you so angry at Jacob?"

I stopped for a minute to get a good look at her. Obviously, she could not be serious. Although the expression that she bared had shown just how serious she was.

"Your serious?" I asked in disbelief.

"Other than the fact that he lied to you eight years ago, why are you so angry with him?"

"Leah-" I began.

"Are you going to awnser the question?" she asked annoyed.

"No," I shouted. "I'm not. You of all people should understand why I'm upset."

"Bella, I get why your upset. But that is not what I'm asking you. I'm asking you,  
why are you so angry with him? He's apologized to you. He has not left your side for a moment since he's been back. I'll admit your trying which is a stretch for you, but your not trying hard enough. Do you want to know what I think?" she continued.

"Fucking fill me in, Leah. I'd love to know your personal thoughts on my marriage and home life," I bellowed angrily.

She smirked, "Good, because I'm going to give this to you straight and hope that you take consideration of what I'm saying and stop torturing yourself with thoughts of what could have been. You wanted Jacob back. Now, you have him. So what is the problem Bella? What are you so afraid of?"

I felt the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I could always count on Leah to force the truth out of me. As much as I hate to admit what was really going on with me, I knew that I had to. Maybe it would help, maybe.

"I- I still love him," I said shakily. "I thought that would change. I thought seeing Jacob again would force my feelings away but it hasn't. I feel guilty, Leah. That's what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm betraying Jacob. I love them both and I can't help that I still want Jeremy to be apart of my life. It's killing me."

"Bella-"

"I've been so worried and I want to be there for Jeremy the way that he was there for me. But I don't know how to be there without hurting Jacob."

"Bella your human. Feelings don't just go away. Even Jacob knows that you. But pushing Jacob away wont help the situation. You have to talk to him and explain what your feeling otherwise he'll make his own assumptions. That is the last thing that you want. Jeremy was there for you when you were broken. If anyone should understand, it would be Jacob."

I wiped a few tears from my face as I contemplated on taking Leah's advice. I wanted to do that. I wanted to explain to Jacob why he should allow me to see Jeremy. But where would I begin? How could I possibly explain to my husband why he should allow me to be there for my ex? An ex who was my boyfriend less than a few months ago. There was no way Jacob would go for that. He was already so insecure and wouldn't leave my side for less than a few moments. I felt responsible for making him that way. Every time I gazed into his eyes I could see the pain. He seemed just as afraid as I was. Being together was new again. As much as I longed to have him with me, secretly I was petrified.

"I don't know, Leah," I said confused. "The last thing I want is to fight with

Jacob and I don't want him to fight with Jeremy. This so hard."

"You want to be with Jacob?" she asked.

"More than anything in the world," I said.

"Show him," she ordered. "Your gonna have to let him in Bella. You have to tell him what you want. If that is to be best friends with Jeremy then so be it. If he doesn't trust you, then you both have bigger issues to deal with than Jeremy."

Leah and I decided to head back to Billy's. Talking to her helped soothe me more than I thought. Jacob and I were holding back so much. He had yet to explain to me what he went through when he disappeared for eight years. I wanted to know what truly happened to him more than anything. I needed him to open up to me. I just did't want to push because he was still dealing with Billy's death. On the other hand, I was being hypocritical. Lately, I was pretending that Jeremy never existed. But he did exist and he was a huge part of my life. He was a part of my life that I was keeping from Jacob. He knew that we were together but he had no idea of how strong my feelings were for him.

My feelings for Jeremy was not something that I cared to discuss with him. The last thing Jacob would want to hear is my confessions of love for another man. I did not want to put him through that after so much time we had lost. But I couldn't keep anything from him without creating a distance between us. I just hoped knowing that I chose him and loved him more would be enough.

Leah and I had just about reached Billy's when I heard Jacob's laugh fill the air. I hadn't heard his laugh in so long. I missed it. My gaze shifted to the front porch where Jacob was standing as he held Jade. That's when I noticed her. The dark ringlet curls, long legs cover in a barely there skirt, and flawless skin. I heard her voice. It was alto and faint. I could barely make out what they were saying. Leah grabbed my arm before I could move another inch.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I hissed. "What the hell is she doing here?"

"Paul must have told her. She is his cousin," Leah said matter of factly.

I snatched my arm from her grip and folded my arms across my chest, "She doesn't need to be here."

"Billy liked Nicole," Leah told me. "It is not that deep."

I scolded her before rolling my eyes.

"Bella, relax. Your misses Jacob Black. Don't let her being here bother you."

"She doesn't bother me," I retorted. "But Jake and I are going through enough shit as is. The last thing I need is Nicole and her fatty boobs pushing up on him."

"Your his imprint," Leah stated. "He doesn't see her that way."

"And he is mine but I still love my ex which says a lot don't ya think?"

"He imprinted on you. Not the other way around. Your feelings are not restricted like his."

I turned my attention back to them. Nicole was smiling at Jade. She even reached out and twirled a lose strain of her hair. I felt the horns forming at the top of my head. She had no right touching my daughter or making googly eyes at my husband. If it were not for Leah keeping me sane, I would have lost it. Nicole was always a bitch to me. She used to stay with Paul and his family on the reservation before Paul's parents died. After that, Nicole took off. What she and Jacob once had was just puppy love. Jacob and I had the real thing. But that did not change the fact that I still hated her. She was older which somehow made her believe she was wiser than I was. She was taller with bigger boobs and that made her believe she was miss America. I thought I'd never see her again.

I tried to proceed forward but Leah gripped my arm again.

"Bella, let it go. This is not the time or place for drama."

"Fine," I hissed.

Leah and waited for fifteen minutes before Nicole decided to go inside. I was beyond pissed. I barely got five minutes of conversation from him these days and Nicole could get fifteen minutes of his time. I could admit I was being a little immature. It didn't matter what they were talking about. All that mattered was that I had been begging for him to talk to me, for him to make this right. Each time I came up short. He owed me an explanation. Nicole, he owed nothing.

I stormed up the steps with Leah in tow and nearly snatched Jade from him. Leah continued pass us. My guess was that she wanted nothing to do with the situation. I was exhausted and mentally frustrated. There way too many people and emotions running rapid. I did not wish to disrespect Billy so I thought it would be best if I left before I could run into Nicole.

Jacob looked at me confused. After a moment, I could tell that he sensed my frustration and he willingly handed Jade over to me.

"Something wrong?" he leaned forward and whispered.

"I can't be here right now," I muttered. His eyes held my gaze. With each passing second my confidence was fading. I wanted to leave but something inside was holding me there.

"I need you here," he pleaded with me. "Bells, I need you."

"I know," I sighed. "Jacob I don't know how much longer we can both do this."

"Let's not do this right now," He said quietly.

I ignored his request. Jade was not paying attention to our quiet conversation so I continued,"I want you to talk to me. If you can't find the strength to that for me, after all that I've been through, then maybe you should just stay here until you can."

"I want to be with you," he pleaded.

"Prove it. Let me in. Please."

"Okay," Jacob said. He reached for my hand and squeezed gently, "Let me say goodbye and we will leave together."

"I can't ask you to do that," I said to him.

"You don't have to. I just want to be with you."

"Are we leaving?" Jade yawned.

"Someone is sleepy," Jacob cooed and kissed her cheek. "You want to come say goodbye with daddy?"

"Please."

Jacob and Jade went inside. I decided to wait for them outside on the porch. Attempting to sort my thoughts, I closed my eyes for a few moments. That was until I heard that dreadful voice.

"Bella," Nicole said. "Is that you?"

I turned slightly, "The last time that I checked."

She embraced me, "How are you? It's so good to see you again."

"Like wise."

I gazed over her form before meeting her eager gaze again. Nicole was the same. A little older, but still the same.

"I hardly recognized you. You have cleavage now," she cackled.

I shrugged, "The perks of having a child. Speaking of children, do you have any?"

"Nope," she smiled. "But I do want four children. I guess I'd better start my baby making process soon. I met your beautiful daughter. She's such a sweetheart. Jade is a splitting image of Jacob."

"She is," I smiled at the thought of my little girl and her handsome father. "I'm one lucky woman."

"Very lucky in deed. Well, it was nice chatting with you Bella. Let's do this again soon," she said, walking around me and down the steps.

"Not too soon," I mumbled under my breath.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	21. Chapter 15 Ultimatums

**Playlist: Civil Twilight-Human, Hurts-Stay, Trading Yesterday-May I, James Blunt-Goodbye my lover, Hinder- Without you (Acoustic)**

**Author's note:** Hey guys! I can't believe I started this story over a year ago. I'm so grateful for all the feedback. I hope everyone had a great holiday and that you will continue this journey with me until the end. Per usual nothing is perfect in Bella and Jacob's world. This is just a teaser. It is rather long so I hope this will hold you over until I can deliver the full length. If you really listen to the playlist you'll get an idea of what will occur in this chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or it's characters. I do not receive compensation for this story or any other. No copyright infringement is intended. You know the spiel.

**Chapter Fifteen- Ultimatums**

J.P.O.V

My feet hammered against the soil as I picked up my stride. I'm was unsure if I'd be able to phase and I really needed to. Phasing had always been a stress reliever for me. Phasing gave me time to be away from Bella especially when we had a disagreement. Trust me, the walls of separate rooms were not enough to take my mind off of her. So I found myself treading in the woods pleading to whatever being above to help take the pain away. It felt as if my skin was breaking. The pain, guilt, and heartache made it impossible to be strong. Lately, I felt weaker than I ever had. It didn't matter how much I focused on phasing it would not happen.

I slowed down to catch my breath, leaning my back firmly against the solid exterior of the tree. I clenched my fists tightly and slid down onto the ground. The tree left a burning sensation in it's wake. I closed my eyes and let out an agitated sigh. That was until I heard movement just beyond the trees. My eyes searched the misty clearing,

"Is someone there?"

Silence. I rose to my feet painstakingly slow, "Is someone out there?"

The movement stopped. After a few moments I turned back to my original path and picked up the pace again. I had to be back at the house to prepare for my father's funeral. The time had come far to soon but I knew that burying him was something that I had to do. His soul needed peace. After the funeral he'd have that. Billy could now be stress free. All of his children were happy, healthy, and together at last. My dad didn't have a dying wish but I could imagine that it would have been to see his children united and to see me become the father I needed to be for Jade. That thought made me smile and I was positive that Billy, wherever he may be, was looking down upon us with a smile on his face.

Burying my father was one of the hardest things that I had to do. The day of the funeral was the day that Rebecca, Rachel, and I had to accept the truth. Rachel had been in town for a few days. She was a different person than what I could remember. Rebecca received a phone call from a startled Rachel claiming that her scars were gone. Rachel had separated herself from the family. She always felt like the ugly duckling because of the scars on her face and having Rebecca around did not quite help. Rebecca had always had the perfect life according to Rachel. She could not handle it so Rachel moved away. Rebecca moved prior to her, after being offered a job across the country. I had no reason to go anywhere. I was lucky. Everything I needed was in Forks which was not that far away from La push.

Having both of my sisters by my side made me feel as if things were going back to normal. I missed them so much. Rebecca was still loving and motherly. She made sure I remembered to put on a tie and iron my shirt. Rachel had formed a personality. She had always been beautiful to me but I could see the confidence forming with in her. She was still comforting. Rachel held my hand and gave me tissue to wipe my tears. I felt like a child again.

My relationship with Bella was more strained than ever. Her smile was not the same. The way she looked at me was not the same. Even the way she spoke my name just was not the same. It was becoming hard to deal with. I was debating on whether or not to move back into Billy's and give her some space. Maybe that was what she needed. Laying beside her at night did not feel right and it was not because I loved her less. It was because she was so afraid of me. That hurt me more than anything. Talking to her was frustrating. She was holding back. Every question was answered with yes or no. That's it. There were no explanations of what I could do to make this work. I was exhausted and honestly to tired to try harder. I'd never give up trying to get things back to the way that they were. I just wanted a moment to appreciate all that I was forced to give up long ago. That was hard because every time I looked at her I could see the tears lingering there. Something inside of her had died and that broke my heart.

"Jake?" Sam yelled.

"In here," I said quietly.

I was in Billy's room. Everything remained untouched. His room was exactly the way he left it. He had a medium sized room. The walls were cream and there was a full size bed positioned to the far right side of the bed. On the night stand, next to the bed was a picture of Rebecca, Rachel, and I. I walked over and picked up the picture. Rebecca and Rachel were teenagers. I was a boy. We all wore smiles. The picture brought back memories from my child hood.

There was a light knock at the door. I placed the picture back on the night stand and turned to see Sam standing in the archway. He wore a buttoned down striped shirt and khaki pants. I appreciated the fact that the entire pack actually dressed nicely for Billy's funeral. That meant alot to me. He deserved that level of respect. We decided to have everyone come back to Billy's. Bella and Leah made dinner. It was a great way to distract my sisters and I from the pain of losing our father. It felt good to see everyone.

"This room is still the same," Sam said, taking a step into the room.

"Yeah," I agreed. "It is exactly the same. It's nice to see that my dad never  
changed or that he never forgot me."

"He loved you. He could never forget you."

"I guess your right. I just wish that things could have ended differently."

"We all do," Sam admitted. "Billy gave up his life so that you could have one. What he did was brave. Don't let his sacrifice be for nothing."

I nodded in agreement.

"You know that I don't agree with the way you handled things eight years ago. But I will never hold that against you in any way. I forgave you. But not everyone know how or where to start when forgiving someone. This storm you are facing with Bella will pass eventually."

"I don't want to talk about that right now."

"I understand," he said somberly. " It's just really hard to watch you two. You already missed so much time together."

"Sam," I warned. "Today is just not the day...for that."

He nodded and turned to exit. Sam stole one last glance, "Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Just so you know," He began. "You said that yesterday and the day before that. I'm  
just wondering when you'll find time to really try and make it right. You can't use Billy's death as an excuse forever."

And with that he disappeared.

B.P.O.V

"Mommy," Jade chimed. She gazed up at me through her long lashes and smiled warmly.

I pulled Jade closer to me, "Yes?"

"Where's daddy?" she asked. I watched as Jade's attention shifted and skimmed the living room full of people in search of Jacob. Her eyes met mine again as she waited on an awnser, "He's around somewhere. Why don't you go and find him?"

"Are you going to be alright alone?" she asked worriedly.

I smiled, "Of course I will."

"Okay," She said as she hoped off of my lap and onto her feet. I watched as Jade disappeared in her pretty black velvet dress. My body relaxed into the couch and I sighed. No disrespect to Billy or Jacob's family but I wanted this day to be over.

I was overwhelmed with the crowd of people. I was overwhelmed in life in general.

The days seemed to run together like water. Jacob and I were still trying to fall back into what we were. It was easier said than done. Believe me, I wanted to just forget about everything and be with him. But my heart and my brain could not come to a mutual agreement at all. I knew what I wanted. I knew what we both deserved but I just couldn't find the strength to get over what had happened.

I felt partially responsible for what happened to Alba. Even though Jeremy and I could never be together in the way that he wanted, I still felt like I should have been there for him over the past few days. I just did not want to argue with Jacob about it. Jade and I had been in danger quite a few times in his absence and he was hell bent on making sure that we stayed out of trouble and unharmed. If I told him that I wanted to visit Jeremy just to see how he and Alba were doing, he would blow it all out of proportion. Jacob was not aware of just how deep my feelings were for Jeremy. Even if he knew how I felt, knowing that I love him more than Jeremy would do little to nothing with his insecurities. Insecure or not, I had to see Jeremy. I still considered him a friend. He had done a lot for me and the least I could do was try to be there. He had no family at all.

A hand on my shoulder startled me from my thoughts. I gazed up to see Leah and her huge belly standing beside me. She had a warm smile on her face, "It's getting pretty crowded in here. You want to go for a walk with me?" she smiled.

I nodded, "Yeah, just let me find Jade."

I stood to my feet and searched the room for my daughter.

"Your gonna have to get used to this huh?" Leah said to me.

I gazed over at her, " Used to what?"

"Jacob being here. She's fine Bella. He worries about her probably more than you  
's go for that walk."

I followed her out of the house and toward the beach. The weather was nice but windy. The sky was a darker shade of blue. The shade of blue that was similar to the way the sky looked after a major storm had passed. On our way down to the beach, we passed my father talking to Sue and Harry Clear water. Leah laughed at her mothers concern about her not going to close to the water as we slid off our shoes and our feet came into contact with the moist sand.

Leah and I walked in silence. I was exhausted mentally and enjoying the time away from the crowd of people. That was why Leah was my best friend. She understood me. She could sense my internal struggle and instead of willing me to forget Jeremy and just be happy with Jake, she did not choose a side. Leah was pretty much the only person that I could talk to.

"Can I ask you a question?" Leah asked.

I gazed over at her and smiled, " Sure, ask away."

"Why are you so angry at Jacob?"

I stopped for a minute to get a good look at her. Obviously, she could not be serious. Although the expression that she bared had shown just how serious she was.

"Your serious?" I asked in disbelief.

"Other than the fact that he lied to you eight years ago, why are you so angry with him?"

"Leah-" I began.

"Are you going to awnser the question?" she asked annoyed.

"No," I shouted. "I'm not. You of all people should understand why I'm upset."

"Bella, I get why your upset. But that is not what I'm asking you. I'm asking you,  
why are you so angry with him? He's apologized to you. He has not left your side for a moment since he's been back. I'll admit your trying which is a stretch for you, but your not trying hard enough. Do you want to know what I think?" she continued.

"Fucking fill me in, Leah. I'd love to know your personal thoughts on my marriage and home life," I bellowed angrily.

She smirked, "Good, because I'm going to give this to you straight and hope that you take consideration of what I'm saying and stop torturing yourself with thoughts of what could have been. You wanted Jacob back. Now, you have him. So what is the problem Bella? What are you so afraid of?"

I felt the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I could always count on Leah to force the truth out of me. As much as I hate to admit what was really going on with me, I knew that I had to. Maybe it would help, maybe.

"I- I still love him," I said shakily. "I thought that would change. I thought seeing Jacob again would force my feelings away but it hasn't. I feel guilty, Leah. That's what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm betraying Jacob. I love them both and I can't help that I still want Jeremy to be apart of my life. It's killing me."

"Bella-"

"I've been so worried and I want to be there for Jeremy the way that he was there for me. But I don't know how to be there without hurting Jacob."

"Bella your human. Feelings don't just go away. Even Jacob knows that you. But pushing Jacob away wont help the situation. You have to talk to him and explain what your feeling otherwise he'll make his own assumptions. That is the last thing that you want. Jeremy was there for you when you were broken. If anyone should understand, it would be Jacob."

I wiped a few tears from my face as I contemplated on taking Leah's advice. I wanted to do that. I wanted to explain to Jacob why he should allow me to see Jeremy. But where would I begin? How could I possibly explain to my husband why he should allow me to be there for my ex? An ex who was my boyfriend less than a few months ago. There was no way Jacob would go for that. He was already so insecure and wouldn't leave my side for less than a few moments. I felt responsible for making him that way. Every time I gazed into his eyes I could see the pain. He seemed just as afraid as I was. Being together was new again. As much as I longed to have him with me, secretly I was petrified.

"I don't know, Leah," I said confused. "The last thing I want is to fight with

Jacob and I don't want him to fight with Jeremy. This so hard."

"You want to be with Jacob?" she asked.

"More than anything in the world," I said.

"Show him," she ordered. "Your gonna have to let him in Bella. You have to tell him what you want. If that is to be best friends with Jeremy then so be it. If he doesn't trust you, then you both have bigger issues to deal with than Jeremy."

Leah and I decided to head back to Billy's. Talking to her helped soothe me more than I thought. Jacob and I were holding back so much. He had yet to explain to me what he went through when he disappeared for eight years. I wanted to know what truly happened to him more than anything. I needed him to open up to me. I just did't want to push because he was still dealing with Billy's death. On the other hand, I was being hypocritical. Lately, I was pretending that Jeremy never existed. But he did exist and he was a huge part of my life. He was a part of my life that I was keeping from Jacob. He knew that we were together but he had no idea of how strong my feelings were for him.

My feelings for Jeremy was not something that I cared to discuss with him. The last thing Jacob would want to hear is my confessions of love for another man. I did not want to put him through that after so much time we had lost. But I couldn't keep anything from him without creating a distance between us. I just hoped knowing that I chose him and loved him more would be enough.

Leah and I had just about reached Billy's when I heard Jacob's laugh fill the air. I hadn't heard his laugh in so long. I missed it. My gaze shifted to the front porch where Jacob was standing as he held Jade. That's when I noticed her. The dark ringlet curls, long legs cover in a barely there skirt, and flawless skin. I heard her voice. It was alto and faint. I could barely make out what they were saying. Leah grabbed my arm before I could move another inch.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I hissed. "What the hell is she doing here?"

"Paul must have told her. She is his cousin," Leah said matter of factly.

I snatched my arm from her grip and folded my arms across my chest, "She doesn't need to be here."

"Billy liked Nicole," Leah told me. "It is not that deep."

I scolded her before rolling my eyes.

"Bella, relax. Your misses Jacob Black. Don't let her being here bother you."

"She doesn't bother me," I retorted. "But Jake and I are going through enough shit as is. The last thing I need is Nicole and her fatty boobs pushing up on him."

"Your his imprint," Leah stated. "He doesn't see her that way."

"And he is mine but I still love my ex which says a lot don't ya think?"

"He imprinted on you. Not the other way around. Your feelings are not restricted like his."

I turned my attention back to them. Nicole was smiling at Jade. She even reached out and twirled a lose strain of her hair. I felt the horns forming at the top of my head. She had no right touching my daughter or making googly eyes at my husband. If it were not for Leah keeping me sane, I would have lost it. Nicole was always a bitch to me. She used to stay with Paul and his family on the reservation before Paul's parents died. After that, Nicole took off. What she and Jacob once had was just puppy love. Jacob and I had the real thing. But that did not change the fact that I still hated her. She was older which somehow made her believe she was wiser than I was. She was taller with bigger boobs and that made her believe she was miss America. I thought I'd never see her again.

I tried to proceed forward but Leah gripped my arm again.

"Bella, let it go. This is not the time or place for drama."

"Fine," I hissed.

Leah and waited for fifteen minutes before Nicole decided to go inside. I was beyond pissed. I barely got five minutes of conversation from him these days and Nicole could get fifteen minutes of his time. I could admit I was being a little immature. It didn't matter what they were talking about. All that mattered was that I had been begging for him to talk to me, for him to make this right. Each time I came up short. He owed me an explanation. Nicole, he owed nothing.

I stormed up the steps with Leah in tow and nearly snatched Jade from him. Leah continued pass us. My guess was that she wanted nothing to do with the situation. I was exhausted and mentally frustrated. There way too many people and emotions running rapid. I did not wish to disrespect Billy so I thought it would be best if I left before I could run into Nicole.

Jacob looked at me confused. After a moment, I could tell that he sensed my frustration and he willingly handed Jade over to me.

"Something wrong?" he leaned forward and whispered.

"I can't be here right now," I muttered. His eyes held my gaze. With each passing second my confidence was fading. I wanted to leave but something inside was holding me there.

"I need you here," he pleaded with me. "Bells, I need you."

"I know," I sighed. "Jacob I don't know how much longer we can both do this."

"Let's not do this right now," He said quietly.

I ignored his request. Jade was not paying attention to our quiet conversation so I continued,"I want you to talk to me. If you can't find the strength to that for me, after all that I've been through, then maybe you should just stay here until you can."

"I want to be with you," he pleaded.

"Prove it. Let me in. Please."

"Okay," Jacob said. He reached for my hand and squeezed gently, "Let me say goodbye and we will leave together."

"I can't ask you to do that," I said to him.

"You don't have to. I just want to be with you."

"Are we leaving?" Jade yawned.

"Someone is sleepy," Jacob cooed and kissed her cheek. "You want to come say goodbye with daddy?"

"Please."

Jacob and Jade went inside. I decided to wait for them outside on the porch. Attempting to sort my thoughts, I closed my eyes for a few moments. That was until I heard that dreadful voice.

"Bella," Nicole said. "Is that you?"

I turned slightly, "The last time that I checked."

She embraced me, "How are you? It's so good to see you again."

"Like wise."

I gazed over her form before meeting her eager gaze again. Nicole was the same. A little older, but still the same.

"I hardly recognized you. You have cleavage now," she cackled.

I shrugged, "The perks of having a child. Speaking of children, do you have any?"

"Nope," she smiled. "But I do want four children. I guess I'd better start my baby making process soon. I met your beautiful daughter. She's such a sweetheart. Jade is a splitting image of Jacob."

"She is," I smiled at the thought of my little girl and her handsome father. "I'm one lucky woman."

"Very lucky in deed. Well, it was nice chatting with you Bella. Let's do this again soon," she said, walking around me and down the steps.

"Not too soon," I mumbled under my breath.

After tucking Jade into bed, I decided to go and talk to Bella. I was a bit hesitant. Talking to Bella was something that I had been putting off. I wasn't doing it intentionally to hurt her. I just wanted to forget what I had been through. Re living those endless nights of being without my family was not something that I wished to do. I didn't think that talking about my feelings would help. I just wanted be and to be the husband and father that I needed to be. I wanted to put the those eight years of my life in a box under lock and key. Of course I understood where Bella was coming from. She just wanted to help me through this as best as she could. But reliving those hurtful years was not the way to fix me or our life. I just wanted her to understand that.

I found Bella standing quietly on the back porch. I stood in the archway of the back door and watched her for a few moments. Her attention was focused on the sky above. The sky was just a mix of darkness and a full moon. It seemed to hold her attention longer than normal. It was hard not to wonder what she was thinking about. But before I could worry myself with what sort of thoughts were occupying her at the moment, her beautiful voice filled the air, "I can't do this."

"Bells-" I choked. My eyes fogged as I tried to think of something to say. I tried to formulate some words that would express how I felt and console her.

Bella turned to face me. It was evident that she had been crying. Her eyes were puffy and red. She seemed almost inhuman standing in the moon light. Her brown locks of hair blowing in the cool wind as she took a step closer to me and folded her arms over her chest, "I've tried, Jacob. I've tried to fall back into the way that we were but it's so hard. I don't know what to make of us anymore."

Her lips shook as she spoke.

"I know how hard this is for both of us. I know that you want me to open up and talk to you. Trust me, I am wide open. Everything is right here for you to see. But the past eight years is something that I want to put behind me. I don't want to speak of it. I don't want to think of what it's like to be without you. I don't want to go through that again," I pleaded.

Bella blew out another agitated breath as the tears fell from her eyes, "It isn't about just opening up to me."

"Well, what is it about," I asked raising my voice slightly. "Why can't we just let this be?"

"Because you made a mistake," she cried. "You have no idea just how perfect you were to me. Jake you were flawless. I did not feel that I deserved to be be with someone like you. It never made much sense to me. You have no idea of what it's like to have the one person that you look up to, the one person that you love more than yourself, break your heart."

"Pushing you away and walking out on you was the biggest mistake that I ever made. But we all make mistakes sometimes and I know what it feels like to have the one person that I love more than myself break my heart."

"I never hurt you," she yelled esparatedly.

"You hurt me the moment you fell in love with someone else," I admitted. "I don't blame you for that at all because I was not here to be the man that you needed but that hurt me more than anything. It still haunt me now. You think I don't know what your feeling? I do. I know you better than anyone in this world and I know that your torn. But I don't want you to be that way anymore."

"Your mistake ruined lives. It ruined my life. Mine!" Every time she spoke of pain and the fact that I ruined her life made my heartache. It was hard not to flinch at the mention of grief that I caused Bella. "And I won't apologize for anything that I did while you were gone."

"I'm not asking you to. Bells, I'm sorry," I shouted as the tears formed in my eyes. "How many times do I have to say it?"

"As many times that it will take in order to get me to believe you," she cried.

Realization struck me as Bella's words sank in. She didn't believe that I felt bad about what I had done. She didn't believe that I'd take it all back if I could.

"I thought nothing would hurt me more than being without you," she sobbed. "But having you here now hurt me more. It hurt because I'm constantly reminded of that pain, Jake. I love you so much and I could never hurt you. But it was so easy for you to walk away from me, to hurt me that way.I just...I can't do this. I don't want to feel this way anymore," Bella said as she pushed pass me in an attempt to get into the house.

It took me a few moments to absorb what she had just said and what those very words could have meant. Bella was only a few feet away from me when I rushed behind her, reaching out to her and grasping her shoulders. I spun her around to face me. Bella was not making much of an attempt to remove herself from me so I took a step closer. My right hand moved from her shoulder to take it's rightful place at her waist. Bella's glossy eyes met mine and held my attention for a few moments. She flinched when my left hand swept across her bottom lip and resided at her chin, tilting her head up to mine. I stared into her eyes. The emotion in

Bella's eyes shown me just how much I hurt her. She was broken. Her heart completely shattered so much so that it seemed there was not much of it left to give to me or anyone else. Seeing Bella like this made me ache in a way that I never had before.

I cradled her face in both of my hands. My lips were just seconds away from hers as she inhaled a shaky breath, "Ive made a lot of ignorant decisions in my life. One of them being the day that I walked away from you and our unborn child. That hurt me so much but nothing compares to seeing you this way. Tell me what you want me to do? Tell me what you need me to do in order to make this right? I'll do anything for you and if that means giving you space I'll do it."

"Why?" she whispered. "It's going to hurt you more than it will hurt me. Why would you do that?"

"Because I love you more than anything in this world," I said honestly.

"And you love me enough to let me go?" she asked.

"I'd let you go as many times as I need to in order to see you happy," I replied sadly.

Bella grew quiet. Her face shown no emotion and that scared the hell out of me. Then she did what I least expected her to do. Bella lips crashed down onto mine. I stood there in complete shock. A moment ago she had been willing to walk away from me. Bella was ready to throw away everything that we had. It took a few moments to adjust to what was occurring. But as soon as I did things were intense. Bella's body relaxed against mine as her hands led a trail up my abs, onto my shoulders, and relaxed at the nape of my neck. The walls she had formed around herself to keep from me began to crash and burn. She sighed as my tongue invaded her mouth and sought out her own. Bella stood on the tips of her toes in order to keep the pace of our heated kisses. My hands traveled down the swell of her ass and to the back of her thighs as I lifted her. Her legs tightly gripped my waist. I moved us back a little until her back came in contact with the firm wall behind us.

My need for Bella was overwhelming as I pressed into her. She gasped and removed her lips from mine to catch her breath. My mouth trailed open mouth kissed down her neck as I stopped to caress the skin with my tongue. She moaned slightly as I nipped as sucked until she was whimpering. My hands held her body against the wall as my fingers dug into the tender flesh of her waist. Bella's red and lust filled eyes met mine again when I pulled away slightly in attempt to make sure this was what she really wanted.

"Bells-"

"Please," she whimpered. "I forgive you."

"Why?" I asked her. "It's that simple?"

"Nothing between us will ever be simple," she spoke softly. "I'm madly in love with you, Jacob Black. Time hasn't changed that. Just promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Never leave me again and never let me walk away from you, from this."

"Deal."

"Now, please just make love to me," she begged. "I can't wait any longer."

B.P.O.V

Jake parted his lips, his soft pink tongue glided against my bottom lip begging to taste me. I opened my mouth inviting him in, his tongue tasted like sweet succulent heaven. A moan escaped him; I felt a deep rumble, almost like a growl, in his chest as we enjoyed the taste of each other. Pulling my lips away from his, I reached down to the hem of his shirt and pulled it off. I was entranced by the beautiful body before my eyes. In a matter of seconds he crushed his lips back on mine, both of us possessing each other's luxurious taste with our tongues. He let go of my waist as I reached down to the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head throwing it to the side. Jake walked us into the house, through the kitchen, and up the stairs. I was too occupied with kissing and sucking every exposed inch of his flesh that

I did not realize that we were inside of our room until my back came in contact with the cool sheets.

I sat up slightly and unclasped my black lacy bra. Jacob pulled it away from my body and tossed it over his shoulder. His lust filled gaze falling all along my half-naked body; stopping at my exposed breasts as he seemed mesmerized by the sight before him.

He leaned down and brushed his lips gently against mine before kissing me completely, laying me back. His large strong hands cupped my breasts, massaging them softly and gently pinching and tugging my erect pink nipples; the sensation was making me moan with intense pleasure and pain, "Ja-ke..."  
It felt like the first time all over again. My body was like a live wire. I had no clue if I wanted to pull him close or push him away. The sensation that was building inside of me seemed to be too much to bare. His trailed open mouthed wet kisses back up to my neck, his hands tangling in my now disheveled hair. He then glided his soft tongue down over to each of my breasts; licking and sucking around my nipples making me groan in pleasure.

"Why does this feel like the first time you've ever touched me?" I whined.

He reached down to unbutton and unzip his pants; pulling them off, throwing them into the pile of clothes on the side. Jake reached down to unbutton my pants; sliding them off along with my panties.

"It always has," he said as he settled in between my parted thighs. "And it always will feel this way."

His lips found mine again and in between our intense kissing he found time to discard his boxers. My body tensed when I felt him at my entrance. Jake pulled away slightly, " Do you love me?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"Only me forever?"

"Forever," I whimpered and moaned when I felt him enter me almost completely.

He placed one of his strong hands on my thigh; gripping it tight against him, wrapping my leg around his waist. My moans and silent whimpers began to fill the air and his thrusts increased. Jake lowered his head and bit down on each of my hardened nipples, he snaked his tongue out and flicked it back and forth over them; swirling around and tasting each of my breasts. The combination of his thrusts inside of me and his attack on my breasts was getting me closer to the edge.  
Beads of our sweat intermingling between each of our bodies. Jake's hands trailed along my body, taking my hands into his and intertwining our fingers. He held them in place and pushed as much of his weight down onto me as I could stand. His breathing came in a desperate rhythm.

God I was close; with a final stroke, I whimpered and writhed against him, the orgasm ripped through my entire being sending me into euphoric ecstasy.

"God, your beautiful," he breathed into my ear. "Let me heal you. Let me please you.

I could have cried. I wanted to cry so badly. There were so many emotions fluttering around inside of me. Love, fear, pain, hope, and everything else wrapped into one.

We spent all night making up for time lost. Being with Jacob in that way felt like heaven and hell rolled into one. I could have exploded into a million bits and pieces. My heart was so happy, so full. I knew that it would be days before I came down. This was what he did to me. It was always this way.

Long after Jacob and I had grown exhausted, we both found ourselves sprawled out on the king sized bed, wrapped in each other's warmth. I lay against his chest facing the window as his finger tips flirted with the damp hair at the nape of my neck. I concentrated on his heartbeat, the sound of his breathing, even the movement of his fingertips against my skin. Smiling inward, I shifted so that my eyes were meeting his. He smiled lightly and kissed the top of my head.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"I'm thinking of how much I've missed this," I said. "Being with you. I missed the way that you hold me the most in your absence. I've always felt safe in your arms."

"You are safe in my arms," He said lovingly. "I'll protect you from the world."

My gaze fell on his, "It's not the world that I'm afraid of."

He sighed, "What are you afraid of?"

"You," I murmured.

"And how do we fix that?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said honestly.

There was a long silence before he spoke again, "You scare me too ya know."

"I scare you?" I asked disbelievingly. "How do I scare... you?"

"My world is your hands," He said. "I saw what life was like for you when I was gone. You were able to move on without me. I don't have that kind of strength. I'll never feel half of what I feel for you for someone else. It's impossible. If you ever decided that I'm not enough and that you don't this anymore my life will be over."

Tears formed in my eyes at the thought of leaving Jacob. I felt guilty for holding onto the minor feelings that I still held for Jeremy. I should not have felt anything else for him but I did and nothing was helping. I did not want to ruin our beautiful night by bringing up Jeremy so I remained quiet until Jacob spoke again.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too. I always have and I always will," I told him. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" he chuckled. "You did nothing wrong."

"I did so much wrong. I doubted your love for me and for that I'm sorry. I guess I did not understand then as much as I do now. If I did I wouldn't have harmed myself."

"Don't worry about that now," he whispered. "I'm here now and I promise I'll fix all that is broken between us. That is if you'll let me."

J.P.O.V (Jeremy)

I don't know where to begin. I was fighting a war that could not be won. I was holding on to memories of all that used to be but the fact was that nothing would be the way that it was again. No matter how hard I'd fight, my feelings kept defeating me. Every time I closed my eyes I saw her. It was hard to focus. Bella was driving me to drink. When ever I took a shot I hoped it would numb the pain from the dent that she left in my heart. But the alcohol was not helping me. It was not fixing any of my problems.

Because of my excessive drinking I could no longer focus on what needed to be done for my daughter. Alba was still lifeless as ever. It was like watching a moth transform in a cocoon. Her magic put up a shield around her body. That shield made it impossible to communicate with her mentally.  
Fiona and Andre was still helping me. I did not deserve to have that sort of help. After all I had brought this upon myself. Ever was dead thanks to Alba. But killing her had put my daughter in so mystical coma. Jacob was back and it took no time for Bella to forget all about me. She did not even attempt to see if Alba was alright. I expected that much from her at least.

I sat quietly on the floor of my bedroom. My back rested against the wooden surface as I closed my eyes. I heard hollow footsteps approach. I sighed agitatedly as rolled over on my side to see Fiona standing inches away from me. She was dressed in all black from head to toe. Her face was un readable.

"Go away," I sighed. "I'm not in the mood to be badgered."

"Get your ass up," Fiona ordered. "Andre and I have located Isoni. So take a shower and get dressed. You and I are going out tonight."

"I can barely walk," I said as I stumbled to my feet.

"Your own fault."

Fiona grabbed my hand and lead me down the hallway toward the bathroom.

"Where are we going?"

"Isoni owns a strip club in Seattle."

"Theres a shocker," I chuckled.

"Not really," Fiona said. She shoved me into the bathroom and chucked a wash cloth at me. "She's always been that sort of girl. Andre will stay here and keep an eye on Alba while we are away. But I must tell you, there is a slim chance that Isoni will even help us."

"Then why are we wasting our time?"

She glared at me, "It's not a waste of time. You are doing this for your kid remember? Do you want Alba to stay this way for the rest of her life?"

"No."

"Okay then. Isoni's power will help us greatly. When we are together our magic is heightened. There's a pretty good chance that we will be able to break down her shield. Also Isoni's power could be of great use since your trying to get inside of Alba's head. The way I see it is you had better put your grown man pants on, swallow your pride, and beg that bitch for help."

"I'm too proud to beg," I rolled my eyes.

"Sure you are," she smirked. "Now, get your ass in the shower Jeremy. I don't have all night."

"Then get out," I stated.

"Gladly."

Fiona turned and exited the bathroom. I closed the door behind her, "Just fucking great."

#

Somehow I ended up at a back table in a dim light strip club. I watched as Fiona sashayed over toward the bar. She was flirting with the bartender. Her chest on full display as she placed her weight against the bar. I watched as the dirty blonde, bulky, and completely tatted bartender slid her a shot of something dark. Fiona smiled before throwing the drink back and slamming it on the counter. She whispered something to him before turning on her heels and making her way back over to our small table. The bartender's eyes never left her ass as she neared me and perched sexily down in her seat.

"What was that about?" I asked confused.

"Isoni normally come in around twelve to check on things. That gives us an hour. I'm going to go and pretend to be entertained by the strippers on stage. I want you sit back her incognito got it? Let me talk to her first. I remember how you left things with her so let me do the talking alright? The last thing we need is her trying to fillet your ass in front of humans."

I rolled my eyes, "Anything else?"

Fiona leaned closer to me and whispered, "Try to sober up a bit will ya?"

She patted me on the shoulder before rising from her seat and heading in the direction of the stage. It was going to be a long night.


	22. Chap 16 Falling in love, again(TEASER)

**A/N: I am soooooooooooooooo sorry. Please forgive me? pretty please? So, I have been absent in FanFic land for a while for personal reasons. Remember me is like my baby and I have every intention of finishing this story. Here is a teaser. I know you guys hate teasers but I am so excited to be writing again that I just had to post some of it. Also, this story no longer has a Beta. If anyone out there is up for the challenge please inbox me. Again, I am really sorry. **

**TEASER**

**B.P.O.V**

I was having a great day. For the first time, in years, I was having a great day. It started as soon a I opened my eyes. I sat alone in bed, with the sheet wrapped securely around my nude body. Last nights activities replayed themselves in my head over and over again. Of course, I wanted to angry with myself for being so weak. Last night was not supposed to happen that way. But, to be honest, there wasn't an angry bone in my body. It had been so long since I had been loved so thoroughly. Its really hard to explain. An out of body experience is what I like to call it. Great sex you always remember. But, great love making changes your life. Jacob owned my body. He had the power to make me feel things that you can't even imagine. The sinful things that he commands from me with just the touch of his lips or his finger tips literally makes me crazy.

I smiled and ran a hand through my disheveled hair before removing myself from the bed, taking the oversize white sheet with me. The sound of Jade's voice rang clear through the slightly cracked window. Walking over to it, I pulled the curtains back and let in the sunlight. Sunlight was rare. After all, we were located in La Push. So, when the sun decided to make an appearance everyone made sure to take advantage of it. I watched from the window as Jade and Jacob played catch. It was definitely a sight to see. Jade was not athletic at all. I guess you could say that she got that from me. The lack of a male figure in our house hold could have been the cause as well. I mean, we had the pack, but they also lead their own lives as well. So, I take full responsibility as to why my beautiful daughter preferred nail polish and a shoulder purse over sneakers and softballs.

Watching their interaction was not enough for me, I wanted to be a part of it. I wanted to bask in their happiness even if it did not last to long. After getting dressed in a plan white fitted V neck T shirt and black jean pants, I searched high and low for my converse sneakers. Successfully, I found them and dashed into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. A shower was the furthest thing from my mind. I wanted to smell like Jacob, but more importantly, I wanted him to smell us whenever he was near me. To say that I missed my husband is an understatement. I never thought I would see him ever again. Just knowing that he was so close, so near made me want to burst with happiness. There was something indescribable happening within me. I couldn't wipe the smile of my face.

Downstairs I found Rebecca sitting at dinning room table. Rachel was on her cellphone and pacing in the kitchen. Rebecca smiled at me and placed the pictures that she had in her hand on the table. "Hey Becks, how are you feeling?"

"I'm not nearly as great as you are," she said with a knowing smile. " I…I,"I began, but the only words that left my lips were, "I am happy."

Rebecca smiled, "You look happy. Bella, I know you. I think I may know you better than anyone. Well, except Jacob. I just want to say, for this one day, shut your brain off."

Before I could cut her off she continued, "Don't think about anyone else. Today, I want you to be selfish. Do what makes you happy."

I smiled. Rebecca and I seemed to be on the same page. She was absolutely right. It had been so long since I had the opportunity to just be.

"One more thing," Rebecca said. "Give me your cell phone."

"What am I twelve?" I murmured.

"Just a little help to keep you focused on you."

I walked closer to her and reluctantly pull my phone from my back pocket. I handed the phone to her.

"That wasn't so hard. I promise to take messages and if something important comes us I'll give it back. Now go, Jade and Jacob have been waiting on you sleeping beauty."

The corners of my mouth twitched as I fought to hold back the smile that wanted grace my face. I hugged Rebecca and then yelled a quick hello to Rachel in the kitchen. She was so preoccupied with her conversation that she smiled quickly before waving me off.

When I reached the archway of the front door, Jacob's attention quickly turned to me. He smiled my smile. It was a toothy ear to ear smile that could bring any girl to their knees. Jacob stood up straight. Neither of us making any sudden movements. The sexual tension instantly became so thick even outside and in front of our daughter, I was afraid that I would jump him. It was the same physical attraction that we shared so many years ago. We could barely hold proper conversations or hang out with our friends without grossing them out with our PDA. But, I didn't care. Jacob was mine and I was his.

Jade's sweet voice brought both of us back to reality. I stepped through the archway and onto the porch.

"Momma," Jade shouted as she ran up the steps in my direction. I lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around my middle, burying her face in my long locks of hair. Smiling, I started down the steps in Jacobs direction, "Let momma see your beautiful face, princess."

Jade removed her face from my hair and smiled her dimpled smile at me. I couldn't help but kiss her pretty little cheek over and over again. When I reached Jacob, he pulled me close. Before I could get a word out, he kissed me softly on the lips. I couldn't help the blush that I was sure that I was sporting.

"Hi," I managed to say lamely.

"Hi back," He said before winking at me. "How did you sleep, Bells?"

"I slept like a baby," I admitted. Jacob smirked knowingly. I just rolled my eyes and was grateful for Jade's presence. I really didn't care to hear his cocky comments on why I slept like a baby eve though I knew that his cocky comments were true.

"Daddy is going to take you on a picnic today," Jaded chanted.

"Really?" I asked, placing Jade back on her feet.

"Yup. It's a date really. We have to make you fall in love with him again."

"But, I already love your dad," I said, turning my attention to Jacob. "Is that what you think? That I don't love you anymore because I do."

"I know you love me," Jacob said. "But, this is something that I really need to do. The house is kind of crowded anyway and we really need to talk. I just miss you. I miss us."

"I really miss us too. So, are you asking me on a date?" I asked coyly.

Jacob blushed, "Only if you are agreeing. Will you go out with me Bella?"

I looked down at Jade who was nodding her head fiercely. My attention shifted back to Jake, "Is that a yes?" He asked, voice filled with hope.

"I'd love to."

Jacob pulled me in for one of his infamous bear hugs. I could barely breathe. His bear hugs used to annoy me immensely. Its funny how when you are with out something for a while, you appreciate it. In my head, I pleaded with him to squeeze me tighter and never let me go.

After what seemed like forever, he pulled away from me, "I have a few things to take care of. But, I want you to meet me at first beach at 7:30. Rebecca and Rachel will help you get ready."

"Okay."

Jake gave Jade and I a hug and kiss before taking off. I stood outside watching his retreating car disappear down the road. The unsettling fear crept back into the pit of my stomach. Whenever he left, I felt as if I couldn't breathe. It was the worse feeling in the world. My lungs felt as if they were going collapse. The tears formed in my eyes. Jacob took my happiness with him. There was a tug on my hand. Tears stained my cheeks as I gazed down at Jade. Her face mirrored my emotions. Guilt coursed through me. It saddened me that I could not be strong for her.

"Momma," she said sweetly. "You'll see daddy tonight. Don't cry."

"Sorry kid. Come on, lets get inside."


End file.
